My Loves

Find some of the things, people, and ideas I love here; they move me to the point that I have to write and post about it. From BTS to TXT to K Dramas and  tv shows, all you will find here. I love.

[crixcyy]

2024 Prayer

I pray that 2024 will be a year of peace, where all our lives are valued because we all deserve the privilege of living without fear for our lives.

For those of us who have lost our loved ones, I pray that we receive the support we need while we grieve. May we find an abundance of warm memories that reminds us of the love we hold for those we have lost, even as the ever present pain of grief overwhelms us. I hope that we can all find solace in ourselves and those around us this year.

All our wishes, I pray, will come to fruition this year as we continue through another year of our lives. I pray with all my heart that we take enough moments to appreciate all the good in our lives because they are worth the gratitude.

The year 2024 is one I pray will provide us with love and kindness for ourselves and others. I hope we will always go forth with love foremost in all our intentions because we will inevitably receive an abundance of love in return.

Happy New Year

Here's to 2024 and all the best from it with our prayers.

[crixcyy]

Prayer for 2023

Though we are at the end of January, I pray that we have started the year on a positive note. I hope we are content with wherever we are in our lives and if not, I pray that we are heading towards satisfaction in our lives, with ourselves and with those around us. May this new year bring us an abundance of love and warmth and joy because we deserve it. I pray that we are kind, patient and understanding with ourselves and others because it is only natural to share with others what is within ourselves.

For all our strength in entering this new year, I pray that we can appreciate all that we have and those around us. As we go through this year, I pray that we can be well and that we continue looking forward always to the better opportunities that are waiting for us.

With 2023, I pray that we are happier than we were the previous year, and may this tradition continue on. For love that is so free, I pray sincerely, that we all give and receive just as freely so our 2023 will always be filled with love.

[crixcyy]

Prayer for 2022

I pray that we have all ended 2021 positively despite all that we may have seen and been through this year.

I hope we can enter the new year ready for all 2022 has for us. May we continue to be courageous and kind and loving to one another and to ourselves.

For those of us that are struggling or are unhappy, I pray that the new year provides you with all that you wish for and more. May you have a year filled with love and warmth.

I pray that those of us who are ill can recover quickly to a new year that will offer wellness so that we can be the best version of ourselves.

Though we don’t know what the new year will bring, I pray that we can look forward to all the positive experiences and opportunities that await us.

I pray that we can be better to one another and rely on each other more. And I pray that we can be forgiving to ourselves as well as to each other.

For this new year, I hope that we can offer and receive love abundantly. I pray that we allow love for ourselves too because it is what we most deserve.

Happy New Year to us all for we are already better today than before.

[crixcyy]

A Prayer for 2021

With this new year, I pray for our health both physical and mental so that we will be able to meet each other wholeheartedly and without masks.

I pray that 2021 surpasses 2020 in all areas as new years should do with previous ones. Through this, I hope we can all look forward to the new year and the better days it promises to bring. 

For those who are ill and those who have lost others or have been separated from each other this year, I pray that we can find solace in the new year.

May love be profound in all that we do each day so that we can all be filled and as such, can enrich one another.

And finally, I pray that we are lovely to ourselves and continue to do so in the new year because we deserve it especially after the pandemic ridden year we’ve had. May we remember that we are all precious first and foremost as that is what matters always.

Happy New Year to a better world and to us who are lovely through and through. 😊

[crixcyy]

BTS Map of the Soul ON:E Thoughts...

The concert ended some minutes ago and I’ve been through an array of emotions. All of this is to say I’m happy now because of this wonderful concert BTS prepared for us. 

The stages were so exciting and they were never before seen as well which only intensified the thrill of the show. I’m not even sure where to begin because I don’t want to leave anything out so I’ll just say, all the songs that I like were fantastic stages while some of the songs that I’m usually iffy about, were impressive performances. My eyes were glued to the screen, enchanted by the performance and the artists that stood on that stage. 

Oh and I absolutely loved the ‘Zero o Clock’ stage, it was even better than I could imagine; there was a choreography. It felt like my hunger could be satiated by that stage yet excite my thirst for more of it, that I’ll say. And their comments at the end really touched me, they all mentioned COVID 19 and the challenges it has caused them. 

