i. there are two paths before for you: happily ever after or eternal despair. your fate is the latter and you will have no choice in the matter. your loved ones will die. your child will die. you will die. you will not mourn them nor will you rest; life will not give you that gift just yet. โ it is unfair!โ you scream. โ so what?ย โ the galaxy whispers back in indifference.
ii. you once were a klutz. you once were a crybaby. you once were in love. you once were a mother. now you are everything andย yet you are nothing. a being born from all life in the galaxy cauldron: you are the alpha and the omega, the first andย the last, the beginning andย the end. you are sailor cosmos.
iii. you are bruised, broken, andย alone. chaos towers before you andย the galaxy cauldron lays tainted beneath you. you are the last: the last of your friends and the last of the senshi. this choice is now yours alone.ย which one will you save?ย which one will you destroy?
iv. a choice is finally made. you throw yourself into the cauldron while uttering one final wish: i want to be with my friends again. your wish is denied and your body is torn asunder in return as you become one with the cauldron andย the cauldron becomes one with you. tsukino usagi is dead andย you are all that remains from her ashes.
v. you made the wrong choice. you were afraid. you were scared. you were a coward. so you flee: from chaos, from the destruction, and from all of your fears. you vow to go to her, to the better you. she would know what to do.ย she will make the right choice. you will convince her of that.
โฝ โฎ โซ โโโโ โย directory.
cosmama ( prev. cosmicworn ) : a headcanon-based / canon-divergent roleplay blog dedicated to sailor cosmos from the manga series, bishoujo senshi sailor moon. est. since 2018. eternally loved by summer ( she / her / 21+ย ). the blog occasionally mentions ( and properly tags ) the following trigger warnings: depression, suicidal thoughts, and post traumatic stress disorder.
one of my favorite bits of writing cosmos is the rare moments when the serenity/usaginess comes out. they are all three different people but are also the same which means akari is often running on one braincell more than people realize
@cosmama whispered : ' ryoji .' the woman begins, deadpan. serious. ' for the sake of the universe - we have to steal all the leftover valentines chocolate. quickly. '
โงย โ unprompted !
the cosmos has descended once again from her heavenly perch, the bearer of untold futures and indecipherable prophecies to all but the delicate, yet composed voice that speaks objectively of their abstract existence. all which has been voiced will inevitably come to pass. looking up to maternal figure with both fondness and reverence, growing close to her slender stature since their last reunion, gaze is undoubtedly surprised. the mind attempts to understand what it is that she asks of him once again. the universe bears its colossal weight upon your shoulders, death. an inescapable fate, try as you may to relinquish yourself to a semblance of daily life that you so greatly yearn for.
โ weโre going to steal all of the leftover valentineโs chocolate ? โ he repeats, the words faltering as they continue to be. there is nothing either impossible or absurd that beckons commitment in order to preserve the harmonious, yet temporary state of the universe. primordial chaos was, and still remains, the cornerstone of life at present. it is only natural before it comes to exert its influence over events to come in the near future. โ are we going to melt them to make the biggest chocolate that anyone in the universe has ever seen ? โ inquisitive nature takes precedence, seeking further insight into the great vision that she may have witnessed. this request is one that has been asked with both haste and great diligence behind it. how it entails the sacrifice of ideals for the sake of the worldโs preservation and the continuation of lifeโs intricate, yet beautiful legacy. it would be a pleasant thought to think that everyone could share in such a gift if this is how its manifestation was to appear. โ what needs to happen first ? โ it would be a lie to say that conflict did not manifest within, trapped within oneโs throat. remain at ease, whispers plead. do not worry so much. it is the remnants that shall be gathered, repurposed and remoulded into a new form. the universe shall be renewed, the rebirth of once โ brilliant stars and celestial bodies heralding hope.
The ultimate affectionate gestures compilation ( version 3.0, improved and even more extended )
Send one of the following prompts for my muse to reach out affectionately to yours!
Feel free to combine them ( example: send [ brush ] + [ push ] for my muse to brush the loose strand of your museโs hair our of their face and then push it behind your museโs ear ), reverse them ( example: send [ reverse + caress ] for your muse to caress my museโs cheekย ) and/or add details.
