Bipolar Sunshine @crispypotato13 - Tumblr Blog

❌

Until today, I still love you with all my heart. I have to let you go now. I can’t pretend to be “just friends”. I’m sorry if this will hurt you but darling, just know that you left me and this is me doing things for me. I hope you find happiness in the new chapter of your life. Sadly, my time with you was too short. I love you too much I forgot who i once was. Thank you for showing me I deserve better.

How can someone belittle their partner? I have never felt so small in my life. I have the biggest heart in the world. I guess that’s why it hurts more. Maybe i should just forget about us and leave. The pain you put me through is harder and harder to deal with. I will never be good enough for you am i? You want someone who pleases you all the time and I’m sorry but I cannot put myself in that situation. Nights like this are so long. I’m thinking about all the things i have done for you and it’s still not good enough. Tell me, what do you want from me? What more can i give? I feel like i’m at the end of my road. I have accepted that i will never be good enough for you. Not now not ever. You deserve more and I’m sorry I cannot fullfill your needs and wants. Let me just go to waste where all the unwanted lovers go.

softgrlfriend

If there ever comes a day where you feel like taking all your words back, know that I loved you beyond reason with my whole entire being. I loved you, I love you, I will love you.

9/3/2016

#aaz

I’m tired of doing my best and my best is still not good enough. The urge to hurt something or hurt myself is deeply in my thoughts. I have failed at everything and as much as I love to think that I have myself under control, I don’t. I have failed in school, in work and also in all of my relationships. Maybe it is time for me to close my eyes forever and never wake up. It gets harder to breathe lately with everything going on. I’m trying to piece myself back together but everyday I am just pulling the pieces out again. I cannot take this aching anymore. I want to runaway and never come back. I’m such a worthless person. I have done everything so perfectly in my life that I cannot be imperfect. I wish there was away to see my life after I am gone. I just want to see if living is worth it if it hurts. I feel like I have bruises in my heart so I just keep quiet. Every decision I make is hurting someone. Every mistake I make is hurting someone. I tell myself I can push through and be better. I do not think that will happen anytime soon. I am not getting better. My anxiety pills are almost gone and I have nothing to rely on. I hope the day that I leave earth forever is the day the ones that I loved the most remembers me as someone who is always cheerful, caring and lovable. May everyone find love and closure after I’m gone.

Love,

Elyssa Nadhirah

(8.11.18)

What I've learned;

It's okay to love someone so deeply but not be compatible with them.

#aaz #ai #keepsweet #personal

memoriesrecollected

do not tell her you love her if you are not ready for her to call you at 3 AM freaking out. do not tell her you love her if you cannot handle her father or mother. do not tell her you love her if you cannot love her at her worse. do not tell her you love her if you only crave for her curves, not her mind. do not tell her you love her if you cannot deal with her mood swings. do not tell her you love her just to have sex.

do not tell her you love her. Krystal Gonzalez (via memoriesrecollected)

#aaz