[corpscwitch]

   .  .  .    IT’S   HARD   TO   MOVE   ON  FROM  YOUR  PAST

        #𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐒𝐂𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇 .    an  indie,   king  of  scars  based  NINA  ZENIK .  

        written  by  rooney,   established  2020.    highly  selective  +  low  activity  

𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙡𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙤𝙛  :    grief and mourning,  the link between love and pain,  the transience between life and death,  addiction and overcoming,  desire and fear,  the forever soldier

                                                                 .  .  .    WHEN  YOU  MISS  IT 

[corpscwitch]

I hate to be controversial on main but the grisha show casting for Nina still rly annoys me

[corpscwitch]

Sorry to LB but she was so wrong about the dregs heights. There is NO way Nina is shorter than Kaz. Sorry but Nina has tall girl energy and Kaz has short king scrappy energy. Kaz is taller than Inej but only because she’s tiny. Nina’s very imposing and tall, it’s just that she’s shorter than jesper and matthias bc they are freak tall. I’ll die on this hill

[blond-shell]

GET TO KNOW ME MEME ♡ actresses → BARBIE FERREIRA

“When I was younger and really interested in acting, I would look at all the women on TV, and even the ones who were supposed to be ‘geeks’ or ‘less attractive,’ they all looked similar because they were extremely attractive and their bodies were all a certain way.”

[corpscwitch]

I also feel like my Nina is like partially canon and then partially not because it’s me reaching and contorting her into whatever I find interesting (like the idea of her being deity adjacent / otherworldly and off putting / a soldier and a martyr / monstrous feminine / monster girl ect ect) so probably I should just try to write her verses and bio out more and write more AU stuff

[corpscwitch]

I feel like because I only log on once a month I don’t and will never have like… consistent writing partners/threads but that’s okay ksnsbsjsjs

[calanthesfeuillemort]

Halloween Alphabet: T, crooked trees

[geniusoflove]

ya i can be your housewifey *burns the hellofresh meal i was making bc i was looking at my own ass for 5 minutes

[existential-celestial]

Jude Duarte in The Cruel Prince by Holly Black

[corpscwitch]

All I remember about my modern verse is Nina was an up and coming actress and she disappeared from the spotlight to deal with her addiction and matthias was her ‘rival’ actor who she starred alongside in a romance but actually hated until she didn’t and then he died in a car crash I should bring it back

[corpscwitch]

Jesper calling Nina ‘love’ 💘💕💞💖💓💕❤️💕🤍💕💛💕💚💘💙❣️

[corpscwitch]

Grisha verse peaked when zoya went to rescue Nina and killed all the druskelle and then without even having to be told Nina immediately raised their corpses so they would protect zoya from the attack coming from behind

[corpscwitch]

Imagine if I could draw. If I could draw I would draw Nina standing in front of the corpse women she raised from the Ash Tree with Trassel next to her how Neat

[corpscwitch]

anyways goodnight  <333

[corpscwitch]

@fireboltz​​  sent   .  .   .    ‘  i  did  violence  to  my  own  heart .  ’

THE  ORGAN   SHE  KNEW   SO  WELL    ,       SHROUDED  SO  OFTEN  STILL  IN  MYSTERY      .           the  mechanics  she  knew  so  well  ,     (   BLOOD  BEATING  ,   VENTRICLE,   ATRIUM,   ARTERIES  AND  VALVES   .    )        but  the  inner  workings  she  did  not  .      even  with  her  years  of  study ,    she  did  not  understand  how  it  fluttered,  how  it  ached  .     she’d  felt  blood  speed  through  the  atrium,   knew  how  it  pumped  faster,   but  she  did  not  so  easily  decipher  the  meaning  of  that .   THE  MECHANICS  ,    THE  FEELINGS  -   not  so  easily  married  .  

