To be left on the roadside, abandoned in some ditch, sadly this was something that had a feel of normalcy to it to the young girl. How many nights after his death had she woken up on the side of the road, wondering how she got there? Too many countless nights wasted away, flying high in the sky, only to come down with the kind of force that would shake her world in its entirety. In this moment none of that mattered, all that did was going through all the lengths, pulling out all the stops, all to make sure that she never came down. Reality was harsh, reality was cruel; why would she ever want to come down when this intoxicated world that she was now living in was so beautiful? She felt like she could take on the world; that she could face all the challenges that she was met with. It was as if there was nothing that could stop her, no one that could stand in her way. They would all watch with bated breath as she crashed and burned, waiting for that moment where she hit the ground so hard she couldn’t get up. It seemed almost cruel that this world had allowed her to do this to herself; to allow all the blame to be placed on her shoulders, all fingers pointing in her direction. She had been the one who gave the final push, allowing him to spill over the edge, but she hadn’t been his only friend, the only person considered to be family. They should have seen the signs, they should have seen that he was losing his will to live, the same way that Crisis was now. Going on living was becoming too much of a chore, too difficult to find the light at the end of the tunnel, a battle that would never be won. If only she could go back to that night, the one that he stood alone in his room, a bottle of pills in hand. She would shake him until he could see just how sorry she was, till he could see how much she needed him, but she hadn’t been there; she had been off somewhere drinking herself into oblivion, being the selfish girl that she was. If only she could turn back time; then she could undo what had been done, she could take back spiteful words, and she could make him see that life was worth living. She wanted to give her head a shake at this thought, how could she make him see something that she had such a difficult time believing in? Two damaged people never should have been brought together, what they were to each other must have been some kind of sick joke to the God who watched over all. If there really was a God out there, he deserved a bullet to the head. How was it that he had the power to take people from this world, people who barely got a chance at life? She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs, to rake her nails down her flesh, but here she would stand, highly intoxicated, swaying back and forth in the wind, wishing she could be anywhere other than here. There were too many memories linked to this town, too many memories that she wasn’t ready to face. She could still see the pair of them walking hand in hand down this very same street, laughing and talking as if everything was right with the world. It had all been so fake, forced laughed, plastic smiles, maybe none of it had never been real. The only aspect she knew to be real was the emotions that ran deep for that boy, emotions that no sixteen year old girl was ready to face. Her mother told her that she had never loved him, that her mind had only tricked her into believing so. She remembered how many vile words backed with venom she had spit out at her mother for saying such a thing. Her mother talked like she knew what love was, but if she revaluated her life, could she honestly say she was willing to die for her father? If Crisis had the opportunity, she would have taken all of Andrew’s pain upon herself. He had been one of pure of heart, he hadn’t deserved the cards he had been dealt, Crisis on the other hand; all of her anguish was self-deserving. Not wanting to think about it, she went about playing with Grayson’s fingers, each one feeling as if they weren’t really there. She knew she would be cursing at herself when she came crashing down from her high, but for now all she could do was enjoy it. Pulling away from him, she hummed to herself, his question bouncing about her skull. If she went home like this again, her parents would be forced to take her fate into their own hands. Too many nights had she come home out of her mind, only to crash to the floor, not moving despite her mother kicking her in the ribs. They said they were concerned for her health and safety, but Crisis knew the only thing they were fearful of was being presented as bad parents. “I do have somewhere to be actually,” Crisis spun on her heels to face the boy, her arms spread out wide, as if she was preparing herself to fall to the ground to make snow angels. “I have an idea,” She exclaimed, as she clapped her hands together. “You should come with me,” She had no intentions of going home, what she had intentions for were reaching that point where she felt so good it was like walking on glass.
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