the girl who waited.

Don't really know what I'm doing here. I'm just gonna bum around for a while, pay no mind. :)

[rob-pattinson]

STEVEN YEUN 2022 | Sebastian Sabal-Bruce ph. for Mr Porter

[cracksinthewalls]

@thoughtslikeaminefield 😳

[minefield-of-a-ninja]

Summary: Where did Ben go after Legend’s and before visiting Countess’ sanctuary?

Characters and pairings: Soldier Boy/Ben x female character, The Legend

Words: 2900

Tags/warnings: explicit, rough-ish sex

Author’s notes: love and thank you to @cracksinthewalls and @wayward-and-worn for pre-reads and poking. ♥️

+++++++

“Gonna have to burn those clothes, the stink alone...” the Legend mutters, trying not to stare — but he’s right fucking there, stalking through his penthouse like the Ghost of Glory Days Past.

As the former SVP of Hero Management follows the trail of ratty trainers and a filthy tracksuit, he retrieves his phone from his pocket to dial housekeeping and anything else his guest might want.

“So, uh, yeah, help yourself to whatever.” His master bath is cavernous, modern, and sophisticated. The tension that seizes the thick shoulders of his unexpected visitor roils the air. Luckily, he mastered the perfect tone to ease that familiar tension decades ago. “Straight ahead there, just hit the second button on the left, you’ll like it.”

Ben rumbles a deep growl before the hot spray of water and billowing steam enshrouds his immaculate shape.

Soldier Boy is alive as a shadow of his former self, traumatized by whatever he’s been through. No matter how this experience has changed the soldier, whether it be a knock-down or an epic fucking glow-up, the Legend salivates over the public relations extravaganza Ashley Barrett is about to enjoy.

“I’ll order ya somethin’ to eat,” he calls over his shoulder as he turns to exit the bathroom. “Getcha a beer and a little pick-me-up.”

Ben closes his eyes and breathes in and out in the moist heat. He lets his lungs expand and contract, feels his chest grow heavy then light. He tries not to think of the screams and the smoke and debris from moments before, only what’s in front of him at the moment.

Once he’s able to imagine something less terrifying than the aftermath of whatever he exacted upon those innocent people, he opens his eyes and begins to clean himself.

After his shower, he walks out of the bathroom to find his old suit, shield, and boots on a headless mannequin in a rolling cabinet.

“Thought you might want that, am I right?” The Legend’s inquiry cuts through the panic that threatens to grip Ben’s heart and lungs.

“Why the fuck else would I be here?” he asks.

The Legend hands him a pile of street clothes. “You can’t go out like that, though.”

Ben drops the ribbed tank and baseball jersey to the bed to pull on the sweatpants as the Legend strides toward his bedside.

“Knife?” he asks.

“On it,” the Legend kneels in front of an unassuming-looking nightstand, opens a door, presses his hand to a lit screen, and a panel pops open. “Right here in my personal vault for safe keeping.”

Ben huffs a wry laugh and shakes his head. By the time he’s dressed, his host is at his side, arm extended, hilt outward. His eyes flick to the other man’s gaze. The Legend is a smart man. He’s dependable, predictable, and trustworthy if you’re on the right side.

But Ben’s been away for a long time and nothing is what it once was.

He accepts the knife and then looks up again, catching a tinge of concern in the Legend’s eyes. “Don’t you wanna know where I’ve been? Or maybe you already know.”

Ben secures the knife’s sheath to his hip to later conceal under the jersey. He’s impressed that the Legend keeps a cool head in the face of Ben’s accusation.

“Where, or how you’ve been, is none of my business, but you’re gonna need a plan.”

He turns his back on Ben to demonstrate that he has nothing to fear and leads the barefoot, shirtless superhero, armed with a hunting knife out into his dining area. In the middle of the table are a bucket of Budweiser on ice and a hand mirror with two expertly cut lines of coke.

“There’s a cheeseburger on the way. Once you’re fed and feeling a little more like yourself we can catch up on a few things.”

“No. Now.” Ben jerks a sweating bottle of beer from the bucket and flicks the cap from the mouth and across the room before tipping the bottle back and gulping it down at once. “Saw Noir larger than life on a fucken billboard. Where’s everybody else?”

