WANDERING, WONDERING, WORKING IT OUT @coollytremendousobserver - Tumblr Blog

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I am Wendy, female, bi, a follower of the Dark Lord who, by lamplight after meditating in my pentagram ,typed this missal giving birth to what I will call Wendy's Wanderings where I "wonder", gather and "work thru my thoughts and ideas . . . where I have an opportunity to address, share, elucidate and whatever other term I elect to describe, opinions, conclusions, s and feelings concerning me and “who I am” as a follower of the Dark Lord. Here I am able to discuss actual life issues, respond to queries and questions, speak to my life living in a xian “bubble”, share about why and how I came to be a follower of the Dark Lord as well as “work out and work through” why I believe the way I do. I have done this in the past only to find my past tumblrs suddenly disappearing into the ether. I am learning to live with that with the hope that with the passage of time or even the discovery of another platform, I can find a place where I can share and speak to issues involving things spiritual, sexual and sensual frankly because each of us are sensual and sexual as well as spiritual beings. I do not use the latter term with the idea that each of us are divine. Rather, I do so because each of us know that we comprehend the “beyond” though we may not be able to explain it. Each of us are inherently "spiritual" because we always, if we are honest, find ourselves looking beyond ourselves and even those we see around us. As one online follower wrote in the past: “ I can’t escape the fact that the Divine exists. Even if I deny He or She or both, my mind constantly cohfronts me with ” He is". (Here I to chose the masculine though I see Divinity as above gender). My friend went on to share: “I can but I can’t deny Him because He is beyond human reason.”

I am Wendy because I can be "windy", if i wish, pun intended. I often am.

Again, in this space I will speak to issues involving morality as well as sensuality because we are sensual and sexual creations constantly impacted by those senses every minute of every hour of every day. Primary among these, despite protestations to the contrary, are desire and lust, issues common to the human condition. How do we deal with them. How do we react? How do we respond? individually within ourselves as well as outwardly where our response is witnessed by others?

I do share personal events that occur around me on occasion for any number of reasons, primarily because I can. This isn’t the place for politics so please avoid attempting to engage me in that arena.

I am what is called "theistic" because I believe there is an actual Presence who I call the Dark Lord.

Overall, this tumblr is my journal of sorts where i include my thoughts often after I spend time in my pentagram or similar situation. i am open to questions, etc but wish any and all to know that I am no specially empowered seer or sorceress, etc. What one sees and reads herein are my thoughts, my reasoning about why I believe as I do.

I am open minded, admittedly selectively promiscuous if I wish to be and an honest in my responses if I elect to respond. I use illustrations with my writings and, upfront, share this tumblr is adults only, over l8, Mature, Sexually themed at times and NSFW. Whatever other labels and designations are necessary I will use them when i discover them. I smile because in an effort to enjoy engaging in free expression we often find the limitations are nebulous and inconclusive. I sum up my describing my site as “adult” and “Mature”, etc. with the phrase “ like a well, the topics are deep”.

I will respond to questions about how I interact with and follow the Dark Lord and, how I came to discover Him. I will attempt to keep my articles brief and realize that often a topic can involve numerous approaches thus its own article. My language is what I wish to use and I am frequently blunt. This isn’t an exercise in creative writing. Well, it is in a way. Its more me expressing myself.

Wendy's Wondering & Wandering is my personal secret space and will remain that for me and those who indulge in reading it and interacting with me. Here, in this space I am what I describe as “my real me”.

My reason for this effort, such as it is, may be expressed with three words:

Think about it.

Ave Obscurum Dominum

" . . . finally grasping the fruit . . . ."

" . . . I have over and over activated and deactivated tumblr accounts because I knew being here was sinful and wrong and jeopardized my ever being in heaven with my children. . . . But I kept coming back . . . and then after . . . would feel bad or guilty and deactivate . . . Thank you for guiding me to grasp the fruit . . . to understand that what I am experiencing is normal . . . that how I feel isn't all wrong . . . so this time when I again was prepared to abandon yet another tumblr, this time I didn't . . . It was hard no to. . . . I didn't because, at last, I admitted to myself I would be coming back anyway . . . drawn by my own sexual aspirations . . . . I walked away without deactivating and deleting . . . I ended up standing in my kitchen and felt a sudden sense of release as if I had sat down a burden. . . . I felt free. . . ."

An interesting series of messages from an online follower who will remain anonymous. I share the excerpts I have selected where she outlines what I call "the sensual pendulum" often affecting xian wives and others who come to tumblr and similar sites, indulge their interests and retreat for what I will describe here as moral and religious reasons. In this wife's situation, the fear that somehow she is eternally damned and won't see her kids in Heaven . . . That can be a heavy burden. However, there were more issues I won't outline here. The focus of this article is to share what I would describe as "coming to herself", realizing she had a free mind and free will, and grasped that fruit where she realized what she has always been taught to see as "sin" was truly normal . . . . Every person' quest: How then shall we live? Every person's journey is different but in a way similar.

