âWell, what can I say? Iâm a badass.âÂ
âDo I get bonus points if I act like I care?âÂ
âJust remember if we get caught, youâre deaf and I donât speak English.âÂ
âDonât look for any redeeming qualities. I donât have any.âÂ
âItâs amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.âÂ
âI love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.âÂ
âAnd you wonder why youâre still single.âÂ
âRemind me to kill you. Please.âÂ
âIâm listening to you. Iâm just not paying attention.âÂ
âThatâs a little melodramatic, donât you think?âÂ
âWere you dropped on your head?âÂ
âSheâs crazy. And just when you think youâve reached the bottom of her craziness, thereâs a crazy underground garage.âÂ
âShe may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors sheâs latex and whips.âÂ
âIf my day gets any worse, Iâm asking hell if theyâre having an exchange program.âÂ
âSorry. I donât speak skank.âÂ
âIf I survive, can I go home?âÂ
âMy middle finger salutes you.âÂ
âThis is a whole new level of moronic, even for you.âÂ
âI donât think I could ever stab someone. I mean, letâs be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun.âÂ
âI donât have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.âÂ
âInsanity run in my family. It practically gallops.âÂ
âOh darling. Go buy a brain.âÂ
âSomebodyâs cranky.â âSomebody needs to shut up.âÂ
âFrankly my dear, I donât give a damn.âÂ
âAll due respect, but thatâs a bunch of crap.âÂ
âI am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.âÂ
âExcuse me. I have to go make a scene.âÂ
âWhat did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?â âThat itâs offensive to the devil?âÂ
âI heard that!â âYou were supposed to!âÂ
âI need therapy after this.âÂ
âYou didnât get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.âÂ
âIâm not weird. I am limited edition.âÂ
âI turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.âÂ
âI think youâre weird.â âI think youâre boring.âÂ
âIf history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur.âÂ
âYou seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?âÂ
âIâm afraid Iâve been thinkingâŠâ âA dangerous pastime.âÂ
âIâd explain it to you, but youâre brain would explode.âÂ
âWow, thereâs a big surprise. I think Iâm going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.âÂ
âIâm gonna hit you so hard, itâll make you ancestors dizzy.âÂ
âEven when we were kids, I always kicked your ass!âÂ
âSarcasm is the bodyâs natural reaction to stupidity.âÂ
âYouâre good. A monster pain in the ass⊠but youâre good.âÂ
âWell, excuse me, psychic wonder!âÂ
âThe female of the species is more deadly than the male.âÂ
âDonât look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.âÂ
âSheâs hot, but sheâs evil.âÂ
âDo I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.âÂ
âI already know that Iâm going to hell. At this point itâs really go big or go home.âÂ
âGo on, knock his teeth down his throat.âÂ
âYouâre going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers and people who talk at the theater.âÂ
âWhatâs the point in screaming? No oneâs listening anyway.âÂ
âIâm not a damsel in distress. Iâm a damsel doing damage.âÂ
âSo stick that in your juice box and suck it.âÂ
âNever take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.âÂ
âThis place hold a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some⊠No. No, no, all bad.âÂ
âA little gasoline⊠blowtorch⊠no problem.âÂ
âGood, bad, Iâm the one with the gun.âÂ
âI know you canât kill anybody, âcause I canât kill anybody.âÂ
âYouâre insane, but you might also be brilliant.âÂ
âWhat you call insanity, I call inspiration.âÂ
âSometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.âÂ
âWhy should we date?â âBecause we are attracted to each other.â âI am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.âÂ
âWhy does everyone assume the worst of me.â âIt saves time.âÂ
âI like you. Youâre different.âÂ
âYou successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.âÂ
âNeither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.âÂ
âYouâre questioning my methods.â âIâm not questioning it, Iâm saying itâs stupid.âÂ
âWow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.âÂ
âI didnât do it!â âThen why are you laughing?â âBecause whoever did it is a freaking genius.âÂ
âIdiots. Iâm surrounded by idiots.âÂ
âYou couldnât handle me even if I came with instructions.âÂ
âI care so little, I almost passed out.âÂ
âWell behaved woman rarely make history.âÂ
âYouâre so weird.â âYou have no idea.âÂ
âThe universe may not always play fair, but at least itâs got a hell of a sense of humor.âÂ
âYou havenât even seen my bad side yet.âÂ
âObviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.âÂ
âHowâs life treating you?â âLike I ran over itâs dog.âÂ
âRule number one: donât bother sucking up. I already hate you, thatâs not going to change.âÂ
âOh God, weâre not gonna have to hug or anything, are we.âÂ
âIâm so glad you could come.â âCut the crap. Give me a drink.âÂ
âYou make no sense to me.â âWelcome to my life.âÂ
âHave fun being deal.â âI will.âÂ
âDamn, youâre strong for a little thing.âÂ
âItâs called thinking. Go with it.âÂ
âI made a new friend today.â âReal or imaginary?â âImaginary.âÂ
âWhere have you been all my life?â âHiding from you.âÂ
âIâm getting real bored and impatient. I donât do bored and impatient.âÂ
âThe girl is strange no question.âÂ
âDo us a favor⊠I know itâs difficult for you⊠but please, stay here, and try no to do anything⊠stupid.âÂ
âI know most people donât like me; I donât care, I donât like most people.âÂ
âYou are a very strange person.â âWell, thanks for noticing.âÂ
âI can tell that you think what youâre saying is funny, but⊠no.â
âI didnât steal it. I permanently borrowed it.âÂ
âIâm not shy. Iâm just examining my prey.âÂ
âIf you pull out my earphones, I will pull out your lungs.â
âI donât dislike you, I nothing you.âÂ
âAre you crying? No, Iâm impersonating a fountain.âÂ
âAh, heâs playing hard-to-get. Thatâs cute.âÂ
âYouâre kinda anti-social, you know that?âÂ
âI feel like a freakinâ soccer mom.âÂ
âMy advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass.âÂ
âIâm just gonna pack up and go straight to hell now.âÂ
âMy ex? Yeah, Iâd still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or baseball bat.âÂ
âSheâs complicated like the DaVinci code, you know but harder to crack.âÂ
âAnd just like everything else we do around here, itâs about to get weirder.âÂ
âSuch big evil in such a little thing.âÂ
âWhy do I still like you, knowing youâre a total asshole?âÂ
âWhat does not kill you will likely try again.âÂ
âOh honey, I would but⊠I donât want to.âÂ
âAnd hello to you too⊠little homewrecker.âÂ
âIâm gonna make you wish you were dead.âÂ
âI donât need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.âÂ
âWhat doesnât kill me might make me kill you.â
âIn another life, I think I was in a mental institution.âÂ
âIâm not crazy. Iâm just interesting.âÂ
âDonât make me pop your ten grand sand bags honey.âÂ
âThis is fun.â âSeriously, weâre trying to hide a body.âÂ
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