In the moment...

ICU nurse. I love to laugh but I have a dark sense of humor. What makes me laugh, what makes me cry. Dogs. Hardships. Life. This is me. Talk to me!

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[fullpraxisnow]

[books-in-order]

K9 and the drug haul it seized. 113 kg of heroin.

[meangirlnurse]

today Meatball abruptly realized that there are refugee office plants in the kitchen (they have been there for weeks) and has decided his singular purpose in life is to eat them 

[meangirlnurse]

we put up a 4 foot tall step-through baby gate when we brought the plants home, but it turns out he can actually squeeze his body through the bars. not in a dignified way, mind you. but he can 

[meangirlnurse]

we have foiled him with a two-gate system: a short one with small openings that he can’t squeeze through, and the tall one that he can’t jump over. he is now sitting outside our kitchen door rattling the gates with his stupid little mitten hands like an animated ghost prisoner in a Spirit Halloween decoration 

[crafty-butch]

update: we underestimated him

[crafty-butch]

[meangirlnurse]

why are your doors closed to the public 

[evil-dad-evil]

is this the same Meatball with the Hanukkah sweater????

[meangirlnurse]

it sure is 

you may also know him as the Meatball who tried to jump into my toilet and the violent sweatervest-wearing accountant cat 

[numberlover1729]

tiny accountant harasses human, eats plants

[meangirlnurse]

i mean he has to find some way to unwind from his high-pressure job 

[meangirlnurse]

update:

[the-one-the-only-derpghost]

So how do you guys… get in there anymore?

[meangirlnurse]

well my original game plan was opening the white gate and kind of shoving my body through the gap between the wood gate and the grey gate and i am excited to announce that this was not a good idea at all

[meangirlnurse]

update: was woken up at 7 AM this morning by Meatball repeatedly taking a running leap at the gates, bouncing off the top one, and then sitting on the floor outside the kitchen beeping confusedly 

[meangirlnurse]

HOW

[crafty-butch]

[meangirlnurse]

this is our current game plan. stay tuned

[imhereformysciencefriends]

please continue to give us updates this is the funniest post on this site

[caps-boo-bear]

I love Meatball!

[hanajibu]

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[books-in-order]

Car broke down and Mechanic Pupperino came to the rescue. His recommendation was to “fill the engine with tennis balls.”

[awwdorables]

[bitterfucked]

if you’ve never seen one before

deer are smaller than you think

raccoons are bigger than you think

bears are smaller than you think but you were pretty close

otters are bigger than you think no even bigger than that

wolves are bigger than you think

wild cats are smaller than you think but hopefully you’ll never see one

chipmunks are smaller than you think

so are mice but you’ve seen a mouse right

you were right about the size of moose, mostly

pigs are bigger than you think

coyotes are that size

so are foxes

woops bears are bigger than you think but only that one type

this is an informational post about mammals if you know more please do tell

[legislacerator]

buffalo are bigger than you’ve ever even imagined. you’ve never seen anything that big in your life i promise

[leafcrunch]

i support this post except you have no idea how big are moose

[tramampoline]

moose are fucked up big and nothing will ever prepare you for it

[thegreenwolf]

[rosebuncat]

What??? The fuck????

[chocolate-and-peanutbutter]

[tonystarkstan]

me, taking a nap to avoid all my responsibilities: I can have a little unconsciousness. as a treat.

[aspacelobster-deactivated201812]

[aspacelobster-deactivated201812]

[birdography]

The most dangerous flightless bird in Australia is sitting under a beach umbrella stealing grapes.

[yeahiwasintheshit]

Where else you want her to sit

[thenatsdorf]

Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)

[immaplatypus]

MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck.  Not bad luck.  I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!

[badsciencejokes]

Mewow — view on Instagram https://ift.tt/3407mbO

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]