“Swatto was shot out of the sky the same day you disappeared, but as far as I know, everyone else is alive.”

“Where?”

“Don’t know exactly, but I can find out.”

“Do that. Countess first.”

The Legend nods and pulls his phone from his pocket again. “I’ll make a few calls.”

Ben heads back to the bedroom to pack his suit and shield and finish getting dressed. Fifteen minutes later, the Legend returns to find him at the table indulging and imbibing.

“Vought’s new theme park, chimpanzee sanctuary. She’s got a trailer at the site.” He hands Ben a small piece of paper with directions to find his former lover.

Ben rolls his eyes. “Her and those fucken monkeys,” he mutters, setting the mirror aside to sniff and pinch his nose clean before accepting the piece of paper. “What else?”

“Story was, the Russians held Countess back, gassed you with something, then left with your body. She claimed she heard your heart stop.”

Ben closes his eyes and grinds his teeth.

“Halothane. That’s how they controlled me the first few years but I built up a tolerance to it, so they kept me on ice when they weren’t…”

His eyes flutter and twitch. The Legend proceeds with the intel to distract them both from whatever it is the Russians did to him while he was awake.

“Edgar didn’t press your team any further than he had to. Some of us thought it was a cover-up, nobody could be sure. But they all got separate gigs where each was the star of their own show. That was the end of Payback.”

“‘Cept Noir. He’s on the new team.” Ben motions to the window from where they can clearly see a billboard for the latest superhero team.

“Yeah, if you can call it that.” The Legend scoffs, and Ben arches a brow. “Not much of a fan of these new supes, buncha prima donnas.”

“Huh. Forty fucken years.” He murmurs, staring out the window.

“‘Bout that.” The Legend retrieves a clip of neatly folded bills from his pocket. “Here. Get ya hair cut and trim that marmot on ya face.”

Something tugs a bit of mirth into the corner of Ben’s mouth. “Claudio still around?” he asks, accepting and pocketing the cash.

The Legend nods. “Moved to Brooklyn, though, 46th Street.”

Ben echoes his nod as he swipes the last of the coke from the mirror with two wide fingertips before rubbing it into his gums.

“Thanks, Legend,” he says, hoisting his new bag full of his only possessions left in the world onto his shoulder. “You never saw me.” He winks before turning and walking away.

“What? I’m not even seein’ ya now!” he calls after the soldier’s retreating form before hearing the door to his penthouse click shut.

+++++++

“Ben? It can’t be…” the old man whispers, removing his glasses to clean them just as he squints into the afternoon sun streaming around the visitor at his door.

Claudio Caponigro is an institution in New York City. After 1952, no one cut Ben’s hair or beard but the Italian immigrant. Even at 10 years his senior, Ben always considered Claudio a father figure of sorts. He admired his work ethic and the quick and quiet way he did his craft.

“Claudio,” he greets the old man with zero attempts at an explanation. “If you can’t tell, I could use a shave and a haircut. ‘S been a while.”

“What a pleasure, Ben! Come. Sit!” He spins his chair to invite the old guard to sit before scurrying to gather his tonic and tools.

As Ben relaxes into the tufted cushion, Claudio begins muttering in Italian. Ben knows enough of the language to understand that Claudio is disappointed in his lack of grooming, which in turn makes Ben laugh.

Same old trinkets and memorabilia adorn Claudio’s shelves and walls as the last time payback was here. Ben’s attention and his eyes dance around nostalgia until the trill of a telephone cuts through the silence.

“Claudio, when’d you get a phone?” Ben chuckles, remembering the Baker’s kids from two doors down coming for Claudio when his family called the bakery asking when he’d be home for dinner.

“Claudio’s Barber Shoo,” a feminine voice floats through the air. Ben can’t see her, but her voice makes him warm.

“Ehh, my granddaughter, she said I had to come to the 21st century with a phone.” He deftly sprays and combs tonic through Ben’s hair. “Giovanna, take a message.”

“Giovanna, your daughter?” Ben twists in the chair until he spots a leggy, olive skinned goddess in the back room.

