opaque

A mystery wrapped in an enigma, squeezed into a skirt that's just a little bit too tight.

[fairystcle]

[cortvs]

xxxryanjaymesxxx‌.

He smiled big, nodding. “That might help, yeah! I’m Ryan. Nice to meet you, Veronica. So exhibitions? Nice! I mean… I an’t really offer you… things… I mean, if you ever wanted to tag along to the porn convention in Las Vegas, you’re welcome too! It’s a lot to handle but it’s fun and also no perv is gonna even look at you with me on your arm.” He winked.

“Nice to meet you too, Ryan,” she chuckled, brown eyes sparkling as she grew more comfortable with the friendly male by the minute. “Thank you for the offer, I’ll keep it in mind! I’ve never been to Las Vegas so why not go big and go to a porn convention if I’m going to go?” Her cheeks were flushed as she gave another laugh. “I’ve actually only been to New York, and I liked it very much.”

[cortvs]

text → olivia hayes

Olivia: see, that's where our opinions differ.

Olivia: i don't think you've been doing this long enough.

Veronica: [...]

Veronica: look can we just talk in person?

Veronica: i've really thought about this and i just want you to hear me out, even only for five minutes.

[cortvs]

rcnegcdes‌.

“Fuck ‘em, then,” Charlie replied gruffly, his own smile soft and hardly noticeable in the dim light the moment he caught side of the upward quirk of Veronica’s lips. He hadn’t expected to make many friends when he’d agreed to begin working for Olivia but he’d found an easy companionship with the woman at his side and he was more than comfortable enough with himself to admit that. He quirked an eyebrow briefly as she continued talking and gestured vaguely to the empty street that stretched out to either side of them, “I can fuck off if you’re not in the mood for company?” He announced quietly, taking another drag of his cigarette to allow her time to answer his question. He enjoyed spending time with her, that was true, but he got into low moods more than enough to know that when someone was more inclined to be alone for at least a night, he was willing to give them that space. “I was trying to get laid, so,” He drawled, a glint of playfulness sparking in his eyes as he spoke; it wasn’t entirely untrue but it left out the fact that he hadn’t really cared if it didn’t happen one way or another. It was just something to do, and he rarely had high expectations when he went out without much of a plan. “Or if you’re ready to go home — I could walk you? You know I don’t mind.” It was an offer he’d made for his friends more times than he could count, really, and even knowing Veronica was perfectly capable of handling herself did little to allow him to curb the desire to ask.

That earned a snicker from the brunette –– she particularly appreciated Charlie’s sometimes brusque manner, being not so timid herself. She didn’t see the use in flowery language rather than just getting to the point, and he certainly had no problem with the latter ( as evidenced by his next inquiry ). “No, don’t,” the Spaniard shook her head, still softly ( tiredly ) smiling. It wasn’t that she wanted to be alone ... on the contrary, she’d come out to the bar that evening just to AVOID it. She wanted to be surrounded by other people, by background noises that were entirely distracting. What she hadn’t wanted was strangers to try to strike up a conversation with her, and thankfully that hadn’t happened, leaving her to drink up and allow the alcohol to work on her. "A noble pursuit,” Veronica acknowledged with amusement glinting in her eyes, though she at least attempted to feign a little sympathy. “Maybe if you’d tried another spot, you would have gotten lucky.” The double meaning of her words suddenly came to her and a grin was already forming on her face, Veronica unable to stop herself, and with a slight laugh she shook her head and rubbed her face. “I’m sorry, that was REALLY not funny ... a few drinks paired with a lack of sleep evidently turns me twelve-year old boy.” But as he asked if she’d like him to walk her home, she found herself sobering up and agreeing, not wanting to lose the company. “I know, and I appreciate that. I think I’m ready to go thought, and I actually wouldn’t mind the company.” Charlie was a good guy, someone who let you know you could count on him, and not once did Veronica take that for granted. She didn’t come by very many people who were similar in that regard, and that was why she’d been glad she’d met him, even if through somewhat unconventional means. 

[kamiusings]

SHORT STORIES, my favorite kind of poetry ( meme ).

SIX WORDS .