All of us will lust and desire when it comes to things sensual and sexual whether we wish to or not . . . She had seen solo sex as sinful but declares she has abandoned that belief and sees doing so as I do, a gift we are given where we can sail the endless seas of our sensual imagination without taboo or limit without condemnation.

A common issue, as I see it, is this reality where sex is pleasure but still sinful if not indulged in as one is told by others so that even when one is with their spouse, how and what occurs is still oh so wrong and one's eternal destiny is in the balance. The format doesn't mesh. A simply way to say it: We are created sensual and sexual beings. Sex is pleasurable yet sex is sinful. And that is just the beginning . . . there is so much more involved . . .

She shares she has set aside the fears brought about because of her "faith" and feels better having done so.

More can be shared. However, my focus here is to share our sister here is acknowledging that , while for her it was one of those leaps toward exploring her "real me". One might compare it to when a girl decides she is going to screw. Yes, that sounds crass but the comparison is apt?

This may be seen as just another affirmation to a wife who is stepping onto her lane in the left hand path. It isn't. It's my recognizing her for her willingness to take the risk, and similar to Eve in the Garden, grasping the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil . . . Is it that she is sees and understands what is "good and evil" differently?

Think about it.

A PASSIONATE PERFORMANCE . . . . .Yuga Wang at Carnegie Hall concluding Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue . . . . immersed in the sensual electricity of it all . . . . look at her face as she plays and

Think about it.

A SAFE PLACE TO BE ONLY IN MY SKIN . . . . I found this while viewing a post attributed to @irishangeleyes2d

The "why" behind women finding their way to sites like tumblr where we are able to anonymously explore, discover, indulge and enjoy finding our "real me"? Yes, but the caption says more: " be only in my skin".

Why am I here? One can read my opening article where I try to explain my reasons. Yet, this caption sums it up. So . . . it stands out, at least for me.

I am able to be open with myself in a way I can't be even with those closest to me. I can share a side of me which might scare even me when it comes to my thoughts. I am able to learn about myself because I can react to and interact with my thoughts, etc, and with others if I wish (here, I call it wandering and wondering) without having to worry about others' opinions or their "good opinion" of me.

Sometimes, in simple captions like these, one can see the oft not acknowledged reason we are "online"? All of us can list the reasons we are "here". Isn't the true reason because we are able to feel safe in our own skin as we enjoy being able to engage here as we do?

How often do we realize in places like these our real selves, discover other interests and indulge in things unexplored which we haven't for any number of reasons?

I share this as I do because I felt this needed to be said because the illustration and the caption led me to

Think about it.

@cloudmistdweller shares the following in his response to a previous query on the topic.

"Reconsidering the Temple whore question and answer. My wicked side says that doing wicked things in and around a xian church is the highest calling a slut could aspire to. The slut wife is playful. Spreading legs for fun. A secular whore is an economic choice. Spreading and sucking for power and promotion and position. For a better home and hearth. But. A Temple Whore is a missionary for His Wickedness She uses her entire being to further His paradigm. By planting seeds of lust and desire in the place of xian worship. Using her skills to seduce and inspire women especially to be their true selves. She doesn’t just spread her legs in the chapel. She gets others to spread their legs. She teaches how wonderful semen is to the body and in turn for the soul. She hints that family should be a source of happiness via minimal clothing and sunbathing. She encourages playful talk during prayer times and creates doubts about scripture. (of course Jonah was in a big fish for three days. There is plenty of oxygen in a whale). She gets women to wonder what a pussy tastes like by suggesting a lady taste herself to make sure she is ready for her husband. Finally. A Temple Whore makes others whores as well in other churches and seeks to make her daughter one as well. Her goal is that her daughter and all the daughters are equally ordained. Think about it."

MORE ABOUT 'MORESOMES' . . . the reality is women don't just wonder about it . . .

The old adage "the more the merrier" definitely applies when it comes to today's women who more openly share they don't just enjoy casual sex with random others, they are engaging in moresomes (or admitting they do so) so much so women not just want to do so but actually do so as a rite of passage . . . something most women won't admit but do engage in, often in college and before marriage . . .

A follower forwarded me the following online information because reading it, she felt affirmed rather than ashamed. Her journey into moresomes began when she was in high school and involved two brothers who lived nearby. She wasn't the only girl who did so.

She was (and I admit I am) impressed with what she discovered during her "research" because of the article's lack of negativity . . . . one reads straightforward conclusions without it being judgmental. More than once I've listened as women, especially those who one would never believe or think would ponder much less fantasize about the topic, shared their "interest" and I have encouraged women- wives especially -to indulge, an admission I freely make because they were finally doing what they wanted and not what they should do . . . "and it felt good" . . . for all involved. The article:

"Many women today find threesomes and foursomes appealing, with research showing nearly 90% of women fantasize about group sex. While roughly one-in-five people have participated in a threesome, enjoyment often depends on emotional security, respect, and clear communication rather than just the act itself.

