𝑼𝑵𝑨𝑼𝑻𝑯𝑶𝑹𝑰𝒁𝑬𝑫 𝑪𝑯𝑬𝑴𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑹𝒀 ━━ 𝑳𝑬𝑽𝑰 𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑬𝑹𝑴𝑨𝑵 · · ─ ·✶· ─ · · 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑷𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑻𝑯𝑹𝑬𝑬
Summary — Being on the same rank as levi was supposed to be easy. You were the same age, he couldn't boss you around anymore, and you were in just as much control as he was. Levi, however, still always got what he wanted. It didn't matter what he had to do or who he had to speak to. Levi Ackerman always got what he wanted — and this time, he wants you.
Chapters : 3/? (pt 1) (pt2)
CW : canon universe, harsh language, mentions of drugs/drinking, inaccurately aged characters, mentions of sex, mentions of death, non-canon information/events, mentions of violence, eventual explicit sexual content
Authors note: Chapters will probably slow the more we get into the week but i will try to write whenever i can. I'm also starting a tag list so anyone who wants in can be added.
You felt like you could barely see the ground in front of you as your horse took off through the field. You didn't know if the sun was actually bright enough to cause a problem or if it was because you woke up late and your eyes wouldn't adjust.
The more time you spent one on one with Levi, the harder it was to sleep. He stressed you out. Being around him felt like permanent judgement and it didn't help that he decided to go with your plan. If anything went wrong today, it would be your fault.
You knew that was something he wouldn't let you get past. Every mistake you make, every move that's wrong, and every single thing you do will lead back to him lecturing you. You could be ranks above him and he would probably still lecture you.
A smoke signal fired to your right, signaling a titan. You saw the puff of smoke go in the air, grabbing one of your own flares to shoot off the same signal. Red flares shot up all around you before green ones started going off to your left.
You and the people around you started easing left to reform in that direction. You hadn't seen any titans so far. All you had seen were smoke signals, but it didn't shock you since you were located in the center rear. Most of the titans were covered by the front and sides.
Your team rode all around you , leaving you in the center of your small pod of people. Levi was next to you, leading the group just as much as you were.
He glared over at you the second he felt your eyes flick to him. Blank faced, he nodded his head back to the grass in front of you before pushing forward on his horse. The rest of your group followed his actions, attempting to catch up to be in correct formation with the other squads. A black puff of smoke shot up toward your left. An abnormal.
You watched a titans head rise over a small line of trees before falling down to its knees, seemingly having its ankles sliced. Your shoulders relaxed and you continued forth when you saw it raise back up with a soldier in hand, small bursts of blood shooting every way as his skull crunched beneath the monsters teeth.
You widened your eyes, mouth opening slightly as more black puffs of smoke rose up into the blue sky. A person shot across the span of sky, slicing a clean cut through the back of its neck and it fell.
Levi held his firm expression, "Focus," he said loud enough to hear over the sound of the horses galloping, "They have it handled."
You knew the comment was directed to your group, but you couldn't shake the feeling it was targeted toward you specifically. You were a captain, and technically, his second in command. You needed to focus and not distract yourself on distant threats.
You nodded, and the rest of your team shouted, "Yes, captain!" It was hard to hear over the constant pounding of the horses hooves, but it was clear enough for him to direct his focus back to clearing the field. The trees weren't far from where the formation currently was, and if this success was kept up, you'd be home a lot quicker than expected.
The ground felt like it started shaking more than usual, and not because you were on horseback. A titan was approaching from your right toward your rear. You turned back toward Levi, "Captain!" You shouted until he turned.
His expression was immediately annoyed and he pushed on toward your destination, "How did those idiots on the right rear miss that?" He questioned, turning his head to the side so everyone could hear, "Speed up! We'll handle the son of a bitch when it gets here."
You fumbled for a smoke signal, shooting a bright streak of red into the air and watching as nearby soldiers mirrored your actions. Since it was the center, there wasn't many places to move left or right that wouldn't end up with all soldiers out of formation.
No green flares were shot. You kept pushing forward as Levi told you to, turning back occasionally to gauge how close the titan was to your group. As it approached, Levi shot off of his horse and toward the titan. Your eyes followed him, confused. He usually didn't do stunts like that without informing the squads, but as expected, he was back within a minute and the titan was on the ground with blood flowing out of its neck.
"What was that?" You demanded as he returned to his horse and he cinched his eyebrows together, "You did that with no warning. You can't just shoot off and expect us to know what to do!"
Levi just huffed, "I handled it."
"None of us knew what you were doing."
You just clenched your jaw and looked ahead as the trees started to get closer. You could see the groups to your sides start splitting to go around since there was no trail for their squads. Your group, however, went straight into the trees.
