creepy stripper

heartfelt stories of shallow relationships, shady characters and stripclub fails

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In case you didn't already know where strippers fall within the crazy/hot matrix.

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Someone sent me the Crazy/Hot Matrix and this is my response.  Because I love charts and stereotypes.

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Sooooooooo! how has work been?

Work has not been.

These are things I’ve been told in the past:

"You have the work ethic of a dead person"

"You are the most part-time stripper I’ve ever supported financially"

"Wait, you’re still doing that?"

"I don’t think you can call yourself a stripper anymore"

"Seriously? Are you coming in?  I’ve been at the club the past couple weeks to see you and you’re never there"

BUT!!!  I’ve used my time well and you shall soon see the (amateurish) fruits of my labor.  However, I should stop promising things because I’m a classic over-promiser-now-angry-I-have-to-do-it-er.

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So, what made you come back?

I miss being a terrible person.  There's only so much yoga and meditation one can do before saying "I think it's time to start going to furry conventions and try to get kicked out."

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Made my sugar daddy lose over 4k last night at the casino. Never betting for people again.

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The key to a successful image is being well put-together. Tiny details speak volumes of your character and habits.

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I don't really have a purpose for posting this.  I just like it, mkay?  Not as much as you guys though.  I like you guys more.

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Being as ADD & OCD as I am, I'm having incredible difficulty adjusting to a new routine where I produce material for my blog daily and consistently and actually finish.  I'm getting better though.  Also, it's super hot and I don't have AC and that means I go to the Kmart and play with the hula hoops. 

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Graceful hand action happening. It's my deep desire to model toe separators and bring them into fashion.

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Today's featured outfit-to-wear-to-avoid-society: Smelly shirt, rolled boxers and toe separators.

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Just a preliminary sketch. Doesn’t it get hot in these? How do you wash it? Is there chafing?

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Keep Calm, Kill Zombies, Do Yoga and hold a tube of pink tennis balls with your crotch.

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Free plane ticket to boston. $500 for your holes. Dinner. New sex toy. ????

This sounds like a totally safe and responsible thing to do.

I'll ask my therapist if its ok.

Regarding the holes, there maaaaay have been an accident with a glue gun at some point in the past.

[realfursuits]

[creepystripper-blog]

If anyone is into furry costumes, Holy Batman, this blog is awesome.

I want to be a Sugar Glider.  No, a dragon.  Maybe a unicorn.  I want to be a scaly-gliding-unicorn.  With a single robot eye.  Yes.  

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This is what I do.

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Aaaaaand I am back.