❛ the past never dies.

[calamitus]

❛  i’m not quite sure what it means to mourn.  /  art by yoshitaka amano.

[cremationary]

bcdluckstumblcd​.

       he’d been up because he couldn’t sleep, something not uncommon for him due to the insomnia. Jin isn’t used to sharing spaces with people, the fact that Dabi was crashing on the worn couch completely slipped his mind, and so he mutters another quick apology under his breath when the young man speaks. “Was thinkin’ about getting some fresh air, was getting too on edge in here, cooped up like this. This place is huge, i love it. Shit.” The separate voice that speaks is a bit louder than he means too, so he kind of- shushes no one in particular.

       “Fresh air sounds way better than staring at the ceiling.” he’s spent his share of restless nights on his own floor, alone, staring at ceilings, he wasn’t too keen on taking that option. 

       “Just act like I wasn’t even here, get back to your beauty sleep.” small laugh, as quiet as he can be, finger to his lips in a ‘shush’ gesture, as if he’s sneaking out and it’s all some big secret.  “Don’t know how you’re even sleeping on that thing. Looks like it’s a luxury mattress.”

    CHRIST, JUST SHUT UP.  he exhibits just enough restraint to keep the words to himself, but not quite so much that the au ra of exasperation exuding from his slumped body is easy to miss.  (  if anything, it’s quite the opposite. dabi looks not unlike  a walking corpse  at the best of times;  right now he’s practically flesh, bone and exhaustion.  )  without a word, he tilts his head and shoots jin a deadpan stare.

    any hope he had of getting to sleep had gone  &  fucked right out the cracked, drafty window. he supposes it was foolishly optimistic to expect otherwise.

    “ it look like i’m sleeping ? ”  he grunts, one hand fumbling about in his pocket.  “ floor’s probably more comfortable than this piece of shit. ”  quietly swinging his legs off of the sofa, he sighs through his nostrils and rises to his feet.  ‘ got a couple left ... ’  dabi considers, fiddling with the contents of the cigarette box in his pants pocket. jin might ask for one, but he’s past the point of caring.  

    “ ...  fuck it, i’ll join you. ”

[strfe]

    ONCE AGAIN  i’m being fucked by HP who can’t discern what’s wrong with my laptop so it’s being taken away for repairs  /  i’ll be mobile-bound ‘til about the 18th of february. if i get the strong urge to write i’ll maybe steal my mum’s laptop, but if not i’ll be lurking  &  playing genshin impact. good luck to everyone rollin’ on xiao !

[cremationary]

do not perceive me

[cremationary]

american gods sentence starters.  |  @bcdluckstumblcd​​:   ❝ i didn’t mean to wake you. ❞

    FUCKIN’ PLACE SUCKS.  it’s no fault of twice’s for waking him. with arms folded across his chest and legs sprawled out over the side of a musty sofa, dabi initially offers little more than a grunt.  ‘ the hell’s he still awake for, anyway ? ’  he considers,  &  allows one arm to slip from his chest, fingers dragging along the ground. not that he expected shigaraki to get them a five star hotel, but this is bullshit.

    “ ——  the fuck are you doin’ moving around this late ? ”  he asks, voice hushed. less out of courtesy and more out of desire not to be bothered by anyone else. the guy’s a bundle of restless energy  at the best of times.  (  now that they’ve to be more cautious about their activities, he supposes, it’s natural he of all people will struggle to adapt.  )  least he could do is go have an existential crisis outdoors.

    “ if you can’t sleep, lay down n’ stare at the ceiling like the rest of us. ”

[fioresacros]

the last dance

[cremationary]

american gods sentence starters.  |  @homra-no-artemis​​:  ❝ the truth is not what people want to hear. ❞

    “  yeah ...  no shit. ”  people want to hear what the heroes have to say, even if it’s something they pulled outta’ their ass to appease them. sometimes, even the heroes can’t sate their insatiable  desire for bullshit.  (  anything to ease their fickle, everyday anxieties. the thought of it pisses him off.  )  dabi itches at the back of his neck with idle irritation, but this itch isn’t one that can be scratched.

    not like he could feel it, anyway. with his free hand, he drops the unfinished cigarette that had been balanced between his fingers  &  peers down, grinding the heel of his boot against it.  ‘ not like anyone who comes down this alleyway will care. ’  he decides, and kicks the stamped out thing to the side. it’s not often he indulges in those, so to have the experienced soured does little to aid his already-pissy mood.

    “ but they’re gonna hear it, anyways. ”  the silver lining,  he thinks. though dabi offers her conversation in place of scorching flames, he doesn’t trust her. his stare is cold as it lands on her, arms falling to his sides  /  staples scraping against his pockets as he stuffs his hands into them.  “ ...  and those shitty actors will let their masks slip. ”  people will tear them apart;  maybe even her, too.

