This post is almost 11 years old now, so I feel like it’s time for an update:
Misplaced Lens Cap
Today's Document

#extradirty
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$LAYYYTER

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we're not kids anymore.
noise dept.
Cosimo Galluzzi

⁂

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

pixel skylines

Discoholic 🪩
wallacepolsom
Three Goblin Art
todays bird
Claire Keane
Cosmic Funnies

Kaledo Art

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seen from United States

seen from Venezuela
seen from Belgium
seen from United States
seen from China

seen from Spain

seen from United States

seen from Germany
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seen from United States

seen from Canada

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@corn-punk
This post is almost 11 years old now, so I feel like it’s time for an update:
REMEDIOS VARO (1908-1963) Energía cósmica (Inspiración) signed 'R. Varo' (lower right) gouache on board 12 3⁄8 x 12 1⁄8 in. (31.4 x 30.8 cm.) Painted in 1956
I'm gonna say something incredibly 30-year-old and I'm going to ask you to not judge me while I'm trying to be genuine and real. Okay? Here's my truth.
A piece of lettuce can really elevate a sandwich. The fresh crunch? Unrivaled. Peak. Poetic cinema.
WHISPER OF THE HEART 耳をすませば 1995, dir. Yoshifumi Kondō
Impeccable music choice here:
On the American broadcast, about five seconds after the music started the announcer said about the woman, “she lists her hobbies as ‘forgetting things’ and ‘existential crises’”, and I can’t imagine a more delightful one-two punch
I’m a social vampire u gotta invite me into ur conversation or I cannot enter
do you ever laugh nervously to keep yourself from screaming
Jenny Lake Grand Teton National Park
@killmesoslow
"The hearts of men are easily corrupted." Wake Up Dead Man (2025) & Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Bonus for @mykingdomforasong:
As a LOTR nerd, it was so funny
I HAVE WAITED ALL YEAR TO POST THIS
How it feels to ask a friend to do an activity with you even though you Know both of you will enjoy it and they've never been mean about doing it with you before and you'll both have a great time
doesn't it piss you off that you have to find something to eat every single day. every one of them. just every day. you gotta eat something
adulthood is just a constant struggle of, “man, i want cookies for breakfast, but I also recognize this is a bad nutritional decision. On the other hand, the only one who can stop me is me. i know that fucker’s weaknesses. i could totally take me in a fight.”
frog and toad are my two remaining brain cells struggling to keep my horrible body alive
plane tickets should be Free if you miss yuor friends
One of the big things I struggle with functions-wise is getting stuck in what I call optimization loops. Where there's several tasks that need doing, and some would be optimized by having another task done first, but it can't be shaken out into a clear executable task list.
Simple example: I need to shower, eat food, and go to grocery store. I'm hungry and don't have energy to cook, so the easiest food option would be to get a deli item at the grocery store. But I want to shower before leaving the house. But I don't have energy to shower without eating first.
It feels very silly to get stuck on such a minor dilemma for as long as I have! But there are times I've spent hours looping through this list, trying and failing to start it anywhere. And the only way out, I find, is to manually override it: to catch it happening and say, fuck it! I can go to the grocery store stinky! It's fine!!
It could be considered a subset of perfectionism, because the override very much involves hitting yourself with the idea that it's ok to do things suboptimally. But it feels like it comes from a slightly different place. As someone who struggles with executive function, I get myself through a lot of tasks by trying to optimize to the smoothest, lowest-friction way through. The task order that minimizes having to do any step more than once, or having to remember too many things at a time. If I can arrange my tasks just right, sometimes I can get one task to cover part of the work of doing another! And if I can put my tasks in an order that feels natural and ideal, I can lower the energy of activation it takes to get moving. And, sometimes, avoid the choice paralysis of not being able to pick a task out of a list of equal priority.
Except that, obviously, sometimes the optimization process throws up glitches of its own. There's the closed loop I described, and there's also another catching point where a task I have the mental energy and wherewithal to do gets stuck behind a task that's too big/intimidating/difficult to tackle. For example: I just sent some emails I've been procrastinating on for over a month, because I need to set up a new email address, and I was telling myself it'd be better to get that set up before I contacted people, because it would save me the hassle of dragging a bunch of conversations over to a new account when I did get it set up. I still haven't made the other email! But I realized that hypothetical future hassle was not worth the delay of not sending those emails for as long as it's going to take to actually get my brain together to figure out a new email service.
Surprisingly, doing something like this often actually makes the difficult task I was stuck on easier! Another thing I struggle with is a flinch reaction from tasks that are both pressingly important, and unapproachable to do. The more I need to do a task immediately, the more stressed and overwhelmed and self-recriminating I get about the fact that I don't know how to even start doing it. It gets so bad I can't even think about it directly - I think about the general shape of it, flinch, and divert my attention so I don't panic.
And when I've got a minor, pressing task stuck behind a big nebulous scary task, it presses the unapproachable task forward, makes it urgent, and that makes it harder to figure out how to do. If I can get around it, and do the actually pressing task in some contrived way that pushes some miscellaneous messy consequences forward, it takes pressure off the big task. And then I can actually think about it, without panicking, which makes it possible to actually work on doing it.
That last point also often applies to asking for help. I have a weird hangup here: I find it excruciatingly difficult to ask for help if I haven't at least *started* the thing I need help with. Which gets into the same dynamic: I have a big unsorted task I can't think about directly without panicking, or the path of steps to doing it that I've managed to figure out starts with one I can't make myself tackle, so I'm stuck doing nothing with no way in. Asking for help means admitting to someone that there is going to be mess, that I can't tackle the problem in the optimal front-to-back way so there's going to be inconvenient problems generated in some of the steps that will have to be dealt with at other steps, and some of that inconvenience might be to people other than me!! But just managing to say this, to admit this upfront, is sometimes enough to cut the gordion knot of not being able to start anywhere.
So, ok, it is a little bit about perfectionism. But perfectionism that comes from a slightly sideways place: the desperation to avoid creating problems in the future, to the point where instead you create problems now.
hope this is okay to reblog - those optimization loops are absolutely my most disabling exec dysfn issue, too, and i often have to remind myself of this comic--ESPECIALLY "get rid of secret rules." that's been the most helpful piece of advice for me, personally, largely because it puts into words even the idea that there might be secret rules i don't even notice i'm following. now that it's something i even think to check with myself, it has become so so so much easier to realize that i can just Stop Doing That.
This is me in excruciating detail. Something I've found that helps with the first part--the low energy need food too hungry to make food--can't take my meds till I have food--can't do literally anything else till I take my meds--is to keep very easy snacks on a high shelf. Something that isn't super enticing so I won't mindlessly finish them off, and kept out of the way--so I won't mindlessly finish them off anyway. Recently it's been a big box of chewy granola bars. A couple of those gets me past the "so hungry I hate the thought of food" feeling so that I have something on my stomach to take my meds, and then when the meds kick in I can get day started to whatever extent I can. It's up to the meds whether I end up actually eating a real meal though lol. Sometimes my partner has to be like "have you eaten today? here eat this." because I just plain forget.
the solution to everything is one more cup of coffee