I feel as though I have taken our BTS for granted a bit with this realisation about how much they cherish our physical face to face interaction. Of course I knew that they were disappointed and that this proved extremely difficult for them to cope as artists who thrive on performing in front of their Army. But I wasn’t aware that it was a constant thought they had as they prepared, as they went on with their daily live and how crushing it must have been when the situation did not ease off and does not look like it will any time soon. In truth, I was mainly thinking about myself and how I felt in relation to them. It does make me feel grateful somehow that they are moving forward despite the restrictions of this pandemic. To see them trying and showing us their hearts over and over touches me keenly. To say I am proud would be an understatement. 

My heart mourns for the loss of connection between us but rebounds with elation that we can still connect in other ways and we can feel each other through music and our interest in each other. I am in love with the members of BTS. There is so much I have experienced as a fan that I never thought I was capable of and here I am again loving them more and feeling with them in their disappointment as much as I can and feeling more love. Today’s performances and comments have really filled me, I am joyful and aware of the negative feelings that arise in this pandemic situation. Yet, we have each other and I am pleased that we know this.

[prettierodds]

via @timothygoodman on instagram

[crixcyy]

Awaiting TXT’s Comeback

So, I wanted to talk about TXT’s new comeback. It’s so exciting. I have to say the days leading up to their comeback are always so pleasant for me because their music and album are promoted so well. I still remember their debut teasers and I knew I would love them and their music. And the same thing is happening now. I just love what BigHit is doing with the concept trailer and I especially love the teasers they put out with each member and a snippet of their title song. 

I love how they show the song’s development with each new teaser. And I just know I’ll love ‘Can’t You See Me?’ which is their title song. I must say I always love their title songs and especially the teasers. Goodness knows how many times I watched and listened to the teaser for Run Away and Crown. I think they really polish their title songs well, they sound very pop and are pleasant to the ears, oh I’m so in love. 

And hearing the teasers so far, I really want to hear the title song. It was stuck in my head and I kept trying to go listen to it but then realised it hasn’t been released; I’m deceiving myself because it sounds so good. Until May 18, I’ll be listening to the teasers in anticipation of the full version of the title song. I just know I will love it. And I’ll love them even more.

[crixcyy]

Thoughts during lockdown

This is just something I thought about one day while practicing social distancing at home. For me, I usually randomly think this way and write my thoughts down and I liked this one when I wrote it so I’m posting it here:

Because I’ve been thinking about Emily Dickinson recently after watching some episodes from the show ‘Dickinson’, I felt a strong urge to go read and look over some of her poems which I have encountered before. I remember being struck by all the dashes and also the content. I couldn’t forget one of her poems because it was about death and there was a ‘bee’ in one of them that I read and it stuck me as a strange combination. So this evening I pulled out my Norton anthology to look over them and some of the poems that appear in the show were there. I’ve been ruminating over one of them this evening. The first two lines go:

Because I could not stop for death - 

He kindly stopped for me - 

And these two lines were stuck in my head for a while this evening. Especially the part about death; the word ‘kindly’ seems unfitting here as a description of death’s role. To me ‘kindly’ portrays death as having this ‘warmth’ that I just cannot reconcile with death. 

Of course, death can be kind in certain situations and in all we need death to end this pleasant existence of ours which would become dreadful without death, so in that sense of course death can be kind. 

But the idea that death itself is intentionally kind is difficult for me to come to terms with and this intrigues me because of course I don’t know much about death and until then I can only make assumptions as to what death can be and its intentions. 

For me, it seems that death could not ‘kindly’ stop for one because it’s death’s duty to stop anyway and that’s the fact of the matter. So, death will stop for one regardless which nullifies the ‘kindly’ in that line because it was going to stop anyway. What has ‘kindly’ got to do with it? This is just something I’ve had a jolly time thinking about this evening and even now I am amused by it. That death in Dickinson’s poem of course has a personality and is romanticised is of course clear but I find it interesting that I refuse to let it get lost on me that ‘kindly’ could be attached to death. Anyway, that’s the food for thought I had this evening. I suppose Dickinson wanted one to have fun with it; I see the appeal.