[ tilt ] - for receiver to tilt senderโs chin gently to prompt them to make eye contact with receiver
[ curl ] - for receiver to curl their fingers under sender's chin while resting a thumb on their cheek, not quite tilting but just... holding
[ cup ] - for receiver to cup senderโs face with their hand/s
[ caress ] - for receiver to caress senderโs cheek
[ place ] - for receiver to place their hand over senderโs hand where itโs placed on receiverโs cheek
[ boop ] - for receiver to boop sender on the nose
[ nose rub ] - for receiver to brush their nose against senderโs nose
[ nose ] - for receiver to kiss sender on the nose
[ palm ] - for receiver to kiss sender on the palm
[ back ] - for receiver to kiss sender on the back of a hand
[ knuckles ] - for receiver to kiss senderโs knuckles
[ shoulder ] - for receiver to place a kiss on sender's shoulder / shoulder blade
[ nape ] - for receiver to place a kiss on the nape of sender's neck
[ jaw ] - for receiver to place leisurely kisses along sender's jaw
[ cheek ] - for receiver to kiss sender on the cheek
[ lips ] - for receiver to kiss sender softly on the lips
[ forehead ] - for receiver to kiss sender on the forehead
[ lean ] - for receiver to lean in and press their forehead against senderโs forehead
[ pepper ] - for receiver to pepper senderโs face with kisses
[ eyes ] - for receiver to kiss senderโs closed eyelids
[ tears ] - for receiver to kiss away senderโs tears
[ wipe ] - for receiver to wipe away senderโs tears
[ gaze ] - for receiver to gaze into senderโs eyes
[ stare ] - for receiver to look affectionately at sender / follow sender's movements with a look full of fondness
[ roll ] - for receiver to roll their eyes affectionately at sender
[ scalp ] - for receiver to massage senderโs head
[ pat ] - for receiver to pat senderโs head
[ brush ] - for receiver to brush the hair out of senderโs face / eyes / forehead
[ push ] - for receiver to push the loose strand of senderโs hair behind your museโs ear
[ top ] - for receiver to kiss sender on the top of their head and then rest their cheek against it while holding sender close
[ chin ] - for receiver to settle their chin on the top of senderโs head while holding them close
[ hair ] - for receiver to place lots of short, sweet, messy little kisses on the crown of senderโs hair
[ run ] - for receiver to run their fingers through senderโs hair
[ stroke ] - for receiver to stroke sender's hair / head
[ twirl ] - for receiver to twirl a strand of senderโs hair around their finger
[ hand ] - for receiver to place their hand on senderโs shoulder / neck as a way of supporting / comforting / reassuring them that receiver is there for them
[ wrap ] - for receiver to wrap their arm around senderโs shoulders
[ massage ] - for receiver to massage a specified part of sender's body (ex.: hand/s, foot/feet, knee/s etc.)
[ relax ] - for receiver to massage senderโs shoulders and/or neck
[ soothe ] - for receiver to rub senderโs shoulders soothingly
[ rub ] - for receiver to rub senderโs back
[ body ] - for receiver to give sender a full-body massage
[ snuggle ] - for receiver to snuggle to senderโs side
[ waist ] - for receiver to wrap their arm around sender's waist
[ support ] - for receiver to support sender with an arm around their waist / shoulders and/or pull sender's arm across receiver's shoulders to better support their weight
[ catch ] - for receiver to catch sender as they stumble or collapse from exhaustion / sickness / injuries
[ lift ] - for receiver to lift sender up in their arms
[ shield ] - for receiver to shield sender from a threat, be it a person or a force of nature
[ tackle ] - for receiver to tackle sender, playfully or to shield from danger
[ come here ] - for receiver to gently pull sender towards them for a hug or a dance
[ behind ] - for receiver to hug sender from behind
[ rest ] - for receiver to hug sender from behind and rest their cheek against senderโs back / shoulder
[ rock ] - for receiver to hold sender and rock gently from side to side
[ tuck ] - for receiver to tuck sender against their chest, covering them with their jacket / coat fronts, in order to keep them warm / safe from rain
[ head ] - for receiver to rest their head on senderโs shoulder
[ sit ] - for receiver to settle down on sender's lap
[ lap ] - for receiver to place their head upon senderโs lap
[ guide ] - for receiver to guide sender to place their head upon receiverโs lap
[ chest ] - for receiver to hide their face in sender's chest
[ hide ] - for receiver to guide sender to hide their faceย in receiverโs chest
[ heartbeat ] - for receiver to place their head upon senderโs chest, right over their heart, to listen to its beat
[ listen ] - for receiver to guide sender to rest their head upon receiver's chest, right over their heart, so they can listen to its beat
[ help ] - for receiver to give sender a hand when theyโre stepping up or over something
[ touch ] - for receiver to touch the back of their hand to the back of senderโs hand as if inviting to hold hands
[ thumb ] - for receiver to run their thumb over senderโs thumb while holding hands