❝ i heard you were doing good. ❞ ❝ you don’t grow your horns overnight. ❞ ❝ i promise, it gets better eventually. ❞ ❝ & we never talked after that. ❞ ❝ am i really, truly, that unlovable? ❞ ❝ don’t talk like you’re coming back. ❞ ❝ my most dangerous habit is trusting. ❞ ❝ we’re made of stars & stories. ❞ ❝ you didn’t have to do that. ❞ ❝ everything is poetry when you’re drunk. ❞ ❝ did i mean anything to you? ❞ ❝ real feelings don’t just go away. ❞ ❝ you came & changed the weather. ❞ ❝ when can you just be mine? ❞ ❝ there was no love, only lust. ❞ ❝ darling, stop wishing on dead stars. ❞ ❝ art is another form of screaming. ❞ ❝ silence is the most painful goodbye. ❞ ❝ what the fuck did you do? ❞ ❝ i’m drunk, dizzy & missing you. ❞ ❝ kiss me like you’re losing me. ❞ ❝ i don’t feel like smiling today. ❞ ❝ not all good people are innocent. ❞ ❝ we’re a disaster in the making. ❞ ❝ some things are better left unsaid. ❞ ❝ we really should’ve talked about it. ❞ ❝ i’m so glad i met you. ❞ ❝ i wish i knew you earlier. ❞ ❝ i fucked (pronoun/name) to our song. ❞ ❝ i dreamed of you this night. ❞

TEN WORDS .

❝ you saw the messed up parts of me, & stayed. ❞ ❝ all i’ve ever wanted was for someone to save me. ❞ ❝ since you left, i have no one to talk to. ❞ ❝ i apologize for the nights in which i cannot breathe. ❞ ❝ everytime i look at you, i want to kiss you. ❞ ❝ we said no strings attached but now we’re in knots. ❞ ❝ there’s a difference between missing someone & missing having someone. ❞ ❝ for which f are you drinking? fuck, forget, or fun? ❞ ❝ my biggest mistake was thinking i could live without (pronoun/name). ❞ ❝ whenever (name/pronoun) rose to kiss me, i fell even more. ❞ ❝ i wish that ‘goodnight’ was followed by ‘i love you’. ❞ ❝ let’s smoke a pack of mentholds & talk about love. ❞ ❝ your deep, sleepy voice makes me feel like i’m okay. ❞ ❝ i read both of our horoscopes looking for an answer ❞ ❝ reality is the absolute last place i want to be. ❞ ❝ i didn’t expect that drunk kiss could mean this much. ❞ ❝ all i need is a late night drive with you. ❞ ❝ feeling pain is nowhere near as terrifying as feeling nothing. ❞ ❝ your eyes are the color of summer fading into autumn. ❞ ❝ you are the warmest home i will ever, ever find. ❞ ❝ the world is less scary when i am with you. ❞ ❝ i still can’t tell which of us was the victim. ❞ ❝ i just need an excuse to hang out with you. ❞ ❝ your expectations for me have been set way too high. ❞ ❝ i don’t want to feel this way about anyone else. ❞

[ofhotheads-blog]

Send my muse “👀 + a question” and they’ll have to answer with 100% honesty.

[loganoshea]

maggiefowler‌:

ofhotheads‌:

No deleting questions, either!

[alina-aleksanders]

[cortvs]

xxxryanjaymesxxx‌.

He listened to her speak about what she does for a living and was completely captured by how interesting it sounded. He’d always enjoyed history and things like that in school so hearing about someone who studied these things for a living sounded cool. “Wow, that’s amazing. Have you gotten to travel because of your profession?”

“I have,” Veronica said with a enthusiastic smile, recalling some of her trips out of the UK. “The museum will send us to make sure when we loan items they arrive and are unloaded safely, it’s a pretty big deal. I’ve been to Athens, Jordan –– several other places.” She then seemed slightly amused, and decided to let him in on the humor by adding, “I was going to say, if you’d ever like to see an exhibition, I get an employee discount –– but I figure I should at least get your name before I start offering perks.” 

[wordsnquotes]

I had two longings and one was fighting the other. I wanted to be loved and I wanted to be always alone.

Jean Rhys, Wide Sargasso Sea  (via mirroir)

[keenmemes]

change wording as necessary. 