You forgot how large this forest was. Not necessarily the size of the area itself, but the height of the titan trees. You hadn't done a recon mission into any forests in a long time. The shade provided from them would've been peaceful if you weren't aware of how many titans could be hidden behind the giant pillars of wood.
Everything felt eerily quiet as you entered, which you figured to be due to the scenery change, even though just as many people were around you. Above you, some soldiers had been switched to ODM gear as they were instructed. You hoped this plan would go well. You didn't know how you'd be able to face Levi if anything went wrong while using your plan.
Why were you worried about Levi? If anything, you should be worried about Erwin. He is your commander, after all. Levi was a captain, practically your equal, but you still yearned for his approval. You didn't know why. You argued with him regularly, getting into meaningless fights just because he was too closed off and sarcastic.
No matter how irritated his personality made you, you'd always wanted his attention. You just wanted him to approve of you. He'd always been the soldier to look up to. Even being on his level, you still felt so far behind him. The closer you got to his rank, the more irritable it seemed he became. He was quicker to scold you and glare at you, forcing you to sink back into a shell you'd forced yourself to come out of.
It got to a point where you'd just started talking back, and that was what always got you in trouble. He never really yelled at you for how you spoke to him, but simply went back and forth until he won. You'd almost think he enjoys it if he weren't so grumpy all the time.
The forest was quiet for most of the ride through, but about 3/4 of the way, a titan slumped through the trees and toward your side of the squad. Looking up, you saw no soldiers directly above you on ODM gear. They were all behind you or way in front of you.
You snapped your head toward Levi, "I got it." Nobody had a chance to respond before you shot up into the trees, landing on a high branch before dropping down toward the 5 meter. It looked up suddenly and shot its hand out toward you, but you started to maneuverer to the side and out of its line of sight.
Before you could completely move, you heard another zip and the titans entire hand was gone. It didn't take long before Levi was beside you. He didn't say anything until he landed on a branch next to you.
"You were gonna get yourself killed." He stated flatly, flipping his blade back to the correct hold.
You watched the movement of his wrists. He always held his blade backward when using it. It was so strange. You didn't even respond before hooking onto a tree above the titan, wire snapping straight before you swung down and put a gash in its neck.
The thud of its body was loud and satisfying. A tree nearby made the perfect landing as you located Levi, who was still on the last branch. Shooting another wire, you landed next to him, "I had it under control on my own."
"Did you? Looked like a fly buzzing around ready to get swatted from where i was sitting." His voice was clearly one of annoyance. He'd already put away his blades, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I was getting out of the way. It missed me and then you cut its hand off!" You exclaimed, "You- I just-"
He stared at you distastefully. You breathed out deeply, "I killed it."
"You did." He admitted and your eyes widened. You weren't used to him saying you did anything well or even getting any comment that wasn't negative. He saw the look on your face and glanced toward the rest of the squad, moving ahead safely.
Your horses were both in the hands of Eld and Petra. Levi huffed, "Get that dumb look off of your face. Be grateful you're not dead."
"I wasn't gonna die!" You stressed, but only half the sentence met his ears as he moved through the trees and back toward your horses. You took a deep breath, relaxing your shoulders.
"I'm not gonna kill him. I'm not gonna kill him." You repeated to yourself like a mantra, trying to move your irritation aside and focus on the mission. He looked behind him as he settled back onto his horse. You were still in the trees.
Levi took your horses reins from Petra and held it up. It was a request to come back into formation. The gesture was more of a command but it was easier to convince yourself that he wasn't demanding you do anything.
In a few seconds, you were back on your horse. Levi just sighed, "Took you long enough. I was waiting for a titan to snatch you out of that tree." He handed the reins back to you.
You snatched them back, readjusting the hold on them in your hands, "You're so funny, Levi."
Levi's eyebrows raised after you said his name, used to you calling him 'captain.' Whatever he was thinking, he didn't speak on it for once and just turned back forward, "I'm serious. You're gonna get yourself killed by being an idiot one day. Then i have to find someone to replace you with."
"I love how much you talk about my death. It really makes me feel valued as a person." You said firmly, ignoring the stares you could feel from the rest of your squad. Levi didn't answer, riding along the trail in his usual silence.
You sighed, "Would it kill you to just be nice to me for once?" You weren't frustrated now, voice raised and directed at Levi.
"Probably," He grumbled, "What might really kill me is you being so distracted. Get it together."
As much as you hated it, you knew he was right. You were overreacting and unfocused on the task at hand. If you didn't get your head in the game, there would likely be consequences for everyone.