Prevalence of Fantasies: Threesomes are ranked among the most common sexual fantasies for both men and women.Threesome Experiences (MFF and MMF): While MFF (Male-Female-Female) is common, research shows women are increasingly open to or engaged in MMF (Male-Male-Female) scenarios. Women in MMF scenarios often find it more desirable if the men interact with each other, enhancing pleasure and providing a less objectifying, safer environment.Foursomes and Group Sex: Discussions on platforms like Quora and Reddit suggest that some women prefer foursomes to threesomes, sometimes finding them more balanced when two couples interact, according to user discussions.Key Factors for Enjoyment: Women tend to enjoy these experiences more when they are consensual, respectful, and not coerced, notes this article on Medium.Challenges: The same WebMD article and Good Clean Love blog note that such encounters can be complex to arrange and may be emotionally challenging."

What I truly appreciate and acknowledge by sharing this is this outwardly xian spouse is, showing me and not just telling me she spent some quality time where she sat down to

Think about it.

Moresomes should be on every woman's wishlist.

" . . . I admit I am drawn to mens' equipment . . . "

How to address a query put by a purported wife who shares she, despite her outward piety, is drawn to men and their "equipment". Her ventures on tumblr are her secret. She is married to a staunch RC husband who was planning to enter the priesthood until he met her. Let us say she has a "past" in high school and college. Let me just say she is "into tumblr", swinging back and forth between staying and leaving. Enough background. Back to the topic:

She calls them cocks but she, like many of us, worry about the tumblrgods somehow revealing her anonymity. i have to again smile when it comes to her concerns. . . .

Cutting to the chase, while many women have an aversion to being inundated with unexpected and unwanted "dick pics" online , the truth is they are often a magnet . . . They are an online staple. What about "real life"?

Often I watch women at church who are eyeing attractive men. What is often overlooked is women discreetly note shoe size and men's hands. More than one woman I know at church has shaken hands with a guy simply to see the size of his hands and fingers. For you see, wives tales or not, there is this unwritten coda having to do with ways to determine if a guy is "well-endowed" . . . better said "has a big one."

Another fact of life is even when a woman is interested, actual sex may not be intended, "in the picture" or her plan. Fondling, feeling and maybe oral might be the extent of her desire because, well, a woman may be interested but when it comes to actual intercourse other factors often come into play. And we women are voyeurs.

We enjoy romance novels and chick flicks. Jillling is part of our personal private experience where we sail the infinite oceans of our sensual imagination safely. Porn is now seen as "soft" and "hard", etc. in part so it can be acceptable because more and more women watch it. Also, Bigger isn't really better when taking it is an endurance contest. However, size does attract and there are wives and women today who are "interested". I have more than once shared that while men especially join women to quell "Bigger is better" propaganda, we find husbands who are "average" (?) often purchasing huge to horse-size lifelike sex toys wanting their wives to submit to the purported pleasure because these men are buying into the propaganda or want to witness their wives doing the deed ala bigger . Men do, whether they are willing to admit it or not, often encourage their spouses to be their personal porn stars without actually saying so. Many smile and deny it but the fact is that is exactly what is happening.

Passion is meant to be pleasurable and passion isn't size focused. Casual sex isn't intimate in the passionate sense . . . . it's raw and orgasm oriented for the most part. While women are aware of this. most men aren't.' Men too often read more into a casual hookup than women. Men all to often assume too much when it comes to a woman's willingness to indulge in some measure of sensual interaction.

I will note there is now a growing interest among women to indulge in and with faux lifelike animal phalli. It may be illegal for one to actually indulge at a stable or kennel but doing so with a toy isn't. I digress.

This isn't Wendy's mini-treatise on women and the phallus. I'm responding to one of many queries put to me. I find it easier to share what science says because, well, I can speak only for me and what I am aware of. The experts per online:

"Yes, many women are attracted to penises, though preferences vary greatly and are often contextual rather than purely visual. While some women find them sexually arousing to look at, others may feel neutral or prioritize other physical traits, focusing more on the person as a whole rather than just the genitalia.

Size and Attraction: Studies show that while size can be a factor, it is not always the primary factor in attraction. Research often suggests a "Goldilocks" size—roughly 4–6 inches—is generally preferred, with larger sizes sometimes causing discomfort.

Contextual Preference: For many, the appeal of a penis is tied to their emotional connection to a partner, and it is rarely viewed in isolation.

Variability: Similar to men’s varying preferences for female body parts, women's attraction to penises ranges from strong admiration to indifference."