‘ you don’t believe me? ’  ‘ i love you.  you don’t have to say it back.  i just love you. ’  ‘ what was i supposed to say? ’  ‘ you are pathological, you know that? ’  ‘ you break one rule, they all break. ’  ‘ what the hell’s wrong with this town? ’  ‘ believe me, i saved everyone a world of trouble. ’ ‘ hatred is too weak a word. ’  ‘ i didn’t have much choice.  you made that clear. ’ ‘ i wanted you to hear this from me. ’ ‘ i can handle being wrong.  i’ve been wrong before. ’ ‘ it’s more than possible.  it’s a statement of fact. ’ ‘ let’s not say something we’re gonna regret. ’ ‘ you can’t avoid it forever. ’  ‘ would that make you happy? ’  ‘ so… how was your childhood? ’  ‘ i had to show up.  how would it look if i didn’t? ’  ‘ you ever wonder why you’re not invited to more parties? ’  ‘ i can take care of myself, thank you. ’ ‘ where did you end up last night? ’  ‘ it’s more dramatic this way. ’  ‘ don’t say that.  why would you say that? ’  ‘ keep your pants on.  at least until i tell you otherwise. ’ ‘ i get worried when you’re not around. ’ ‘ you did everything you could. ’ ‘ i don’t see it.  maybe i don’t wanna see it, really. ’  ‘ it’s dark out there.  better bring your halo. ’  ‘ we can’t stop now.  we’re in too deep. ’  ‘ that’s just your conscience.  don’t worry, it’ll pass. ’ ‘ how long are you gonna stay mad at me? ’ ‘ haven’t i suffered enough? ’ ‘ that was the meanest thing you’ve ever done to me.  and that’s saying a lot. ’  ‘ they’re just words.  you don’t mean any of it. ’ ‘ or – just thinking out loud here, don’t laugh – you could do the right thing. ’  ‘ i feel something.  it might be pride. ’ ‘ i’m living the dream.  not my dream, some poor shmuck’s dream. ’ 

[wordsnquotes]

I became good at pretending. I became so good that after a while the lines blurred between my truth and fiction. And sometimes, when I did a really good job of pretending, I even fooled myself.

Ruta Sepetys, Salt to the Sea (via wordsnquotes)

[cortvs]

lukegarcix‌.

He was lucky to have found a friend in Veronica, and he was glad that so far he hadn’t managed to fuck this up because he often felt like she was just about the only person in this whole city that got him, and that was a scary thought for a place so big. “Sounds like a plan to me, what do you want to order? I have had such a busy day I swear I could eat just about anything.” There was a good chance once he’d had a drink or two he would also pass out on the couch but he had no doubt that B would be right there next to him to be a mess to. He didn’t even know why the two of them got on so well, sure they had a lot of shit going on but so did a lot of people and they managed to miss it in him, they saw the firefighter hero, the guy that old ladies loved to coo over and the bright eyed male that did school demonstrations, people seemed to miss when he was propped up at a bar stool with none of his shit together - but not Veronica, she saw it all and she let him in anyway, no questions asked they were just there for each other. Returning her kisses gently the male wrapped a loose arm around her shoulder and began to lead her back in the direction of his apartment. “Oh you know the usual, busy day, worked out when I could so I wasn’t bored at the station, tried not to kill the new recruit…the usual shit.” He shrugged a little. “Better now that I’m with you though. Always am.” 

She chuckled at his exaggeration, though her own stomach was rumbling. Sometimes she got so busy at work and so focused on her tasks she tended to forget to eat lunch, and today had been one of those days. “How about Chinese? I could go for some potstickers right now.” She fully expected to end up drunk with Luke, lounging on his sofa and enjoying the brief warmth of someone who cared about her before she had to return to her own empty bed. She’d done it MANY times before and he had yet to turn her away, to her relief. But Veronica had come to figure that he needed it just as much as she did, and she was happy to offer him what comfort and friendship she could give in her own struggling state. The brunette leaned into the firefighter as he put an arm around her, following his lead to his place. "You’re telling me –– we’ve had an influx of interns lately and I’m spending more time making sure they don’t destroy any thousands year old artifacts than anything.” She looked up at him with a little smile at his last words though, eyes full of appreciation. “Me too.” 

[cortvs]

xxxryanjaymesxxx‌.

Ryan smiled. “Yeah, any guy who does that shit deserves to get his balls chopped off by me personally, but hey! That’s my opinion.” He smirked. “So what do you do for a living? It’s gotta be more normal than what I do… I mean… that’s not a hard thing to do, really.”

“Very brutal, but I have to agree, some men could use a little physical pain for all of the physical, emotional, and psychological pain they inflict on women.” She shrugged her shoulders lightly, not easily squeamish over reference to violence. Maybe years ago it would have bothered her, but not anymore. “I’m a museum registrar for the British Museum. I help put together exhibits by managing how the art or artifacts are installed, make sure things are being relocated safely, that kind of stuff. I especially do a lot of work in the Ancient Egypt gallery though, since I minored in Egyptian Art and Archaeology.” She could feel a flare of WARMTH within her at mention of her job –– though she’d changed quite a bit over the past two years and had struggled to find enjoyment in certain things anymore, one thing that a passion always remained for was her job and her love of history. And it was one reminder she had left of her father and thus she cherished it deeply. 

[cortvs]

lukegarcix‌.

