Don’t. It won’t be worth it. Think about all of the people who love you, and the people you’re going to meet which will going to love you. Suicide only takes away the chance of things getting better. It won’t solve anything. It will give the pain to someone else. You still have time to change the roads you’re on, and you already came too far to give up now. Maybe you already went through the worst, maybe the worst is yet to come, but you are strong enough to get through whatever is comming your way. Because God gave his hardest fights to his strongest soldiers. Have faith in yourself, and you are worth it because, who’s not ? Whatever people have put you through, it wasn’t your fault, and are those people realy worth it to take away your life ? To take away your dreams? No angel, it isn’t. So put away the pen which you’re writing your suicide notes with, and keep going for today, tomorrow you’ll see. Talk to someone about this, don’t be ashamed. If people call you a attention seeker or stuff, they’re not real friends or a good family, but I bet good people will come your way then. I’ll promise it will be worth the wait. Keep going, and stay strong. You can do this. Hope.
I know it’s hard to believe, but you arn’t fat. You arn’t as fat as how you see yourself. And even if you are some bigger, so what? How bigger you are how much more there is to love. The eating disorder is a lie, and it’s time to get angry at the eating disoder. You might have fat, but you arn’t fat. You also have finger nails, but you arn’t a finger nail neither. Don’t drink your cup of coffee while trying to decide if you’re going to eat or not. You won’t gain any weight by eating some more than usual. And remember, whenever you throw up, you won’t throw up our food, your pain, or your problems. You only throw up the things that were good for your body. If you won’t eat, you won’t heal like ever. I know it’s hard, but try to disctract yourself while eating, and keep being distracting after. By starving yourself you only feed your demons, and the same is for the bulimic part. Stay strong little fighter, you are beautiful, big or thin.
Put away the blade, the cigarette, or whatever you want to hurt yourself with. Another scar, or another burn, or another bruise won’t fix a thing. Not for a life time at least. I understand you need to feel pain, or you need to feel at least something, but after you did it again it will only be worse. Compare it with alcohol, you drink away the pain, but when you’re sober again things didn’t change, not even a bit. It might even became worse. And that realy isn’t worth it right ? And you know what else isn’t worth it ? The reason or the people who make you want to harm yourself. You are stronger than these people or reasons. Make sure you (also) live for the moment in which you can say: I used to cut myself. You will get through this, just hold on. The urge to harm yourself will go away. It might is a real hard struggle, and distraction won’t always help, but try to hold on. This feeling will go away. You can do this, and you will feel better if you won’t do it. Be strong little fighter, just for 1 moment more.
Borderline Personality Disorder;
This disorder is killing, I can know. But always remember, you are real, this isn’t fake. You are realy reading this, alive. This isn’t a dream. Borderline thoughts arn’t realistic, your favorite person doesn’t hate you because they reply with 1 word. Your favorite person won’t leave you because he/she talked with another person. You are also their friend, and it’s ok if they hang out with their other friends. They won’t forget you. You do exist, and you are important, and for sure good enough. If you feel like a panick attack is comming up, search in your room for objects which by example, you can smell, or eat. You are beautiful whenever you believe you are, and you are beautiful the next second when you hate yourself. If you’re feeling horrible, remember borderline also has his ‘good’ sides. We are very creative, we have good humor, we are such nice people to always help others. The moodswings are killing, but whenever you have a moodswing to feeling very, intense happy, enjoy this. If you want to dance, do it. You want to scream from the happy feeling, do it. You want to do something nice, do it. Try to enjoy the happy moodswings. - Be calm before you react on something, we can be very impulsive with reacting on things. First calm yourself, before you react because you might fill in thoughts for someone else, which are often not true. Stay strong dear, one day you will have borderline, instead of borderline having you.
I am sorry this happened to you. And I am sorry if you wasn’t taken sirious. I am sorry if nobody believed you. It wasn’t your fault at all hun, no matter if you said nothing. No is no, and being quiet still isn’t a comfirmation that you actually want it. You arn’t a slut. Don’t feel ashamed by undressing yourself, because your body is beautiful. Your body is still yours, it never was somebody else’s, and it never will be. Even when it feels like that. Don’t blame yourself for this, nobody ask for this. It wasn’t your fault, not even when your friends or family told you it was. It’s only your fault when you was the only who abused a girl or a boy. You might won’t feel save, and you might feel dirty, but take care of yourself. Ask for help. This is nothing to be ashamed of lovely. The one who did this to you should shame his/herself. If it’s hard for you when your current partner thouches you, tell him or her. Explain them why this is a thing for you. Make appointments with them. It realy wasn’t your fault honey, don’t blame the victim. You are already a surviver, and you’ll make it through.
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