Audio pls

Love Begins

Andulka
Three Goblin Art
we're not kids anymore.

shark vs the universe
Jules of Nature
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

ellievsbear
d e v o n

PR's Tumblrdome

@theartofmadeline
noise dept.

Janaina Medeiros
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

⁂

Product Placement

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
tumblr dot com
Monterey Bay Aquarium

No title available
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@couldawoodashoulda
Audio pls
One of my favorite things in Critical Role is when they annoy Matt by making really dumb jokes in a serious moment, and he starts writing as if he was taking notes, making them all scream in complete terror.
Theseus is so funny and for what
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJsMrwMo/
I joke about being mean and evil but then people are Actually just genuinely shitty and I'm like. Doesn't it make you feel bad when you act like that
Just want everyone to know when I say 'evil' I really just mean "villainous and campy like a cartoon antagonist"
after seeing the trailer this was all i could think of
Wait a minute if elves take a hundred years to grow up that has some weird implications.
So… if we say a human comes of age in fantasy worlds at 16, that means it takes an elf 6.25 years to age one human year. If we say the age of maturity is 18 that’s 5.55 years.
So then… okay with people that live a long time have to see their human friends die and probably see them like pets yeah that’s been explored to death. But what about a human just seeing their friend not grow up?
An elf toddler and a human toddler become friends at a playdate. At the time the human is two and the elf is 13. Emotionally the elf is just a little older than the human. But then the human grows up. He grows up and as he grows up his friend doesn’t. Not much, anyways.
She’s still sucking her thumb and throwing tantrums the entire time that he grows up. When he reaches the age where he’d choose a trade or go to an academy he’s earning extra money by babysitting her. During his initiation into adulthood on his 18th birthday she’s there with her parents holding a stuffed animal. Later that afternoon he sees her being shown some colorful flashcards with letters of the elvish alphabet on it by her father.
The human gets older. He learns how to fight, he goes from town to town getting work. At some point he joins the army. Every time he visits his hometown he has at least one more scar and by the time he’s 30 and the elf girl is mentally seven by human standards she starts to understand that something is wrong. Even after he settles down to be a home maker for the local blacksmith something feels wrong.
And she watches him grow old. When she’s in her 80s she babysits his grandchildren for extra cash after school, coming over in her school robes and ruffling his hair. She doesn’t remember why she became friends with this human or when but a strange sense of jealousy fills her heart.
Now she realizes it. She realizes it too late, on the day her friend learns that he is dying. The first day of her 100th year and the start of his last. Humans’ lifetimes may only last for the childhood of an elf if they’re lucky, but they learn so fast. They do so much. They cram their days full of love and hate and learning and wonder.
He knew this was coming. He knew all of this decades before she did, because elves are slow. Not stupid, certainly not stupid, but very very slow. She holds her old friend’s hand as he lays down on his bed. A man that has led such an ordinary life but feels so extraordinary to her. Because he has always, always been there and now he just won’t. Because in her eyes he became so wise so fast and now he’s just gonna be gone.
On an elf’s 100th birthday they are allowed to choose a new name for themselves. It can be important, or not. Usually it will follow them until the end of time. She stands in front of her family’s elders and is asked what name she will be called from now on.
She names herself after him.
just tear my heart out and stamp on it why don’t you?
DJ MeowMix
This is has huge 2010 cat meme energy and I love it nonetheless.
“Aquarium Installs Sushi Roll Cylinders For Eels To Slide Into.”
lovecore this. cottagecore that. what about the reactor core its going to explode
This is one of my favorite posts because that cat’s fucking name is fucking meatloaf
Let us just appreciate that this person’s dad didn’t know when they would be home and so he couldn’t plan for them to be able to join the family for dinner, but he knew with no doubts that dear sweet Meatloaf staying in that exact position for hours was an absolute in this scenario. Truly, that cat was named well.
one of my favorite posts on tumblr over the course of 5 fucking years.. clearly i need a life
Meatloaf is a reliable cat and did not steal the money for selfish reasons. A rare friend.
I love Meatloaf. :)
Bless Meatloaf
Reblog Money Meatloaf to get surprise $40
Download and learn more about the app here.
BOOST THE FUCK OUT OF THIS
This is so fucking amazing!
Some solutions may seem so small but this is a greater impact.
BOOST THE FUCK OUT OF THIS GUYS
REBLOG AND DOWNLOAD APP
@yenneferofvengerbergg Look, Darling, maybe this will help you understand the importance of the matter.
IMPORTANT NOTE: the app link in the article is for the California one.
There’s one for every state.
(From the looks of it, I haven’t looked to see if there’s 50 apps.)
[Edit: nope. There’s not one for every state.]
States with apps: California, Pennsylvania, Oregon, Michigan, North Carolina, Virginia, Georgia, New Jersey, Colorado, Missouri, Minnesota, Arizona, Maryland, Oklahoma, Mississippi, New Mexico, DC, Nebraska
Reblogging because it’s still a greaaaat idea.
I’m not in a state with one but boosting this anyways
Reblogging for my American friends
Ok so I was looking for historical slang terms for penis (gotta be era-accurate when writing vintage dick jokes) and I came across….something
some linguist compiled a literal timeline of genitalia slang–a cock compendium, if you will–that dates back all the way to the fucking 13th CENTURY. This motherfucker tracked the evolution of erection etymology through 800+ years, because if he doesn’t do it, who else will? Thank you for your service, Johnathon Green.
Some of my favorites include:
Shaft of Delight (1700s)
Womb Sweeper (1980s)
Master John Goodfellow (1890s)
Nimble-Wimble (1650s)
Corporal Love (1930s)
Staff of Life (1880s)
Spindle (1530s)
As good as ever twanged (1670s)
Gaying Instrument (1810s)
Beef Torpedo (1980s)
and last but not least, the first recorded use of the word Schlong, which was in 1865 CE. Tag yourself, I’m Nimble Wimble
And are the lovely ladies feeling left out? not to worry! Johnathon’s got you covered, gals, because he also made one for vaginas. Highlights:
Mrs. Fubb’s Parlor (1820s)
Poontang (1950s)
Spunk Box (1720s)
Ringerangroo (1930s)
Ineffable (1890s)
Itching Jenny (1890s)
Carnal Mantrap (1890s - a busy decade apparently)
Bookbinder’s Wife (1760s)
Rough Malkin (1530s)
Socket (1460s)
and a personal favorite, crinkum-crankum, circa approximately 1670.
@antique-symbolism
this alone has justified the internet
@ohnolitclass
I’ve been sitting on this for over a week bc frankly I was just OVERWHELMED with options. Gotta give it up to As Good As Ever Twanged for the simple joys of a good dick twanging and then Carnal Mantrap for pure descriptive terror. We love to see it.
I get a lot of feelings from these scenes!
WHOA, HOLD UP, WHAT?!
Yeah, Oak was the kid in the Celebi movie.
Meaning that he also probably had more pokemon available when Ash first started his journey, but he deliberately tricked Ash into accepting a rowdy and untamed pikachu because that was Ash’s partner back during their adventure together.
We stan
Samuel Oak
That means his verbal savagery toward Ash early on was friendship, which puts a whole different spin on it.
*Ash rushes in, dead last among the kids of Pallet Town*: Professor Oak! Is it too late for me to get a Pokémon?!
Samuel Oak, Anticipating this moment for decades and saving a very special Pikachu from the local breeding program for just this occasion and trying very hard not to laugh: Oh boy, we’ll see what we can do…
THE FUCKING PUNCHLINE, I’M ENDED