Phallic attraction is real but not in the way most men want to believe. One would be surprised to discover how many pious, outwardly halo-wearing women are crotch-watchers. Interest in the phallus is just that because its a natural attraction . . . part of our sensual and sensual self. But . . . .

There are alternatives. All manner of strapons are also popular, always up and ready and come without all the ego-issues, etc, that come with dealing with a guy. There may not be "a real guy" but the fact is the strapon is still a phallus. I need to close.

I will be the first to admit a phallus can be a sex magnet. My personal reasons behind why I elect to,. in some way, play with or otherwise pleasure and am pleasured by some guy's tool are my own and have nothing to do with a male's assumptions. I compare all this to a woman with big boobs. She who might be better in bed often isn't so endowed and many that do often complain they get in the way, etc but there seems to be this idea the bigger one's boobs, she's better in bed. Or more open to sex because her boobs are seen to make that apparent . . . . when it doesn't. I've had more than one woman complain that often being seen seriously was impacted because of "my tits and tush". Even though not a word was spoken it became quickly evident that the men present were drawn thereto.

Enough said. Maybe the next time a guy is with or around women in a crowd or group such as church he should watch her eyes especially if she shakes hands with a guy.

And we women are aware that some men wear size 12 shoes when the perfect fit is a 9. We are also aware guys stuff socks in their shorts. I'm often told doing so is "old" and "a joke". Yet, it still happens. And, yes, we women are just as guilty.

Think about it.

I chose the illustration from online because of the woman's expression, not the fact the guy happens to be black so please don't misread my intent. And, yes, this is poorly written off the cuff in the silence after midnight other than the sound of the waves crashing on the sand . . .

STIRRINGS FROM MY CAULDRON?:

" . . . so how should I respond if she is bisexual at least for now? . . ."

Another email sent by a purported mom.

How should a mom react when she sees her daughter exploring things sexual with another girl and enjoying it? My response is: Be supportive. It's her journey. You can be a part of it or on the outside looking in. Especially today when being bisexual is if not can be and should be a part of a girl's sensual journey. Sure, it's all seen as sinful . . . which makes it more than just "interesting". One might even say doing so is a sort of declaration of independence. How will I know what I like much less want if I don't experience it? I am reminded of a person who "knows" because she has "read the book" while another "truly knows" because she has at least tried it. We live in an "age" where gender is seen as fluid. However,

Same sex interactions aren't gender fluidity. There is no declaration of one's gender preference. It's one taking the leap into the sensual unknown . . . some will say "surrendering one's self" to passion and pleasure. The language sounds magnetic. The experience, especially the orgasms, can be exquisite and the fact it's all so sinful, rebellious and perverse heightens and intensifies what is happening. Being bi is that place where one feels "at home" when its sex with either gender. I am finding wives today who see being bisexual as spiritually damning (those verses in Romans about the xian Almighty giving us up) at the same time are seeing it as liberating. More than one xian wife has shared she "did it" in college, has been drawn to "do so again" and is often angry with herself because she sees herself damned if she does and damned if she doesn't, that seemingly inescapable angst one doesn't want to experience but can if we simply make the choice to indulge and not see it as the sin we're told it is when it isn't.

Especially when it has to do with teens and girls discovering themselves . . . as well as xian wives overcoming that feeling this is "all so wrong yet feels oh so right". One reading this can see it's hard to describe in a few words what I am trying to say.

Of course, when one, like me, is her mom we do wonder about all the arousing, wicked aspects of the relationship such as sleepovers are suddenly "more". And when the daughter knows mom is "aware and okay with it", it is fun to see the emerging sensual interactions that occur between the two as they explore this sense of freedom that now "surrounds" their situation. Being a devotee of the Dark Lord allows me, at least in my opinion, to address the issue maturely even if the fact I am a follower isn't common knowledge.

One "being bi" has nothing to do with "gender choice" or even fluidity though one may "see it that way". Its that willingness to explore things sensual and sexual with whoever we wish because we want to do so because we may feel "its oh so deliciously right" while it is also "oh so wickedly wrong" which draws one like a magnet. Everything about what we see happening takes on a different sensual "hue".

There is that new found sense of perverse passion that one experiences even if their watching it happening . . . Me? I admit I am aroused as I

Think about it.

RELIGION, REPUTATION & OUR REAL ME . . . .

"Why do i feel guilty for wanting to be my real me?

To answer the question properly one must need to know what the person means when she (or he) uses the phrase "real me"? Wny? because the question may have nothing at all to do with morality except insofar as honesty and sincerity without things sinfully sexual and sensual. When it comes to we women and the context within which the question is posed it's obvious the focus is on how then shall I be seen to live by others. Each of us are aware who we truly are on the inside along with what we truly think or believe isn't something we reveal even to those closest to us. When it comes to things sensual certainly each of us have secrets we might never reveal to those closest to us. Actually, when it has to do with things sensual and sexual, often women prefer to reveal a part of their "real me" to persons they don't know at all . . . especially when they take the leap into "action". How many of us have strayed and played while away where no one knows us. Often these little sinful "escapes" aren't the open orgy filled experiences that might come to mind. An out of town experience can be that opportunity where a woman can "let her hair down" . . . and simply sit back and not worry about "back home" where, even among her friends, she presents a facade . . . not her real self because, well, knowledge is power and there are secrets or things we want to experience we don't feel ready or safe to share even with our closest friends, spouses, family. How many times have wives "felt single" when away?