"Whatever." You grunted, pushing forward into the forest. Part of you hoped that another titan would emerge from the thick trees and try to grab you. At least then you could direct your anger onto that instead of killing Levi.
Fortunately for everyone, no more titans busted out of the dense woods and into your group.
Unfortunately for you, your frustration wasn't able to be deflected onto a titan. This meant that every time Levi spoke, you were nothing less than infuriated.
Every time your thoughts drifted, he called you back with, "Stop being an idiot and focus!" or, "If something runs up onto us and tries to eat everyone, you're going to die."
It was a miracle you made it back to the castle the scout regiment operated out of without attempting to hurt Levi in some way. You were already angry, but the way he looked so unbothered just made you want to pound a fist into his head even more.
The second everyone's horses were back at the stables, he stormed over to you and practically demanded that you come with him.
Whatever it was for, you just hoped it would make you want to punch him less. However, you knew Levi. You knew that it was likely going to be a lecture about something.
You followed after him and into the place you had found yourself more and more over the past weeks. That place happened to be where Levi was most— his office.
Levi pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned back against the hard surface of his desk, "Do you just want to die, brat?"
You blinked rapidly, staring at him as he sighed, "I'm starting to think you just have a plan to die out there by being an idiot. Honestly, I don't feel like putting in the effort it would take to bury you. If we had a body left, that is." He said, bringing his hand back down to grip the edge of his desk.
There goes any hope you had that he actually liked you.
You clenched your fists, attempting to keep a straight face, "Okay, yeah, i get it. I keep getting distracted and you don't care enough about me to give me a funeral. Whatever." You took a deep breath.
Levi's eyes shot up to meet yours, the room going uncharacteristically silent for the both of you.
You had no idea what he was talking about. Cared about you? Doesn't he insult you all the time? He's always been way easier on everyone else, including people he actually does hate.
He huffed, "I don't want you to die because i don't want to bury you. There's no way you're this dense. I'm starting to think you're just stupid." He said plainly but you just tilted your head in pure confusion.
"Starting?" You questioned, "You've been calling me stupid since the day you met me." You were unsure on what to say about him telling you he cares.
Levi wasn't a liar. He was being genuine, but it was just confusing. What were you supposed to do? Tell him his feelings were wrong?
His expression didn't change, "Then it looks like neither of us have changed much," His eyes trailed back to the dirt on his boots, "Are you gonna answer my question or are we gonna stand here in silence?"
Your eyes widened slightly. Right, the question...
"What question?" You asked quietly.
Levi sighed once again. When would he stop doing that? He tapped a finger on the wood of his desk, "Do you want to die out there?"
Taken aback, you uncrossed your arms, "No? You were just irritating me."
"I don't need you to protect me, Levi!"
Levi ran a hand down his face, "If i didn't protect you, you'd be dead right now." He dragged his hand down to his face before slapping it back against the desk.
You shook your head slightly, "That isn't true and you know it."
"It isn't?" He snapped, "What about when a titan grabbed your wire and you only didn't hit the ground because i caught you? What about when a titan almost grabbed you but didn't because i cut its hand off? Even today, that bastard would've at least sent you off balance."
You clenched your jaw, "i would've been fine." You forced out.
"No. I'd be standing in front of your grave right now." He snapped again. You could tell he was frustrated, and rightfully so. You were being difficult and you knew it, but he was being difficult, too.
You rolled your eyes, "Like you'd visit my grave." You watched as he shut his eyes, breathing deeply out of his nose.
"For once in your life, could you just not be difficult? Is it impossible for you to have a conversation with me without accusing me of hating you or being irritated?" His hands gripped the edge of the desk, fingers not tapping anymore.
You started rocking back and forth on your heels, "Fine. Say whatever you need to say. I'll shut up." Your hands were behind your back, holding onto each other.
Levi took another deep breath, "You need to be more careful or you're really going to die out there one day and i really want you alive."
You paused. His tone was normal, but his wording was what you needed to pay attention to. He said want instead of need. He wants you alive.
He shook his head slowly, the movement so minuscule it was almost unnoticeable, "I trained you better than this for a reason. I'm not watching you die out there." He wasn't looking at you, eyes fixed on his shoes.
You stayed quiet, as promised, while he continued, "I've spent way too much time wondering if you're ever going to come back from some of the missions we go on. I taught you better than this so you won't die on me. I need you to be the best of the best and if you keep letting your emotions mess with you, you'll end up just like one of the other brats who I have to mourn every day."
Your eyes were wide, body tensed as you stared at him. What was he saying? He actually cared? At this point, you weren't even angry anymore, just confused.
You opened your mouth to start asking questions but he cut you off, "Dismissed. Don't be an idiot," He said sharply, turning toward his desk chair, "Are you going deaf now too? I said you're dismissed."
