After seeing how successful Love Your Artist week was, and all the love that went around there, I thought it might be nice to keep some of that going, and do something cool, specifically for fic authors.
Fan fiction authors give so much to fandoms, whether they post fics once a day or once every couple of months. It takes a lot of effort and guts to not only write pieces, but to share them with the internet, however, they do often go under appreciated.
Fic writers typically don’t ask for commissions like other artists do and put the same amount of effort into their work for completely free, their writing gets far less notes than a piece of fan art would, and they don’t get the same exposure or even personal feedback. Of course, artists of all types are extremely talented and fantastic, but there is definitely an imbalance.
For the week of Monday July 13th - Sunday July 19th, we should try to take part in a week that will give authors a chance to hear from their readers and fans!
And here’s a few ways to do that:
Each day, pick a fic writer or two, and send them a message. Let them know what you love about their writing, what your favorite piece is etc. Something nice and personal that will let them know their stories have power.
Reblog fics instead of liking them. More people will see them, more people will read them, and the author can get a wider range of feedback on their writing.
Create Fic Recommendation posts, where you share your favorite fics and WHY you love them!
Let’s let the writers of fandoms know that their work is so, so appreciated and help them to improve their craft! A simple message could be a writer’s reason to keep working, and to remember why they love sharing their stories in the first place!
my name is cris. this is my writing / mostly fanfic blog find me on ao3 here
“You should see the stars where I’m from. They’re great because it’s so far away from the city, especially in the mountains. You can see everything. It makes me think… Sometimes, when I’m missing you…” Shouyou paused, his hand ghosting over Kenma’s own. “Sometimes when I’m missing you, I look at the sky. I know it’s cheesy and probably stupid, but as long as we’re under the same sky, I don’t feel so lonely.”
KenHina - fic under the cut as well
“Kenma!” Someone shouted, loud enough to be heard above the chatter of the crowd around him. Kenma turned off the game he was playing and glanced in the direction of the voice.
It wasn’t hard to spot Hinata Shouyou – a person so bright many compared him to the sun. Kenma did, too. Shouyou was like the sun that had finally broken through dark, grey clouds, bright and infectious. Unknowingly, a smile pulled at the edges of Kenma’s mouth when Shouyou finally popped out of the crowd, grinning at him.
“It sure is crowded today! And hot, too!” The first year said, closing the distance between them. He sat down heavily on the chair next to Kenma, fanning himself with his ball cap, dropping a bag on the ground next to him.
Kenma nodded, holding out a glass of cold tea, trying to keep his hand from shaking. It was only the second time he and Shouyou had gone out alone together – and, of course, Shouyou looked cuter than he ever remembered (pictures just didn’t do him justice).
“Ah, thanks!” Shouyou grinned, accepting the glass to drink. Kenma watched him gulp it down, every swallow making his adam’s apple dance. If he wasn’t nervous before, he was definitely nervous now, shit. He looked away, trying to distract himself with the people crowded around them. “That was so good! Do you have the menu? I’m starving!”
“Here,” Kenma held out the piece of plastic, sneaking a glance back at Shouyou’s dazzling smile. He blushed, looking away again. Shouyou was too cute. He was dressed in a plaid button up (red and black, Kenma noted), with a white t-shirt peeking out from under, grey shorts and his usual sneakers. Kenma felt awkward in his plain outfit – a black t-shirt and dark jeans.
“Hey.” There was a hand on his now, making Kenma jump, startled at the touch. “You don’t have to be so nervous, Kenma. I want to be here.”
“I know. I just don’t… Like crowds, I guess,” he replied, turning his hand over to grip Shouyou’s, despite feeling himself start to sweat.
“Well, let’s just get something to eat and then we can head to your place!” He grinned, squeezing Kenma’s hand in reassurance.
“Okay,” Kenma agreed, a smile finally quirking on his face. Shouyou paused, eyes widening. Kenma felt awkward for second before a blush spread across his boyfriend’s face. “Why are you blushing?”
He asked before he could stop himself.
“I-I don’t know!” Shouyou said, looking intensely at the menu in his hands. “You smiled and my heart just kinda, uh, did a gwaaah thing and I felt really warm and then my face was hot and I don’t know!”
“Shouyou,” Kenma chuckled, feeling himself relax, now knowing he wasn’t the only one freaking out. “You don’t have to be nervous. I want to be here”
The redhead laughed at his words echoed back at him, grinning. “Right. Anyway, I’m ready to order! I’m starved!” Shouyou started to wave his hand, trying to flag a waiter down.
*
After their meal, they were both more relaxed. Kenma put his sunhat back on, slipping on sunglasses. He didn’t mind the heat or the sun, but it bothered him to look at everything so bright and in his face. Shouyou also put his cap back on, a bag wrapped around his chest.
“Did you bring your clothes?” Kenma asked, bumping his shoulder into Shouyou.
“Of course! Last time I forgot, I had to wear your old pajamas! I looked so lame in them!” He whined, his hand reaching out to grab Kenma’s so naturally, like they had done this a million times.
“I thought you looked cute,” the other boy replied, voice quiet – a little in shock by being able to hold hands with his boyfriend, regardless of the crowds around them. He didn’t mind them so much, anymore. Not when the sun anchored him here.
“You have to say that, Kenma!” Shouyou laughed, grinning up at him. “Do you wanna go back home now? It seems like it’s getting a little more crowded.”
He nodded, “I hope you don’t mind. I know you probably wanted to-“
“I just want to be with you. I’m okay with wherever we go!” Shouyou interrupted him, swinging their hands together.
Kenma laughed a little, the shadow of a smile on his face. “You have to say that.”
Shouyou laughed, loud, “No! You don’t get to use my words against me again! I’m serious!”
“Okay. Let’s go.”
They headed to the station, Kenma leading a chattering Shouyou through the crowded streets. Their hands stayed clasped together, even when bumped and shoved by the rough crowds. Shouyou kept up most of the conversation, talking about his team and how Kageyama and he seemed to be getting close enough to be called friends. Kenma felt a twinge of jealousy, but squashed it just as soon as he felt it. Shouyou was here, with him. He made the almost two hour trip just to see him. He didn’t have anything to be jealous of.
