I did it to myself. I got too excited. Here come the repercussions…
But can you blame me? It was magical. I don’t regret a second of it. Or do I? Hm, is a temporary high worth the pain in the long run? I’m not sure if if I know the answer to that one.
I was encouraged by a friend to feel all the feels. Fall deep, head first. I did. It was wonderful. But now, as I’m slowly sinking to the bottom of a known end.. I can’t help but wonder if the jump was worth it ? As an overly cautious person, doing anything (regarding feelings) spur of the moment is quite scary to me. I overthink EVERYTHING. But this time I decided to throw my tits to the wind. I leapt off the cliff into the sea of the unknown. It was a dream. A scene from a movie, truly. Never did I imagine something like that could happen to me……… Well. Now it seems like my dream is fading. Reality is rearing it’s obnoxious head.
My bubble has popped and now I’m falling heart first down into the sea of …… hm, I’m not sure. Pain, yes but it’s a different kind of pain. Hurt, yes but a different kind of hurt. Longing, yes but a different kind of longing. I miss you…. but can you miss a dream? Not sure. *deep sigh* I’m not sure about any of it.
If this doesn’t make sense to you, it’s okay.. it makes perfect sense to me.
