hrvatistan

efendim stojan šmrk + efendim zika mlaz / cro + eng / cro nt enjoyers (and others) / pioneers of delusion and insanity

[crocvnts]

General introduction to the leaders of Crocvnts:

efendim zika mlaz

Nicknames: Zičomir, Zika, Mlaz

Pronouns: she/her

Nationality: Croatian

Age: 18

Favorite players: Dominik Livaković, Sergio Ramos, Ricardo Kaká, Yassine Bono, João Félix, Dani Olmo, Lovro Majer, Dominik Szoboszlai (obvious)

Favorite clubs: Dinamo Zagreb, LEICESTER CITY, AC Milan, RB Leipzig (im sorry), Union Berlin

efendim stojan šmrk

Nicknames: Stoja | Stojan | Šmrk

Pronouns: she/her

Nationality: 🇭🇷

Age: 18

Favorite players: 1. Luka Modrić, 2. Sergio Ramos, 3. Dominik Livaković

Favorite club: Real Madrid

General info about the blog

< https://youtu.be/W1eMT5dbe-c >

This is a semi satire blog (the down badness isn't satire). It's run by two people aka Zika Mlaz and Stojan Šmrk. This blog is used to share our personal thoughts and random shit we find relating to the cro nt or football players we like, or literally whatever we want. Before you say you are concerned for us, know that we are too <3.

Most importantly don't take anything here to heart this is literally a joke fan blog so please don't be stupid :)

[miss-i-ship-it]

what if i kill myself

[crocvnts]

If we win the 2nd place at Euros I think I'm genuinely going to have a mental breakdown

[crocvnts]

I'm so desperate foe them to win that I'll turn back to catholicism. I just need my pookies to win.

-Efendim Stojan

[crocvnts]

WE WON. WE WON A TOURNAMENT. A NATIONAL TOURNAMENT. LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOO

[crocvnts]

I'm sorry BUT WHO THE FUCK APPROVED OF THE NEW JERSEY DESIGNS??? THEY'RE SO UGLY.

Okay I actually like the blue one but the red and white one is ATROCIOUS. IT REMINDS ME OF WHEN COMPANIES MAKE THEIR LOGOS MORE MINIMALISTIC FOR NO REASON.

Like...

THEY'RE NOT CUNTY ANYMORE 😭

[crocvnts]

Mitski wrote "I bet on losing dogs" in 2016 so I can listen to it whenever the Croatian nt loses a game.

[crocvnts]

I love being petty <3

[crocvnts]

they have no fashion sense whatsoever so i dress them instead

ik these r a bit too fashionable 4 a straight man 2 wear outside but how many fucks do i give? nun

- efendim zika mlaki

[crocvnts]

My friend: what do you want for Christmas?

Me: I want Jude Bellingham, naked and oiled up under my Christmas tree (haha I said that as a joke of course guys I wasn't serious (I was serious))

My friend: ... I'll see what I can do...

WHAT SHE DID:

SHE MADE A FUCKING CLAY SCULPTURE OF JUDE 😭😭😭

[ruben-dias]

god the list is so long

[crocvnts]

Happy world cup anniversary to others, not to us cuz here at crocvnts we are haters! <3

[crocvnts]

[crocvnts]

Happy world cup anniversary to others, not to us cuz here at crocvnts we are haters! <3

[crocvnts]

I FUCKING LOVE ROBERT LEWANDOWSKI HE'S FUCKING AMAZING RAAAAAAA-

[crocvnts]

Average conversation for croatian NT during 2018 world cup

[kyghostly]

[miss-i-ship-it]

happy anniversary!!!

[crocvnts]

A bit late but happy anniversary to one of the happiest nights we experienced. <3

[crocvnts]

How I felt watching tonight's Euros 2024 draw

[crocvnts]

"He's old enough to be your dad", fuck, you're right... 😭