I think I’m fighting a war that will never end

[nonromanticising]

I wanted to get a sexology degree just because I was too traumatised to do it with my ex and I wanted to fix myself for him

If you are in a toxic relationship please run away as fast as you can before the rot transfers onto you

[nonromanticising]

A lovely relationship vent

I’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist. I got that piece of news after a couple of months into the relationship (but I always kinda knew)

We broke up on gruesome terms (a story worth a fucking soap opera)

As for now it feels like his main goal is to destroy punish and humiliate me. He tries to alienate me from our mutual friends and gets so mad when they don’t see him as the victim

The worst part of it all is that I look at him and I wonder who he is. I truly don’t recognise him. He was always a bit resentful and hateful towards me but i overlooked that because when I love I looove. Now he is so hostile so full of unspeakable hate and not only towards me but also our friends as soon as they don’t see eye to eye with him

The boy I loved so much I would burn cities for him turned out to be an illusion, a fantasy we both created so he could feed off me.

I’d never say I was a saint or the good one in the relationship i’m very anxious and have uncontrollable fear of abandonment

I guess I just wish I could be the bad one in the relationship (as I always was) but he leaves me no space for that.

I wish he would live his life and forget my name I wish I could erase my memory of him because all that is left from it are the horrible bad things he did (but I don’t know if they are real because if they are then I was so blind I truly worry for my ability to see reason)

[nonromanticising]

[nonromanticising]

I want to crawl out of my skin, lose my whole memory and maybe then I could be happy

[nonromanticising]

I fear I have used all my love on the wrong people and there isn’t any of it left

[nonromanticising]

cogito ergo sum

i dont fucking want to cogito nor sum anymore

[nonromanticising]

the delusions came off and I realised how miserable I still am

[nonromanticising]

when I go somewhere and everyone there isn’t happy clappy to see me I automatically think they all hate me and conspire against me

[nonromanticising]

I have good news for yall: you do get over it

(I mean not over the impeccable sense of doom but yk)

[nonromanticising]

does refilling my nails every three weeks create the ship of theseus situation

[nonromanticising]

I fear I won’t ever be in a long term relationship bc im definitely too attracted to bo burnham

[nonromanticising]

we all need to understand that the fact that nothing matters is a blessing in disguise

[nonromanticising]

I love deleting photos its kinda like deleting my memory and pretending it didnt happen

[nonromanticising]

happy christmas happy crisis happy spending time with your family that you lowkey despise

[nonromanticising]

The thing that triggers me the most is when people self-diagnose with my disorder

its not cute its not quirky it takes over my whole fucking life

[nonromanticising]

just found my ex has a girl

dont mind if i commit mass homocide

[nonromanticising]

When I look at myself all I see is wasted potential