Cristela Alonzo

Activities Director at Shady Pines / Comedian.

[cristela9]

I totally made this #DallasCowboys sweater. I freaking love it. Next up is an #LAClippers sweater to wear to the games. #craftylikemybeer

[cristela9]

That Colonial Juarez is where my grandma lived in Reynosa. We used to visit her on Mondays (my mom's day off from work). The pesera used to be what we called vans that would pick people up. We'd go inside the van, grab a milk crate to sit on and we would go on our way. Pemex or Charco meant what route you wanted to go. Pemex meant you'd get on that one if you wanted to go through the refineries/maquiladoras. #lessoninReynosaTamaulipasLife

[cristela9]

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And this was the last time Brian asked his wife Elaine about her day...#shetoohappy

[cristela9]

Don't forget. Que no se te olvide.

[cristela9]

OK Facebook! Thank you for reminding me of this memory from TWO years ago today! Seems like so long ago! #Cristela

[cristela9]

Daily reminder...

[cristela9]

Hola. Y ahora, el desayuno. Notice no fork. You scoop the egg/bologna with the tortillas. It's federal law.

[cristela9]

Part of the special when I remind people of my show #Cristela. They cheered so much, I got overwhelmed. They kept yelling over and over to bring it back. I'm keeping that in the special. Haha.

[cristela9]

Editing. Watch for it in 2017.

[cristela9]

Just not enough room.

[cristela9]

Hey baby, que paso? Thought I was your only gato... #chologato

[cristela9]

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This is the funniest commercial I've seen in a long time.

[cristela9]

Boo says, "Let's go!" Also, his name is embroidered on the back of his jersey. #Cowboys #🏈

[cristela9]

Did my makeup again today! Let's see how today goes...

[cristela9]

She would say stuff like this ALL the time. #Ama #Natalia

[cristela9]

And I have no problem with that.

[cristela9]

I'm tired but I don't think enough people saw the makeup I did so here it is. Now I'll wash it off. #Tupac