“I’m sorry your pretty eyes had  to see that, we can find you some puppies to look at or something to fix what you saw.” Luke chuckled softly as he looked down at his friend. He didn’t understand what went through peoples minds sometimes, he was a mess 23 hours a day but even he managed not to just whip his junk out in public. “I will distract you don’t worry, I just finished my shift so I’m all yours for the rest of the night.” 

“Mm ... how about we go to your place, pop open a bottle of whatever liquor you’ve got and order food?” She wasn’t working tonight, no deals to complete on her end, and she really needed a night in –– with someone else, of course. And she was comfortable with Luke, who had become a very close friend and someone she felt a little less alone with. Night-ins alone were torture for Veronica because the loneliness was suffocating, and all she could think about was her parents and sometimes she began to have an identity crisis over the fact that she was somehow two very different people in one body. It was HARD to tell anybody how she suffered –– people would think it was ridiculous that she often felt so numb and depressed, because she was a brilliant young woman with a good job and a seemingly very put-together life. And if they knew of the activities she turned to distract herself, they’d chastise and judge her. But with Luke it was very different, because he too suffered and knew what it was like to be a mess underneath it all. He never turned a judgmental eye on her. “Good,” she said with a soft smile, leaning in to give him an light kiss on both cheeks. “How are you doing though?”

[leecas]

Visit Original Link

[cortvs]

I'm wasting my days as I've wasted my nights and I've wasted my youth You're waiting for something You've waited in vain because there's nothing for you Suffocation

[cortvs]

callmylifewright‌.

Damien Warren. That was all Erica had been able to think of, his mere presence in the same building as her making her skin crawl where it had once made her heart thrum with excitement. Those previous feelings– they were enough to cause her stomach to turn, a nausea that had overwhelmed her body through the entire day. Damien, Damien, Damien, goddamn fucking Damien. He was an inescapable void. Even after all this time, she couldn’t pull herself far enough away from the black hole that was his dark influence on her. How could she even begin to go about her life normally if he was intruding on it?

He’d not spoken to her at all, thankfully, but Erica had felt his gaze upon her any time they were in the same vicinity as each other. It was so painfully obvious that she was affected by his being there, as much as she tried to play it off and focus her attention on what it was that she had to work on. She’d gotten nowhere with anything, too afraid of being watched, too afraid that he would approach her. Finally, she’d been able to clock out, gathering her things into her book bag as quickly as she possibly could. The fear of being caught by Damien was too intense to allow for a spare moment to see off those she was friendly with at the agency. Her coat pulled around her frail frame and her bag hanging on her shoulder, Erica took quick strides out of the building, only stopping when she was a good hundred metres away. Attempting to light up a cigarette to ease her shot nerves, she very nearly screamed out loud when the lighter refused to stay alight. And suddenly, there was a hand with a working lighter in front of her. Inhaling shakily, the cigarette caught the flame and she felt the smoke enter her lungs.

“Smoking is a rather bad habit,” Oh, no. “I never took you for a bad girl.” It was him. It was him. What could she say? Was there anything to say? “…You– you never… bothered to know… who– I was.” If it had been any other person, Erica’s quick wit and sharp tongue would have allowed her to deliver that sentence with ease. As it was, Damien propelled her into a state of discomfort and anxiety. Her eyes began to sting once again, her chest constricting as sobs threatened to fall from her mouth. No. Not here. Not for him. Not ever again. “I have– somewhere to be…” Veronica was waiting for her, she had to start heading over there as soon as possible. Damien let out a quiet chuckle before leaning in close to her ear, brushing a lock of hair away from her cheek. His touch felt so disgusting, but she couldn’t move, breathe, or do anything to stop this. “Keep your schedule open. We have so much to catch up on, my darling,” He then pressed a kiss to her cheek; it felt as though the whole area was burning. And with that he took his leave. She didn’t turn to watch him.

Several moments later when she was truly sure that Damien was gone, Erica gasped in a lungful of air before hunching over the bin, gagging and retching. The exchange left her stomach churning, and before she knew what was happening, she had lost what little she had eaten for lunch to the trash can. She was so terrified that she didn’t want to even stop at home before meeting Veronica. All that was running through her mind was that he could follow her, find out where she lived. If that were to happen, this would only get worse.

When she was convinced her stomach had settled, Erica made her way to the side of the street, waving down the next taxi that passed by and directed it toward her friend’s place. She didn’t know how she was going to explain away her bloodshot eyes or her tear-stained cheeks, but Erica knew that she couldn’t be alone. Veronica had always been a friend to her when she’d needed it. It may have started as mere casual sex, but it definitely had not stayed that way. They were close in a way she hadn’t expected they would be, but she certainly cherished it. Checking in on each other, asking about each other’s days– it felt so genuine.

