Can we talk about being neurodivergent and going from always masking to not at all.
This is relevant to how I write Rumi in What it takes to love a demon [Nothing at all] too by the way.
Ok so has anyone else gotten to a point in their life where they stop masking and start doing the things they need to do to feel regulated ie. Stimming, not-going to social gatherings for as long, accepting and working with overstimulation etc, and then find that when things get tough and you try to fall back on strategies that use to help, you can't do them anymore?
Like I used to be able to sit still when I needed to but now I am constantly moving and to expect otherwise from me is useless and unnecessary most of the time. But it frustrates me that I physically can't do it anymore.
I have healthier coping strategies now so most of the time I use those but in really hard situations I can't fall back on what used to keep me safe
Anyways... the way this applies to Rumi
It is of my humble opinion that Rumi has severe anxiety. And I imagine that like me irl, she just pushed it down as best she could. Because of course a demon hunting idol didn't have time for panic attacks. Celine instilled in her that her faults were not to be seen and so they weren't
Until everything fell apart and she was forced to accept all the parts of herself she hated.
But once Mira and Zoey forgave her– once she had her family back, she thought everything would go back to normal. Except now her anxiety feels different. Now the beating of her heart in her ears and the lack of oxygen entering her lungs is unignorable. How did she do this before? Why can't it just not bother her like last time?
And so now she has no choice but to continue to confront "faults" she's hidden for so long. Because repairing something doesn't return it to its original state, it allows it to continue on as something new, something changed, like Kintsugi. (Japanese art of repairing with gold)
And she will learn new ways to cope. Zoey and Mira will help her through it too.
But she'll also learn– eventually– that these things are a part of her, and that's ok too.
I found Rumi laying in a the field today. We hadn't been training or anything, she wasn't out of breath... she just said that the sun felt nice on her skin.
August 16th, 2013
Celine ordered a new training dummy this week and I found Rumi sitting in the box. Not doing anything, just... sitting. I asked her about it and she just shrugged and said it was big enough to sit in. Like what!?
October 31st, 2013
I scared the crap out of Rumi today! She was so spooked she jumped high enough to stick her saingeom in the ceiling and hang off of it. It kinda Reminded me of that poor cat from the princess and the frog movie. Next year, I wanna take her to a haunted house.
December 7th, 2013
Rumi fell asleep while we were binging Christmas movies. I snapped a quick photo of her because OMG she curled up on Mira's lap and her tongue was out like those kittens. SHE DID THE BLEP. She was also purring and I tried to get a sound bite of it because who wouldn't want to hear Rumi purring in a song but Mira said NO. Like wdym no!? Uhhh whatever, apparently Mira's heard her do this a lot so I'll just record it next time.
July 24, 2026
Found this notebook in a box tucked away. Felt like I needed to finish the entries with my final conclusions.
She's not a cat.
In fact, all of the cat like traits... we're signs she was part demon. Smh right now... how did i miss this!? Her being part demon is so much more reasonable than being a cat!
A follow-up to me discussing KPDH fandom stuff with my sister, who does not do KPDH fandom stuff.
Me: ...And pretty much the entire fandom has agreed that Celine was totally in love with Rumi's dead mom.
Her: WHAT?!?
Me: Yeah. And-
Her: How did they draw that conclusion?
Me, who realized this after writing two lines of fic dialogue for them but isn't going to say that: It's the way she talked about her. Plus how she devoted two decades of her life to raising her daughter; that's, like, lover-stuff!
Her: I mean, not necessarily; Mira, rumi, and Zoey are like that and they aren't romantically interested in each other.
Me: [doesn't respond due to brain short circuiting as it hits me that holy smokes she doesn't know about polytrix]
TW: mentions Rumi's Canon suicide attempt (tho this post is about Zoey)
Rumi posted Golden? She didn't need a break that much... she'll go to the bathhouse after the idol awards.
Rumi's voice is cracking? Slightly frustrating but it's fine. Zoey can come up with a couple (57) of plans.
Everyone is shipping them with the Saja Boys? Zoey can hide her jealousy... she's already hiding her feelings so it's fine.
The Honmoon is tearing more frequently? No worries, she'll just work harder. She's a night owl anyways so what's a few more sleepless nights. That's fine.
Mira and Rumi are fighting? That's okay, she can be the glue that holds them together; everything will be fine.
Rumi is secretly a half-demon and has been lying to them the whole time? Okay, a little bit sickening but Zoey can manage. They can work through this and everything will go back to being fine.