[ hold ] - for receiver to hold senderโs hand and interlace their fingers
[ squeeze ] - for receiver to squeeze senderโs hand
[ fingers ] - for receiver to play with senderโs fingers absent-mindedly
[ shapes ] - for receiver to trace imaginary shapes on senderโs skin
[ cover ]ย - for receiver to cover sender with a blanket / jacket / coat as theyโre lying down
[ drape ] - for receiver to drape a blanket / jacket / coat around senderโs shoulders
[ comb ] - for receiver to brush senderโs hair
[ braid ] - for receiver to braid senderโs hair
[ nails ] - for receiver to tidy senderโs nails and/or do a manicure
[ makeup ] - for receiver to help sender put on their makeup
[ jewelry ] - for receiver to help sender put on a piece of jewelry
[ tie ] - for receiver to help sender do their tie
[ scarf ] - for receiver to tie a scarf around sender's neck so they won't get cold
[ smooth ] - for receiver to straighten senderโs collar / lapel / brush a hand over senderโs clothes to smooth them out
[ zip ] - for receiver to help sender zip their dress / jacket / button their clothes
[ dress ] - for receiver to help sender put on an item of clothing
[ unbrella ] - for receiver to share their umbrella with sender to save them from rain / scorching sun
[ cook ] - for receiver to cook something for sender
[ treat ] - for receiver to offer new food / receiver's favorite food to sender
[ feed ] - for receiver to feed sender
[ drink ] - for receiver to help sender drink
[ cocktail ] - for receiver to make a cocktail for sender
[ pour ] - for receiver to pour sender a drink
[ bath ] - for receiver to draw a warm bath for sender
[ water ] - for receiver to join sender in the bath
[ wash ] - for receiver to help sender with washing their hair / body
[ blowdryer ] - for receiver to help sender dry their hair with a blow dryer / a towel
[ towel ] - for receiver to dry sender's body / clothes with a towel
[ spread ] - for receiver to spread out a blanket / towel / carpet on the ground so that sender and they can sit on it
[ blanketfort ] - for receiver to build a fort out of blankets, pillows etc. for / with sender
[ picnic ] - for receiver to invite sender to a picnic
[ swim ] - for receiver to invite sender to swim with them
[ hobby ] - for receiver to share their favorite pastime with sender
[ teach ] - for receiver to help sender learn something / how to do something
[ read ] - for receiver to read something aloud to sender
[ trinkets ] - for receiver to show sender and/or tell them about things in their possession / things they love
[ beckon ] - for receiver to beckon sender towards them
[ whisper ] - for receiver to whisper something in sender's ear
[ tickle ] - for receiver to tickle sender
[ cheer ] - for receiver to try to cheer sender up
[ faces ] - for receiver to make funny faces at sender
[ shove ] - for receiver to playfully shove sender
[ pull ] - for receiver to pull sender down to sit on receiverโs lap
[ bed ] - for receiver to push or pull sender back on the bed when they try to get up
[ cloth ] - for receiver to bath senderโs face / neck with a cloth soaked in cool water
[ patch ] - for receiver to patch up sender's wound/s
[ pain ] - for receiver to kiss sender where it hurts to soothe their pain
[ trace ] - for receiver to trace senderโs scar/s with the softest press of their fingertips
[ ask ] - for receiver to ask sender about their scar/s
from left to right: raiden shogun ( ei, not the puppet ), ultimate madoka, hydaelyn, buffy summers, diana prince / wonder woman, seiros / rhea, neo / the one, harue shigima
kikyo ( inuyasha ) / book!daenerys targaryen ( asoiaf ) / mel medarda ( arcane ) / rei ayanami ( neon genesis evangelion ) / yennefer of vengerberg ( the witcher ) / u should know who this is / squall leonhart ( final fantasy viii ) / tifa lockhart ( final fantasy vii ) / anakin skywalker ( star wars )
@cosmama whispered : โ have you been well since we last met little one ? ' <3
motherโฆ ๐ญ๐ซ๐ how wonderful to see you once again... ( unprompted ! )
the sudden manifestation of the cosmos is a soft and poignant welcome. iridescent light illuminates surroundings and instantly finds itself at peace with the entire universe that it inhibits. the familiar sight of her long billowing hair, adorned with silver ribbons of scintillating moonlight are ever reminiscent of the garden of asphodel that instantly soothes lost souls with the kind promise of repose and safety. a motherโs embrace and brightest salutation is a salve to every qualm that could be in the root of oneโs heart, hastily woven with the aurous threads of norn. seldom are the epithets of both nyx and thanatos instantly invoked by mortal whisperings, unless approaching the eternal slumber ushered by the bright glint of atroposโ shears. elusive and enigmatic figures are they both, imagined to be swathed in the darkest of shadows, but so dearly fond of the purest and most tender light. a gentle smile, eyes excitedly aglow with the present unfurling of their unexpected reunion overtakes what thought could and might have been in the midst of strange and impromptu wandering.
