Emily: “I’m really sorry Vaggie didn’t feel comfortable coming back here. If there’s anything I can do to change that-”
Charlie: “Probably not! It was kinda a sign of her endless love for me that she visited haven again at all!”
Emily: “Oh! Oh that’s nice!!”
Charlie: “Which I NEVER would have asked her to do anyway, if I’d KNOWN the truth about her history up here!”
Emily: “Right. I’m so sorry about that too, by the-”
Charlie: “I mean, I’m not the kind of girl who askes her girlfriend to go spend an afternoon sitting across from the people who ripped off her wings! And her eye! And left her slumped against a dumpster looking half dead!”
Emily: “A… dumpster?”
Charlie: “Making the woman you love relive all that without even rEALIZING it would be pretty fucked up, wouldn’t it??”
Emily: “V- very.”
Charlie: “IT HYPOTHETICALLY COULD MAKE SOMEONE FEEL KINDA TERRIBLE AFTERWARDS, DON’T YOU THINK?”
Emily: “I’m sure it did!”
Charlie: “H Y P O T H E T I C A L L Y”
Emily: “Could! I could see that, yes, if it HAD happened, that would’ve been…”
Emily: “…”
Emily: “Are you- um, is she, errr.. doing better now?”
Charlie: “SO much better she’s doing SO great these days!!!!”
IN HELL
Vaggie: (lying face down on the hotel lobby floor) “I promise I won’t stop helping you morons when she dumps me. I won’t let her dream die just because I was dumb enough to think I could be part of it.”
Angel Dust: “That’s nice toots.”
Vaggie: “Thanks.”
Angel Dust: “Not sad or stupidly gay or anythin’.”
Vaggie: “Thanks.”
Cherri Bomb: “Sad? Angie, it’s perfect!” (takes picture) “I’ve been thinking this place could use a new rug…”
Niffty: (stepping on vaggie) “Squishy!”
Husk: “Get the fuck off her.” (at vaggie) “You, get the fuck UP.”
Vaggie: “Why.”
Alastor: “Hmmm, because this is PAINFULLY pathetic to watch, even for me?”
Vaggie: “Guess I’ll be here forever then.”
Angel Dust: “Vag-GAY c’mon, ya girlfirend’s not gonna dump ya. What’s the competition even!?”
Vaggie: “There’s an angel up in heaven who's helping Charlie work towards her life long dreams as we speak, and she's taller than me, got more wings than me, not as stabby as me, and also not a mass murderer or a liar or missing an eye.”
Cherri Bomb: "Hey!"
Vaggie: "No offence to the other one-eyed ladies here, but it's different when you've got a fucked up empty eye socket."
Niffty: (sighs dreamily) "I bet losing it hurt soooo baaaaad..."
Vaggie: "Never telling my girlfriend why I'd actually lost it or how it made me look like the deranged murder angel I was, even while she tried kissing it better for me, ended up hurting way worse."
Angel Dust: “That's a point….”
Angel Dust: “...alright, so Charlie’s PROBABLY not gonna dump ya-”
Niffty: “Oh that’s a weird sound!” (giggling) (bounces on vaggie) “I think she’s dying~”
Husk: “If you fucks kill her, I’m telling her demon princess girlfriend and pouring myself a drink to go with your fucking tormented howls.”
Vaggie: (muffled) “what if she’s my ex-girlfriend”
Husk: “…I’ll pour you a fucking drink and listen to your tormented howls.”
Niffty: “ME TOO I’LL LISTEN TOO!”
Alastor: “Dear one, perhaps if you were NOT standing on her skull and compressing her WRETCHED cries into the floor, we could be hearing them already.”
Niffty: “Whoops~ Heheheeh~”
Cherri Bomb: (recording it) “Damn, that groan’s been going on for ages… Bitch has some lung capacity on her.”
Angel Dust: “Point one for Vag-gay! Probs as good eating out as ya are at HOLDING out on ya girl!!!”
Charlie: "MOM!!! Ohhhh I can't believe I finally get to DO this- Mom mom mom, this is VAGGIE! Vaggie meet my mom, mom, meet Vaggie! She's an angel and she USED to be an exorcist working for Adam but she said FUCK THAT!"
Vaggie: "It was more of an "argh" while they cut out my eye and stuff."
Charlie: (hugging her) "She said 'fuck that' in SPIRIT because she's amazing and hates heaven's guts and now she's happily living down here in hell, with meeee~"
Lilith: "Oh? Enjoying your new freedom, are you?"
Vaggie: "Very, VERY much, ma'am."
Charlie: "Oh um! She's also-!"
Lilith: "Literally me."
Charlie: "....."
Charlie: ".."
Charlie: "Please don't say that."
Lilith: "It's a compliment. And nice to know how much you've been missing your mother, sweetie."
Charlie: "AND PLEASE DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT!!!"
Lilith: "I'm also glad you picked up your father's taste in women."
Charlie: "..aaaaaahh..."
Vaggie: "Sweetie-"
Charlie: "AAAAAAAAAAAHH!"
Vaggie: "-uh, Charlie, you need to breathe-"
Lilith: "She doesn't, actually. Haven't you noticed? It was one of the first things I realized about her father, along with the advantages of dating someone short enough to not have to kneel for-"
Charlie: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH-"
Vaggie: "....it's nice meeting you, your majesty."
Lilith: "You as well. It's rather nostalgic. Almost like looking in a mirror."
Charlie: (slumps over limply in vaggie's arms)
Vaggie: "CHARLIE!?"
Lilith: "Ah, but you have better reflexes than I did. Lovely."
Listen, I love Carmilla adopting Vaggie. I fucking LOVE Carmilla adopting Vaggie.
BUT
Imagine, if you will. Zestial adopts Vaggie and he does it with the thought of "Mine Darling Carmilla hath two daughters. If I have a daughter, they can have playdates and I can spend more time with Carmilla!" Except Clara and Odette are 17 and 19 and Vaggie is over 1000 years old and kind of has the mentality of a depressed 20 year old so it's not like they're really into "playing" anymore.
But it does kind of work, because Clara and Vaggie like to spar and Odette helps Vaggie get more comfortable in Hell. And Zestial knows he's adopted an angel but doesn't want to tell Carmilla because what if she insists he gets rid of his daughter? So he just keeps deflecting really, really badly.
Carmilla, watching Vaggie bleed gold: She's an angel.
Zestial, sweeping Vaggie under his wing to hide her: Nay. She has a blood condition.
Carmilla, watching Vaggie wield an angelic spear: that's an angel.
Zestial, shoving the spear down: She was stabbed with it and kept it.
Carmilla, when Vaggie fights the exact same way Exorcists do : angel.
Zestial, physically restraining Vaggie from getting into a fight: She's feisty.
Later
Carmilla: Vaggie, I know you're an angel
Vaggie, who's been told for years that Carmilla has no idea: What? How?
Carmilla, drinking straight from the bottle: you're bad at hiding it, Zestial is terrible at lying.