“You remember Gigi,” Claudio chuckles.

Of fucking course he remembers Gigi. She was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. Countess hated the kid. Ben always assumed she was jealous.

“Why don’t you just fuck her and get it over with, Ben?”

“She’s a kid, give her a break,” he replied, smiling and waving for the crowd.

“That didn’t stop you with Diane Lane.”

“Diane Lane is 19.”

“Whatever. Let’s get this fucking photo op over with.”

“All grown up, I see.” Ben purrs to the old man who pays him no mind.

“She has grown children of her own, Ben. She and her girls help me with the business since I don’t see numbers so good no more.” Claudio leans in and whispers, “Her ex husband is garbage.”

Claudio stands straight again and calls out to his daughter. “Gigi! Come see who’s here!”

“Pops, it’s close to dinner time. This is the last-”

Giovanna stops in her tracks and her eyes go wide. “Soldier Boy...” she breathes.

Ben puts on his most winning smile and bats his eyelashes the way women have always liked. “When I’m not in uniform, I usually go by Ben.”

Gigi blinks and shakes her head. “Wow,” she whispers as she slowly regains her footing and walks the rest of the way into the main shop. “I can’t...”

Ben nods. “I know. I couldn’t believe it either, kiddo, but I’m free. Came to see your pops to get cleaned up, didn’t expect to see you.”

Gigi’s cheeks flush hot and she drops her eyes. That demure submissive thing makes him so hard.

She’s taller than she was as a teen, longer legs and curves in all the right places; but the same fresh, clean beauty. Guileless is the word that Edgar used to describe Gigi’s charm back in the day.

The thought of Edgar tightens Ben’s lungs again, so he breathes in deep before looking up at her as she approaches.

Her brow above her dark eyes is lined with worry, but her gaze is on fire.

“Pops, you should walk down and meet Marisa and Joey, pick up the dinner Ma ordered.”

“Have you seen this beard?!” Claudio complains.

“I’m sitting right here.” Ben laughs.

Gigi chuckles and shakes her head. “I’ll handle the beard,” she replies, striding to the door to flip the sign to CLOSED and draw the blinds. “You’ve had a long day.”

“OK, OK.” Claudio sighs, setting his hair tools aside to be sanitized. “I do the hair, Gigi does the beard. Even trade.”

Claudio retrieves his hat and situates it just right atop his head before turning one last time. “You take care, Ben.”

“Ciao, Claudio,” Ben calls, as the old man shuffles out the door.

Giovanna clears her throat then spins and reclines the chair to wash, trim, and condition his beard. She massages his temples, his jaws, his neck, and shoulders.

She revels in touching him the way she’s always wanted. Ben begins to hum through a sly smile and it sends a vibration through her bones.

“You grew up, Gigi.” He blinks his eyes open, looking up at her.

There’s a hint of playful accusation in his tone and his eyes that makes her cheeks hot again.

“God, you’re here 10 minutes and I’m already blushing like that awkward little 14-year-old with a crush.”

Gigi backs away and turns to wash and dry her hands. Ben sits up and rights the chair before standing and sidling up behind her at the sink.

“You had a crush on me?”

Gigi scoffs and arches a brow in the mirror. “Like you didn’t know.”

“Heard about your husband.” He crowds in, wrapping his hands around her rib cage. “Maybe you need a rebound.”

Gigi closes her eyes and relaxes into the solid wall of muscle at her back. Ben dips in to press full, damp lips to the side of her throat as his hands work on the sash around her waist.

“Talk to me, doll.”

“About what?” She gasps when he spins her and takes her bottom lip between his, then uses his teeth.

“Anything. Just wanna hear you.”

He turns and walks her backward to the table five feet away then lifts her on top, rucking her skirt around his wrists. Gigi doesn’t think about the words, she just starts rambling.

“I was 14 when I had my first real kiss.”

Ben nips at her jaw on the way down her throat and then grips her knees tight and yanks her forward.

“Fuck, you were already gone but I thought about you anyway. The whole time.”

