"My Dynamite!"

(This is a Multilingual *English-Spanish* RP/ask blog for Fester Addams from The Addams Family Cartoon Series)

[crazyunclefester]

I want to chew on a granade...

[cineboutique]

La Planète sauvage (1973)

[shoot-the-runner]

I can now die happy.

[evilspicer-blog]

crazyunclefester

“Well, some people say I’m an abomination, but I identify myself as a human being. In other words, an ADDAMS!” Yes, Fester is human, a very strange one…

“An ADDAMS? Ya’know that’s not a species! Your last name doesn’t explain your freakishly weird looks or proportions–OR your organ functions that apparently protect you from digesting mild explosives.”

[crazyunclefester]

“UGH! You are no fun. Whenever I hear that, a little voice in my head tells my brain to hurt people... Yeah, It wants me to make them bleed” Well, that's pretty dark.

[crazyunclefester]

"What kinda alien are you s'posed to be? You've got one UGLY mug."

“Thank you Mr. Robot man, I’m flattered... Not an alien tho.”

[evilspicer-blog]

@crazyunclefester

“Oh, don’t worry your little red head about it. You see, this is just a snack.” Fester said while staring at the bag. “In fact, I’ve been eating these my hole life… They are great with vinegar.”

Jack is just staring, wide-eyes hardly daring to blink. “RIGHT…what species are you again? People can’t just DIGEST that stuff, you know.”

[crazyunclefester]

“Well, some people say I’m an abomination, but I identify myself as a human being. In other words, an ADDAMS!” Yes, Fester is human, a very strange one...

[evilspicer-blog]

The pudgy little man appeared out of nowhere, holding a huge bag of firecrackers in his left hand "Hello there... uh, Paquito?" He was eating them, apparently.

Jack didn’t exactly regret running into Fester again–in fact, he’d been wondering where that fat gremlin had run off to lately. But the sight of the other stuffing his face with dangerous substances had the evil genius gaping in shock.

“–HOW many of those have you already eaten?!” Jack demanded. “You’re gonna get sick! Or DIE! Just…just cut it out!!”

[crazyunclefester]

“Oh, don’t worry your little red head about it. You see, this is just a snack.” Fester said while staring at the bag. “In fact, I’ve been eating these my hole life... They are great with vinegar.”

[halloweenskellington]

[crazyunclefester]

“This nice old lady told me to fuck myself. I've never been so happy before...”

[sixpenceee]

An old doll turned into a wasps nest. (Source)

[unanimousundeclaredanonymity]

fucking silent hill nonsense right there

[crazyunclefester]

Do you know the devil? Can you give him a message?

“I wish I could but Satan got a restraining order against me...”

[gorunwithsissors]

[monkeystaffed]

crazyunclefester:

“CLOSE, but no cigar!” Fester screamed as his face split into a wide smile. “We hug'em like no other!” Yeah, like hugging a complete stranger who might reveal your position to the enemy is a good idea. Anyway, Addams tradition. “What are you waiting for? If you are not one of them you’ll hug me…”

“Uh, well, alright?” Jack was confused at the sudden change in this man’s personality, but he went over and gave him a hug with a tad bit of hesitation.

[crazyunclefester]

“Perfect! Now that I know you are not one of THEM... I'll introduce myself. My name is Fester Addams, an unemployed but efficient inventor.”

[crazyunclefester]

heres a present for you! A rosary blessed by the pope.

“Keep that thing away from me...”

[monkeystaffed]

crazyunclefester:

“Kid, I don’t buy it!” Fester growled while pointing at the stranger, With his other hand he reached into his coat pocket and took out his folded knife. “You must be a snitch…  Do you know what the Addams Family does to snitches like you?” 

Jack perspired even more, if that was even possible at the moment. He glanced nervously at the knife Fester pulled out, then Fester himself. “Uhm..” Jack blurted. “T-t-ake them out for dinner and have a nice chat?”

That was obviously not the answer, but Jack sure was hoping it was.

[crazyunclefester]

“CLOSE, but no cigar!” Fester screamed as his face split into a wide smile. “We hug'em like no other!” Yeah, like hugging a complete stranger who might reveal your position to the enemy is a good idea. Anyway, Addams tradition. “What are you waiting for? If you are not one of them you'll hug me...”

[monkeystaffed]

crazyunclefester:

Fester stood there glancing backwards repeatedly just to see if the angry mob was still in pursuit. Fortunately that wasn't the case. The crowd has been chasing the man for hours… He needed some time to rest.

“Oh, for satan’s sake! Kid, if you are one of them I swear I’ll slit your throat like I did with those peasants back there!!”

Jack instantly went silent at the man’s words, but he spoke up before the man t got the wrong idea. 

“…N-Nope!… Just an evil boy genius trying to make a living and trying not to die!”

[crazyunclefester]

“Kid, I don't buy it!” Fester growled while pointing at the stranger, With his other hand he reached into his coat pocket and took out his folded knife. “You must be a snitch...  Do you know what the Addams Family does to snitches like you?” 

[monkeystaffed]

@crazyunclefester

Jack couldn’t help but be intrigued by the man in front of him, he seemed like he’d be a perfect evil candidate and he had a slight creepiness that made him even more interesting. It seemed like he wanted something from Jack, but Jack wasn’t too certain about what it was.

“Uh… Hey, anything you want? I have some food back at my lair.”

[crazyunclefester]

Fester stood there glancing backwards repeatedly just to see if the angry mob was still in pursuit. Fortunately that wasn't the case. The crowd has been chasing the man for hours... He needed some time to rest.

“Oh, for satan's sake! Kid, if you are one of them I swear I'll slit your throat like I did with those peasants back there!!”