“Even though Kageyama wanted to practice this weekend since we didn’t have team practice, I was like, no! I want to see Kenma! He was a little mad, but I don’t care. I would much rather be here, with you, than with him any day of the week! Even though he’s my team mate and friend, I don’t like him nearly as much as I like you.” Shouyou grinned at him, pulling Kenma out of his train wreck of a thought.
“Shouyou,” Kenma couldn’t help smiling back. “We’re here,” he announced, as they arrived at the station. “We can…do some… tosses… later, if you want,” he offered quietly, pulling out his card to buy tickets.
Shouyou jumped at this. “Really? No way! Really?! Are you sure? You don’t have to push yourself if you don’t want to, Kenma, but that’d be so awesome!”
Kenma smiled, holding out a ticket for him. “I’ll do it because I want to, not because you’re pushing me to do it, Shouyou.”
“Oh! You’re so awesome! You’re the best boyfriend ever!” He cheered, practically bouncing. Kenma was sure that if they weren’t holding hands, Shouyou would have floated away.
“Come on, let’s go. We have a bit of a ride.” Kenma hid his smile, pulling Shouyou along, again.
It was cooler, in the station, but not by much. And having Shouyou pressed up against his side wasn’t helping with how warm he felt. On the train ride to his home, Kenma pulled out his game to play while Shouyou watched over his shoulder. Normally, he’d be able to concentrate, but with Shouyou leaning so close and his breath ghosting over the back of his neck every couple of seconds, he was distracted – losing more often than winning.
“Wow, you kinda suck at that game,” Shouyou laughed as Kenma died at the same spot for the seventh time in a row.
“Wanna try?” Kenma sighed, holding out his console to Shouyou.
“Sure!” His excitement was infectious, and Kenma snuggled up to watch him play.
But his excitement could only last so long. It was hot, really hot, on the train. Kenma could feel how sweaty his scalp was under his black sunhat – not helped by how close Shouyou was, with his flailing limbs, sticky sweaty leg pressed against his. Strangers smiled in their direction, no doubt amused by the ginger’s reactions to the game he was playing. Kenma squished himself closer, making sure no one would try to take him away.
Stop, he said to himself. No one will try to take Shouyou away and, besides, Shouyou said he wanted to be with him, no one else. There was no point in getting all worked up.
“Isn’t this our stop?” Shouyou said, poking Kenma’s cheek.
“Huh?”
Shouyou laughed, putting the console in Kenma’s hands. “I guess you must have zoned out but they just announced our stop. Come on, let’s head closer to the door.” The boy jumped up, holding out his hand for Kenma.
He nodded, allowing himself to be pulled up and along.
*
“Hello, Shouyou-kun,” Kenma’s mother greeted the boys as they bustled through the kitchen. “Did you have fun in the city?”
“Tons! I hope you’re doing well, Kozume-san! Kenma and I are gonna leave our stuff upstairs and then he’s gonna toss to me some!”
“Oh? Kenma, you’re doing extra practice? Don’t let Tetsurou see or he’ll be mad.” The woman laughed, kindly and softly, matching her son’s voice.
“He’s gone this weekend. He’s actually down in Miyagi, right, Shouyou?” Kenma was already at the stairs, waiting.
“Right! I actually saw him arriving as I was leaving. Seems like he took the morning train,” Shouyou laughed. “Anyway, it was good seeing you again, Kozume-san! We’ll be back for dinner!”
“I’m sure you will,” she smiled, waving them off and going back to typing on the laptop in front of her.
The boys dropped off their things in Kenma’s room, Shouyou changing out of his plaid shirt to reveal… A white t-shirt with a strange saying on it.
“What’s that for?” Kenma asked, grabbing a pair of shorts from his dresser.
“Oh! Noya-senpai gave it to me! Told me it’d be good luck this weekend,” Shouyou blushed, fidgeting with the hem of the shirt. Right down the middle was written, “Love strong! Love fast! Love!”
“It’s cute,” Kenma reassured, stepping into the closet to change.
“You don’t have to say that all the time, you know. I’m already your boyfriend.”
“Well, you’re still cute,” he replied, kicking his pants off. He slipped the shorts on, making sure they were comfortable. After all, they were gonna be outside for a very long time.
*
“You’re not too tired, are you, Kenma?” Shouyou asked, running toward him with the ball in his hand.
The sun was finally touching the horizon after hours of grueling tossing to his boyfriend with an endless stream of energy and stamina. At one point, Shouyou received a text from, not only his captain, but from both Karasuno setters, Noya-senpai, and the coach to practice his receives, if he can. If Kenma thought tossing to Shouyou was exhausting, he underestimated how terrible his boyfriend was at receives. Even when the ball want wayward, there he was chasing after it.
“I’m not… Okay, maybe just a little,” he replied, laying on the ground, watching the sky darken.
“You’ve been great! I think I’m finally getting the hang of receives!” Shouyou laughed, falling on the ground next to him.
They laid there, watching the stars begin to twinkle.
“Do you like the stars, Kenma?”
“They’re nice. Quiet. Predictable. Dependable.”
“Hm,” Shouyou hummed, turning his head to look at Kenma. “Basically the opposite of me?”
Kenma’s face distorted, trying to think of something to say back to that. No, that’s not what he meant. Shouyou had a quiet way about him when he was concentrating – like when he played, there was an intensity around him that could sneak up on someone. Sure, he could be unpredictable with his movement, but everyone had a pattern. And – And he was dependable. Whenever his team mates needed him, Shouyou was there. Whenever Kenma needed him, he was just a phone call away.
Loud laughter interrupted his thoughts as Shouyou looked back up at the sky. “I’m joking, Kenma.”
“Oh.”
They laid in silence again, Kenma calming down from the previous question.
“You should see the stars where I’m from. They’re great because it’s so far away from the city, especially in the mountains. You can see everything. It makes me think… Sometimes, when I’m missing you…” Shouyou paused, his hand ghosting over Kenma’s own. “Sometimes when I’m missing you, I look at the sky. I know it’s cheesy and probably stupid, but as long as we’re under the same sky, I don’t feel so lonely.”
It was Kenma’s turn to stare now. Shouyou was looking at him with those intense eyes, shining like the stars would if not for all the light pollution.
“I love you,” Kenma breathed, the words slipping out of his mouth for the first time – though he thought them a million times before.
