promoting health and positive attitude about food

[counseloroffthecouch]

Stand up and... be Daria.

[counseloroffthecouch]

On ‘ditching the diet.’

Today, I'm ditching this 'calorie counting' business. While it may be advisable to consider the caloric content of what you are eating (especially if you are underweight), it is not useful to teach yourself to eat to a quota, or hesitate on what you want because it may be ‘too heavy.’ Having a small amount of what you want will prevent a craving from building up. Whether you are trying to lose weight or not, this is a method to help teach you healthy eating habits.

Try it sometime: Next time you experience a craving, measure your desire for that particular item just before consuming it. Rate it on a scale of 1-10. Then consume a small amount of the item. For example, have one piece of chocolate, slowly savoring it. Then wait a moment. Did it satisfy the craving that brought you here? Yes? Put the chocolate away. If not, repeat.

No matter where you are in life, it is always necessary to be mindful. Food should not be the primary focus of your day – or you will end up conditioning your day to revolve around food, which is exactly what you don’t want. You want your day to include productivity, with breaks for food when you need it. You want address hunger interval that works for you – not necessarily at a scheduled mealtime – and feel the satisfaction that comes from it.

I still intend to lose weight, and here’s my plan to do it. 1) Only eat what I am craving. If I am not hungry, there’s a reason for it. 2) Eat until you feel satisfied. 3) If it tastes delicious but you are not hungry, you can save it for later. Refrigerators and freezers exist to preserve the food to satisfy the next craving! 4) Don’t let calorie nutrition labels be a dealmaker or dealbreaker.

[counseloroffthecouch]

Barriers to Weight Loss: Things to Address!

You feel everything you’ve done thus far has lead to either a plateau or steady weight gain. And you want to get a little healthier. While this is good, you may have some barriers. It’s important to remember that for weight loss to be sustainable, one must keep other factors in your life in check. It’s a common psychological phenomenon that people tend to eat in excess for comfort, or stay put, especially when they’re going through a challenging time in their lives (e.g. divorce, breakup, loss of job/difficult managers, toxic relationships, etc.). Imagine trying to put gas in a car that has a flat tire. It’s not going to go anywhere! If your ‘car’ (you) has a flat tire (have a difficult time in your life), then I’m here to say: Please be gentle with yourself and remind yourself you’re doing the best you can in other ways. Sometimes when people seek therapy, they naturally stop eating in excess, they lose the weight – because they learn more effective ways of coping without food, or they gain the energy to learn to cook foods to their liking (and even save tons of money in the process).

 It’s important to recognize that managing your weight might not be a priority for you. Some people have more on their mind than what goes into their body and trying to use the caloric energy in reserve. Some people struggle with sleep, which can impair the ability to tell when you’re full, which can lead to lethargy, and overall health problems. This doesn’t have to be an excuse, but sometimes it’s a part of reality for people who struggle to balance other things in their lives, or who struggle to implement other coping strategies.

When you are trying to work on eating less, it’s sometimes it’s about checking what changes may need to be made to help you manage your stress level and gain insight on your behavior and eating habits. Consider the following:

1)     Are there any toxic people in your life? Friends, family members who make you feel more bad than good? If for some reason you can’t limit your interactions with toxic people completely, try to increase the amount of time you spend with people who aren’t toxic.

2)     Keep a diary, and note what you eat and how much. You can find patterns in how interactions with others (eg. an argument with your partner), and your mood (eg. worry that you might get dumped) can affect your patterns of eating.

3)     Think about who you dine with. When you eat with them, do you notice hunger signals? Next time you are out to eat, pay attention.

4)     Do you dine alone? Think about having a close friend over for lunch, having light conversation. This allows for both pauses between bites, and keeps you from feeling isolated (which can in turn lead to depression.

5)     It’s not enough to simply sleep a certain number of hours. Your sleep quality and efficiency matter too – if you’re not getting restful sleep, you may pay for it the next morning. And furthermore, sleep impairs our ability to determine if we’re low on energy due to lack of sleep, or low on energy because we don’t have enough water or fuel. You also may not have the energy to exercise, which simultaneously effects sleep quality and weight loss and muscle toning.

6)     Are you keeping your morale up? If you eat nothing but health food, or eat way too little, you may run the risk of crashing. Let yourself eat something that you’ve been craving and don’t worry about ‘getting back on track.’ It will save the disappointment that comes from binging down the line to allow yourself to eat a little bit in excess.

 In realizing these things, you may recognize barriers that need to be overcome before addressing a weight problem. Recognizing these things doesn’t mean you have to give up your goal of weight loss. Changing little aspects of your life will affect your overall health.

[counseloroffthecouch]

Give yourself the freedom to explore...

I make a point to eat and drink what I like, and what makes me feel good, in the amount that makes me feel good. I can only do this adequately when I’m not feeling numb, and I’m capable of listening to my body’s signals.

