*as of 5 of March 2026

Origami Around
almost home
Mike Driver

titsay
Three Goblin Art
Monterey Bay Aquarium

oozey mess
Stranger Things
taylor price
Game of Thrones Daily
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will byers stan first human second
Peter Solarz
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Claire Keane
Aqua Utopiaļ½ęµ·ć®åŗć§čØę¶ćē“”ć

blake kathryn

Janaina Medeiros
Misplaced Lens Cap
AnasAbdin
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seen from Sri Lanka

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@countdown-123
*as of 5 of March 2026
479 days post (top) surgery
I think I updated last telling y'all about the different hystorectomy methods my surgeon discussed. I'm not sure I talked about much else so I'll do a quick run down
I had a date scheduled for March, but got a new job right around the same time and didn't want to immediately get surgery (it would have been like 2 weeks after starting) so I postponed the surgery
this wasn't as hard of a decision as you might think. I want my uterus out but it's not causing me a lot of dysphoria unless my period comes back, which I avoid if I take my T regularly
so I've been at my new job a few months and I rescheduled the surgery for September 10th. I'll talk through some of the prep I'm doing, but it'll be similar to any surgery
I'm going to stop smoking (weed) at the end of June. I have a spray with THC in it that I'll use, cause I don't really have anything else to get high with (my state sucks and banned THC drinks recently ToT)
I should also eat more as much as possible so I can bulk up a bit and make the surgery easier on my body. having a store of calories makes it easier for your body to handle physical trauma (like a surgery)
other than that everything else doesn't start until a week before the surgery
I'll need to stop taking any blood thinners (Advil/ibuprofen) a week before surgery. I'll probably also stop any THC intake then too since I've heard that can impact anesthesia
I have a sheet of more detailed instructions from my surgeon I can copy over to another post here later
I'm excited to have a while off work. and with this job I should get my full pay while on leave because the short term disability is really good here
I have a letter from a DR for my hysto, but nothing from a therapist yet. I'm not sure if it's required, I'm waiting to hear from my surgeon's office. I have a therapist I see regularly who I can get a letter from. but if I need 2 I might struggle, since the therapist I saw for my 2nd letter for top surgery died
I did pictures for my pre and post top surgery comparison. I don't think there's much point for a hysto, but I can anyway, so people can see the scar?
Big updates!
So I've been working on getting a hysterectomy
I'm not sure if I mentioned that on this blog yet.
it can up first in January with my doctor who prescribes my T. I was having small periods every month and she said a hysto would solve it if upping my T dose doesn't work.
then at my phallo consult the dr said that a hysto would be necessary if I got a v-ect.
I've been having minor pms symptoms every month with major dysphoria spikes coinsiding. so I decided to work towards a hysto
AND OH BOY I'm so glad I did!
I'm the span of like 1 month I went from "maybe I want a hysto" to "my hysterectomy is scheduled for a little over a month away!"
let's talk through the appointments I had
1) I had an appointment with my primary gender Dr to say "I want a hysto, what are the next steps". I don't think this is a necessary step, but you will likely need to meet with a doctor for a letter at some point (I got my letter from her at this first appointment)
2) I scheduled an appointment with my gyno office. I have a very accepting gyno office where I have always been treated well. the appointment itself was a little difficult I will say because the surgical Dr did an exam on me. this involved (forcibly) putting her fingers up my vagina and shoving around a lot. this was pretty uncomfortable. I don't think she was trying to hurt me, she seemed kind overall, but she was firm with her pushes. it was a pretty violating experience, even compared to a pap smear, which I never found to be too bad. however, it was over quickly.
we discussed surgical options. there are surgeries where they can pull the whole thing out through the vagina, oh do part off the surgery through small homes in the abdomin and then the rest through the vagina. because my vagina is tight (no child + young + being on T) these are not possible for me. She mentioned robotic surgery but she would have to refer me to a different surgeon so she did not explain that option and we decided on the only remaining option, abdominal surgery.
they will cut open my abdomin, much like in a C-section, and pull out the uterus, ovaries, and tubes. there is the option to leave the ovaries and tubes in, but because they produce estrogen, I wanted them removed. now if I ever am forced off T I will not 'revert' to an estrogen system, I will be more like an old man or woman where they produce small amounts of androgens.
we discussed recovery times as well. I will be in the hospital for a few days, then I will need care for 1 week. no driving for 2 weeks post surgery, and no heavy work for 4. I should be good to go back to my physical job after 6-8 weeks.
then, to make it all better!? the wait time for surgery was really short! I called today and I am scheduled for surgery in just over a month (today is the 17th and surgery will be on the 28th of next month)!!!!!