Shock registered on Shouyou’s face, as the words sunk in. Kenma held his breath, thinking of all the times he thought them before: When he took the time to send Shouyou more than a one worded reply; when he decided to call instead of text; when he actually sent pictures of things around him that Shouyou may like; when he tried to watch the weird anime his boyfriend was into; when he put in the extra time to practice tossing and receiving with him; when Shouyou would rest his head against Kenma’s shoulder. All of these small, seemingly meaningless moments, and more - where he thought the words. When the words threatened to spill out of his mouth but he managed to be content with his thoughts. Until now.
Then, Shouyou smiled. He blinked rapidly, like there was dirt in his eyes. Or tears. “Kenma, you jerk!”
Well, that’s not certainly not the reaction he was hoping for. Kenma sat up, trying to pull his hand away but Shouyou pulled him back, sitting up next to him.
“I wanted to say it first! I love you, too! I love you so much!” Shouyou was blushing and teary.
“You’re so cute,” Kenma whispered, not able to help himself.
“There you go again! Stop making me love you even more!” Shouyou shouted, hugging Kenma.
He’s so cute, Kenma thought, and I’m so lucky.
“Boys! Dinner!” Kenma’s mother shouted, waving at them.
“Come on, Shouyou. I’m sure you’re hungry.”
“I don’t wanna move.”
“Well, I’m sweaty. And hungry. Let’s go.”
Shouyou grumbled something into Kenma’s neck, causing the older teen to actually laugh. It had been a while since he laughed like that. It must be love.
“Later?” Shouyou asked, pulling away at last.
“We can hug all you want later.”
*
“That was so good!” Shouyou fell onto Kenma’s bed. He had showered after they ate, letting Kenma go first. “I feel so happy. And your bed smells nice.” He curled up into himself.
“Already going to sleep?” Kenma said from his computer, saving all his open files and shutting down for the night.
“No! I wanted to hug you again!”
Kenma laughed, making sure everything was shut down correctly. Shouyou was so cute, as if Kenma would deny him. He was so happy. He was happy to be with the boy he loved. “I’m almost done here and then we can lay down and sleep.”
“Okay, O- Hold on!” Shouyou jumped up so suddenly, Kenma jumped too. “I almost forgot!” He was rummaging in his overnight bag, a determined look on his face.
“You scared the shit out of me, Shouyou,” Kenma said, breathless.
“Sorry! I just wanted… To say thank you, for everything. Today.” He smiled up at him, holding out a small box with a bow on it.
“You didn’t have to get me anything.”
“I wanted to. And I did it because I wanted to, not because you pushed me to,” Shouyou grinned. Kenma swore he said something similar earlier. “Please accept my feelings!”
“I already did, you bozo,” Kenma replied, trying to hide his own smile. Shouyou handed him the wrapped box, bouncing around on his knees in anticipation. He seemed more excited than Kenma. “I’m opening it, calm down.”
Slow and careful, he slid the wrapping paper and bow off, revealing… “Monster Hunter? Shouyou! This just came out! I haven’t even gotten it yet, though I was planning on it next weekend, I! Wow! You didn’t, no, this is too much!”
Kenma didn’t know what to say, staring at the game in his hands. He had wanted to buy it, but wanted to make sure he had enough money for Shouyou’s stay. He wanted to take him out around the city – to the arcades, the cat cafes, anything. But in order to do so, he had to hold off on even preordering the game and now – Now here it was.
“Kenma, don’t cry!” Shouyou pounced on him, grinning like the ray of sunshine he was.
“Well, your mom told me that you had been saving up money for me coming over and then Kuroo-san told me you hadn’t ordered this new game because of me and –“
“It’s not your fault I didn’t order it. I wanted to treat you first. You’re… Important to me,” Kenma interrupted, smiling at his boyfriend.
“And you’re important to me! You make me so happy when you take me to these wonderful places in Tokyo or even just toss to me! I wanted to make you happy too!”
“You make me happy just by being here. With me.”
“Stop, you’re so mushy!” Shouyou laughed; it was his turn to hide his face.
“Come on, I’ll play this after you leave. You said you wanted hugs right?” Kenma laughed, standing and dragging Shouyou up with him.
“Right! Right! Make sure to tell me how much you suck at it, just like earlier,” Shouyou laughed, bouncing back on the bed.
“Whatever,” Kenma laughed, turning off his light. “Scoot over.”
They stared at each other as their eyes adjusted to the darkness. Shouyou couldn’t stop smiling, his hands wandering to Kenma’s hair – it was so silky, he thought, running his fingers through it. It was pretty. Just like Kenma.
Kenma felt more content than ever, laying in this dark room with the boy made of sunshine. Here, in his small, insignificant bedroom on a normal weekend in the suburbs of Tokyo, he knew there was something happening. Something that could change the world. It was warm. It was safe. With the boy he loved in his arms, he knew something was happening, especially knowing the other boy loved him back. He just wished the night would never end but – for the first time in a long time – Kenma was excited to see the sun rise.
Can I ask 4 with the Tsukishima brothers and Yamaguchi Tadashi? I already but you know, only if you want to ♥ ♥ *kisses your butt*
ahhh I’M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG i have actually had it written for a while but i just haven’t the time to edit and post (i know it’s short but i feel like i have to edit EVERYTHING —- a bad habit i’m definitely tryin to break lmao)anyway not entirely sure what you had in mind, so I hope you like this anyway anon!!!! \ouo/
"I’m flirting with you"
Aaaaand it’s below the -read more-, maybe i’ll post it to Ao3 at some point lmao but enjoy!
where makoto is a writing major in college who went on a tour and got lost out in the middle of the wilderness and meets haru, who thinks makoto is just the most beautiful person in all his colours
they marry at a young age and haru moves back to the city with makoto, who becomes a teacher - not something he loves, but something he can do.
sometimes they fight, but they always make up. and the one day, haru loses his battle with an illness he's been fighting forever. makoto loses himself for weeks on sadness until his birthday comes around and...
The lights were off. Of course, Rin thought, why wouldn’t they be. Ai was probably already in bed. He set his bags down on the ground, making his way to the kitchen. Rin stopped in his tracks, seeing a cake sitting on the table, a candle burnt out in the middle of it.