How then shall we live is, when it comes to the others we interact with, bound up in reputation . . . and then there is "religion", especially when it comes to xians and xian wives and outward behavior. These two, reputation and religion, are the bedrock of our "morality". And when one asks about our "morality", each of us are aware we define the term for ourselves because, for example, we know it is impossible to be totally honest with others. I am reminded of my husband's reaction to one of the older sisters in our congregation who prided herself iin her choice of wardrobe. The dress she was wearing that Sunday was stylish. However, the print was garish and so "not her". He was standing there when she came up in her new frock, showing it off as we women might do and she asked me what I thought about it. She asked me but she looked at him. I had to smile because I knew his opinion (He had already commented when seeing her arrive). He smiled and said something like " . . . Wow! (her name) you truly stand out!". His words were honest. His facial and body reactions were the lie. However,

The focus of this article has to do with the ongoing issue we all deal with and that can be summed up in one word "sex". Yes, this is another article where that phrase "lust and desire" is the focus. I am again responding to an illustration sent by a follower asking for "your thoughts" (mine). And she isn't focusing on any sinful action, she is frustrated with the fact she has sinful thoughts. No matter how much she struggles with them and constantly prays for forgiveness (she is a xian), she's angry with herself because she can be lusting and desiring even while she is seeking absolution. In this case she shares she found herself aroused by the handsome priest recently assigned to her parish who she "admired" before and after she went for confession. The handsome athletic (her description) seminarian had been recently assigned to their parish.

I understand what she is experiencing. Even though i follow the Dark Lord and know I am free to imagine, lust and desire as I wish, because I live outwardly in a xian bubble I experienced that angst and anger that takes awhile to overcome because , in addition to religions' moral code, there is reputation . . . . Even if things spiritual seemingly aren't a concern we still find ourselves wanting to be seen a certain way by any number of groups, persons, etc. For example, at work, among close family, our offspring, our spouse. A phrase I heard growing up was "good opinion". How often do we "fake it" in some way when we interact with others. How often are we women in some way "hit on" and act offended or disregard what is occurring when the truth is we are wondering what it would be like to be with him. Okay, if I'm honest who i saw was a "she". That's another story. Because I'm a devotee of the Dark Lord I didn't and don't feel guilty about it. But there are times when I was . . . .

I'll take this a step further: I enjoy jilling and am not afraid to admit, sin that I am told it is. I'm aroused. If I wish I am free to jill and do so. In fact, I am often creative when it comes to solo sensual play. Now, as a devotee of the Dark Lord, when I have those "sinful" feelings where I once felt anxious . . . now they are , well, electric? I smile and indulge them in whatever way I wish.

I will share that the wife who shared the illustration with me shared she finds she is thinking more and more about taking the leap to taking action when it comes to her "real me". Might it be she is "taking action" now as she questions herself, realizing , despite the moral codes we live within, she is beginning to see her situation as honest arousal and shouldn't be seen as something evil? It has to do with my perspective. In the past I have shared the Dark Lord wants me to see life thru a sensual lens where I'm not afraid to be drawn to my desires . . .

One might compare this response to throwing broken pieces of bread to the seagulls which I did today.

One of the joys I experience as I travel in my lane on the left hand path is that suddenly lusting and desiring especially when it seems inappropriate is something that I see as normal and wickedly so. There is not longer the guilt and anger. My focus now when it happens? How do I deal with it?

Think about it.

My "religion" allows me freedom. Reputation is important. That is why I follow the Four Maxims. i don't feel guilty. I feel excited.

Think about that!.

THE SMALL SENSUAL SOMETIMES NOT MEANT TO BE SEEN SIGNALS THAT SPEAK VOLUMES . . . . . Often these small events can inspire, affect, impact and, yes, arouse others who see it . . .

One would think the illustration is a young couple who are dating when the reality I am referring to is my daughter and me watching an adulterous interaction between a husband and his wife's apparent best friend outside a restaurant at the beach. I had to smile because suddenly, yet again, I was witnessing one of those "dynamite situations"- which can blow up at any moment so makes everyone around apprehensive - unless the two couples are in the lifestyle . . . which I don't believe at all considering how the situation was occurring. I admit I found myself aroused though i didn't say so because . . . .

