I don't quite know but okay

[crisdavis]

you are a kind person with a kind soul. the world has brought you suffering and many have hurt you but do not lose hope. what has been done wrong to you does not mean you are less of a person but more so that you are more of a person--you are strong. you are brave. you have been through hell and yet you still carry on. keep carrying on. do not lose hope. hold on just a little longer because the sun will shine upon you graciously. much love, a friend.

I wish I knew who you are.Thank you for your kindness towards me.I don’t feel brave... nor a good, or noble person...I appreciate you, friend, and though what I say, your words make me feel better.Love to you as well, and I hope you come off anon so we can talk and become even better friends. Take care a lot.

[crisdavis]

I miss your being, I don’t want to message you because I don’t want to give more trouble, but I just feel I wish I could message you to tell you I miss your being. I miss your beautiful being.

[crisdavis]

Relationship dream: Girlfriend (or cute boyfriend): -Let’s play a videogame together. *we spent an all afternoon playing a Super Nintendo rol playing game*

[crisdavis]

Mimi

[crisdavis]

Erase you from my memory I wish I could erase you from my memory I can’t stop living on the harm you’ve done to me And this is what OCD does to me I wish I could sleep tonight Without all the pain in my mind I cared about you with my heart And gave you everything I am Still you throw it and spill it over And spurn it like I’m worth nothing And you don’t know how you hurt me tonight And all the time I wish I could erase you from my mind

[crisdavis]

I want to die

[crisdavis]

The importance of sex

After masturbating, watching porn, then getting really affected by the sadness of your 25 years old life being a virgin, on the verge of starting to cry as you continue with your daily chores, like eating, nourish yourself. Is something no one will ever understand how it’s like except us who suffer of it. The importance of a kiss, a caress, people who take it for granted, people who treat their lovers badly, will never understand. People who may laugh or get weird about the mentioning of masturbating watching porn, don’t know the pain inside it is the nonexistence of a sexual life after your youth of wanting it.

[crisdavis]

[crisdavis]

[crisdavis]

I’m a monster to be honest

[crisdavis]

[crisdavis]

“If you want to evade battles, avoid looking at other trainers in the eyes.“

[crisdavis]

[crisdavis]

My free day of work is tomorrow and I already feel it’s going away. : /

[crisdavis]

In the background looking at nothing, smiling slightly. This picture was taken during one of my hardest times mentally, in 2012. Even so, on those days I would manage to get my own moments of happiness in ideas and fantasies I had about the future. I even remember the precise moment and more or less what I was thinking about when the photo was taken, without me noticing. I was much more ‘away from reality‘ than I am now, and almost couldn’t talk literally, and I was full of quotidian serious problems with ocd, and even so I would succeed to reach some agreeable moments much more often than I ever do these days. My personality was much less negative, and I very much miss that and am in need of it very much. When I remember those days and my habits, my problems, my mind enduring and working in the infernal structures of ocd, my darkest moments and the clearest ones inside the darkness, my tissues, my small room of three walls in a nook in my mother’s house, which was one of the last inhabitable places free enough of my phobic obsessions related to objects... my ideas for the future, my old blog and my habits of writing that followed in 2013, my videogames... I’m invaded by feelings of much nostalgia that I even can feel pressing my chest.

[crisdavis]

I‘ll always be seeking for someone I don’t know to develop feelings towards me, and their inability to do just that will always rip my heart.

[crisdavis]

I can’t have what I need, and I can’t even look for it, and it doesn’t come.