[crixcyy]

A Prayer: for the concerning COVID-19 cases around the world.

I pray for today, that we are better than yesterday and will be even more so tomorrow whether we are showing symptoms or in our behaviour towards others.

During this difficult and trying time I pray that we will be kind to and love one another ever more than before and think of others in our day to day actions.

I pray for our health and care workers and others behind the scenes that are working every day to make us better at risk of their health. May they continue to have the strength, comfort and courage it takes to go in to work every day. And I pray that we all do more to show our appreciation for them. Many thanks to them.

And in all we do, I pray that we will continue to have love for ourselves and others as we pray for others and our loved ones to be safe as they go out to work or as they keep on living in self isolation day by day. In this time of social distancing, I pray that we connect with each other more through our shared sadness, joy, relief etc and learn the values of being here in this world for and with each other. We are here for you. 

This I pray for us all.

[crixcyy]

Currently watching: ‘Itaewon Class’

I recently binge watched the available episodes of ‘Itaewon Class’ on Netflix because I got hooked. Although I had an idea of how good it would be, I was struck because it turned out to be much better than I could imagine. Here are some thoughts I had while watching as I wait for the last two episodes to air next week:

Park Seo Jun, is definitely the right person to play the main character, I believe only he could pull off Park Sae Roy so well and in such an agreeable way. The casting on that part is impeccable and the rest of the cast too actually are very charming and they definitely draw you in because they play their parts well.

I am a huge fan of words and this drama has great dialogue so I was really soaking up all that was happening, from the emotions to the atmosphere, the dialogue between the characters is attractive and I am applauding the writers and I guess the original webtoon. When most of the fight in a drama is in words, you can really appreciate the character’s internal makeup; what makes them tick? what moves them? there’s much to be grasped from their words to each other. And that’s what made me decided to watch this drama, the trailer encapsulated the kinds of characters Yi Seo and Soo Ah would be from each of their lines.

One fun thing I thought was how in the beginning Park Sae Roy was this lone wolf character whose potential you could see and feel. And his values are so strong he manages to gather his own pack in which he is the alpha. It’s interesting to see how he moves and works through situations through this ‘pack’ and alpha wolf lens.

And I absolutely love the two female leads, they are both well fleshed out and they are quite different. It’s lovely to see how these two women are incredibly competent and confident in what they do and yet have opposing views which does not diminish their value in any way; they are focused. 

And finally, my favourite thing about this drama is how you can appreciate all the characters. Even the villainous ones, they play their parts so well and believe in their principles so strongly that if you follow their train of thoughts it’s easy to get lost and end up on their side. Only CEO Jang, with his strong authoritative views and the best food business could be a competent match for Saeroyi. And while it’s easy to dislike CEO Jang, I think it’s also easy to acknowledge and appreciate his love for his business and his background. Of course these do not justify the horrible things he’s done but it definitely makes an interesting watch where you anticipate what each character will do because they are so well versed in their beliefs you almost crave their reaction. Because of that, I have had the best time watching and I can’t wait for the last two episodes. It will be sad to have no more episodes but I will move on with my heart filled.

[crixcyy]

Some thoughts on ‘Map Of The Soul: 7′ by BTS so far...

It’s finally here. The album has dropped today and I am so happy today to be experiencing all of it. Here are some raw thoughts (more like stream of consciousness) I’ve had on first impression.

ON is on. It’s a total BTS song, it’s strong, powerful and discusses overcoming life’s pains; they are calling their Army into formation to tackle life together; to take it ON.

The Manifesto film is amazing, even better than I could imagine. they know how to put on a show, especially a grand scale performance. You could say the other dancers represent their shadows and throughout the performance they all end up working together; they join hands and do what they do best, shadow or not; perform. It’s catering to the song, a performance of that scale because how can they say bring it on and not bring it on themselves. 

This feels so great to write about by the way, I’m so happy reflecting on what I’ve experienced of the album so far that I have this huge smile on my face as I’m writing this. It might also have to do with the fact that I’m listening to Tae’s ‘Inner Child’ right now; it’s so lovely and has a bit of innocence in the sound and it’s bright as well, I love it. 