The same scene was witnessed by my eagle-eyed emerging teen daughter who told me as we looked on it was "hot to watch". The two of us had decided to eat out. It was she who nudged me as we walked toward the entrance to the eating establishment behind the focus threesome. How did I know the two weren't married to each other? One could easily overhear the conversation between them as the guy's wife was pointing to an item in an adjacent shop window and telling her husband she wanted to purchase it later. Did this incident become the grist for further conversation? No! not really. Well, yes.

Other than my princess mentioning the guy was playing with fire unless everyone was on board which even she didn't believe for a minute. At least she was aware of the "danger". But she was all into the sinful aspect. Not they shouldn't be doing it. Her attitude: they weren't being very discreet. Also,

What the two lovers may have thought was hidden wasn't just witnessed by we two wenches. It quickly became apparent to others in the larger gathering waiting to get in what was unfolding. It may have been the looks on the faces of the adulterous duo when they smiled at each other, etc . . . Whatever! There were not just the smiles but those other touchy feely close to each other signs. So much so the couple were seen doing the "deed" such as it was. Some times watching the signals can be more powerful that watching them have actual sex? The imagination is a powerful tool, especially when one is at the beach where the attire is casual and revealing.

So I find myself sitting on the porch having drawn a pentagram in the sand making a note to include this as an article because , well, it was a life lesson-for me- and let me know that my daughter isn't a girl but a woman . . . because it wasn't what the princess said, it was the way she conveyed what she saw to me. And while we didn't "talk sensible sex" as some might think, the two of us did enjoy engaging in wicked suppositions.

Often communication may include words but so much more is said when one takes in the actions in the interaction. No, this isn't all that important because what we witnessed occurs all too often. Not the adultery but the cute, quiety, meaningful small signals we often use to show affection. What made me smile . . . even aroused me somewhat . . . was how quickly my daughter caught on and pointed it out. Not just the signal but the fact she was aware the two involved were married but not to each other as well as her commenting they weren't being discreet.

I often share that we just don't experience lust and desire, we live in the midst of it . . .

Much more can be said and probably needs to be . . . Seeing the illustration online inspired my taking time to share what occurred to my Wanderings and Wondering where I will (an encourage others to)

Think about it?

I just purposed to my fiance two months ago. We are still figuring out the details but I wanted to ask if there was anything subtle that I can add to the wedding to acknowledge the Dark Lord and all his gifts to me. I prayed to him to find love. And it took some time but he brought her to me. And she knows about me and my dark kinks. He gave me this life and I am so greatful. I also don't want to miss this opportunity to show him my gratitude.

What you wish to do is something simple and sincere. The Dark Lord is already pleased with the fact you are a follower. This is your wedding but it is her day. You might gift her a beautiful discreet pentacle necklace which can be ordered online or the same for yourself which you could wear but wouldn't be on display. Of course, there are other discreet items of jewelry you might obtain for yourself. You might even write a small praise note to him, fold it and have it in your pocket during the day. You aren't interested in things blatant, only that personal acknowledgement of your devotion . . . . which He has already.

Think about it.

How can a church going man further the kingdom of the dark Lord in his daily life ?

By believing that He is and thinking (and acting) accordingly. One isn't expected to go about in cowls, dressed all in black, etc. One lives their life viewing the world thru the lens of their "belief". Recognizing we are free to think and act as we will and wish, some of us enjoy wearing the discreet pentagram. Others desire to take what I will call a more prominent "leap" into declaring our followship, which is fine.

Following the Dark Lord is personal, a fact within us. We would love to be able to be "more public" as if the worship of the Dark Lord were similar to how it is with church. But even there the same issues about how then shall we live each day abound. If one gives it some thought. As xians we strive to do what? Live within what I will call the expectations of a proper life. We are never quite sure how to do that though we struggle to do so. Struggle?

Yes. Because we are given a standard we're expected to abide. However, even then xianity tells us we can't measure up so we discover we are expected to simply trust and believe because, as xians, we are saved not by what we do or how we act but what we believe . . . It's called "grace", the fact the xian Almighty loves us enough to see us as He wants us to be (see the ending of the little book of Jude before the last book of Revelation in the New Testament) because that is the only way it works. Why?

Because each of us lust and desire and , therefore, sin. The problem with xianity is thus what?

Again, it is that we are constantly crushed and live with a heaviness of spirit because our life is a constant clash where sex, things sensual, lust and desire are to be denied when the reality is we are created and thus experience these things which are, we are told, are wrong, to be denied to us by us in order to acheive the eternal reward. I'm not discussing the nature of the Dark Lord. I am speaking to how then shall I live with this constant very real conflict. I do so by realizing its normal for me to think as I wish and I am free to act as I want but since I live with others in the world that I do with the laws that exist , I am free to indulge in whatever I wish as long as I do so exercising the Four Maxims: Prudence, Discretion, Responsibility and Common sense.

