“You look tired” lol i want to stop existing.

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@crazylittlethingcalledcha
“You look tired” lol i want to stop existing.
music
While everyone else is full of life, here I am waiting for my death.
adhd executive dysfunction sucks bcuz im just sitting there and my brain is like
YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME
no work done no rest gained. literally no point of this at all
(to everyone who reblogged, donate and share @olagaza's initiative!)
i'm tired so i say i will just handle it tomorrow but then it is tomorrow and there's another thing i have to do today so now i have two things to handle (today and yesterday's burdens) so now i'm stressed about doing both and then i spend an hour thinking about how both of these things are going to take up so much time and energy and i should have done that other thing yesterday and it's not even that hard and i get stuck doomscrolling or whatever so now i have to mentally make rules to combat the procrastination because i really do need to get at least one thing done today so i don't let myself eat or sleep or enjoy things until one thing gets done but despite the rules i still can't make myself just get up and start so i get locked for hours in the in-between where my body is frozen and rotting but my mind is on fire in a glass box and honestly in these wasted long hours i don't think i even see the world around me and after a long time eventually if i'm very lucky/have sufficiently punished myself into movement i finally manage to do one or both things on my list and that should be great but instead of feeling proud or relaxed i'm annoyed with myself because i've wasted the day and how can i be exhausted when i literally haven't done anything and literally so many adults have actual lives and problems and meanwhile i can't manage basic fucking tasks and then i realize oh fuck there's a third thing which i forgot about until now and but i really am tired so i say i will just handle it tomorrow but then it is tomorrow
Margaret Atwood, Cat's Eye
A little cat with some big hopes. ♡
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I hope one year from now me is doing good, I hope she’s happy and I hope she got what she wanted
When the lights go off I can’t help feeling like a failure
I just want to disappear
the best company I could ever have is my own