Rin tapped his foot and checked his watch for the hundredth time that minute, feeling overwhelmed with anxiety and irritation. But when he thought he was going to strangle something – or someone – headlights finally, finally shone through the mist of the night, a vehicle stopping in front of him.
“Where to?” The driver asked in a bored tone as Rin tossed his bag inside and followed suit.
He already felt irritated that he was as late as he was, but he tried to bite it back as he gave the cabbie Ai’s address. Honestly, Rin didn’t think his flight would have been delayed, otherwise he would have flown in the day before.
Rin bit his cheek, angry with himself for not planning accordingly. He knew Ai’s birthday was already over, sighing as he checked his watch again. The display showed 6:26 A.M., January fifth, mocking him as the seconds flew by. Fuck, he thought, running a hand through the locks of hair not trapped in his ponytail. He was a shitty boyfriend.
“Sir, could you drive a little faster?” Rin asked, trying to smile at him nicely.
The driver grimaced at him in the mirror but the car sped up. Rin thought it was his manners but – what he didn’t realize was that the driver had caught a glimpse of sharp teeth gleaming at him. Stories of poor cab drivers dying at the hands of demons and other supernatural creatures at a time where night met day suddenly came to mind – And what was with that hair? The cabbie gulped, looking at his GPS. Thank god, they were nearly there.
Rin sighed, checking his watch again before looking out the window. The area was familiar, making him feel antsy. He was so close, so close to where Ai was no doubt already sleeping. Thankfully, Momo and Nagisa celebrated the day with him, keeping him company. Or that's what Rin gleamed from the texts Ai had sent in reply to Rin’s excessive apologies.
“W-We’re here,” the driver stuttered out, his hands gripping the steering wheel tight enough to turn his knuckles white.
“Thank you. How much is the fare?” Rin asked, grabbing his wallet.
After he paid, Rin waved the driver off, noticing the relief that washed over his face. Weird, Rin thought, but put it out of his mind. He let himself in, knowing the code to Ai’s place, walking as fast as he could without jostling Ai’s cake.
The lights were off. Of course, Rin thought, why wouldn’t they be. Ai was probably already in bed. He set his bags down on the ground, making his way to the kitchen. Rin stopped in his tracks, seeing a cake sitting on the table, a candle burnt out in the middle of it.
His heart felt weak.
Rin set a wrapped box and the cake box on the table next to the other cake, staring incredulously at it. The cake was heart-shaped, strawberries lining the sides with the words “Happy Birthday Ai!” scrawled messily on it. Nagisa and Momo probably made it, judging by the duck decorations. It would have been a cute cake, if not for the waxy residue of the burnt out candle.
Rin ran a hand through his hair again, a sad smile spreading across his face before freezing - He heard a groan from the living room. Jogging through the doorway, he saw a figure lying on the couch, a throw blanket covering them.
“Ai?” Rin’s voice came out as a croak, emotion welling up in his heart.
The figure sat up, soft grey hair messy and pointing in all different directions. Ai rubbed his eyes, a smile – the one he saved for Rin, the patient one, the genuinely happy one – pulled up the corner of his lips, sleep still fogging his face.
“I thought I heard you come in,” Ai said, stretching.
“Ai,” Rin said again, rushing through the living room and collapsing in front of him. “You idiot,” he grumbled as he wrapped his arms around Ai’s middle, pressing his head against Ai’s chest. His heartbeat always made him feel calm.
Ai laughed, a quiet, magical laugh, running his hands through Rin’s hair to release it from the ponytail. “Why do you say that?”
“You should be in bed,” Rin muttered against the silky cloth of Ai’s vest. Ai’s…vest?! Rin interrupted what Ai was about to say by pushing himself back and taking in the image of his boyfriend.
He wore a blue bowtie (skewed from sleep), a white button down (wrinkled), and a black, silky vest with black dress pants (also wrinkled). Ai looked really nice, really good. Rin blushed when he realized he had checking Ai out so blatantly.
“Like what you see?” Ai laughed, leaning down to kiss Rin’s forehead. “I’m sorry, I probably look like a mess, huh? Welcome home.”
“I’m home,” Rin replied automatically, eyes locked on Ai’s. “Ai, I’m so so-“
Lips stopped his words, overwhelming his senses. It was over just as quickly as it started. “Rin, I swear, if you apologize to me, I’m gonna kill you,” Ai said, a laugh in his voice as he stood. “Come on, let’s have cake.”
Rin watched him walk to the kitchen, before he stood to follow. “The candle already melted on it.”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot about that,” he replied, looking down at the cake with a frown.
“Why didn’t you blow it out earlier?” Rin asked, sitting down at the kitchen table.
Ai looked at him before replying, “I didn’t want to make a wish without you here.”
“You could have wished for me,” Rin laughed. “Here’s your gift.” He pushed the box toward Ai, who now sat down in front of the ruined cake.
“I knew I already had you,” Ai replied, laughing. “Did you wrap it yourself?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m surprised it looks nice then,” Ai winked, turning the wrapped box over in his hands. “You know, I’m not sad or disappointed you missed my birthday. I’m happy you were thinking of me. The date doesn’t matter to me. My birthday isn’t what matters but… Who I spend it with is. And I’m happy to spend it with you.”
“Ai,” Rin said, feeling his eyes water. “I’m glad it’s your birthday because I’m just really happy you’re alive.”
“Rin,” Ai smiled, holding the box tightly in his hand. “Don’t be such a sap.”
“Oi! I’m just telling the tru- Wait! I got you a cake too!” Rin said suddenly, gulping down his tears. “Here’s another candle.”
Ai helped Rin set the other cake up, ooh-ing and aww-ing at how pretty the cake Rin bought for him was. “Let me get the lights!” Rin grinned, standing to turn the kitchen light off. He sat down next to Ai, the smile on his face never leaving. Sure, he missed most of the day but if Ai was happy with this…then so was he.
“You have to sing,” Ai said, pushing Rin’s shoulder jokingly.
“Fine, fine,” Rin agreed. He began to sing ‘happy birthday’, Ai joining in by clapping along. “Alright, now make a wish!”