Yes, a follower of the Dark Lord can live a live that is as ascetic as the most devout xian hermit except we don't see ourselves filled with sin and strive to drive it from our body. We enjoy life from the perspective we are free to indulge our minds as we will. Our actions are our own. Underlying all this is who we follow within ourselves . . . I see the world thru what I call a sensual lens. That sounds wicked but really it's recognizing it's okay to think about and indulge my desires if I elect to do so, utilizing the Four Maxims in the process.

How each of us wish to express our belief openly is up to each of us. We aren't required to engage in any lifestyle behavior demanded by others. What we wear and who we are inside is up to us. I like to compare it to sitting in church (where I feel comfortable, by the way) and when the Lord's Prayer is recited, have no issue following along because the "Father" I follow isn't the one addressed in the prayer.

Might it be that following the Dark Lord isn't following the traditions so often adopted by other religions where we, as humans, raise up great monoliths, buildings and temples to acknowledge our followship. Rather each of us are that "monolith". Yes, i may in some way impact those around me at a distance but isn't it better said my influence extends to within me (an unlimited horizon if I allow myself the freedom to explore my mind without guilt and angst) and how then shall I live extends to my immediate environment where I actually interact with others? Followship begins with an open mind that is, in a way, closed becuase when one "believes" we are choosing a "path'?

Having shared as i have I will end this article at this point here in the early hours of the morning. Might it be that following the Dark Lord is seeing "God" as He really is and not as we are told He is by the religions, theologians and academics who, trying to help actually hurt because, in the end, all are trying to find the "right and proper way to express what is and what is to be expected" when it can't be done because of the very nature of the Divine? . . . . because faith and belief is personal and how we see and interact with the Divine may seem the same but isn't? Isn't the reality even if I am holding the hand of my spouse or cuddling with a partner, I am still "alone" . . .? so how then shall I live is up to me? I am the only one who knows my real me and that's okay. My freedom comes because I don't see my thoughts and the fact I lust and desire as a burden . . .

Wendy is being windy . . . and no doubt confusing. These are the thoughts that come to mind as I type this. With this, I'm striving to share honestly and Im trying to share something simply when the subject isn't. I share this as I do so I and others, if any, can begin to truly

Think about it?

Using sex to sell

The photo was taken for a pillow ad, showing a use for the product they're selling. How often is sex use in selling things?

Almost all if not all the time if one takes time to "see" how the item is being "sold". Maybe a way to "say it" is "Sensuality sells".

Think about it!

Whore vs prostitute

People associate one to mean the other. Can one be a whore and not be a prostitute? If a whore receives a gift or favor for sex, do they become a prostitute?

" I may be a whore but I am NOT a prostitute ." is a phrase often heard because of the prevalence of the word "whore" often being used to intensify a casual sexual or sexual/sensual experience. It can also be used as a derogatory term. Context is the key to what is meant at the moment. What is happening is this:

While the labels both mean the same thing, what I will call the "ancient" or "medieval" or "biblical" word "whore" today mirrors the word "slut" . . . . . a promiscuous woman,

However, "slut" is often used by women especially as a derogatory term devoid of the "sex" these days. In fact I've heard it used as a positive: "You ARE a slut, aren't you?" while those around laugh. Somehow it's sexual and it isn't . . . like "son of a bitch" and the F-word.

"Prostitute" however is seen as "commercial trade". There is no doubt one is into it for the money, the cash. It's a legal term which we often "clean up" with words like "escort" which actually means "I'm in it for the money and there isn't any sex". Of course, there can be and often is. However, "prostitute" is a "no doubt" term

What makes me smile is the current "slut walk" trend among young women who are "standing in solidarity" with "sex workers", another term or description used to take the edge off "prostitute". I admit "sex workers" is , at least, being boldly honest but isn't a term one uses or hears during the heat of passionate screwing to intensify or enhance the experience. I have heard more than one wife and woman admit to me as I do also: "I feel like a whore" ; " I'm a whore at heart" . . . . its a word that speaks to sensual and sexual freedom within ourselves where morality, etc, is thrown to the winds . . . .

Much more can be said. Stll, I will end here. I admit the sender answered his own question. However, I respond as I do because I remember somewhere in the past I was reading an article about "Who is a slut?" and discovered from the gurus online that being called a "slut" might not have any sexual connotations at all.

Is communication today overburdened by context and worry about giving some kind of offense? Hmmmm.

Frankly, in the height of passion play I prefer the "ancient" . . . . Understand?

Think about it.

PASSING . . . a fact of life often avoided and overlooked today by some and the term itself is seen as derogatory? when it isn't. Interracial interaction as the result of passing can impact a future generation. Might as well say so upfront:

My husband received a call at home where he shared he had been summoned to the local hospital for what he was told was a family emergency. A young couple was having their first child and something had occurred . . . I learned later that when the father witnessed the birth he suddenly yelled at his wife and walked out. For you see, the baby was, well, black. The couple was white as were both of their families. The wife was no less almost hysterical I am told. She said she had never been with another man since their marriage and couldn't understand, didn't understand what was happening. The doctors and other staff were trying to calm the situation. However, the family members present, hers and his, were all alarmed . . . Suddenly the sweet wife of two years appeared to be a slut.

