Around a year ago, I screwed up
I had found this incredible human being that was making me feel truly in love again, but then in a strange moment filled with confusion, anger and many other things in between arguments with my ex, we asked ourselves is there still something? Should we give it one last shot for our kids?
Well this lasted just a very few weeks until we realised l, that there was absolutely nothing more than a old love that transformed into a friendship.
Then I didn't know how to handle it all.
Now that is the decision I regret the most.
Because in this process, I have hurt and lost the person I truly love, the person I still love the same way, I loved her a year ago.
Let me tell you a little bit about her.
She is younger, yes, but age is only a number if you really love someone trust me.
Then she is this caring soul, always lifting up the atmosphere in the room, because she sees, when you aren't okay and cares, interested in how others feel, despite her problems, she will give you her shoulder or even a hug, to make you feel better.
She is a loving and caring mom, she is honest, she listens, she is a real friend to her friends even if she only checks in once in a while, she always tries to do the right and the best thing, even if that means break some bonds and so so much more.
She has a beautiful soul, her smile will light up the room, even in the most stressful moments.
She is just one of the most amazing human beings that I have ever come across in my lifetime and when I say that I really mean it because I have known thousands of people so far in my own journey.
But don't be fooled like everyone she isn't perfect and has her flaws, but it all makes her being her, perfectly imperfect.
Now I am on the side line just a friend to her and that's fine, although I do lose myself at times and get too intense, because I really do care so so much about her and her wellbeing, that's one of my flaws probably.
The only thing left for me to do is wait.
You might ask why? Does it not hurt more?
Because I am certain that it would hurt more losing her forever and not having her in which ever way in my life would be worse.
She is in my thoughts from when I wake up until I go back to bed.
That's why I will always be by her side, even if out of sight, no matter what, whenever she needs me I will be there or even just a text away.
That's why and it is my choice to wait.