I will likely need a letter from my PCP as well as a therapists letter for my insurance, but I'll only need to pay up to my deductible ($3000 for me, some people are higher) total for the entire surgery and recovery.
I'm just very glad that this surgery was so much easier than my top surgery! and I honestly think this will help my dysphoria a lot! even tho I don't think I'll see a difference in my looks, not getting PMS every month (and never being able to get pregnant) will be a wonderful change
I feel like hysterectomies are a less talked about part of trans masc transition so I'm happy to document my journey!
1 year since my surgery!
it's been a while since I've updated this blog. but honestly I don't think about it much anymore
I'm so much happier now obviously! and it feels so natural to have a flat chest ( tho I'm working out my upper body a lot to try to not be SO flat)
the only complications I have are 1. numbness in a fist-sized patch by my left shoulder and 2. part of my right incision scar is a dark blue/purple (bruise colors)
I have some sensation in my nipples, despite getting grafts and being told I would have no sensation there. it's only on the bud part (not the areolas) but it's enough to help when self-stimulating. I used to have Very sensative nipples though, so I'm not sure how consistent that part is between bodies
I think my range of motion is finally back to what it was. I've never been the most flexible but it took a while to be able to stretch as much as pre-surgery.
overall I'm just really happy ! this is a big milestone and I'm happy to celebrate a 1 year anniversary for something I wasn't sure would ever happen in the first place!
(this post is actually a day late since I slept most of the actual day, but happy March 4th so everyone. march fourth into the best part of your life! I love you)
photo dump below the read more
1 year since my surgery!
it's been a while since I've updated this blog. but honestly I don't think about it much anymore
I'm so much happier now obviously! and it feels so natural to have a flat chest ( tho I'm working out my upper body a lot to try to not be SO flat)
the only complications I have are 1. numbness in a fist-sized patch by my left shoulder and 2. part of my right incision scar is a dark blue/purple (bruise colors)
I have some sensation in my nipples, despite getting grafts and being told I would have no sensation there. it's only on the bud part (not the areolas) but it's enough to help when self-stimulating. I used to have Very sensative nipples though, so I'm not sure how consistent that part is between bodies
I think my range of motion is finally back to what it was. I've never been the most flexible but it took a while to be able to stretch as much as pre-surgery.
overall I'm just really happy ! this is a big milestone and I'm happy to celebrate a 1 year anniversary for something I wasn't sure would ever happen in the first place!
(this post is actually a day late since I slept most of the actual day, but happy March 4th so everyone. march fourth into the best part of your life! I love you)
vent
I'm tired of the tradeoffs of being trans! I'm sad that in order to feel less dysphoric about my chest I had to lose sensation in my nipples and have scars which ache when I smoke
I'm sad that I might have to choose between UL and keeping my vag. I'm sad that in order to pee standing up I'm going to lose some genital sensation and have a massive scar somewhere
like I get that's how the surgery works but damn I'm tired of giving up sensation in order to want to kill myself less!
like it's hard enough to feel joy and pleasure in this body and I have to make it more difficult?
Penis-Creating Bottom Surgery Masterpost
This is going to be a long post about penis-creating bottom surgery, also referred to separately as Phalloplasty and Metoidioplasty. For simplicity, I will be using their shortened versions, Phallo and Meta.
What are Phallo and Meta?
Phallo is a form of penis-creating bottom surgery that involves taking a skin graft from somewhere else on the body to create a penis. There are several places that this skin graft could be taken from. A forearm skin graft is the most common type, but thereās also skin grafts from the thigh, abdomen, back, and there is also a new graft site in the groin as of writing this, but few surgeons do this one, as itās very new. In this post, I will go over the different graft sites and information on all of them, as they have different results for each one.