I used to CONSTANTLY drink cow’s milk – not just a cup or two, I’d drink it in place of the typical amount I eat per meal now, on top of my regular daily meals. For scope: About a half gallon. And I’d chug it. I wouldn’t sip it, not enjoy it, not even taste it. It’d be one thing if I bought that half gallon at $1.45 just to allow myself to take sips of a nourishing, rich beverage.

It’s also what I’d drink every day. Now, I don’t wonder why. Not only did it not occur to me that I wasn’t honoring my body’s signals, I was ignoring that my body needed other things, and not just a gallon of milk and junk food alone. Since, my tastebuds have changed, because I understand now what it means to honor what my body wants and how great it feels after those signals are honored.

But I had no insight on what I wanted, or even the fact my body wanted other things.

Develop insight on what you’re eating and how it makes you feel.

When you scarf your food, do you really get a chance to experience how that food makes you feel? What it’s doing to help your body work? Chugging: When you are downing a glass of wine in one sip, do you really get a chance to taste it? You get the effect of maybe feeling tipsy, but you don’t get the experience of the taste.

And while you don’t have to limit yourself to one “serving” of anything (I don’t), you can most certainly take the time to recognize what you like and don’t like about foods, and the way they make you feel.

Thus, I began turning off distractions while I ate. Sure, this isn’t always realistic – sometimes you have to grab some quick fuel in the morning and run out the door, but when you really have the opportunity to think about what you’re eating, you make a discovery.

The discoveries I make while I ate allowed me to discern what food means to me. I ask myself: Do I like this food? What do I like about it? Does it satisfy me? Am I eating it out of convenience? Convention? If I don’t have the taste for it one day, am I able to get something else? Do I even want this right now?

At this point, I felt like I was willing to explore other options. Not even just fruits and vegetables – anything and everything, and consider the nutrition in it, and how that generally plays a role in my cravings. Shopping for fruits and vegetables is a great idea, but I’ve learned that if your goal is to eat less, you have to have balance so that you won’t end up binging on those foods later on because you felt so deprived of them before.

Because I was satisfying my cravings with my daily intake allowance, I would still lose weight, and I would not be tempted to shovel down candy if I didn’t feel like eating candy at that moment. While there’s no crime in occasional ice cream for breakfast, or even drinking a whole pint of milk in one sitting, it’s improbable that most people would have cravings for that every single day.

Give yourself the freedom to explore. At this point, when I tasted both alongside each other, I realized what qualities I liked about both foods. I never realized that what I enjoyed about milk was the hydration, and the smooth, cold and refreshing taste. For me, Almond Milk has the same satisfying properties. It warranted exploration for me.

And sure, milk was okay. Exploring gave me the opportunity to see that my body likes other foods. It’s also a bonus that it’s a great substitute that allows me to be more conscious about how many calories go into my body (without being concerned about how much goes into my cereal or a cup).

There’s no crime whatsoever in indulging in those things, it prevents you from going out of your comfort zone and realizing that there may be foods that do the same or more for you – and when you’re present enough to notice, you may like some foods that you never knew you liked.

Healthy or unhealthy, your body needs all types of foods. Eat the foods that feel like food to you. Eat what you crave in small amounts to avoid binging later on. Remind yourself that the war isn’t against food, or against your body, but to fuel your body to the extent it needs fuel – no more, no less.

[counseloroffthecouch]

Hypocrisy of the “Body Positivity Movement”

So it's fine to accept who you are, no matter your size.

But I have a hard time believing you're more than just self-absorbed if you are all "FAT POSITIVITY FOR THE WIN" but also say stuff like "ONLY DOGS LIKE BONES!" Do you not realize that both statements said together can be extremely problematic? How about you let your body be your body and you let other people's bodies be their responsibility and stop polarizing.

Saying both of these things encourage poor relationships with eating. It’s not just about your size, it’s the way you think about yourself and others, that encourages unhealthy ideas around food.

[foodfeelingsfreedom]

Intuitive Eating Tips For Thanksgiving

Don’t restrict food prior to dinner

While Thanksgiving is also a holiday, it’s just another day. A day where your body needs fuel and nutrition throughout the day, not just at dinner time. Forbidding yourself from eating all day will likely lead to a binge where you may end up feeling uncomfortable.

Tune in to hunger & fullness cues

Are you hungry? Eat. Are you starting to feel full or uncomfortable? Slow down. Your body knows exactly what it needs. Eat throughout the day as you get hungry, and listen to your body when it tells you it is full.

Give yourself unconditional permission to eat

There is no such thing as “good” or “bad” food. All food is nourishment, and your body needs a balance of all types of food. Go into Thanksgiving allowing yourself to eat what is appealing to you. Ditch the rules about what you think you should or shouldn’t eat - and simply enjoy your meal.

Eat only what is satisfying

Don’t like stuffing? No problem, don’t eat it. Ask yourself what would taste good and what is your body craving - it doesn’t have to be every single dish (or maybe it is!). There is no wrong way to eat, listen to your body and eat what tastes good to you. Don’t feel pressure to eat things that aren’t enjoyable to you.

