Ardzh Tursynkan

Hi, I'm Ardzh, and this is what I do sometimes, in between of studies and usual job

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Well, I've spent over 15 hrs on that

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Fighting with your hearts always means getting scars

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It's win or die, bro

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Lately I've been scetching rather than hurting myself

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Wanna have this mode

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Hunt for seraphims

Death is the grand leveller

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I think I'm doing okay, considering the breaks I've had...It's been eight years since I stopped calling myself an artist, because I lost my eyesight and learned to draw almost blindly. Now I think and think, and I come to the conclusion that it was an absolute bad injustice to myself, and that I voluntarily cut myself out of this community\casts/whatever for nothing. Because of my lack of vision and the loss of almost all of my skills after surgery to remove a vascular tumor, and because of the widespread caustic comments in the worst community I was a member of at the time, I got the hang of it. Now I realize that it was out of place, and even though the doctors once said that I will never be a normal person haunts me in many aspects of life, and is a sad truth, now I come to a different conclusion. I'm not great, not particularly sought after, drawing mostly on the table..... But I'm kind of an artist. Because I just like it. That's the insight.

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Anhedonia feels kinda like this. You collect memories, you try to collect emotions too, but everything is so bleak that you feel like a pocket with a hole in it, through which everything just goes f_cking away

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Does anyone know a girl who really NEVER thought of her body, being concerned about her weight or proportions???

Eating disorder became a socially appreciated norm, which mainly is hidden under the words about healthy lifestyle, self-care, etc.

I do not claim that body-positive is the option, since most of the activists are just stepping on the other side of the spectrum, and I don't believe that the situation can even be changed.

It's just me, being scared, because after 5 years of bulimia and partial recovery I had NO day-offs where I didn't think about calories.

I used to weight over 80 kilos after brain stroke and coma, and these days still echoe in me. Though endless weight loss is as pointless as non-stop phisical trainings i can do nothing but stress about little things, such as extra oil in food, sugar levels and so on.

There won't be any conclusion, since i am just... Talking. Ro nobody - bc i know that most of people would not even read it. Whatever...

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Being silent is still a crime

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Luka Magnotta, a Canadian killer, shocked the world with a gruesome crime in 2012. Known for his disturbing online presence, he filmed the murder and dismemberment of his victim, mailing body parts across the country His case highlighted the dark side of the internet and sparked widespread horror and fascination. Magnotta's capture in Berlin ended an international manhunt, forever marking him as a symbol of cruelty and sensationalism in the digital age. His " surprises" were discovered also in backpacks and bags.

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