Rumi put her trust in Jinu a demon before them? It hurts but Zoey can understand... it's fine. That's what Rumi needed
But pressure builds, and the bottle can only hold so much before it shatters.
Celine knew the whole time. Told Rumi to hide it. Convince Rumi she was unloved– made Rumi believe she was better off dead!
It's not fine. It was never fine.
She snaps at Celine, breath labored as the storm of emotions she's kept locked up tight, finally spill out of her.
Rumi and Mira are at her side in an instant, confusion and worry plastered on their faces.
Of course... because Zoey doesn't get angry.
But she is.
And her fury has no specific target. It lashes out, hitting everyone in her vicinity. Including Mira and Rumi.
She freezes when their concern morphs to fear, catching a glimpse of her reflection and flinching at the rage contained in her person
No. Wait. She didn'tmean that.
Shit.
Please no... she can take it back.
Pretend the ugly doesn't exist– that her bubbly disposition is more than a charade for the fans. That she really is a good person.
Zoey's sorry. Even if her body doesn't look it– still seethes with rage and refuses to stop crying.
When we came home from training I was rushing through my shower cause I still had to do the dishes before my show aired (Celine never let us record anything😔). When i scrambled out of my room, haired still dripping, I found all the dishes clean, dried, and tucked away. Mira sat on the couch with a book and the channel I needed already on.
September 25th, 2012
I saw these cute earrings today while we were out today! Totally gonna buy them when we get our first paycheck. ☆note to self. Learn how to budget.
Rumi also pointed out this DIY teddy bear store and it totally reminded me of build-a-bear back in Burbank so obviously we had to go inside! We each made a bear except Mira picked out a turtle and gave it to me! His name is Darwin and I would die for him.
December 25th, 2012
OMG OMG OMG! We did secret Santa and my gift was those earrings from a few months ago!!!
Now i feel bad tho... i only got Celine a mug that says #2 mom
February 15th, 2013
Mira took us out for a run last night. There's this cliff a few kilometers north of the compound and the view was just breathtaking. I don't know when she found the time but she built like a webbed hammock/platform up in one of the trees overlooking a waterfall and WOW. She packed a few snacks and drinks and we just sat up there for hours talking about... honestly so much that I don't remember– except Turtles! I got to talk about turtles for a while... actually did we talk about anything else?
When the girls get home and are met with a distressed Celine waiting in the foyer.
Her eyes meet with Rumi's and she releases the breath she'd been holding since her daughter ward had asked the impossible of her.
Zoey and Mira exchange a worried look as Rumi's mask– still fighting to fake perfection– finally shatters and her tears start to fall. They try to console her but exhaustion pulls them all to the ground in a heap and their own tears start.
Celine is with them in an instant, wrapping her arms around the group as best she can; whispering how proud of them she is, how brave they were.
Sobbing turns to sniffles as they all settle in to this new peace.
Rumi's mask starts to piece itself back together– stopped by Celine's thumb running across her cheek.
Except the shocked look across her daughter's ward's face is not reminiscent of her late mother. When Rumi looks at her with those big brown eyes the expression she carries is one Celine knows well.
Because it is her own.
And in that moment, Celine's mask breaks too. Her temples crease from the smile growing across her face, genuine pride she'd denied her ward daughter for years unintentionally as she tried to punish herself for failing the love of her life.
She releases the others to pull Rumi in tight against her chest, wrapping her hands around the girl's bare and shimmering patterns
"I love you Rumi. With all my heart aegi."
Rumi returns the hug, squeezing her mother tight.
And the Honmoon hums around them, the last tear in it's strings finally threading back together.
A mother and daughter, true feelings laid bare and loved anyways.
Today Celine sent us to the store but I forgot the list (whoops). No worries tho! Because Rumi seemed to know exactly what we needed. Also she sent me to get fresh carrots only to tell me that the ones I got were "not straight enough" which is apparently a sign of poor discipline by the farmer!? Anyways when we got home, Celine praised Rumi for the carrots she had picked out saying "discipline is important in all aspects of life"!?
August 3rd, 2011
Snook into Rumi's closet because istg she always wears the same thing as celine everyday... its just those training robes. SHE DOESN'T OWN ANYTHING ELSE. Where are the dresses from media outings when she was younger!?