Metoidioplasty is a form of penis-creating bottom surgery that largely uses your existing genitalia (ie. bottom growth) to create a penis. This penis will be considered a micropenis.
Which one is right for me?
They are each better fits for different people. You can also have both separately if you would like. Weāll get into non-traditional penis-creating bottom surgery as we go further.
For Phallo, consider the following:
-The size of your penis isnāt limited by your bottom growth. Within the ranges for each skin graft, you can typically choose around what size you want. However, it may grow or shrink post op.
-Besides the initial growing and shrinking post op, your penis will not change lengths between flaccid and erect states. Whatever size your penis is is going to be the size of your penis at all times. If you have a 5in penis at the end of this surgery, you will have both a 5in erect penis and a 5in flaccid penis.
-You will not be able to have unassisted erections. You will need either an internal or external erection device to get an erection. Also consider, no awkward unwanted erections and you can stay erect as long as you want.
-You will be of a size to penetrate a partner unassisted (though again, no unassisted erections).
-Different skin graft areas will have different benefits, but typically, the grafts that leave the most visible scarring (forearm and thigh) have the best erogenous sensation, while the grafts that leave minimal/no visible scarring will not have erogenous sensation. The forearm flap typically has the same erogenous sensation as your anatomy pre op, and while I hear different things about the thigh flap, people are typically happy with their erogenous sensation with it.
-Depending on what all you have done, expect 3 or more surgeries and potentially medical tattooing to get the aesthetics and functions that you want out of your penis.
-As of now, you cannot have foreskin with your Phallo penis. You can tattoo the foreskin on, but you will not have that separate moving skin layer.
-If you are bigger bodied, you may have trouble finding a surgeon willing to perform Phalloplasty on you, and certain skin grafts require a certain BMI limit.Ā
-No dick piercings post op Phallo.
For Meta, consider the following:
-You will have a penis about as big as your bottom growth is pre-op, and might not be able to penetrate someone without assistance (an external erection device).
-Your penis should have the same erogenous sensation as your anatomy pre-op
-You will have foreskin. You could probably get circumcised if you REALLY wanted to, but Iām not sure.
-If you are bigger bodied, you will probably need additional surgeries to get the skin out of the way of the penis (monsplasty).
-You will be able to get erect unassisted, just as your pre-op anatomy does.
Notice how Iām not making a pros/cons list. This is because some of these things are going to be neutral, negative, or positive for different people. Meta and Phallo are great choices for different people. One is not better or worse than the other, and different people require different penises. You might read all this and decide you want Meta instead of Phallo, or vice versa. Thatās fine! We should all be careful about how we talk about these surgeries, though. These are real peopleās bodies youāre talking about!
Designer Penis
Notice how Iāve only discussed the creation of the penis, and not other stuff such as Vaginectomy, Urethral Lengthening, ect? Thatās because all of these are opt-in and opt-out. You donāt have to have a Vaginectomy, Scrotoplasty, implants, or anything. But a lot of us do want/need these things, so Iāll list them here:
Universal:
-Urethral Lengthening/UL (rerouting the urethra through the penis)
-Vaginectomy (removal/closure of the vagina)
-Scrotoplasty (creation of the scrotum (sac))
-Testicular Implants (implants to create the testicles (not actual testicles))
Phallo extras:
-Clitorial Burial (āburyingā the bottom growth inside your penis and out of sight)
-Erection Implants (either the semi-rigid rod or inflatable pump, designed to give erections internally, work in different ways)
-Glansplasty (creation of the glans, the circumcised head of the penis)
-Medical Tattooing (aesthetic tattooing to give your penis a more ānaturalā look)
These are all completely optional, and you donāt need literally any of these to get the surgery. They are also typically mix and matchable, which means you can have any combination of these things. I will say that surgeons typically will not perform UL without a Vaginectomy (though not true for the inverse) so keep this in mind when looking for a surgeon.
Now that we have the universals out of the way, letās dive in deeper to each individual surgery.