And oh my goodness, ‘Louder Than Bombs’ I’ve connected with so much, it’s that song you know. One that I can click with instantly because it makes me reflect the minute I hear it. Well, not reflect per say, more like stare blankly into space because I’m caught up in the emotions of the song or the mood of the song has captured me. 

And I’m listening to ‘Friends’ now and oh my goodness I love it too. It’s making me emotional, I mean I knew Vmin’s bond was strong but aww. 

And I already love ‘Moon’ I only had to listen to the opening line and it’s about Jin’s love for Army. Oh my goodness I’m so happy right now. I love BTS with all my heart and I’m glad I do. Best decision I made when I decided I was an Army. All this love from them, it draws you in and comforts you and stays with you and allows you to share it all around. 

Alright back to ‘Louder Than Bombs’ I didn’t finish my thoughts on it. It’s about like noticing others pain from the position they are in I guess they encounter a lot more people and with that their pain as well. So, I guess it’s saying such pain is quite distinctive in the sea of their success and they too experience it and endeavour to bring hope to all of us as we deal with and cope with pain. It brings us together. 

And ‘Respect’, I’m so happy that Yoongi and Namjoon have finally teamed up for this song. For years in Bangtan’s songs they’ve been having this back and forth where Namjoon will start up a line of thought, complete it and then Yoongi would pick up the same line and start his verse. There’s been this thread of their brief exchanges in most of their songs that I’ve always loved when I picked up on it one day. And those mini exchanges have been in anticipation of this track where there is a dialogue between them.

 There’s much to be pleased with on this album, as always I am impressed and satisfied; a well-fed Army.

 And always, I love Bangtan. 

And throughout all these songs the members reunite again in ‘We are Bulletproof: the Eternal’ and conclude the ‘Bulletproof’ series that started 7 years ago at the start of their journey. So, they’ve come full circle with this album. 

Again, I love the way Bangtan works, they really know how to execute their stories, I guess you can appreciate how they don’t really do anything without meaning. 

I am certain that ‘We are Bulletproof: the Eternal will be the last song at their concert, it’s such a lovely way to close the concert, promising each other that our bond will stay eternal. That this universe that Bangtan and Army have occupied to share love for one another will last forever and will carry our memories for each other and for generations to come. 

[crixcyy]

BTS Concept Photos - Map Of The Soul: 7

Version 4:

I Love this version. From the second I saw these photos, I had a smile on my face. I think it’s because they’re easy on the eyes. There’s nothing else going on it’s just the members smiling as they are and so it’s easy to focus on them. I could engage with this version well with no difficulty in comparison to the other versions which took a while for me to appreciate. And I think it’s because the members look the most normal in this version, they are familiar and this is the only version where they are smiling and they look relaxed as well. Plus in the individual photos, different members feature in some of the shots of a specific member and you can feel their playfulness and their bond. This puts me at ease as the viewer and I also can’t help but mirror their smiles. With this version, we get to see a side of the members which is the one we are all familiar with; 7 guys being together and having fun in all that they do. It makes me think that the concept photos of this era are showing the various personas and/or egos of BTS as they experience and deal with fame. 

And the reactions the different versions have produced in me, highlights how BTS are presenting these sides of themselves to the world to express their perspective of experiencing worldwide fame. It’s not always so cheerful and pleasant for them as some of these versions depict. BTS have had to confront and deal with the shadow of fame and my discomfort with some of these photos that display metaphorical shadows conveys my reluctance to engage with BTS in photos where their struggles are displayed and their smiles are lost. And acknowledging this has helped me appreciate all the concept photos because that’s their reality and I cannot ignore it. These version 4 photos are all the more precious to me and I like that they were released last because it’s like a reassurance that BTS will carry on, shadows and all. 

Finally, this group photo is amazing, because though they are in black and white it doesn’t matter. Their smiles light up the photo and their playful personalities seem to demand the orange/yellow doodles around them. It’s as if even without the doodles, their lively and playful demeanour would make us imagine the cute drawings around them anyway. That’s what BTS are like. Together, they are so filled with this wacky, cheerful, and animated energy, that it amuses anyone who witnesses it. These version 4 photos are but one testament to this. 