Ben groans, sliding his hands back upward to trace the edges of her silky panties. His mouth meets hers again for a practiced kiss, not too much tongue, but enough insistence that he already knows the answer to the question he’s about to ask.

“Was the kiss any good? Anything like this?” He doesn’t wait for an answer before kissing her again, breathless this time.

“No way,” she answers, wiggling under his rough hands as he toys with the damp fabric between her legs. “Take ‘em off?”

“You got it.”

Ben reaches across his hips for his knife. Before Gigi can register what he’s about to do, he’s done it, and her underwear is a scrap of dirty silk on the floor.

“Tell me more,” he says, setting the knife aside to unbutton her blouse. “Tell me…” Ben bites his lip at the sight of her breasts swelling over the top of a sheer pink bra. “Tell me about the first time someone sucked on these beautiful tits.”

Ben licks his lips and brushes his thumbs across the gauzy fabric, watching her dark nipples quickly harden before pulling the cups down to expose them.

“Summer camp 1987. It was a dare. Two boys, one touching, one tasting.” Her breath hitches when Ben begins to mimic what she’s saying.

“Did you come?” he asks around a mouthful of flesh.

She shakes her head and closes her eyes. “I was too scared.”

As Ben switches breasts, he asks, “are you scared now?”

“No, please.” She wraps her legs tightly around his hips and squeezes.

“Good girl.” He blows a stream of cool air across both wet nipples as he pushes her legs open again and slides his free hand between her thighs to stroke her clit. “You wanna come?”

“I just want you. This. Anything you want.”

Ben gives her a pitying look with an edge of something she doesn’t recognize. “You should take that back, doll. And be a little more specific.”

He hooks a finger inside her as he circles her clit with his thumb and begins to pinch and twist her taut nipples.

“You look so dirty with your tits spilling into my hands and your hungry cunt sucking my fingers.” He pushes a second finger inside her and she leans back on her elbows, arches her back, and spreads her legs wider.

“Yes, fuck.”

Ben grips and smacks her breasts, one at a time as he ramps up the thrusts of his hand between her legs.

“You know what I want, Giovanna? I want you to come, and I wanna hear you say my name. Because no little summer camp boy and no deadbeat daddy has ever made you come like I can, and no one ever will.”

“Ben,” she whispers. “Fuck, Ben, I’m gonna come.”

He snarls and grips one of her breasts tight then dives in to suck the other as he slams into her with two fingers and his thumb furiously works her clit.

“Say my fucking name and come,” he growls.

She gasps and arches almost completely off the stainless steel tabletop. “Ben!”

“That’s right, good girl.” He eases away from her to reach his bag, rifling through it for the condoms he snagged from Legend’s bathroom.

When he turns back to Gigi, she’s settling on her knees at his feet.

“Well, shit. I’ve only got so much time today, Giovanna.” He swipes her dark hair out of her face and over her shoulders as she works his sweatpants over his hips and pulls his hard cock free. “So if you really wanna suck my dick till I come down that pretty throat, I guess I’ll have to come back for that pussy and ass later.”

Gigi closes her eyes and hums as she guides him into her welcoming mouth and swallows him down.

+++++++

As Ben stands vibrating in the center of a trailer belonging to the woman he once believed he loved, struck by the full-force of her hatred and betrayal, he allows himself to succumb to the crush in his chest and burn the place to the ground.

He walks out feeling lighter than he’s felt since he was freed by the limey cocksucker following him into the woods, thinking about what he has to look forward to the next time he sees sweet Giovanna.

[cracksinthewalls]

Wheeeee!

We’re not getting nearly enough Soldier Boy in the show, so here - have some more!

[memewhore]

[snickerdoodlesandsausages]

How to Stay Cool Without A/C

A lot of Northerners were very kind during the freeze in Texas this winter with tips on how to stay warm for people who had lost heat. This is an attempt to repay that favor for people in the Pacific Northwest and other northerly locations who are facing dangerous heatwaves without built-in A/C. My qualifications to give this advice are that I was a summer camp attendee and counselor with no A/C for many summers in humid-ass central Texas with highs over 100F basically every day. Hopefully some of it will be of use to somebody who isn’t used to the heat.

