Running Mind

I write my heart out just to clear my mind.

[crestfallen-world]

Will my friends still remember me when I die? Will they go to my funeral tho? I know a lot of them used me but idk I hope they'll still remember me

[crestfallen-world]

Didn't know i could cry this silent

[crestfallen-world]

I'm still not sure if life is worth living. I'm not sure if all of things that we do in eath will give others a big impact to heal the world especially the pwoppe living in it. Are we supposed to be good at something and make no mistakes in life? Cause i dont really know that much right now. I'm 25 and I still dont know where im going. I still dont know if that path I took is even for me. I still don't know how I would put myself together just to feel fine for the others, how to feel at ease, how to feel that I am precious enough to be loved and to love someone who will truly appreciate and accept me for qho I am. Cos I never did. I accepted every single person in my life because i know that ever person is worth it. Worth the experience worth the love and worth the friendship.

Don't worry, I'm not suicidal anymore. I am just disappointed with how our world and life turned to be like this. How life would be so cruel to us.howlife challenges us with these difficult task that makes us give up right away.

Squid game is a freaking trend right now, but you know what? We're living it. Don't you get it? We're still in this game of life. This game that we can't even escape unless it's immoral.

[crestfallen-world]

Puzzle-d

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[crestfallen-world]

The agog I felt was so fast

It's as if it was her last

[crestfallen-world]

I'm not quite sure if I'm still alright.

These shitty tears falling off my eyes.

I don't even know what I'm crying for

I don't even know if these are tears of joy, or tears of sorrow.

I don't know what to feel right now but I know one thing is for sure, I am tired.

I am fucking tired.

[understands]

[crestfallen-world]

I hope I find my own peace

[crestfallen-world]

We will get through this. ..I promise

[vodkakilledtheteen]

“You know what sucks,” she said. “Sadness always has the bad habit of building itself back up. Even after it gets destroyed into a thousand pieces. Even after I burn it to ashes. I don’t understand. What do I need to do to stop it from coming back?” she looked out the window and started playing with her hair. “I don’t want to sound mean, but there’s one thing I’ve noticed. You never like being alone. You always hold onto other people like you’re running out of air. You can’t live like that. You need to learn how to breathe on your own. You can’t live thinking that your chaos also belongs to others. Sadness always builds itself back up because you don’t know how to put yourself first” I said.

— Alexa Evangelista, the book I’ll never finish writing

[inspiration-and-motivation]

A thousand disappointments in the past cannot equal the power of one positive action right now. Go ahead & go for it.

[crestfallen-world]

Kaya ba

Kaya ko pa kayang tumayo sa sarili kong paa? Kaya ko pa rin bang magawa ang mga gawain tulad ng dati? Naway bigyan ako ng lakas, at katatagan ng loob na malampasan at maisagawa nang tama ang lahat. Gusto ko lang naman na bumalik sa dati kong pagkatao

[trololos-world]

It's the first day of the year and I already wanna kill myself 🙃

[crestfallen-world]

2019 Scanned Films

[crestfallen-world]

Self love y'all

[crestfallen-world]

Dear Ex-Something

Dear Ex-Something,

Hi. I just want to say that I just want to thank you for everything. Everything that you’ve done, you’ve shared, you’ve given to me. For the time that I was feeling down, you were there. Literally there. Making effort to travel from our province to Manila. For the time the you shared. For the late night phone calls, for the never ending stories, thank you.

You said that girls told you that you were boring because you just want to listen or talk non-sense things, but I don’t. I don’t find you boring. I always want to listen to you, to your stories and I always want to hear your husky voice.

I loved that voice. Especially when  you just woke up. Especially when you sing. I loved that. Your voice was my happy pill. I just feel your love for me whenever you sing, whenever you talk. 

Even when you’re away, I just feel that you’re always there beside me. Always there to keep me strong, always there to tell me that I can do it. 

For those things that you’ve done for me, I will treasure it. I always will. Even if we’re not together anymore, I will always be here for you...as a mom, as a friend, as a sister, as a bestfriend, as a teacher, as a coach, as your something, and as a guidance counselor. I’m always here to help you when you don’t know what to do anymore. I’m always here to tell you that you can do anything. That you can be the guy you always wanted to be. I’m always here to be with you when you need a company. I’m always here to be your  happy pill...even if i’m not anymore. I will try my best to help you to be happy. 

I’m sorry, it didn’t workout. I’m sorry you never got a chance to brag the whole world that i was yours. I love you and I always will. That’s a fact.

Love,

The girl who was never been yours

[crestfallen-world]

Dear Self

I know you’re struggling. I know you gave up, but still you are trying your best to accomplish everything on time. I know you want to give peace and your parents a good life. I know you want to help them, ever since you were a child. I know you want to do everything just to make sure that everything will be alright. I know that you really can. I know that you can do everything, it’s just that your freaking nervous and all fades away. I know you want to be the best---and you’re trying everything you could to be the best. I know you want to make everyone happy----but dear, I’ll ask you, were you happy? Were you living your live for the past 20 years? I tell you the answer, NO. You were so selfless. Selfless that you forgot the word, the thought and the meaning “life”. Dear, you should live your life being selfish sometimes. 

When you feel that you don’t have a friend to hold on to, just pray, my dear. He’ll always be there for you. I tell you, he’s always there, waiting for you to tell your problem. He will listen, my dear. 

When you feel unloved,don’t be. You thought that no one loves or cares for you, but really---seriously, everyone cares for you. Everyone loves you for who you are. Everyone loves--wants to be you, because you’re strong enough to fight, to hide and to let everyone feel that everything is going to be alright, even though it won’t. You let everyone feel that, there is hope in everything, even though hope won’t happen. 

Dear, I want you to breathe in, breathe out. Sometimes, you have to go and find yourself. I hope that you’ll try to cope with it. You’ll try to smile for yourself. You’ll try to be happy for yourself---for everything that you do. Don’t think that everything will fall out and fade away. Dear, I want you to be stronger, be courageous in everything because I know that you can, and you will do everything even though you’re freaking giving up. Everything will be over. I just want you to always keep moving forward, because if you keep moving back, all the pain will just be there in your heart, and you’ll be carrying that shit until the end of your life.