Erica had, over time, stripped away many of her pretences for Veronica. It wasn’t often that someone got to experience Erica for who she truly was. And, she supposed, Ronnie was going to get an all access pass to her inner workings tonight. It was not exactly the most enjoyable state in which to catch up with her friend, but going home alone was too dangerous. Maybe– just maybe, if she spent her nights with other people at their places then she could throw Damien off the scent. And it definitely did not hurt that she felt safer sharing a bed with someone else. When she reached the door, she pressed the bell and received a prompt answer. She forced a smile in response to Veronica’s, though it was obvious it was not genuine.

“You– have no idea how glad I am you invited me over tonight,” Erica spoke quietly, her tone despondent. This was not how she had wanted to act turning up at her friend’s place, but she could not help what she was feeling. There was much that she could hide– just not this. Her emotions got the better of her and on an impulse yanked Veronica in for a tight yet short hug. “Thank you.” She mumbled. Right now Erica needed positive affection and attention, but she pulled away before it became awkward. She was simply thankful that she had someone like Veronica to turn to in a crisis like this. Was she going to tell her friend about what had really happened? Likely not. Damien was a secret she’d sworn to take to the grave. Of course, that was before he had infiltrated her personal life in a completely different country. At this point, all bets were off when determining how this would turn out.

Entering the apartment Erica, being Erica, made a beeline for the wine and drained one of the glasses within a few seconds. Placing the empty vessel on the table, she sat back on the couch, taking her shoes off and tucking her feet underneath her body. Once she had settled, she reached for the bottle of wine and poured herself another drink. Surprisingly, she was beginning to calm down, her shoulder muscles loosening for the first time all day and her chest no longer feeling so constricted. Erica sighed and though she had the urge to scull her second glass as well, she just sipped at the wine before turning her attention to Veronica. “I– really hope you have more than one bottle, V. I need to drink myself into a stupor. … If you have spirits I’ll drink those too.”

Though she’d received a smile from Erica once she’d opened the door, Veronica began to realize that all was not as it seemed with her friend as she looked her over. She saw the slight smudging of mascara around her lashline, the languid pallor that was unlike the woman who usually displayed such VIVACITY ... and most of all, she heard the tone in her voice that suggested something wasn’t right. Was it work? Had something happened before she’d come over? But before she could even part her lips to question, Erica had tugged her in for a brief, tight hug ... and then she pulled away and entered the flat. Concern was slowly beginning to seep it’s way into Veronica and she quietly shut the door, turning to watch as Erica went straight for the wine. 

The brunette warily approached her sofa, where Erica now resided, and took a seat beside the other. “Erica ... is everything all right? You don’t seem well, querida.” She reached to gently brush some of the other’s hair behind her ear, her brow furrowed slightly. “And of course, I do. Tequila, whiskey, whatever you like ... but before I pull out more alcohol tell me what’s on your mind. Was the new guy really that bad?” It freaked her out a little, seeing Erica like this, though she remained very calm on the outside. A normal bad day at work didn’t do this to someone, not even Erica, who was tougher than most people Veronica knew. Something had really shaken her up and though she couldn’t blame her for trying to cope with alcohol much like how Veronica used dealing to cope, she wanted to at least try to get her to TALK. 

[cortvs]

londonxxcalling‌.

Tristan was unable to resist laughing at that. “Welcome to London” he said. “Where every day is filled with sights that would give even Stephen King nightmares.” It was only a slight exaggeration, as far as he was concerned. “Speaking of Halloween, have you got your costume planned yet?” Tristan had been thinking about his for a while now. He loved Halloween more than any other holiday.

“You know, I’ve lived here for the past thirteen years of my life and this is the first time I’ve gotten flashed before lunch,” the brunette shook her head before pondering on his question. “Oh ... I’m not really sure. I could be a complete geek and be a powerful female historical figure, but I don’t know.” She laughed, a faint blush staining her cheeks. “But this is all assuming I even end up doing anything on Halloween ...” 

She only had so many friends, and she wasn’t sure if any of them even had anything planned for the night or would invite her to anything. And frankly, Halloween had been the LAST thing on her mind as of late. Normally she was excited for holidays but she was so consumed with work, with both of her jobs, and trying to just keep herself going. It was a struggle getting out of bed most mornings and at night it was even harder just to get to sleep. But she had to give people the impression that she was okay, that was so on top of everything, because that’s what she’d always done.