1) PUT ICE WATER IN YOUR BODY. Ice water is your best friend and the #1 way to drop your body temp. Drink more than you think you need (like, at least a half-gallon a day and closer to a gallon or more if you have to be outside doing manual work all day) to cool your insides down and stay hydrated. Have some bananas, trail mix, or a sports drink to help replace the electrolytes you’re sweating out and keep you from getting cramps, but try to have most of your fluid intake be water. I used to take a giant water bottle, fill it part way with water, and freeze it on its side so the ice would slowly melt over the course of the day and my water would stay cold longer.

2) PUT ICE WATER ON YOUR BODY. Cold water, ice, or a damp rag on your head and neck, the backs of your knees, the insides of your elbows, and under your armpits will help you cool down the best, because your blood runs close to the surface in those places. Cold packs designed for injuries or lunchboxes, bags of frozen vegetables, etc. can substitute for ice water as well. Even room-temp water will pull heat away from your body better than body-temp sweat will, especially if it’s humid, so if you don’t have enough ice, the sink, bathtub, or hose will do fine. Dipping your feet into cool water helps a ton as well if you have to sit and work and don’t want your clothes to be wet.

3) WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GET SO MUCH ICE?  To make sure you have enough ice to last you the weekend, especially through a potential power failure, I recommend getting a cooler (even one of the cheap styrofoam ones is fine in a pinch) and ~10lbs of ice from the big coolers at most gas stations, drug stores, or grocery stores. Try to do this now, before anybody loses power, and store as much in your freezer as you have space for to keep it from melting. You can use it for drinking or to keep your food cold in a power failure. You can use it for a party later if you don’t end up needing it during the heat wave, but you will probably be very happy you had it.

4) AIR FLOW. Being inside a room with the windows closed is the worst possible place to be if you don’t have A/C, because glass windows create a greenhouse effect and the hot air can’t escape. If at all possible, find a shaded place outside where you can catch any possible breeze. If not, open all your windows and, if it’s safe, doors so you can get a cross-breeze. Hopefully you have window screens to keep pets and kids in and bugs out. If not, you’re gonna have to do your own risk assessment. Fans of all sizes and descriptions are your friend; ceiling fans should be set to spin counterclockwise in summer. Even if you have A/C, finding or making a handheld fan will be worthwhile for when you have to venture outside. If you aren’t in a situation where you need to conserve ice, blowing air over a cooler full of ice will give you a makeshift A/C. 

5) SHADE. You will probably immediately notice that direct sunlight is a miserable place to be when it’s super hot. Find or make a shaded location, and don’t be afraid to move around to avoid the sun as the day goes on. Stay on the shady side of the sidewalk whenever you walk someplace. Try to shade your windows as best you can without obstructing airflow using blinds, curtains, shutters, etc. especially if they’re directly in the path of the sun. Do not be a jerk to your neighbors if their shade solutions are ugly. If you can get a shade for your car windshield, I highly recommend it, as the steering wheel, dashboard, seatbelts, and even seats can quickly become too hot to touch in a sealed car and will hold that heat for a long time.

6) CLOTHING. Light-colored, loose clothing that is as close to 100% cotton or linen as you can find is your friend. It doesn’t necessarily have to be short as long as it’s breathable. You will sweat through anything you wear, so I personally prefer only wearing machine-washable stuff. Sun hats, sunscreen, sunglasses, aloe gel for sunburns, mosquito repellent, anti-chafing supplies, etc are all worth looking into if you aren’t used to spending time in the heat.

7) TIMING. Try to stay out of the sun and avoid doing anything strenuous in the middle of the day when the heat is the worst. If you have a choice, plan to be more active early in the morning and late at night when the temperature is more bearable, and take a break in the middle of the afternoon.

Here’s a graphic from the CDC about how to recognize heat-related illnesses and what to do about them. I will add to this that if it’s hot and you stop sweating, you are getting to a dangerous level of dehydration and need to drink something BEFORE you start having more serious problems.

[solarpunkcitizen]

With all the heatwaves this needs to go around again.

[finish-it-fest]

Alexis’ side of family by artsyspikedhair

Alexis Rose was a protagonist, and her family were mere side characters.

