Would you do 7. "I thought you loved me"? (Mitaka saying this to Hux)
There’s something about the cold blue of the holo projection that reminds Dopheld of the myths of his home world. Armitage had always laughed whenever Dopheld mentioned those beloved childhood tales, but for a man who’d live too long in space and without the joys of a loving family he’d always listened most intently.
He wonders if Armitage is remembering those myths now- all the tales of beloveds stolen by monsters and innocence nobly given for the benefit of the rest. Is that why he is doing this?
Or perhaps that’s just wishful thinking on Dopheld’s part. Perhaps Armitage actually wants this and is trying to spare his feelings. After all, who wouldn’t want that instead of a lowly Lieutenant?
Does it really matter any more?
The Supremacy is stable, but unsalvageable. The Finalizer is engaged in a supply run that puts thousands of light years between them. Even if Armitage did want to be rescued and Dopheld could formulate a plan, there’s no way he would ever be able to put it into action.
“Dopheld? Did you hear me? Please don’t make me say it again.”
Armitage shifts uncomfortably within the frame of the projection. The sight makes Dopheld feel sick to his stomach. The robe he bought for him all those years ago has slipped from his skinny shoulders to reveal a dark band of bruises circling his neck. Dopheld knows those all too well- his own still haven’t healed yet.
“You’re leaving me,” Dopheld repeats in a tone that feels mechanical to the point of cruelty. He hasn’t the strength to show his true feelings- if he opens that valve now it’ll never close again. “You’re leaving me for the Supreme Leader… I thought you loved me.”
“I’m doing this because I love you,” Armitage says so quickly he trips over the syllables.
His eyes dart around the room as if looking for intruders in his own private quarters, but finding nothing but possessions boxed ready for the evacuation he leans forward to continue.
“Kylo doesn’t trust me,” he whispers, “he’s keeping me alive only because I’m valuable to Order and he wants me close enough that I can’t conspire against him…”
“He knows you well then,” Dopheld snaps. It’s unkind but they both know how the older Hux met his end. “I don’t see why…”
“You do see. You’re a smart man Dopheld, you know he’ll view you as a threat if we continue even a long distance relationship.” Armitage sighs. He suddenly looks twenty years past his age. “If I forget you he’ll have no reason to kill you.”
But I’ll have another reason to kill him, replied some tiny suicidal part of Dopheld’s brain but it was overruled before the words could reach his tongue.
“You think I’d rather be living with the thought of him fucking you than simply be dead? You really think that’s better?” Dopheld asks instead, already hating himself when Armitage flinches.
“It’s better for me. Dead men cannot hold an opinion, only the living who made them so. If you live because I’ve done this then that’s one less wasted life on my hands.” Armitage says quietly, gazing at his hands as he speaks.
Dopheld wants to ask what difference his blood can make to the billion stains from the Hosnian system, but he knows his General doesn’t see it that way. He’s thinking of the fall of Starkiller Base.
“Besides,” Armitage goes on with a grim smile, “the man’s a touch starved virgin. He can barely handle the excitement of linking pinky fingers. He’ll probably throw me out of an air lock before he ever gets up the courage to fuck me. Perhaps I can be like that girl from your mother’s stories and find away to delay him every night…”
He sighs again and looks up at Dopheld with eyes that look waterlogged but resigned. His voice is pitched so low Dopheld wonders if he is just imagining his words. “It doesn’t matter. Personal discomfort doesn’t matter. I love you. I won’t let you die because I was too weak to step in harms way.”
Abruptly his Armitage gives way to the cold exterior of General Hux and Dopheld knows then that all is lost.
“I won’t be speaking to you again, Lieutenant Mitaka, but I hope you have a long life, and a happy one.”
“Good luck, General, I wish that you and your betrothed have a marriage as blessed as it deserves to be.” Dopheld doesn’t even bother to keep the bitterness from his voice.
The holo disconnects before he finishes the last word.
If Armitage expects him to trundle on without him for the rest of his life then he has sorely underestimated the depth of Dopheld’s feelings.
He’s going to find away to end Kylo Ren if it’s the last thing he does.
