โEh, Iโm sure thereโs something. The usual,โ Richie lifted his glass to clink it to Eddieโs then leaned heavily back in his seat, folding one arm across his stomach, taking a good sip.ย โSelf loathing, impostor syndrome, self doubt, attention seeking, disappointing Mom, etc.โ
Richieโs mother had been dead for years and Richie knew, god did he know, how lucky he had it in the parent department. Especially compared to the step-father Eddie Cochran ended up with. Richie had thought Billโs situation was the ultimate nightmare, loosing a little brother, your parents ignoring you. Richie hated disappointing his parents, he hated Dad giving him lectures, he hated Mom crying and how guilty he felt, but being a child and unaware of how to change his disruptive behavior. He couldnโt imagine them just ignoring them.
He couldnโt imagine his own dad killing his own hypothetical little brother. Or Janet dealing with Dad killing him. After George died, and after news of Dorseyโs death, Janet wasnโt so snotty to Richie. Sheโd find stuff for them to do, things he liked, ask about stuff he was interested in and act like it was cool even if he could tell she didnโt like it at all. She tried. And Richie knew, compared to Eddie C. and Eddie K. and Ben who had no dad, and Mike who had no parents and watched them die, and Bev who they all knew her dad hurt her enough to bruise, and Bill whose brother was dead and parents were distance, and even Stan whose parents expected so much from him and were never satisfied even when he made straight Aโsโฆ Richie was the luckiest son of a bitch around.
โWhy are you still here, man?โ Richie asked after a moment of long contemplation. Eddie C was smart and Eddie C was a good writer and Richie loved that his last name made him sound like Eddie Cochran and had genuinely forgotten that wasnโt his name for a bit coming back.
โโ- Eddie nodded along to Richieโs list of mistakes and bitter disappointments. He had all of those and more tucked away in his own metaphorical back pocket, so he understood everything that Richie had to drink for. Eddie however, didnโt drink as much as he had used to by now, afraid it would make him mean like his step-father. Even if it wasnโt genetic, it could certainly be situationally carried on, couldnโt it? He could have sworn he read that in a book somewhere, or maybe he had written it himself.
ย ย ย ย The question came as a surprise, and Eddie was sort of at a loss for how to answer. No one had ever asked Eddie Corcoran why he stayed in Derry, no one had ever cared. He took another sip of his drink, wracking his brain for any sort of answer that might shed light.ย
ย ย ย ย ย ย โ Hard to say. โ He replied, thinking about it a moment, โ Supposed. . .Iโve been here so long, felt wrong to leave it all behind. โ He shrugged, not knowing what else to say besides that, โ I got a job I like, and Iโm good at it. I guess I had always planned to leave, just out of high school though I had no money, so saving and trying to make a plan for myself, one thing after the other yadda, yadda, so much time had passed and I got comfortable. So, guess I'm stuck, ya'know?ย โ he leaned back in his seat, not sure if that was the answer someone might wanna hear or not.
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