[cremationary]

headcanon  +  a word  /  phrase.  |  @snakedevour​​

headcanon  +  sentimentality.

touya used to be very sentimental as a kid, but it’s probably the furthest thing from what’s on his mind as dabi. although deep down some part of him does care for maybe a handful of people, he’d rather die than acknowledge it. as far as he’s concerned, the past made him what he is now  &  there’s no meaning to his own existence or the relationships he once had  /  currently has, outside of the dream he hopes to achieve. an example of this would be that although touya was apparently joined-at-the-hip-close to his brother natsuo as kids, he exclaims to shoto that his death  (  natsuo’s  )  would be worthwhile  if it meant endeavour suffered as a consequence.  sentimentality in and of itself is a concept that has become both wilfully and subconsciously jaded to him over time, especially as his kill-count rose and he grew ever-closer to obtaining his dream;  to make his father suffer as much as possible, and to share with the world that heroes are nothing but liars and scum, giving people false hope.

[cremationary]

just cause it was on my mind, i want to make it clear that if i ever do ship on this blog it probably won't involve a healthy dynamic

[holyisthenameofmyruthlessaxe]

But some people can’t tell where it hurts. They can’t calm down. They can’t ever stop howling.

The Blind Assassin, Margaret Atwood (via decreation)

[boomgubbins]

[muffled bojack horseman theme song plays]

[greelin]

are you there god? it’s me. what the actual fuck

[cremationary]

american gods sentence starters.  |  @knifelizard​:   ❝ always better dead than forgotten, and no one is ever going to forget you. ❞

    “ that a compliment, lizard ? ”  whether or not he means for it to be, dabi will take it as one. after all, do they not both seek that very same thing ?  though the two of them clash more often than not, it’d be ridiculous to deny it.  (  even if the body dies, the memory will live. so long as this shitty existence gives rise to a future devoid of heroes;  where people understand how ugly and villainous they really are beneath their idealistic masks ...  what does it matter ?  )  

    when everything falls into place ...

    his fingers curl, nails grazing against a burnt palm. an eerie smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. despite the pain flaring up where staples  &  stitches hold flesh together, it lingers;  grows, even, as the thoughts run wild in his head.  ‘ endeavour’s ...  no, the number one hero’s son:  it’s so perfect, it’s almost comical. ’  sprawling his arms out over the back of the chair he’d been lounging on, dabi tilts his head back.

    “ ... it won’t be long, now. ”  there will be a reckoning,  and the whole world will bear witness.  “ 'til their foundation begins to crumble. ”

[cremationary]

american gods sentence starters.  |  @wanttm​:  ❝ let me tell you a story. once upon a time, a man got fucked. now, how is that for a story ? ❞ a+ story

    ARE THEY FOR REAL ?   whether they’re off their head on drugs or alcohol, he doesn’t care to find out. maybe they’re just grievously outspoken, or desperate enough to make conversation with the first person they meet in the middle of the street at night.  ‘ i don’t have time for this shit ’  he thinks,  &  expresses as such with a deadpan stare. tilting his head back some, dabi slips a hand from his pocket.

    “ heard better in public bathrooms. if you’re tryin’ to flirt, piss off. ”

[inksplit]

[ichorveiins]

AMERICAN GODS SENTENCE STARTERS

episode two - the secret of spoons. ( contains violence and nsfw themes )

❝ can you hear me ? ❞

❝ you want help ? fine. ❞

❝ let me tell you a story. once upon a time, a man got fucked. now, how is that for a story ? ❞

❝ let me paint a picture of what’s waiting for you on the shore. ❞

❝ and all for what ? ❞

❝ and i ain’t even started yet. ❞

❝ this guy gets it. ❞

❝ angry is good. angry gets shit done. ❞

❝ you’re already dead, asshole. at least die a sacrifice for something worthwhile. ❞

❝ let. the motherfucker. burn ! let it all burn. ❞

❝ were you shot at ? ❞

❝ well it depends on who you ask. ❞

❝ i don’t know what the fuck you speak of. ❞

❝ how was the funeral ? ❞

❝ you wanna come in and talk about it ? ❞

❝ mmm-mmm-mmm. what a little asshole. ❞

❝ oh, you know him ? ❞

❝ they don’t have a fucking clue. ❞

❝ i don’t give a fuck if they don’t have a fucking clue, i want one ! give me a fucking clue ! ❞

❝ good. compact amended. ❞

❝ your first bed as a free man. enjoy it. ❞

❝ an assault on you is an insult to me. don’t think because i didn’t lose my temper i am not angry, or am lacking a plan. ❞