Ai laughed, pausing to think for a moment. “Okay,” he finally said, before leaning forward to blow the candle out. Darkness shrouded over them, the only light coming from the moonbeams streaming through the window.
“Rin?” Ai breathed out, standing. Rin stood, watching Ai’s silhouette approach him. Rin could make out his sky blue eyes peering up at him.
“Ai.” He reached out, pulling their bodies closer, leaning down to press his lips against Ai’s – the kiss was soft, gentle, slow. They parted after a moment, arms still wrapped around each other. “I hope that’s what you wished for.”
Another laugh, and Rin was being pulled down, being kissed. Ai sucked on his lip and Rin let him in, deepening the kiss. He was pushed against the table, hand gripping the ledge for support. Then he remembered, “Your present!” he said against Ai’s lips.
“I’ll unwrap you instead,” Ai said, voice breathy.
“Ai, this can wait, I really want to see you open this first!” Rin kissed him and then pushed away. He went to turn the lights on, turning back to a pouty Ai. “Don’t look at me like that, babe. We have all day for that.”
“I guess you have a point,” Ai sighed, turning back to sit down. “It’s been too long.”
“I want to, too,” Rin said, ruffling Ai’s soft hair. “And we will. You can top first, if you want. But I want you to open this first!”
Ai looked at him intensely, excitement and lust lighting up his eyes. “Okay,” he finally agreed, smiling at him, a glow on his face.
He slid his finger under the neatly wrapped paper, letting it fall open. There was a plain, unmarked box; nothing remarkable, obviously. Ai opened the top, revealing another box. He tilted his head, looking confused. Rin urged him on, telling him to open it.
Ai did, only to see… another box. He huffed, leveling a stare at Rin, who only grinned back. Ai rolled his eyes, opening that box. Inside that one was what was clearly a ring box. Ai’s breath caught, his fingers grazing over the velvety outside of it. His hand shook as he removed it from where it was nestled. Finally he opened it.
“Uh, Rin… I think you forgot some-“
He was cut off as Rin stood abruptly, a smile on his face. “Rin?” Ai watched as Rin stepped around the table and then kneel in front of him. “Rin?” Ai stood, his chair toppling over. “Rin, what –“
“You have to say yes first,” Rin grinned up, holding up a ring – blue diamonds were set in around the band of it, tasteful. Rin was pretty proud of himself, thinking of this idea after watching an American movie while in Australia.
“Say yes to… You? Obviously I would! You idiot!” Ai exclaimed, grabbing Rin by the front of his shirt and pulling him up. “Stop being so romantic!” Rin laughed as Ai kissed him again. “Yes, yes, yes, yes!”
Rin slipped the ring on Ai’s finger, smiling as Ai’s eyes lit up with happiness. Rin’s own heart felt overwhelmingly happy. Sure, the day started off fucking terrible – missing a flight only to find himself on a delayed plane, sitting next to one of the most obnoxious and loud persons he ever met causing him to want to strangle everything while he sweated on that too-small space and trapping him there on the most important date to him (outside his father’s anniversary). But now, here they were. Ai was smiling. That’s all he wanted.
“Happy birthday, Aiichirou,” Rin said, kissing him. “Happy birthday.”
Psithurism – (n) the sound of the wind through trees
Rin just wanted to go for a jog. He hadn’t expected Nitori to jump up at the opportunity to prove himself just as capable as his senpai, and now here they were. Nitori ran a couple of steps behind him, trying to keep up. While they were both in shape, Rin was more used to the effort in these daily runs while Nitori’s endurance usually only lasted in the water.
“We can take a break if you want,” Rin said, looking over his shoulder.
Nitori shook his head, “I’m fine!”
“Whatever you say.” Rin looked forward, reminding himself that Nitori was old enough to take care of himself. He wasn’t a baby, after all.
They ran without talking, only the sound of their breaths and footfalls interrupting the silence. They made three lamps around the campus, which was Rin’s usual. As they slowed to a walk, Rin stretched, thinking how comfortable it was to hear the sound of another person. Usually it was just him and his thoughts.
It was cloudy that day, a breeze picking up. The rustling of the leaves was calming so Rin closed his eyes. He could feel Nitori’s presence next to him, warm, solid, comforting. It was a good feeling, listening to the wind fly through the trees while he had a person who he loved next to him.
“Ai,” Rin said, his eyes still closed.
“Senpai?”
“This was nice.”
Nitori made a noise of approval, grabbing hold of Rin’s hand. For once, the red head didn’t protest and allowed himself to be pulled closer. Slowly, Rin wrapped his arms around Nitori’s shoulders, resting his head on the other teen’s shoulders. The breeze picked up, the rustling of leaves getting louder. It didn’t matter to Rin.
Rin looked down at the teen in his arms, his boyfriend of three days, 4 hours, and 27 minutes. It was a relief to call Nitori that – his boyfriend. After months of painful interactions, awkward moments, and almost-kisses, they finally exploded and reached a climax of tears and shouting of how much they cared and liked each other.
With a laugh, Rin brushed Aiichirou’s cheek with the back of his hand, relishing in the softness of his skin. He traced his eye’s with a finger and followed the curve of his nose. Rin stared at Aiichirou’s slightly parted lips and sighed. They were like soft rose petals, inviting and beautiful.
But he didn’t want their first kiss to be here – in a dorm room that had plain beige walls, two desks shoved on one side with mountains of books and papers, a bunk beds with covers strewn about. Not in this dorm room where he had laid in his bed for hours on end and wondered why he wasn’t good enough; where he cried over lost loves, lost innocence, lost dreams; where the echoes of his nightmares haunted him late into the night and latched onto his conscious. Where he fell in love with the silver-haired, blue-eyed, always positive, always there Nitori Aiichirou.
Although Ai was sleeping, Rin blushed in spite of himself, unable to stare at him any longer. He wanted so badly to press his lips roughly against the other’s, to feel him closer than before, to breath together, to taste him, to scrape their teeth against, to play with his tongue, to feel their saliva mix together – He wanted it so badly.
He brushed his thumb against Ai’s lips, their appearance only that – they felt chapped, dry, but still. Rin wanted to kiss him so bad. To kiss those chapped lips, to chap them further, to feel Ai smile against his mouth, to swallow his laughs and words – Rin wanted it all.