❝      and   how  did  you  do   that      -       ❞        she  knows  what  they  think  of  her  ,     that  she  can  heal  all  hurts  of  the  heart  .     if  that  were  true,   she  would  not  ache  so  much  .      but  she  plays  the  role  anyway  ,     for  now  it’s  the  only  one  she  has   .           ❝    accidental  ,    deliberate   ?    -    or  was  it  done  to  you    ❞      this  they  sometimes  did  not  want  to  admit  ,      AS  IF  ONLY  VIOLENCE  WAS  DONE  TO  THE  SELF  .     as  if  it  wasn’t  sometimes  borne  out  of  love ,   loss  ,   pain ,    first .        

❝    I   want  to  help     ❞      she   may   not  be  able  to  cure  all  ills  ,      but  sometimes  she  meets  someone  that  makes  her  want  to  try .      a  case  that  just  feels  right  .   a  certain  pattern  of  the  heartbeat ,    a  certain  glint  in  the  eye  that  speaks  to  her  .      SHE’D  NEVER  LEARN  THAT  SHE  COULDN’T  SAVE  EVERYONE .         ❝    but   you’ll   have  to  tell  me  everything  that   happened .     it’s  the  only  place  to  start     ❞ 

[corpscwitch]

while we are here .  some things I find interesting about each crows dynamic with nina that I think is generally underexplored

inej . . .  that she see’s nina and what nina can do,  as a grisha,  to be somewhat holy.  and in their relationship,  thee is a sanctification of nina that begins to dissolve as she is humanised .  inej instead recognises all the ways it’s how incredibly human nina is,  that make her strong .     also,  nina’s blind worship of ravka  &  inej’s  disdain  for  how  it  treated  suli 

jesper . . .  they are both grisha who cannot really relate on this level at all .   nina is so militant and nationalistic,  the exact type of grisha jesper’s family feared and wanted to avoid .   jesper being grisha does not help nina solidify their relationship in the way she originally considered she may be able to .  nina thinks she will be able to change his mind about grisha,  but instead the way he chooses to live forces her to reconsider HER life instead

wylan . . .  the  fact  that  she  underestimates  him,   and  how  this  contrasts  with  her  perceptions  of  kuwei,  and  how  it  says  so  much  about  nina.  in  that  strength  is  a  very  rigid  and  defined  thing  to  her  -  power,  influence,  physical  abilities .     she  doesn’t  understand  wylan.   but  how  she  eventually  comes  to  view  his  abilities  -  his  loyalty,  patience,  strength  in  character  to  be  incredibly  admirable  &   something  she  feels  she  lacks .  

kuwei . . .   the quick friendship that forms between them,  and how nina see’s him as a personification of hope .   nina’s desperation,  singular amongst the crows really,  to get him to ravka and protect him .    she identifies with him,   it’s significant she is LITERALLY the only one who can communicate with him .    nina  see’s  herself  as  a  lost  girl  made  strong  by  the  grisha,   but  marred  by  war .   kuwei  she  hopes  will  be  made  strong  too,   but  have  a  smoother  experience .   she’s  trying  to  be  for  him,  what  zoya  was  for  her .  

kaz . . .  they’re  both  orphans  whose  single-minded  dedication  to  one  thing  crafted  them  into  what  they  are .    they’re  cast  as  opposites  but  are  actually  very  similar .   they  forced  themselves  to  become  strong  and  to  create  personas  which  got  them  further  in  life .   they  are  both  beholden  to  larger,   social  forces  which  require  them  to  do  what  must  be done  to  survive .  

[corpscwitch]

𝙥𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙡𝙨𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧   .  .  .   jesper  fahey

     HE’S GOOD AT hiding the less fun feelings, is the problem — and nina especially made it easy to hide things behind a laugh, a joke, a sarcastic statement.  he regrets that now.  he wishes … he wishes he’d been just a little more serious with her in the days before parem, wishes they had shared more thoughts openly with each other — if only so that, now, she could set her mind at ease about why he was so concerned.

     he has a horrible, gnawing feeling deep in his soul that she simply didn’t trust that his fear for her health was coming from a good place.  it’s not a feeling he knows how to fight, just yet.