[crixcyy]

BTS Concept Photos - Map Of The Soul: 7

Version 3:

For this version, I was immediately reminded of ‘Dionysus’ and how they used the concept of the greek god to execute and express their artistic strengths in a song. This image I think does the same. All the members are sitting at a table that’s covered with food and some other decorations. In their hands, most of them are holding a cup and they look like they are the masters of that table. When you take all this in, the image you can see is portraying extravagance; it’s showcasing the members as partaking in a luxurious meal. There’s not much to want as they seem to have everything in their reach. Note the lute which of course represents music which is a major part of the members’ identities and something that is always present, it seems, at this table where they have everything. 

And as the table is overcrowded, the image gives the impression that they are dining in excess; they have more than they need and are overindulging in it. This links really well with ‘Dionysus’ because he is the god of festivities in its most elaborate and exaggerated form. And this image made me think of that quote ‘my cup runneth over’ which is the attitude that I feel from the photos. They are classy, refined and surrounded by lavish provisions presenting the ego side of themselves which like the song ‘Dionysus’, conveys a performance that is overflowing with their artistry and is excessive in its execution. Here, they have taken on the form of their ego the one of BTS the world’s biggest boy band, whose career has been so fruitful because of the stellar artists they are. Did I mention, I love them? With all my heart, enthusiastically. I patiently await their comeback where I am sure they will present to us the ego that surrounds this image and more. They have teased that we should anticipate the album as it will be bigger and we won’t be disappointed. Rather we will be thankful for being a fan, an Army. I know I am.

[crixcyy]

BTS Concept Photos - Map Of The Soul: 7

Version 2:

When I saw these photos my first thought was ‘Black Swan’ because the members are all clad in black and they have wings. The wings definitely stands out and in a way these set of photos seem like the counterpart of the version 1 photos where they are dressed in white. And though in those photos they don’t have wings, there are feathers floating around the members that implies that there is something about them that is hidden whether it be wings or now. I think here where their wings are on show, the members are representing that secretive or mysterious side of themselves. These photos show them with their wings spread out and they are gazing directly at the audience as if to say, ‘this is us’ wings and all. And it’s impressive because they look amazing. It’s as if someone happened to capture these magnificent winged people in their element and if someone else was to take another picture of them they would get this same image, one where all that is to be seen is seen. I feel like with this version, what you see is what you get and that is the pure character of whichever part of themselves they are portraying. Now whether that is the shadow part of themselves or ‘Black Swan’ or other is intriguing to reflect on.

[crixcyy]

BTS Concept Photos - Map Of The Soul: 7

The concept photos for their upcoming album have all been released finally this week and it just means the album release is around the corner.

All the photos have definitely left me with strong impressions and I am now highly anticipating the album.

Version 1:

If I’m being honest, this version made me feel uncomfortable and that’s mainly because of the huge hole in the floor. Also, their legs hanging in that hole made it worse. But after some reflection, I realise that the image is probably supposed to evoke discomfort in the audience. As their pre-released songs such as ‘Black Swan’ and ‘Shadow’ have made clear, not all is rosy and sparkly in the lifestyle of overwhelming success, despite its shine. So, I think that’s what the version 1 photos capture. 

The members in white have this celestial essence about them with the feathers that surround them but this is offset by the gaping black hole. And of course, BTS captures your attention but so does the hole and they are around and halfway in it which is quite troubling. I think the message is, no matter how bright you shine, you cannot escape the shadows. And that’s their reality which is difficult to deal with and also almost impossible to deal with. I mean, note my discomfort with these images as an outsider and what they have to deal with, I imagine is worse. And the hole leaves the impression that it will increase in size with time and it threatens to swallow the members. But it’s reassuring nonetheless that they are not engulfed by it and some of the members are standing while the ones sitting down appear to be unbothered. As troubling as these photos seem, there is some hope in the idea that the members are familiar with the hole; they are aware it’s there and may have even confronted it. These photos might be my favourite now in spite of my first impression. They contain a truth to them that is inconvenient to admit. That they’ve made me acknowledge this, is why I love them all the more.