“Rin-senpai?” Nitori sleepily opened his eyes, staring up at the other teen, sparkling blue eyes staring right into Rin’s soul, as if he knew what the other was thinking. “Why are you touching my mouth?”
Embarrassed, Rin pushed himself back, only to fall off the bed. “Ai! Uh, I was just thinking how chapped your lips were! Not that that’s a bad thing but, um… You should use some lip balm. You know, it’s getting cold out and you don’t want your lips cracking or anything. That would be painful.” Rin sat on the ground, looking up at a worried Nitori.
“Are you okay, senpai?” Nitori had a smile on his face, a laugh in his throat. “I have some lip balm, I just forgot to put some on today after the shower because you were complaining about how slow I was going!”
“Right! Uh, yeah, I’m fine… Actually, now that you’re up… do you want to go get something to drink? I’m really thirsty all of a sudden.” Rin scrambled up, trying to play off the blush on his face as heat by fanning himself. He thanked his stars that Nitori didn’t mention it.
“Sure, senpai,” Nitori answered, eyeing him suspiciously. “You sure you’re okay?” The silver-haired teen stood, looking up at him. “You look a little warm.”
“That’s why I said we should get something to drink! To cool off!” Rin made his way to the door, walking mechanically. <i>Oh god, my walk is so off, he can probably tell. Left, right, left, right, left right…oh god, Rin, keep your cool!</i>
“Okay, okay, I’m coming!” Nitori laughed, pulling on a hoodie. “Wear a jacket, you!” Rin dodged a piece of clothing thrown at him.
“Right, of course,” Rin slipped on the jacket Nitori had given him.
They made their way down, fingers brushing against each other, neither of them willing to make the first move now that they were in public. There was an electric current running between them, the atmosphere suffocating and oppressive. The short walk to the vending machine – normally about five minutes – stretched into infinity, legs moving slower than usual, pounding hearts echoing loudly enough to be heard in the empty hallway, amplified by the tension.
When they finally made it, Rin let out a sigh of relief.
“What’s wrong?” Nitori looked at him, his hand curling around Rin’s middle finger. He was always astute.
“Ah, nothing!” Rin blushed, pulling Nitori with him to the machine. “Your usual?”
Nitori made a sound of approval, fingers curling around Rin’s hand, pulling himself closer to Rin. Briefly, Rin wondered if Ai could hear his heart pounding or feel his pulse racing. He felt clumsy as he slipped his coins into the slot, as he slid his fingers across the smooth surfaces of the buttons, as he pressed down on the option for Ai’s drink.
The silence was broken by the clunk of the drink dropping down. They stood there, waiting for the other to break the silence. It was Ai that did it.
He bent down to pick up his drink, letting go of Rin. Rin felt cold air rush into the space where Ai was previously, thinking of how nerve-wracking this whole thing was. Ai was finally his boyfriend; he should be able to kiss him if he wanted to!
“Ai…” Rin turned to find Ai already staring at him. He took a step back to put some distance between them, but Ai followed him.
“Senpai,” Ai murmured, leaning up. “C-Can… Can I kiss you?”
Rin blushed, but nodded. He held his breath as Ai reached up, grabbing Rin’s neck and pulling him closer. They stared at each other, only a breath away from each other. It was Ai who finally made the first move; he pressed his lips against Rin’s, their mouths melding together. Rin smiled into the kiss, feeling found by Ai. He was a little embarrassed that he couldn’t make the first move, but that didn’t really matter to him.
Querencia – (n) a place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self
He glanced up, eyes scanning the audience before snapping his goggles into place. It was his first tournament after the whole situation with the Iwatobi team was fixed. Although Rin knew he could do well, he was nervous because of the memories of the last time he raced; the only difference this time was that he was doing butterfly, his best stroke.
Flashes of his defeat ran through his mind; the unshakable feeling of embarrassment, of shame, of weakness drowning out the chants and cheers from the crowd. He took a deep breath and stepped up with the other swimmers.
Taking one last look at the crowd, his eyes caught what he was searching for. A flash of silver told him he had found Nitori. Rin stared for the half second that he could; his roommate was cheering, shouting into a megaphone with “Samezuka” printed on the side.
Rin wasn’t nervous anymore. He was calm, ready.
Although, he couldn’t make out Nitori’s words because of the noise from the crowd, he could guess what he was shouting.
“Go, senpai, go!” Rin heard the whistle to get into position. “You can do it, senpai!” He braced himself, taking a deep breath. “I believe in you, senpai!” And he dived.
**
After the race, after the tournament, after the celebration, after his Iwatobi friends had gone, Rin found himself in a dark, crowded room with a silver-haired boy.
“You were really amazing today, senpai! I knew you would be amazing, but I can’t say I wasn’t impressed! You even beat your own record! Captain was praising you, but, of course, he wouldn’t say that right to your face!” Nitori was chattering away. Rin was still in his street clothes while Nitori was changing into his pajamas. “I was close to getting into nationals, but I’m just glad I made it to regionals this year. Maybe next year I’ll be at nationals, ‘though that is a long shot.”
“Ai…” Rin was sitting on his bed, staring at his feet.
The other teen stopped, standing absolutely still at the sound of his first name. “Senpai?” He hadn’t turned around to look at Rin, hands stopped on the top button of his shirt.
“I was… scared, today.” The words were strained, dragging themselves out of Rin’s throat.
“Senpai,” Nitori breathed out, turning slowly, as if he didn’t want to scare Rin off.
“But I looked for you, like you said I should. I looked for you and I found the strength I needed. I-“ Rin cut himself off, gripping the bed sheets. It was easier now to be open about his feelings, but sometimes it took a lot out of him.
“Rin-senpai, thank you!” Nitori rushed forward, falling to his knees in front of Rin. “I’ll always be here for you, cheering you on, you know that! I’m glad you know that! Oh, Rin-senpai!” Nitori took Rin’s hands in his own, pressing soft kisses against his skin.
“Ai,” Rin blushed, feeling tears well up in his eyes. “Ai, look at me.”
The silver-haired teen did so, his wide smile disappearing when he looked at Rin. “D-Don’t cry! Rin-senpai, please don’t cry!” He reached up, letting go of Rin’s hands, and grabbed Rin’s face, cupping it in his hands.