     “ can’t blame a guy for worrying, ”  she could; if he were in her shoes, he’d probably be just as snappy about it.  “ but i can’t blame you for hating it, either.  i swear, i’m not trying to … coddle you, or make every hour revolve around this — i just — ”

     he worries.  grisha weren’t meant to get sick — when they did, it almost always spelled certain doom.  the most unwelcome of thoughts bursts into his mind right at that moment, and try as he might, jesper can’t quite fend off the image of nina in a sick bed, death bed, breath growing fainter with every passing second.  like aditi.  like the other parem victims.

     he blinks hard, and the image is gone.

     “ — just humour me.  i like hearing that you’re feeling better, so if you tell me you’re feeling better, i won’t question it.  and we can bounce off to terrorise the breakfast shops until kaz drags us back in by the ears. ”

❝    it’s    -    nice  you  care    ❞     THOSE  WORDS  feel  pulled  from  her  chest  .    though  why  should  they  ,     why  should  it  not  be  nice  they  care  .      before  ,     she  would  have  loved  it  .     would  have  revelled  in  the  attention,     SEE   !      THEY  CANNOT  FORGET  ABOUT  ME   .        how   joyful  to  be  a  girl  who  matters  .       but  things  changed,    attention  born  of  their  worry  was  not  so  well  received  .    what  a  glaring  reminder  of  her  fragility  ;    they  never  would  have  asked  her  these  things  before ,    because  they  never  worried  about  her  before  .     BACK  THEN  ,    she  could  have  crushed  their  hearts  in  their  chests  .     now  her  words  come  as  a  whisper  .    HOW  CRUEL,    to  be  robbed  of  everything  at  once  .      ❝     but  you  don’t  need  to .   it  feels  worse  than  anything    ❞       THIS  WAS  NOT  TRUE  .     the  nausea  had  been  worse ,    the  hazy  sleeps ,    and  the  desperation  that  clawed  at  her  insides .    but  the  pity  was  bad  too ,      the  way  they  looked  at  her  like  she  was  already  half  dead .       ❝  I’m  feeling  better .     okay  -   not  good,   but  better .    I   wanted   to   die,   I  wanted  it  so  bad  I  -    ❞     she  would  have  done  anything .    had  already  done  the  unforgivable to  matthias  while  looking  for  it .   no  sickness  now  would  ever be  worse  then  that  shame     ❝    just  trust  me ,    this  is  better     ❞ 

MAYBE  THE  HONESTY   WILL  DISTURB  HIM  .     is  that  what  they  wanted  ?   to  see  her  lowly  and  desperate .    it  was  how  she’d  been,   and  that  shame  still  itched .   THE  LACK  OF  CONTROL .    at  least  she  had  that  back  now,   could  say  these  words  not  with  a  shriek  in  her  voice,    hysteria  marring  her  features .    just  with  flat  honesty,   with  eyes  avoiding  his,    but  in  control  anyway .      YES  ,     she  was  better     -      not  well,   but  better  .         (    SHE’D   ASK  TO  DIE  BEFORE  SHE  EVER  HIT  THAT  LOW  AGAIN  )

  ❝  now  are  you  happy  ?   ❞       hands  falling  on  her  hips,    eyebrow  cocked   .     she  cannot  maintain  seriousness  for  long,    but  she  lets  the  attitude  slip  once  more ,    expression  dropping  slightly  as  she  looks  at  him   -    still  she  is  adjusting  to  remembering  he  is  like  her,   grisha .       ❝   I  know  you  wouldn’t  but  . . .   don’t  .    if  you  ever  come  across  it   -   it’s  not  worth  it   ❞     (  THE  FINAL  NAIL  IN  THE  COFFIN  )