Phalloplasty:
There are currently five areas where the surgeon will take skin grafts from. Weāre going to go over what each one entails so that you know which one is right for you.Ā
Forearm/RFF:
-Typically taken from the non-dominant forearm, but can be taken from the dominant forearm if needed
-Typically the highest potential for erogenous sensation out of all other techniques, will have tactile sensation
-Requires another skin graft (usually from the thigh) to cover the forearm where the skin graft was taken from
-If looking into UL, the UL graft is taken from the same place
-Requires permanent hair removal on AT LEAST the UL skin graft
-Very visible scar
-If all goes well, you will have full tactile and erogenous sensation
-Roughly between 4.5-6in in length, can ask for smaller
Thigh/ALT:
-Takes a skin graft from the outer thigh
-Typically not suitable for bigger bodied people (or just people who carry a lot of fat in their thighs)
-Typically results in a larger penis than RFF (can get up to 8-9in) with girth that may require multiple debulking sessions, but for length you can still typically decide what you want (though again, it can grow/shrink)
-Easier to conceal scar than RFF while still maintaining erogenous sensation, will have tacticle sensation
-May have less potential for erogenous sensation than RFF
-Higher risk of UL complications than RFF
Abdominal Flap:
-Uses graft from lower abdomen
-Scarring is very easy to conceal
-Is not typically done with UL, but can be (requires MUCH SMALLER forearm flap)
-No hair removal required
-Less invasive and faster recovery
-Do not expect more erogenous sensation than at the base. Can still orgasm through stimulating bottom growth if buried. Will have tactile sensation
-No nerve hookup
Back/MLD:
-UL done in multiple stages
-No erogenous sensation in penis, will have erogenous sensation in bottom growth. Typically no tactile sensation
-Typically less or no hair removal required
-Easier to hide scarring
-Larger penis, may need more debulking
-No nerve hookup
Groin Flap:
-Smaller penis
-Easy to conceal scarring
-No erogenous sensation, little tactile sensation. Can still orgasm through bottom growth
-Much less expensive than other methods
-No nerve hookup
-Inflatable erectile rod is not possible, but semi-rigid rod is
-Few surgeons do it
This is what Iāve found on each graft, if anyone who has had phallo wants to amend anything, let me know and I can edit this post.
Meta:
There are two different kinds of meta now!
Standard Meta:
-Will be about as long as your bottom growth is
-Cuts the ligaments holding your bottom growth in place and allows it to stand upright
-All universal extras above can be added
Extended meta:
-Can extend the length of your penis
-Typically done without UL, as it can negate the extension
On Implants
Not everyone will get testicular implants or erectile implants, but for those who do:
Testicular Implants:
Testicular implants for penis-creating bottom surgery come in 4 sizes: extra small, small, medium, and large. The size of your penis (and also Phallo or Meta) will be used to determine your implant size. You can always size up later.
Erectile Implants:
Because Phallo isnāt made with erectile tissue, your post op Phallo penis cannot have an unassisted erection. However, they make implants for this. There are two kinds, the saline inflatable pump, and the semi rigid rod. The inflatable pump can only be used if your penis is over 4.5in long. The pump is stored in one side of your sac (so you will be missing one testicular implant for the pump) and you squeeze it to get an erection. The semi rigid rod is always hard, so you will always have a āsemiā erect penis, but all you have to do is position it for sex.
Alternatives to Erectile Implants:
Erectile implants can have complications, and some people donāt want to have their erectile implant replaced every 7 years or so. So there are alternatives:
-The Elator (made for cis men with ED, but has opened up to people with Phalloplasty and have actual instructions for them: https://www.theelator.com/pages/phalloplasty?srsltid=AfmBOorfyW_y3hhobjh-Z1CJ30k_xQaEFPzphX4jJK-eftxAq_hgHjnJ)
-Other erection sleeves you can buy online
We as trans men are not the only or even the first men to have needed erectile assistance devices. Every method of erectile assistance has been made with cis men in mind first. Not even Phalloplasty was created with trans men in mind, it was originally made for cis men. Donāt feel ashamed of needing it!
Non-traditional Penis-Creating bottom surgery
There are many options with penis-creating bottom surgery to have genitals that are separate from perceived male/female anatomy. Some examples are:
-Both Phallo and Meta, leaving you with two penises. You can only have a urethra out of one of them. You can also opt out of a Vaginectomy and have a vagina as well
-Penis and vagina, you can have either Phallo or Meta and opt out of a vaginectomy, and have both a functioning penis and vagina
-Phallo can look like many different things. You can tattoo your penis to have anything on it. Many people have tattoos on their penis (besides just medical tattooing). Go crazy with it!