motherโฆ you once told me that i had to stop being so afraid of myself. iโm here. itโs me. i am who you once knew as death. you have allowed the treasure of my chosen name to grace your lips time and again. you respected, nurtured and supported my decision until the story had to come to an end. it renewed itself and thrived. it is my face that you have cradled in the palm of your hand when i shed so many tears, both of the greatest joy and utmost sorrow. you placed your wings upon my back and gave me the ability to ascend towards achieving my purpose in this beautiful world, my reason for being. you allowed me to simply be, leaving you behind for a little while, in order to pursue what granted me happiness. iโm sorry. iโm sorry for being so afraid. i hope i can show you everything that this world means to me. every little moment that i have been privileged to be a part of, even when i should not have been known as fondly as i was.
his hands extend warmly to her, the humorous detail made significant of how he slightly towers above her apparent in their reunion. there is a slight hold, in a small act of desperation to hold on to the perpetual warmth of her affection. their slender fingers intertwine, keeping each other close. the ethereal blue of his own gaze tenderly meets with the soft, patient and wise lavender of maternal being. the comfort of nocturnal skies with their company of stars prevails. home has returned once again. โ i really have. โ voice overflows with a myriad of emotions, an indescribable joy in the face of her arrival. despite being taller, being tends to diminish ever so slightly in the magnificent splendour of her presence all the same. a primordial existence with eons of memories and wisdom associated : deeply empathising with the plights and rapturous delights of other souls. she would never see him without a single thing. it is now time to return her selflessness, if such an act could see a modicum of what she has done for him returned in kind.
โ how have you been ? i believe i promised you some hot chocolate next time you came to visit. you seemed so fascinated by how cozy and comforting such a drink can be. โ the invocation of beautiful nostalgia, an unforgettable moment between mother and son. he had handed her the definitive vestiges of his humanity to shelter her from the elements : a trace that โ mochizuki ryoji ' existed, for however short a time it was. ' the best part is when the marshmellows melt into the chocolate, as if it is a blanket of sweet tasting snow. it was a precious moment. i never want to forget that day we spent together. โ
โ ย one day iโll go or you will. ย either way, it will be as if iโm losing a piece of myself. ย โ ( do you remember when i said akari wouldn't hesitate to kill hotaru unlike usagi if she felt it was to save the rest of earth :))))))))))))))))))))) )
๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ : where there is life, death shall follow. the birthright of stars was always meant to collapse and in the eve of their light lies their own devastation. it was always primordial thing to witness life's manifestation in the shape of you, followed by the arrival of the pitiful depths of her. light and death : from one messiah to another, locked by the grandiose of inevitability. you are the beginning : the mother of life and heavenly order. she was the end : the purveyor of silence and fated executioner. together they are meant to be the enigmatic equations to humanity's boundless existence.
and yet ... here lies another archaic decree : they should never meet. death must stay hidden, sealed, and forgotten. life must thrive, overcome, and survive. throughout these countless lifetimes across time : how many times did your outer-soldiers sealed her back to her faraway pedestal ? how many more times did she seek to destroy everything you held dear while wearing such a familiar comforting face ? death is never a stranger, and neither was the warm gentle embrace of your weary existence.
โ it cannot be helped, โ sadden timbre unveils her own chosen words of acceptance. her heart is warm with remorse, no doubt an after-effect to your shinning beacon. things are different, she surmise. throughout the ages : saturn's orbit never truly connected to your vessel as she did with the trajectory standing before her. unlike the others, you understood solitude and all of its silence. unlike the others, you realize what it was like to stand your ground all alone and misunderstood. she, like you, knows the emptiness and weight of every difficult decision. you are tired, so was she. everything felt too heavy, and yet here they were. life and death // destruction and light. it was almost too comforting, if she allowed herself to admit.
โ without destruction, stars cannot be born. without light, life cannot flourish. we stand on opposites ends of rebirth and infinity. you and i, will always be a part of each other. โ a faded smile manifest on the corner of her lips, and while there is still a heavy wave of uncertainty in the air, there was no denying the peace she felt in your reflection. the soul of saturn is not like the other planetary guardians. her spirit is an enemy, it is an ally, it is familiar, and it is the unknown. she understood your uncertainty well, and yet a part of her still continues to wish otherwise.
perhaps one day, she can earn a place to fight by your side. perhaps one day, things can be different. but for now, she understands and she hopes that some day : you too can understand her too.