October 15th, 2011
Today Celine told Rumi that she was going to start teacher how to handle the paperwork for sunlight entertainment and Rumi was practically beaming! I went to check on her later and she was posted up next to Celine, both up huddled over a laptop with the same furrowed brow and lip twitch
The craziest part is that when Zoey asks Rumi about it, Rumi just looks at her like she's crazy saying 'you know my mom was miyoung'.
When she comments to Celine that Rumi is practically her daughter, Celine only looks at her with sorrow reminiscing that 'she looks so much like miyoung and that she'd be proud
Definitely one for each of the important people in her life (probably more than one for each at this point). And of course she has notebooks filled with lyrics and song ideas
But Zoey is heavily implied neurodivergent so obviously we can crank this up to 1000%
I raise you
Demonology chronicals
Turtles (obviously)
Metaphors she's heard with explanations next to them.
Shower thoughts about the philosophy of life
Ways she could solve systemic and political issues
Fanfiction (she can't sit still long enough to write it but the ideas are there)
All the reasons the sunlight sisters were in a polycule (now amended with info she collected while living with Celine)
Outfit designs for Derpy and Sussie with pictures when she actually gets to try them (never on Sussie tho... the bird won't let her ☹️)
Memories of Fans she's met and felt connected to
Notebooks with many languages she's started learning before jumping to another one (I headcanon she can probably fumble her way through many languages and is the one who translates whenever they go on tour)
Rankings of favorite movies and TV shows for her and her girls
I wanna talk about the dynamic between Mira and Celine.
Trigger warning for mentions of Rumi's canon suicidal behavior.
I think a lot of people imagine it to have taken a while for teen Mira to warm up to Celine because of her childhood and family troubles and I agree with this point.
I also think that many writers characterize Mira as very quick to completely blow up on Celine when they find out about Rumi's request that night and her overall instilled values.
But let's talk about how Mira's efficient detachment from Celine could actually be a facade for how distraught she actually is.
As previously mentioned it took a long time for Mjra to trust and respect Celine. When she did it was well earned and a deeper level of respect than I think most people have for anyone in general
So they idea that Mira had waited and waited for this person to betray her trust, and then finally accepted them as safe, only to find out years down the line that she'd taught your best friend (love of your life) to hate themselves? Ya that broke Mira
Because now her trust was unfounded. Now she knows she was wrong. And more importantly, that she can't trust herself to know when someone is safe or not.
Mira doesn't share this with Rumi or Zoey. She blows up on Celine and cuts her out of her life where she can, but now she's skeptical of everyone.
Does Bobby actually love her like a daughter?
Do the fans think she's worthy like Zoey and Rumi?
And worst of all, she struggles to trust even the ones she loves the most
Are they really ok with her not always being the stoic protector?
Are they only with her so they don't hurt her feelings?
Does Zoey have a notebook about all the bad things about Mira
Has Rumi actually forgiven her for pulling her weapon on her?
The Rumira dynamic is two traumatized souls who are in denial and choose to instead try and help the other... except neither will accept help (or the fact that they are loved)
Chapters: 4/?
Fandom: KPop Demon Hunters (2025)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Mira/Rumi/Zoey (KPop Demon Hunters)
Characters: Mira (KPop Demon Hunters), Rumi (KPop Demon Hunters), Zoey (KPop Demon Hunters), Celine (KPop Demon Hunters), Bobby (KPop Demon Hunters), Derpy the Tiger (KPop Demon Hunters), Sussie the Magpie (KPop Demon Hunters)
Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Rumi Needs a Hug (KPop Demon Hunters), Rumi Needs Therapy (KPop Demon Hunters), Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Complex Celine (KPop Demon Hunters), Bad Parent Celine (KPop Demon Hunters), Girl Dad Bobby (KPop Demon Hunters), Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Suicidal Thoughts
Summary:
The Honmoon is sealed now. Rumi will have to leave soon. It won't be long until Mira and Zoey figure out her patterns are more trouble than she's worth.
A fic in which Rumi struggles with the trauma she's accrued, and Zoey and Mira show her how easy she is to love
This is a Sussie appreciation post because my guy (spirit bird with no gender) does not get the recognition they deserve.
People love Derpy– valid– but Sussie has such an attitude to them and I just can't let it go unnoticed.
Sussie is dramatic and most definitely a little shit, but they also care (and have more braincells than the tiger). I honestly think Sussie acts as an older sibling to Derpy in the sense that they keep Derpy alive because "Dad would be upset if this child dies"
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