-You donāt have to get a scrotum
-Simple Release Meta (Meta without Scrotoplasty, Vaginectomy, UL, ect) exists just to put your penis where you want it
Look into the Salmacian community, there is a subreddit for them! r/Salmacian! Alternatively, r/Altersex for people who identify outside of the male/female sex binary who werenāt born intersex.
NOTE FOR PERISEX PEOPLE: Getting surgery to have both a penis and a vagina, or otherwise atypical anatomy DOES NOT MAKE YOU INTERSEX. Being intersex is something you are born as, you cannot ātransition toā intersex. You can, however, transition to be altersex. Please be mindful of your language regarding intersexuality. When in doubt, ask real intersex people, we exist! A lot of us are trans and are in the same spaces you are!
How do I go about getting Phallo or Meta?
Answering for the US, because thatās where I live and I have no idea what goes on anywhere else.
That is a question for your insurance provider. Typically, they will need at least 2 letters, one from a mental health provider and one from either a PCP or a hormone provider. From there:
-Check whoās in network with your insurance
-Pick a surgeon. You may need a referral from a doctor, call their office and find out. They should also have a website
-See their requirements. Some have BMI requirements. Check wait times, reviews, talk to others who have had surgery with them
-If all is well, they should schedule you for a consultation. If youāre sure about what skin graft youāre using, do the preparations ASAP (laser, ect.)
-Donāt be afraid to schedule multiple consultations with different surgeons! This is going to be your penis for the rest of your life! Be picky! Be selfish!
-You will probably need your letters and everything within a year of the surgery, and you may need to have them written again at least once to stay current. Ugh, insurance
I want more resources!
Understandable! There are many different places to find more information and personal accounts on Phallo and Meta. Notably, I use the r/Phallo and r/Metoidioplasty subreddits for penis-creating bottom surgeries. Both subreddits have hundreds of post op people sharing their stories, photos, advice, ect.
Alternatively, TransBucket is a website where many post op people share their surgery photos.
There are Facebook groups for Phallo and Meta as well, look into those!
Closing notes
I am not the single bearer of knowledge on the subject here, Iām only just now having my first consultation with a surgeon in July. This post is a compilation of resources regarding Phallo and Meta. If anything is wrong or needs to be updated, let me know and Iāll get that sorted. Otherwise, join communities of people who have had these surgeries and want to help others to have them, and get to talking! Do your own research! And good luck in your future penis endeavors!
God I just need to vent about this and I feel like this blog fits
I'm planning to get phaloplasty now. I don't know the details of what I want but I know I want it. so I've been trying to get my consolation appointment scheduled (interestingly I don't need to bring nearly as many documents to this appointment as I had to for my top surgery)
Here's the journey I've gone through so far:
1) request a referral from my PCP. the clinic is supposed to call me within a few weeks. I never get the call, so a few months later (yeah my bad I got focused on other things) I reach out to my PCP to get the number to call the clinic myself.
2) turns out the referral didn't go through, so they send it again. again I wait and don't get a call, so I reach out for a number to call. This time I get a number.
3) I call the number I was given by my PCP. I am transferred to a new line to register as a new patient. after registering I stay I need to schedule a phalloplasty consolation appointment. after some confusion on the other end I am transferred to another number to schedule the appointment.
4) I schedule my first appointment for the first time. wonderful, it's just a few weeks away.
5) I fill out the mychart document they send me
6) I get a message from the doctor I'm supposed to see saying approximately "you already got top surgery, I do top surgeries. why did you schedule with me?" I respond back that I scheduled for phalloplasty, not top surgery. I am given another number to call instead.
7) I call the new number. I follow a automated phone tree and end up at a voice mail. The voicemail says I should leave my information and they will get back with me to schedule "within 3 business days". ok fine. whatever.
8) I go on mychart to cancel my top surgery appointment. It can't be cancelled online. Fine.
