Raw Thoughts, Cold Words

Singapore.

[girlfriendsinjeans]

[cosmicpyaar]

I need to regain my aura

[angelicdewdrop]

[stalgivc]

[cosmicpyaar]

Me: YOU SHOULD WFO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE

*hubz goes to office*

Me: COME BACK HOME

I’m legit the most conflicted person ever

[dreamstars]

[cosmicpyaar]

If you cling on to something or someone toxic, you can never find what you are searching for.

[cosmicanger]

[cosmicpyaar]

If papa was here… he wouldn’t have let this happen.

Miss you forever. Your home doesn’t feel like my home anymore. 😞

[aachanel]

[dreamstars]

[cosmicpyaar]

Once you have fallen out of my heart, I think there is no way back in. As I grow older, I feel I become more stone hearted. Nothing really affects me anymore, it’s just…. life for me?

So angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[angelicdewdrop]

[cosmicpyaar]

I hate who I’ve become.

I try to be grateful but it’s so damn difficult.

And I used to be the person who saw the silver lining in literally everything.

The whole day I am shouting at everyone to eat, sleep and get shit done. The daughter, the helper, the husband, the dog etc. I’ve lost the aura that I once possessed, where the world was literally my oyster and everyone would be attracted to me, want to be nice to me, want to be my friend, strangers smiling etc.

I am a shell of my former self.

It’s true what my mom said that I need to make more effort into looking better but no nice clothes fit me, my body is fat and ugly, my hair has thinned so much, it’s white and frizzy, nothing looks good. And also is not as if I’m employed or go somewhere that I should put effort (I know this is stupid)

Life has beaten me over.

In the mummies fb group - someone posted a ‘debate’ of the mummies could turn back time, what would they do differently and most comments were that they’d marry a rich a guy or not marry at all. Ha ha ha. Does everyone feel this way?

It’s just one of the days.

[aestheticvh]

[cosmicpyaar]

Miss my papa forever 😭

[achillesinhighheels]

[cosmicpyaar]

Love it. And yes.

Im soaking in all the lessons.

Im realising that life is indeed a journey. There are many seasons and chapters. Some people will be a part of them and some not. Some have shorter chapters and some longer in our books. Some painful, some joyous and some that we can’t understand now but will understand later in the book of life.

I’m praying and hoping everything that I want comes together and I can make some shifts and arrangements. Tough but worth it times ahead. Inshallah.

[mondo-grosso]

[remanence-of-love]

[zagrebinaa]

[cosmicpyaar]

People think I am holding it all together and living a fairy tale life.

But lol, I have signed off from a major part of my life. Ha ha ha.

[anxietyproblem]

[life-spire]

[cosmicpyaar]

Miss my father forever

[overclassy]

[cosmicpyaar]

What’s next?

[victoriajoan]

that first sip of coffee though