All you did was shut your mouth and open the door to his office, "Yes, Captain." Those words were the last things you mumbled before stepping into the empty hallway.
Confusion clouded over the previous irritation. You didn't know what to do anymore. He clearly doesn't hate you, so what does he feel? He just admitting to caring more than he ever let on.
A lot of things were unusual about his behavior recently, but that one easily took the cake. Your footsteps echoed down the hallway, and you went straight for the showers, determined to wash away the filth of the day.
Standing under the water didn't help. All it did was give you silence to think about Levi's words.
'I don't want you to die because i don't want to bury you.'
'i really want you alive.'
'I taught you better than this so you won't die on me.'
'you'll end up just like one of the other brats who I have to mourn every day.'
All of his confusing sentences echoed in your head. Did he care that much? Were you overthinking it? Maybe you should just stop talking to him in general.
You shut off the water and stepped out, getting dressed and heading back to your room.
Dinner came and went in short time. While Hange attempted to get you to talk, they made no progress. You still spoke, but were just quieter than usual. It worried them.
What especially worried them was how you went completely stiff when Levi passed your table.
Hange nudged you with their elbow, "Hey, what's wrong?" They asked, concern lacing their voice as you picked off of a piece of bread.
You tilted your head toward them, "Nothing. I'm just not in the mood. Got into another argument."
"Levi?" They guessed and you just nodded, "Again? When are you two gonna shut up and just get along! You two would be great together!"
You glared at them, "I don't like the way you worded that."
They raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?" When you didn't answer, they pestered you non stop until you stood up, "Come on. Did something happen?" They questioned.
You walked off, not looking back. You would talk to Hange, but not about this.
After throwing away your trash, you dragged yourself back to your room, throwing yourself into bed and attempting to go to sleep.
The sun dipped below the trees and you were still wide awake, staring at nothing in the dark. It was useless, now. Your sleep was already bad and about to be worse.
You flipped back the covers, sliding on shoes and stepping out of your room. You made your way to the front of the castle, sitting on the steps as you watched the trees blow in the breeze.
"What are you doing, brat?"
You almost jumped out of your skin at the unexpected, sharp voice from behind you. However, you didn't turn around. You already knew who it was, "Sitting."
Levi's boots clicked against the stone as he approached, moving to stand at your side, "Get back inside. It's cold out. I'll kill you myself if you get sick."
You rolled your eyes again, bringing your knees up to your chest, "You're so dramatic. I'm fine. You should be the one all tucked into bed. What are you doing out here, anyway?"
He crossed his arms, as expected, "That's none of your business."
"But what i'm doing is?" You questioned.
"It should be." He responded quickly.
You groaned, resting your chin on top of your knees. The two of you sat in silence on the steps for a few minutes, "I was looking for you." Levi said out of nowhere.
You picked up your head to look at him immediately, "What?"
"You heard me." He shot back for seemingly no reason, sitting down next to you on the steps.
"I know that. I meant why? Why were you looking for me?" Your voice was softer than it usually was toward him.
He tilted his head back to look at the sky, "Hange said something was absolutely wrong with you and that i needed to come find you."
Your hope vanished again, "So you went looking for me because Hange told you to. Great." You murmured, chin resting back on your knees.
"That's not what i meant," he sucked in a breath, releasing it slowly, "I didn't realize i said something that bothered you enough for you to stop talking to Hange."
You moved your eyes over to him. He was still looking up at the stars, "You say that like you're gonna apologize."
"I'm thinking about it," He admitted, "Didn't think you'd get this upset over me telling you i want you not to die."
You put your face in your hands, "You're reading this all wrong. I'm upset because you're confusing me."
Levi moved his gaze back down to you, blinking slowly, "How?" he asked with genuine curiosity.
"Is that a serious question?" You removed your hands from your face, turning toward him quickly, "You're hard on me. You yell at me, You criticize me. You make me feel incapable. Then you say you protect me and you care about me and don't want to have to mourn me. I'm really confused!" You finally shouted.
Levi stayed quiet for a moment, "I'm hard on you because I need you to be the best. I'm not letting you die right in front of me because i didn't train you good enough."
He looked back at the short span of steps in front of him, "I don't think that's something you're ready to hear yet," He stood, going up a few steps, "I'm serious. Go to sleep soon. Be smart."
Levi walked a few more paces, then added, "Please." to his sentences. His voice wasn't soft or harsh. It was just a request for you to come inside.
You sat on the porch for another half hour before you finally brought yourself back to your room.
Sleep came easier that time.
@jinxedconsciousness @nanaminsmuse
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ellievsbear
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