9) I call the number the website gives. I speak to a very nice woman who helps me cancel my appointment. She asks why I need to cancel and I explain the problem. She says she can schedule me for the phallo consult now. awesome! I schedule for the phallo consult on the same day as my cancelled appointment ("this Dr is great! people wait months to see him! this is very lucky!") ok! we're good to go
10) I get a call later that day. it's the same kind woman. "sorry, we actually have to schedule phallo consults through a different department. I'm going to wait with you as I transfer you to another line and explain everything to them" well at least she was nice about it. I schedule a new appointment with a different doctor at a new location. This appointment is a bit further out but only a week from the day I scheduled. ok, back on track
11) I get a call today. "actually we can't do this appointment at this location. we'll have to schedule at our main location". fine, just give me the soonest appointment available, I'll make it work. So this newest appointment is for 2 weeks from now. This is the 4th appointment I've been scheduled for. Sure hope this one doesn't get cancelled or changed.
I'm just tired
bad art of the day
200 days since my surgery
Wow, so much has happened since recovery. I've moved and gotten a better position at my job! I've made many new friends and joined new groups
I'm living my life entirely as a man now. No longer do I slip into the women's restroom if the men's is full or if I'm not passing well that day. The only time I get she/her'd now is when I'm on the phone and not paying attention to my voice. (my parents still misgender me of course. they'll never stop)
my healing is going well! I noticed recently that my scars are actually starting to be less prominent. the skin is also much less stiff around the scars now! I still have numbness on my left pec and my nipples still have a weird texture. I'm not sure if these things will ever truly heal.
lately Ive wished I had asked more about periariolar surgery or keyhole surgery. I'm happy to not have boobs but I think my results would be more natural if I had not just gone with what my surgeon mentioned and actually asked about other surgery types
two famous pairs of red and blue
157days since my top surgery
hi I wanted to update because I recently found the subreddit r/phallo
I've known for a bit that I was interested in bottom surgery but I wanted to see what was possible. after seeing pictures and video, hearing other folks stories, I know I want a dick
I technically have a referral already from my gender care dr to a surgeon. they were supposed to call me but they haven't so I'll need to check in. I believe this will take a long time
from referral to surgery was about a year for me, for top surgery, and I'm still recovering really. my nerves are still connecting (I have numb patches) and my skin is still tight around the scarring
so I don't want to get too excited cause then my dysphoria will get really bad again
but I see a future for myself. I am so excited to be able to stand to pee some day. I am so tired of waiting for a stall when I just need to pee!
and for every note on This post ill take a drink <3 feel free to spam btw
I cannot wait to have top surgery scars. I want to feel them under my fingers and know that I am finally free. I want to show them off to the world as proof that I survived a body that tried to kill me. I want to admire them in the mirror and know that my outsides match my insides. Itās going to be beautiful.
you say you hate cops and the military and people start talking about their family members like man idgaf your cousin is going to hell
123 days since my surgery!
I'm glad I looked at my countdown app today or I would have missed this!
I don't have crazy much to say about my surgery recovery.
I had my final check up w my surgeon and there's no concerns. I've been fully cleared for a while
however I was smoking a lot over the last few weeks and it was making my chest hurt (like the scars, not my lungs) so I've been cutting back a LOT
I keep either Vaseline, lotion, or scar tape on my scars as much as I can. lotion is nice cause it doesn't get on my clothes like Vaseline. the scar tape is kinda expensive (like 10 bucks per roll, a roll lasts me like 5? applications, but I could make it last longer if I didn't put it on my nipples too) so I only put it on if I know I won't need to shower for a day or so
besides that, I'm just so happy to finally be free
I saw the pics I took before surgery and it jump scared me so much!
I feel so hot now, and I take a many more pictures of myself because I like how I look!
I go shirtless around my house most of the time. I love just wearing athletic shorts with nothing else
what else?
my range of motion is still reduced but I really think it's a skin tightness rather than muscles? I'm getting a lot of stretch marks above my nipples because I think my surgeon pulled the skin too tight there (but I'd rather that than having loose skin or dog ears). I try to keep everything moisturized but I'm not sure its helping, or if there's something better to help it. but I'm able to do everything in my daily life, it's just lifting my arms straight up and stretching that's a bit difficult.
I'm so happy with my decisions and with my life. please, if you're thinking about getting top surgery, please do it. it's so freeing!