[crickwater]

me as soon as I come to a horrifying understanding about how fundamentally fucked up my relationship to sex is: okay but what if it was shane hollander

[crickwater]

the fact that there's not a proper hollanov btvs au is a tragedy. like shane and ilya with buffy and spike's s5-7 dynamic would be so good...... shane as the slayer trying so hard to be perfect hating himself for his attraction to this vampire...... ilya as the vampire who find himself obssesed with the slayer he wanted to kill originally...... ugh

[crickwater]

I miss my parents (axmurph)

[crickwater]

a fic I read just hit me with the jew-ish shane hollander.......... I love you

[crickwater]

thinking abt ilya canonically having sex with his brother's girlfriend. kinda wanna write a fic where his niece finds out she's his biological daughter and comes to the us to escape her shitty dad

[futchcassidyandthecumdancekid]

i dont even care about getting “high” i just really enjoy coughing so fucking hard

[crickwater]

people make ilya and shane cry way too easily in fics. these are two emotionally repressed hockey players they would not cry so easily and shamelessly

[crickwater]

pastry chef shane and sweet tooth ilya fic is coming along 🫡🫡🫡

[crickwater]

people are showing interest in my pastry chef shane fic however what if instead I wrote. the antidepressants induced erectile dysfunction ilya fic no one wants

[shanehollandered]

shane “hey everyone, shane hollander is an asshole” hollander

[crickwater]

if no else likes. my post at least I have michael. shoutout michael

[crickwater]

lover, please stay with me

Fandom: Heated Rivalry

Relationship: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Rating: T

Words: 8,519

Summary:

Shane’s world breaks apart over his morning coffee. In which Ilya can't help it anymore, and they never get to figure it out.

big suicide trigger warning.

read on ao3

[crickwater]

It's a mind body problem

Fandom: Heated Rivalry

Relationship: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov

Rating: E

Words: currently 21,537 (work in progress)

Summary:

“What the fuck is this, hollander?” Rozanov waves a piece of paper angrily at him. Shane stares at Rozanov, confused. “It’s a ticket?” “No shit! What’s with all these modifications? No butter, no seed oil, salad instead of rice, no sauce? You think this is build a bear?”

Shane starts a new job as a waiter. it's fine, except for the annoying line cook who won't leave him alone.

hollanov restaurant au! featuring kitchen argument, copious smut, and Shane being so repressed he thinks his brain injury made him gay

read on ao3

[future-crab]

affirmations: Alecto the Ninth is a real book that will be released some day. I will live to see the release of Alecto the Ninth.

[crickwater]

ANOTHER HOLLANOX FIC IDEA HAS HIT THE TOWERS

[crickwater]

time to work on my cute little hollanov fic! first step is, of course, coming up with a full patisserie menu,

[crickwater]

on the one hand I'm literally already writing a restaurant au. on the other hand I can't stop thinking abt pastry chef shane. he would be so good at it... my man's croissants come out perfect everytime. he measures the thickness of the dough to the mm. he tempers and cuts white chocolate into perfect squares for his entremets. ilya has a massive sweet tooth and a massive crush on the freckled guy he can see through the window. would anyone wanna read this

[crickwater]

Shane does a beginner's pastry course and Ilya signs up despite having no interest in baking just to have a chance to flirt with the cute serious pastry chef...