[crixcyy]

[MyLoves] Song Review Corner

‘Can’t We Just Leave The Monster Alive?’ [track 5]

It’s been a while since I posted a song review from TXT’s ‘The Dream Chapter: Magic’ album so I’m posting another one to continue the series.

This song usually comes to the back of my mind whenever I though about posting another review for a song on this album. And I think that has a lot to do with how the song itself sounds to me; there’s this lovely melody that stays in the back of your mind. It’s not suffocating or intrusive, just a mellow sound filling me up with warmth, it’s very touching.

I tend to categorise songs based on how they make me feel and this song goes in the ‘evokes soft and tender feelings’ category because I can’t think of it without my heart softening at the thought of it. Right from the start, the slow, elongated, lulling croon that opens the song is very comforting. I find it difficult not to be touched by that opening. And I think it gives the idea that this song is meant to be consoling. The lyrics do exactly that throughout by repeating ‘It will be alright, alright, alright, alright’ in the chorus along with that same soothing melody you hear in the beginning. Check out the English translation of the lyrics here: 

https://txtonnews.wordpress.com/2019/10/22/cant-we-just-keep-the-monster-alive/

Hence, the song is reinforcing what it set out to do in the first place; offer warmth and solace by being consistent in reassuring you that ‘it will be alright.’ And throughout, I am convinced that ‘it will be alright’. And this track itself is about reassuring yourself and your friends that all will be fine especially for young adults, growing up can be a stressful time so reassurance is needed.

The members’ voices also help support this message to trust that everything will be okay. They too sing in a soft register that blends well with the tone of the song and they deliver the emotions well. They are communicating the song’s message and as the title suggests, even the ‘monster’ deserves to be alright hence maybe we can avoid killing it. Although the literal monster they are referring to is the one you find in a game, you can apply it to real life struggles. It’s reassuring us that it’s okay to be kinder, to forgive easily because after all, it’s alright.

When this song comes on I am always comforted, it’s doing something that’s moving and it works. It’s magic!

[crixcyy]

Some thoughts on ‘Black Swan’ by BTS

BTS’ single from their upcoming album finally dropped last week. It’s called ‘Black Swan’ and it is an artistic beauty. All their hearts, thoughts and feelings have been poured into it. And they’re talking about very relevant things connected to their status as global superstars. Hence, I think this album will be tackling the dark sides, shadows if you may, of their success and position in the music industry. And it makes perfect sense. 

I have always loved how all they do kind of falls into this structure or theme that is their own creation which stands out and makes the overall picture clearer. As if that’s the most logical position they could take, or  the next move they should make and so they make it. 

I must say, Bangtan makes sense to me. All that they do for the most part makes sense. It’s impressive. This song is about the fear of losing passion for music. The one thing that makes their universe make sense, the one thing they work hard for, for us and them. And it is a plausible fear because it’s such a human tendency to lose interest in something. So, this song works you know, it alerts us to issues that affects us all in some way. I can definitely relate to that. 

I mean isn’t that what I’m always going on about in here in not so many and veiled words? It is to make that clear that I too am afraid of dying the first death. 

Seeing as ‘Shadow’ and ‘Black Swan’ are talking about the side effects, to put it crudely of being so successful, BTS are really in control or are owning their narratives. If you think about it, the previous album (Map Of The Soul: Persona) was all about focusing on the little things in light of their lofty positions as megastars because it’s easy to forget about where you came from when you’ve been elevated to impossible heights. So, they did what they did best, looked at and thanked Armys for their success and for being loved. 

They were returning the love, to say we are with you, always. No matter where we are or how high we fly, because after all, you are our wings. 

Therefore, by focusing on their success again this time, but on the parts that aren’t necessarily always so public, is impressive and a fitting chapter to open for this new album. 

I’m incredibly fascinated with this venture because I did wonder where they would go after the Love Yourself series and was pleased with the direction they took. Then I began to wonder about where they would go next as part of the Map of the Soul series because there’s only so many ways to showcase dark or light concepts you know, like how would they stay relevant and true? 

And once again, they did not disappoint. As expected of course really! BTS are right where they should be and I am excited about the album and what they have to show us. In all they do, I am here, a proud Army, always.