Rin shook his head, tears silently falling to the corners of his upturned lips. “I’m so… Thank you, Ai. Thank you for everything.” Rin slid his hands up Nitori’s arms and shoulders, placing them on his neck. “You have no idea what you’ve done for me.”
“Rin…senpai,” Nitori was speechless. He smiled, pulling Rin closer to him. Rin, for once, didn’t resist; instead, he pulled Nitori closer.
He rested his forehead against Nitori’s own. They stayed that way for a while, staring at the other. Rin felt safe here, like he was finally home - in this crowded, dark, too-warm room at Samezuka, miles away from his birthplace. Being touched by Nitori, being looked at by Nitori, being close to Nitori was comforting, was freeing. He could be himself and not be scared of rejection.
Nitori – No, Ai – had accepted him through all the crap of the past two years. Rin was more grateful that he could ever say. He hadn’t even known that this is what he needed until he found it. Until he found Nitori Aiichirou. It had taken him quite some time to finally admit it, to finally find a place he could call home, to finally accept the feelings of the person in front of him – but that didn’t matter now.
Ai’s mouth was set in a frown, contrasting with the happy Christmas sweater that was decorated with a large Rudolph whose red nose glowed. “Whatever. If you care so much about what they think, why don’t you just spend Christmas with them instead.”
Honestly, he was more than a little happy to be back. When he first arrived, Ai had greeted him at the airport – and by greeted, Ai had jumped up and clung to Rin’s shoulders for about ten minutes, until Sousuke and Makoto managed to pry him off.
“I just missed you so much,” Ai sniffled, rubbing his face into Rin’s neck at the Haru and Makoto’s party.
“I know, I missed you, too,” Rin would reply, rubbing small circles into Ai’s back. “But let me go to the bathroom, okay?”
Ai nodded, kissing Rin’s neck, his chin, his cheek, his nose, and his lips before finally releasing him. “Hurry back.”
Rin laughed and patted Ai’s soft grey hair before walking away. Makoto smiled at him as he made his way to the bathroom, having to shoulder through the loud and karaoking pair made up of Nagisa and Momo. It was warm and crowded in the way-too-small living room of the Nanases, but it only made the atmosphere cozier.
In the mirror, Rin washed his face to cool down his flaming cheeks. It was winter break and he was allowed back over to Japan. The first thing he wanted to see was, of course, Ai. The two had already gone over to his visit his Mom and Kou and were now celebrating with friends. Tomorrow they would head to Ai’s home to see his family as well, something that always made Rin nervous but, for now, he would push it out of his mind.
“Okay, don’t embarrass yourself before that,” he said to himself before turning away to exit.
“Surprise!” Ai jumped at him, kissing him squarely on the mouth.
“What!?” Rin yelled, before following Ai’s finger upwards. There was mistletoe hanging above their heads.
“One more,” Ai said, grabbing Rin’s face and pressing his lips against Rin’s again.
“Ai, you’re being a little clingy,” Rin grunted out, pushing Ai’s face away. “Not that I don’t appreciate all of the kisses, it’s getting a little embarrassing, especially when you’re just throwing yourself at me in front of everyone.”
“What?” Ai looked at Rin, eyes filled with hurt and confusion. “I’m not…throwing myself at you?”
“Um, you kind of were,” Rin replied, rubbing the back of his head. He really didn’t mind, but it was usually Ai who was against PDA, so it was weird for him to be so affectionate. “And in front of all our friends.”
“Oh, I’m sorry for embarrassing you in front of all your friends,” Ai snapped, turning around. “Whatever, I think I’ll just go home.”
“Ai, wait.” He reached out, but Ai pulled away.
“No, you wait, Rin. I’ve been waiting for you to come home for how many months now? And when you do, I can’t even show you how much I’ve missed you without being ‘embarrassing’? Do you really think any of them care?”
“No, but Haru-“
“Oh, ‘Haru this’ and ‘Haru that’, I’m so fucking sick of hearing about him! Every time you Skype or call me it’s always about him and you, taking on the whole world together! You really think I want to hear about that, Rin? Hm?” Ai’s mouth was set in a frown, contrasting with his happy Christmas sweater decorated with a large Rudolph whose red nose glowed. “Whatever. If you care so much about what they think, why don’t you just spend Christmas with them instead.”
“Ai, that’s not what I meant. Ai, wait! Ai!”
Rin followed Ai as he made his way to the living room, where the group had obviously heard their argument. “I’m going home. I’ll call a cab. Thank you for inviting me and I hope you all have a good night and Merry Christmas,” he announced, snatching his jacket and scarf before pushing past Rin.
“Come on, don’t be this way,” Rin called out, running a hand through his hair.
“You’re fucking stupid,” Sousuke said, sipping his cider.
“Well, go after him!” Makoto suggested, already holding out Rin’s coat.
“He doesn’t seem like he wants to talk to me.”
“Like you let that stop you before,” Haru said, standing and making his way to where Rin stood. “Here.” He held something out in his hand. “Now go.”
Rin nodded and snatched the object from Haru. “Okay, guys. Um… I may be back. Who knows.”
“It’s okay, just go!” Makoto stood next to Haru and held out his coat. “Merry Christmas, Rin.”
“Merry Christmas, guys,” he replied, slipping his coat on.
Nagisa and Momo cheered and returned to their songs, with Sousuke and Rei clapping along. Makoto and Haru were the only ones who paid Rin any attention as he shoved his shoes on and ran out the door. “Do you think they’ll be okay?” Makoto asked, wrapping his fingers around Haru’s hand.
“They’ll be fine,” Haru said, before pulling Makoto closer. “Look up.” There was mistletoe. “It’s tradition.”
As they kissed under the doorway, Rin was running into the dark night, hoping he was going in the right direction. “Ai! Ai!” He could see his breath coming out in puffs, his legs, lungs, and eyes burning.
Then he saw him – or at least his silhouette, stopped at the end of the road, staring up. The night was clear but cold; At least it wasn’t snowing, Rin told himself. “Ai!” He shouted, running up to him. “Please, Ai.”
“Rin,” Ai said quietly, looking over at Rin before turning his head back up. “The moon just reminded me of… Never mind.” He stopped himself, not wanting to embarrass himself or Rin any further. Besides, how could he say the words out loud? That the moon reminded him of the first night Rin held him? No. That was even more embarrassing than earlier. He opted to just ask him the question that was burning on his tongue instead. “Why’d you follow me?”