… … .

I’ll Kiss You in the Morning by brrose

Patrick explains to David that “I Love You” means never having to say you’re sorry for morning breath.

… … .

Mistakes We Knew We Were Making by ApothecaRose

The first time David Rose met Patrick Brewer was on the playground when he was in first grade.

This is the story of their friendship through the years, and of the many (many) mistakes that eventually lead to their happiness.

… … .

You just wanna feel what can’t be known by sspaz1000

Patrick likes nipple play. David gives it to him. That’s it. That’s the fic.

… … .

Creators, don’t forget to update the publication date of your work. Readers, you know what to do!

[kalemakar]

every friend group has… (in/sp)

[flodaya]

#character figuring out he is bisexual  bathed in bisexual lighting gotta be my favourite genre

[drtrinitysantos]

the pride and prejudice girlies: [fighting over whether Colin Firth or Matthew Macfadyen is the better Darcy]

Conrad Ricamora: hold my tiny ice cream

[cracksinthewalls]

@thoughtslikeaminefield 😍

[mallpretzles]

Rose Apothecary is ready for Pride!

Flowers from local vendors represent the pride colors Patrick and David identify with.

AND they have compromised on holding a open mic Pride night to celebrate!

[sweatersinthesummer]

Stevie the shit-stirrer.

[bowieography]

[sparkylurkdragon]

Here’s the thing about LGBT+ vs. Queer.

I’m ace, nonbinary, and demiromantic. With LGBT+ I’m included in the plus. And I’m happy to be included! Indeed, folks pointedly using LGBT without the plus makes my hackles raise.

But. I am sick of being in the fucking plus sign like an afterthought.

And no, adding more to the alphabet soup doesn’t help that feeling. There’s a limit to what human brains can cram in. I don’t think it’s reasonable to make folks say an increasingly long acronym every time they mention the community. I appreciate the effort, but you’re always going to either leave someone out or cram them into the miscellaneous field the plus sign represents.

With Queer I’m just there, alongside my queer siblings. The details may be different, but I’m just as queer as a cis allo gay man or a trans allo straight woman or a genderfuck individual.

We already tried to meet folks who don’t like queer as a word halfway with MOGAI. Marginalized Orientations, Gender Alignment, and Intersex. It’s inclusive without using the Dreaded Q-Word. Surely, if the objection was to “queer” as a Terribly Traumatizing Word (just like, oh, every other word used for us: “gay” was the slur of choice where I was growing up), MOGAI would be the perfect solution, yes?

And yet, that was thrown back into our faces and turned into an insult. So, at that point, I said fuck it and fuck you. I’m queer, and if its inclusivity makes you mad, good.

[fairweathermyth]

Look at his tan. Looks great. The lighting’s right. Maybe Stevie should take a few candid shots and see what happens.

[spikesdru]

buffy the vampire slayer + text posts

[jadedaceofspades]

US SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE IS CHANGING ITS NUMBER

Taking effect July 2022, the US Suicide Prevention Hotline will change from 800-273-8255 to the three digit code of 988. Especially with families and communities reeling from back to back tragedies, it is super important to share this information!

Repeat: Starting July 2022, the US Suicide Prevention Hotline will be 988

[gardenvarietydespair]

Important add-ons, though, as someone who’s done policy work on this: 

It’s July 16, not just the start of July.

988 can not only be used as the suicide hotline, but for any sort of mental health or substance use crisis situation. As opposed to 911, the goal of 988 is that when dispatch is necessary, you’ll be met with a trained crisis response team rather than the police. The police will only be involved if there is an immediate threat to safety, which has almost never occurred in pilot programs - in one of the most well-known, Denver STAR, (which a lot of y’all seem to be familiar with) the police has actually never been called for backup. We’re hoping that this is going to get more individuals directed towards help rather than a prison cell. 

Uhm yeah I’ll add more stuff if I can think of anything.

[jadedaceofspades]

Thank you for the added information. Reblog this version as well, folkz.

[ao3commentoftheday]

when you end up shipping it by accident

[ao3commentoftheday]

When you’re tired of shipping drama