❝ i didn’t mean to wake you. ❞

❝ they told me you died. ❞

❝ you were just having a bad dream. ❞

❝ you going to miss it ? ❞

❝ too many people tell each other not to repress their emotions, to release their feelings, to let the pain go. there’s a lot to be said for bottling up emotions. ❞

❝ what i say has got to be said, so i want you to consider my words very carefully. ❞

❝ say it. ❞

❝ you are only obligated to feel bad about that for so long. ❞

❝ let there be beauty where there can be. ❞

❝ plan is, we will be meeting with a number of people preeminent in their respective fields, and then we will rendezvous in one of the most important places in the country. ❞

❝ i don’t like dropping in on friends empty handed. ❞

❝ you can’t look out for yourself, how the hell are you gonna look out for me ? ❞

❝ not so fast. we need to talk, [ … ] . ❞

❝ funny how things supposed to make you look good only make it worse. ❞

❝ the fuck is this ? ❞

❝ i’m all sorts, [ … ] .❞

❝ i’m the one they sacrifice to. then till now. ❞

❝ time and attention. better than lamb’s blood. ❞

❝ i hate that. i hate that they were hurting you, [ … ] . i would never do that to you. ❞

❝ i want you in my camp with us. ❞

❝ look at it like this: we’re the coming thing. we are already here. ❞

❝ i was impressed with how you dealt with him/her/them. ❞

❝ who’d have thought you had it in you ? ❞

❝ he/she/they were underestimating you. they all are. not a mistake i’ll make. ❞

❝ i can give you so much more. you name it, honey. what do you need ? ❞

❝ don’t fight gravity, [ … ] . i’ve been at this a while. ❞

❝ i’m trying to help you. ❞

❝ keep your neck out of the belt. ❞

❝ that went as well as can be expected. ❞

❝ i think i’m losing my mind. ❞

❝ oh, like the rest of your life is sane. ❞

❝ at times, the universe does seem to have singled you out for unique abuse. in these moments you have to ask yourself, would i rather be ignored ? ❞

❝ always better dead than forgotten, and no one is ever going to forget you. ❞

❝ it’s a sudden onset of strange. fair cause for consternation, unless strange is a new language and what we’re doing here is vocabulary building. ❞

❝ you may have to consider that you didn’t see what you saw, or you did. the world is either crazy or you are. they’re both solid options. take your pick. ❞

❝ when you decide, come and tell me. but don’t rush into it. take your time. difficult decision. ❞

❝ there are bigger sacrifices one might be asked to make than going a little mad. ❞

❝ you wanna know the secret of my success ? the secret is charm. ❞

❝ i only come when matters are vital, as they are now. ❞

❝ god, you are gorgeous. you have not aged. ❞

❝ the truth is not what people want to hear. ❞

❝ prettiest woman, prettiest lies. ❞

❝ black as night, sweet as sin. you take coffee, then i read your future. ❞

❝ he does not know our world. ❞

❝ i’m easing him in. ❞

❝ you are the worst man i have ever seen. ❞

❝ nice to see you, old friend. i brought a gift. ❞

❝ i come here only to share bread and information. what you do with the latter is entirely up to you. ❞

❝ i’d be happy to help. ❞

❝ oh, he is nobody’s husband, and i am nobody’s wife. ❞

❝ family is who you survive with when you need to survive, even if you do not like them. ❞

❝ i am not a good cook. when i was younger there were servants to make meals. here there are no servants; there’s only us. ❞

❝ learning is beneath me. ❞

❝ i thought you were supposed to read tea leaves ? ❞

❝ that bad, huh ? any good news ? ❞

❝ you brought that madness into my life once. never again. ❞

❝ you know me. you know what these hands have done. ❞

❝ you don’t want me, you want [ … ] , and he’s/she’s/they’re not here. ❞

❝ it will be glorious, win or lose. ❞

❝ i am tired of glorious. ❞

❝ everyone thought he/she/they must be the good one. so i became me. ❞

❝ time passes. now i am gray. ❞

❝ i think in the old country i am forgotten, and here, i am like a bad memory. ❞

❝ i know the killing. ❞

❝ to give a good death is art. ❞

❝ every man’s an equal. ❞

❝ is good ? ❞

❝ first blood is mine. so you’ve lost. game is done. ❞

❝ i just started. ❞

❝ ten thousand deaths made right here. ❞

❝ it’s your move. ❞

❝ he’ll take that shot. no joke, no boast, no half-measures. how good are you ? ❞

❝ it’s your decision. ❞

❝ when my voice breaks on this song, remember old love gone. ❞

[cremationary]

❛  the past never dies.  y’reap what you sow !