“I’m sorry,” Rin said, the words dragging themselves from his mouth. “I just… I can’t handle being away from you for so long and then you… You’re so perfect and you’re way too good for me and seeing you just reminded me of all those… Nights and mornings, and I’m sorry. I really am sorry. I love you, Ai. This is definitely not how I saw tonight going. I was embarrassed because of how affected I was by all these feelings but I never should have taken that out on you. I’m sorry.”
Ai exhaled, his breath coming out like a cloud slowly rising. Silence descended upon them again, wrapping itself around the pair. Then, like nothing happened earlier, laughter tinkled out of Ai’s mouth – awkward at first, but building.
“We’re idiots,” Ai said, wrapping his arms around Rin’s waist. “You more so than I.”
Rin nodded, smiling down. “I can agree to that.”
“Good,” he laughed again, staring up into Rin’s eyes.
“Hey,” Rin pulled something out of his pocket, lifting his arm above them. “Now you gotta kiss me.”
Rolling his eyes, Ai leaned up and pressed his lips softly against Rin’s. “Happy?”
“Mm, one more,” Rin whispered, kissing Ai deeper. Ai laughed against his mouth, their breaths mingling together and disappearing into the night.
“We should go back to the party,” Ai finally said, face flushed and lips somewhat swollen.
“Yeah, I guess.” He kept his arm around Ai, pulling him to walk together towards Haru’s place.
“Where did you get the mistletoe?”
Rin looked up at the sky and smiled, “Someone thought it’d make you happy.”
“Would that someone happen to be named Haru?” Ai laughed, squeezing Rin’s arm.
“Will you yell at me again if I said it was?”
“No, of course not. I’m sorry about that, by the way. I just…” He sighed, looking away. “It does always feel like he’s the only one you ever talk about. I guess I’m just a little jealous.”
“Hey, hey, I like that you’re jealous. It’s okay,” Rin said, kissing the top of his head. “Just tell me, though, when you feel that way. Don’t let it build up so much. And, honestly, whenever Nagisa sends me pictures of you two together I feel just as jealous.”
“Really? I would never think so,” Ai looked up at him in surprise. “You should show some of that jealousy to me sometimes, I think I’d like to see it.”
“Only if you’re more honest with me.”
Ai nodded, and then stopped walking. “What’s wrong?” Rin looked at him, worry filling his head. Had he done something wrong, again? Was that asking for too much?
“Your present!” Ai slipped something out of his pocket and held it up. “I was going to give it to you tomorrow, but why not now?”
“Ai, you didn’t have to… I didn’t bring anything with me. I left it in my bag,” Rin said, awkward.
“I wanted to, it’s okay,” he smiled, pressing the small, wrapped box into Rin’s hand. “Open it!”
Nodding, Rin slid his fingers under the tape that held the gift together. It came undone neatly, Ai’s wrapping skills evident. The paper slipped off the box smoothly, revealing a plain jewelry box. Rin felt nervous all of a sudden and glanced at Ai’s expectant face.
“Go on,” he urged.
Rin took a breath as he opened the box; There was a small ring nestled in the satin, bright blue like… “It’s like the colour of your eyes.”
“I know it’s a ring, but it’s on a necklace chain so you can wear it over your heart. I got one for myself, too – it’s red!” Ai pulled out a ring from under his shirt, showing it off. Rin had to admit, the colour did look similar to his own eyes.
“Ai, it’s perfect. Thank you. Here, help me put it on,” Rin said, turning around and holding out the box.
Ai jumped at the chance, gently slipping the chain around Rin’s neck, his fingers grazing against the soft skin. Rin could feel himself get warm under his touch, under his skillful fingers as they locked the clasp. The weight of the cool ring against his chest made him feel anchored, secure.
“I’m so happy you like it!” Ai grinned, reaching up to kiss Rin’s chin. “Come on, let’s go back.”
Rin couldn’t keep his hands off the ring, playing with it as his other hand wrapped around Ai’s. They made their way back to Haru’s place, Ai humming under his breath, but otherwise in silence. The previous tension had vanished, like a breath of air disappearing into the sky.
“I don’t know why you even follow me around!” Rin shouted, kicking the frame of their bed. Nitori looked away, holding his arms close to him. “I’m not good enough for you, Nitori!”
The other teen shook his head and took a shaky breath. “You’re… special, Rin-senpai.”
“Oh, yeah?” Rin stepped closer to his roommate, glowering down at him. “Because I can fucking swim? Anyone can swim, Nitori. You should follow someone who is nicer to you. Follow someone who actually gives a shit about you.”
“Senpai?” Blue eyes filled with tears, clouding over like a sudden storm in the summer.
Swallowing, Rin stepped closer, hoping to put more malice in his voice. He didn’t want to hurt his kouhai, but he had to make him see… “I’m not a good guy, Nitori.”
“You’re a liar,” the other said, almost immediately.
“I know.”
“No, you’re a liar because you are a good guy, senpai. You’ve taught me so much!” Nitori took a step towards Rin, holding out a hand – reaching for him. “You taught me how much I can achieve if I just keep trying. You taught me how to work hard because no one else is going to do it for me. You taught me that dreams can come true, but you’ve gotta make them happen. Rin-senpai… You taught me to believe in myself.”
Rin blushed and looked away. “Ai…”
“Senpai.” Nitori placed his hand on Rin’s cheek, guiding his face back towards him. “Thank you for everything.”
They stared at each other. Rin couldn’t believe this. Even after all the times he had stormed out, all the times he had yelled at the younger teen to stop following him around, all the times he ignored him – Nitori didn’t give up on him. It was wonderful being so well thought of, especially by one whose mind was so pure, so beautiful.
“I was right,” he breathed out, defeated. “You are too good for me.” Rin leaned down, pressing his forehead against Nitori’s. “Much too good for me.”
Minutes passed, red eyes looking deep into blue eyes; two minds connecting and understanding; two souls interacting and intertwining. Rin realized then: He was in love. He wasn’t going to say it now, but that didn’t matter.
He was just happy to have someone like Nitori by his side.