Sometimes it takes folks in old Southern families to understand what had happened. The new mom wasn't into black men on the side. It took an aged great grandmother to "fess up" to a family secret. What happened can be summed up with one word not often heard today -

PASSING . . . .

At the hospital the aged matriarch called my husband aside and it quickly became evident what had happened. Widowed great grandma had married a black man who passed for white. Even she wasn't aware at the beginning. The story is an interesting one . . . the truth being there was always this fear that suddenly the truth would be exposed in a subsequent offspring. However, it didn't or hadn't happened. Then two generations later, with the great grandfather long dead, suddenly it happened. My husband found the new father in a local bar, returned him to the hospital where great grandma confirmed the truth and the marriage was saved . . .

Passing for white has a long tradition in the South especially. It was "understood" if one was aware and might never be mentioned or wasn't. Why not? The truth was in the days before DNA one could never be sure there hadn't been a crossing of the color line in the family tree. Sure, it wasn't something openly addressed. When I later talked about it with our daughter, about this idea, no . . . this fact of "passing", the two of us watched the old movie "The Imitation of Life" where that topic was a central feature of the plot of the flick.

What happened with the young couple and their families' response after all this isn't the focus of this article, only the fact that "passing" is a reality often overlooked because it's rare today or is it? I mention it because, well, it happened . . . I have to wonder how the young wife felt when she realized what was happening as she held her new baby and her husband thought she was a whore, a name he threw about when he saw the baby and felt crushed himself?

The current "Every white wife needs to be bred by a black guy" craze is into big-bellied pregnant white women pictured with virile black lovers on the side anxious to be taken again and again. One might call this underlying effort scientific racism . . . eugenics? Oh, well, all manner of thoughts come to mind. Non-monogamous marriages being just one. Today, Interracial sensual and sexual interaction can be exciting and engaging if one wants to indulge. Doing so is certainly accepted. The truly sinful side of the current online equation has to do with white wives with white husbands indulging in adultery with black men and getting pregnant . . . . which also happens. It's popularity as a topic to be considered if not indulged and enjoyed is growing . . .

However, this article points to a different topic: passing . . . Rather than sum up, I will stop here and . . .

Think about it.

IT REALLY DOES HAPPEN ! Suddenly it just ups and surprises you . . .

Think about it.

baskinbrooks

coollytremendousobserver

" . . . when my husband was deployed my (single again) mother in law moved in with me and I admit at first I wasn't really happy about it but my husband insisted. . . . I did come to appreciate it because, suddenly when my husband left, it seems I was fair game for every guy . . . around me . . . I admit I was lonely and it wasn't easy . . . Girls I worked with wanted to know how I was handling doing without . . .while guys at work and even friends of my husband were letting me know they wanted to take me . . . Talk about sex and all the insinuations all the time . . . You do miss another's touch . . . One night at home after too much wine where me and (my mother in law) began to really talk she told me she understood my situation and . . . she let me talk . . . get it all out . . . and then took me in her arms . . . It happened . . . We have a beautiful relationship . . . She is the lover I need. . . my friend-my family with benefits ? . . . ."

The message was longer and these are excerpts from a military wife whose husband is away several months a year. She shares it was her single again mother in law living with her who guided her into a bisexual relationship which she describes as "saved me" from all the fears she had because she saw herself as the target of men and women around her who, if she gave in to them, would ruin her reputation and her marriage. Of course, there are those who would describe her current arrangement as equally destructive. That isn't true and, according to her, no one knows and, well, it's working out for both of them in ways she says are positive.

When it comes to issues having to do with things sensual, sexual and even spiritual, each of us confront our lusts, desires, needs, issues and our solutions are personal when it comes to each one of us. For this wife who shares her situation, it was surrendering to a feared same sex situation where she now feels safe and sated. Her fears about her mother in law turned out to be unfounded. Certainly the relationship developed into "more" than the traditiional interaction between the two. I won't outline all the issues and "delicious" details other than as I have. i am sharing this with permission to show that sometimes when a wife faces sensual challenges unexpected unique solutions can suddenly emerge. A wife and her mother in law living under the same roof is often angst-filled and such was the way this wife felt in the beginning. In this case "family" provided the remedy?

I know it sounds and is wicked. Listening to her via the written word the old adage "keeping it in the family" comes to mind.

Think about it.

I selected the illustration from online. More can be and could have been shared. However, my article is written to share what occurred, moreso, that it happened . . . I ask myself: Is being bi best?

Hmmmmm........

This article, such as it is, could have been better written.

Ave Obscuratatis Domine.

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