Move in ways that feel good, don’t try to “burn off” anything

Your body needs energy to get through the day. Get rid of the attitude that food must be “burned off”. Eating should never be associated with guilt. Tune in to your body - what does it need? Maybe it wants a Zumba class to wake you up in the morning. Maybe it wants a yoga class to help lower the stress of family time. Maybe it wants a walk after your meal after being stuck in the house all day. Or maybe it just wants to rest. Honor what your body needs, and do what feels good - but leave burning calories out of it.

Focus on the holiday

Thanksgiving is about being grateful for what you have, and spending time with friends and family. Take some time today to thank your body for all the ways it serves you - it’s doing great things!

[counseloroffthecouch]

On Thanksgiving Day

Today I had an amazing meal with people I trust. Not only did I get the opportunity to eat freely and intuitively, and choose what foods I preferred, I got the opportunity to eat without the pressure to “clear the plate,” or eat anything I know for certain I’ll dislike.

In the morning and afternoon, I didn’t “save” my calories. I only ate what my body was signaling me to eat before Thanksgiving Dinner, and treated it like any other day, except purposefully granting myself the freedom to indulge with people I care about.

I allowed myself to eat until I felt full, but not overly full. The best part was that I was surrounded at the dinner table by people who refuse to call foods by their macros- “carby,” “protein,” or “loaded with calories.” Today is not about restriction, today is about connecting with people on food. Food is not the enemy, toxicity is the enemy that leads us down a path of emotional eating. Intuitive eating is the salve.

Thanksgiving Day is a day about bonding, and hopefully for you, your Thanksgiving Day/Thanksgiving Night has been, or will be, a day without emotional eating.

[counseloroffthecouch]

Positive. Body. Image.

I want you. To have. A positive body image.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GK2aXhG3iqk

[counseloroffthecouch]

Introduction

I’m a crisis counselor, human rights advocate, graduate student in social work, and working on myself. I used to be around 80-100 pounds overweight, after chronic bullying, depression, low self-esteem, and lack of a viable support system. I used humor and stand-up to cope with a toxic upbringing, lack of viable support system, and feeling lonely. It may sound cliche, but it’s true: I was eating to fill the symbolic void in myself. It felt like I was carrying a 100 pound backpack everywhere I went. I was barely able to physically stand without struggle. Again, also maybe symbolic?! Haha. Guess I can’t be a psych major without analyzing the symbolism of my own behavior, can I? God, this post is full of cliches! I was bullied about my weight. But it only made me eat more to compensate for the feeling of rejection that I felt.

I’m slowly and steadily recovering from a food addiction and taking my life back. I never knew how to lose it, and I was stuck in this loop of logic where I could eat whatever I wanted, but that translated to whatever portion you wanted and as often as you wanted, and soon I’d eat several meals worth of food PER meal, and snacks. Not occurring to me that it would cause me to gain so much weight. I slipped further into denial and despair. Isolation, which kept me from both going outside (I suffered Vitamin D deficiency), and kept me from seeing friends, and I ended up losing touch with some because I had no energy to talk to them. And the cycle continued.

Still enjoying the foods I like, but in smaller portions, and taking time to taste them. Not undoing the work I do after exercising. Instead of going to $10 buffets, going somewhere where I can get a quality meal for $10, and taking some home. Or treating myself to a nice, warm, homecooked meal, or a small piece of pumpkin pie or a small piece of candy.

I wanted to be there for not only others, but myself. Because I decided I’m worthy of occupying this world as much as anyone else and that I wasn’t going to stay down and out. But balance that philosophy with: It’s if I gain more weight. I now know how to lose it if it begins to lag me down again. I still go out once a week to get a nice, hot Chinese meal and pack half of it away for the next day or share it with a friend. It works for me! Because I move around and spend time with friends walking around town now, or by myself (yay, I’m not isolated!), I am able to freely estimate my intake instead of monitoring every single calorie.

I still do monitor calories to a point, but I make sustainable choices about what I eat. I give into cravings, but instead of full servings, I take out one serving of a treat, stick it on my tongue for the taste, and then start eating. Paying attention to the taste. Small bites, slow chewing, and savoring.

I follow my instincts. If I feel like I’m craving pretzels, I’m probably lacking salt. That may mean I’ll crack an egg (or two, three if I am looking for a meal) and put some salt on it. That way, I can get some protein, and get full while also satisfying a to address electrolyte imbalance.

I only lost weight when the voices around me told me that I can, and supported me in every step. Even if that first step was simply drinking more water, eating a lower percentage of salt per day as to lose water weight, sleep to regulate my circadian rhythm and metabolism, and balance out my hunger signals.

And I open this blog today, because I’m celebrating a day of independence: The day before Thanksgiving. And Thanksgiving is a day I will turn off the calorie counter, and have a relaxing meal without being told about how much I should weigh, or how much I should lose. That’s between me and my doctor!