Uneven Verses...

Just some stuff that I write... can be seriously any format I feel like writing. Mostly dumb poetry coz I write on paper and they're easer to type out. (I'm also - @crazygurlvianna-spt)

[crazywritervianna-spt]

On Wattpad, AO3 and twitter: @vianna_spt

[whostolemyfuckingdick-deactivat]

Live footage of me waiting for validation after posting a fic

[alphafemalecarla]

When I write three sentences on my WIP:

[crazywritervianna-spt]

I don't care what you say,

I'm going places some day,

My dreams aren't just a fantasy,

I'll turn them to reality,

I won't succumb to circumstances,

I'll be taking my own chances,

you don't believe me? alright,

Just watch me persevere and fight,

your words wont affect me,

I'll dictate my own destiny.

@vianna-spt

[crazywritervianna-spt]

[crazywritervianna-spt]

The twitter version...

[crazywritervianna-spt]

Tragedy

Typed out under the cut in case my handwriting wasn't legible.

They thought she was a tragedy,

Waiting to happen,

An Icarius mid flight,

Waiting to fall,

They didn't realise,

That she didn't mind,

She did fall down,

But she was glad,

While others saw it sad,

She was just happy she experienced it.

@vianna-spt

[swellio]

take your time, they said.

the words will come to you, they said.

[crazywritervianna-spt]

so the split mineta au, do u like it or is there something i should fix about it

Yeah I like your split mineta au, it's nice .. I'm just a little confused.. maybe you should draw a chart about it or something..

[crazywritervianna-spt]

Did this for twitter so I though I'd post it here too (even though I've already posted this poem once)

[crazywritervianna-spt]

I thought I write poetry.

Typed out under the cut, in case my writing wasn't legible:

I thought I wrote poetry

I thought I wrote poetry,

But can I even call it that all,

At this point it's just sentences,

Strung together to maybe make sense,

I got no meter or sense of rhyme,

It's absolutly structureless everytime,

For every poem I use the same words,

Repeated on and on like a broken record,

Do they even mean anything,

Or is it just mindless rambling,

No one reads them,

No one likes them,

Why am I still writing,

Do I even have anything left worth saying ?

-Vianna-spt

[crazywritervianna-spt]

Bitches really be out there posting angsty shit and stuff about self harm and then getting concerned about the mental health of every stranger who likes or reblogs it.

That's me, I am bitches.

I hope this isn't weird......

[crazywritervianna-spt]

Walking Disaster

I look at the mirror,

I see a walking disaster,

My hair is a mess,

Flying everywhere it can,

Dark tired shadows,

Rim my dull sunken eyes,

Zits, whiteheads, blackheads,

My chapped lips complete my looks,

Shouldn't want to look the way I do,

But I don't ming looking like this though,

I look so so bad,

But it mirrors the storm inside,

I'm fine looking how I feel,

Too tired to try conceal,

Feels better than being dolled up,

When my thoughts have me fucked up,

I shouldn't be okay looking this way,

Maybe I would when I feel okay one day.

-vianna-spt

[crazywritervianna-spt]

Why?

Why do you even think I'm nice,

When I'm anything but that,

Why do you even look up to me,

When I'm just useless, so worthless,

Why do you wish to be like me so bad,

When I can't even get out of bed,

Why am I even in your life,

When I don't even deserve to be alive,

I'm just a brat, wasting oxygen,

Pretty sure I'll dissappoint everyone,

I'm ungrateful for the life I have,

Maybe I should have had it worse,

My fucked up head keeps digging up angst,

Trying to feel valid by victemising myself,

Moping around, being sad,

When I don't even have a reason for that,

Yet I'm a monster, numb and heartless,

I cant even cry, such an empty bitch,

Why am I like this,

Why am I this clumsy mess,

Why am I so exceptionally bad,

Even when I think I'm trying my best,

Every day I regress,

Can't even hold a candle to my past self,

Why am I not already dead,

Have I not messed up enaugh yet?

[crazywritervianna-spt]

WISHING

I often wish I wasn't me,

I wish I wasn't this clumsy mess,

That I wasn't this hopeless case,

Not the butt of everyone's jokes.

I wish I didn't hate myself.

I wish I could be someone else.

Someone more mature,

Who won't mess eveything they touch,

Won't be called out for every word.

I wish I could just change myself,

Become someone who could be appreciated,

Who didn't feel so alienated,

Who was more than just tolerated,

I'm tired of being laughed at,

I wish I was someone else instead.

-Vianna-spt.

[crazywritervianna-spt]

A WIP (works in progress) tracker for my fanfictions -

(Click for better quality)

I have a separate diary for storing my works and ideas but I got a new notepad and wanted do something with it ... it ended up looking cute so I'm sharing it here.

[crazywritervianna-spt]

No tears just blood.

Tw: mentions of blood and self harm

transcription:

I let my blood flow,

because I’m denied by my tears,

i hurt myself,

coz i cant make myself cry,

i keep rubbing them with alcohol,

Not so they dont get infected, 

but so they dont stop bleeding just yet,

so i can feel that sting all over again,

i pour wax on my skin’

i touch vessels full of boiling water knowing they would burn,

thought i was getting better,

thought i was healing, 

went 2 months without a scratch,

but barely a week into new year,

and i have already relapsed,

i wish i could stop though,

stop and never think of it again,

wish i could cope in a better way,

wish i could just cry it away,

and not give my pain, 

a physical form instead.

-Vianna-spt