The Hitman’s Bodyguard starters pt. 1
“It’s just as you predicted.”
“Thank you for agreeing to an earlier departure time.”
“‘Are we ready?‘ I’ve been waiting! What the hell took you so long?“
“It’s best if I go through doors first.”
“You don’t know what I’m dealing with here.“
“These people are animals!“
“I can appreciate your concern, but I assure you, you are perfectly safe.“
“All you need to do is exactly what I tell you.”
“Fuckin’ hell. I know it’s you. I’ve got caller ID!”
“Have a seat, it’s been a long day.”
“That’s mighty fucking white of you.“
“We have taken every precaution to make sure that your involvement is completely classified.”
“That makes me feel so much better.“
“Well, I can assure you, even if there was an attempt, we’re more than prepared for any assault.“
“You prepared for that assault, motherfucker?”
“Uncuff me, give me some car keys, a couple guns, I’ll meet you guys there.”
“I don’t have to remind you of the importance of this.”
“I’m just saying, now might be the perfect time to write one of those “I’ll always love you” texts.”
“Relax, motherfucker. If you hear the shot, it wasn’t meant for you.”
“Don’t even think about answering that fucking phone!”
“Now, I need medical supplies, and you need help. So, if you’re gonna call somebody, they have to be totally out of the loop.“
“I’m not gonna let you charm me into this one, [name].”
“Okay, let’s be clear. I’m not any happier about this than you are, but I don’t have a choice.“
“You can’t just threaten me into taking orders from you.”
“What do you want, you useless piece of shit?”
“My bad. What do you want, you fucking piece of shit motherfucker!”
“I just wanted to hear your voice.“
“Fuck you! There, you heard my voice.“
“The only reason I’m in this shit hole is so that they can get to your sorry ass!”
“How you doing? Made a shank yet?“
“Do they have those flowers you love?“
“What kind of a piece-of-shit husband doesn’t remember his wife’s favorite flowers?”
“Let me start by saying I love you.”
“You fucking piece of shit!“
“Go ahead, you might as well finish the job.”
“I was in love with you. I trusted you.”
“I don’t have the time for your insane shit, okay?”
“You know how long I’ve been waiting for this?”
“You know he’s a murderer, right? You’re playing nurse to a murderer.“
“Twenty-seven times. That’s how many times this asshole has tried to kill me, 27… 28!”
“So I gotta risk my life protecting this coffin magnet over here?”
“You’re terrible at almost everything, but you’re good at keeping people alive.“
“You know they call them swinging dicks for a reason.”
“How about we never speak of this again?“
“My job is to keep you out of harm’s way.“
“Thank God you’re here. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”
“[laughing and coughing] Made that jump on one leg.“
“I made that jump without jumping. Let’s go.”
“So, what’s your next trick, showing me how we escape without escaping?“
“Let’s just try to get to the car without killing anyone, all right?”
“Why don’t you lay back and keep from getting spotted. Get comfortable.“
“Well, [sighs] I like my odds.“
“She’s making a mistake.“
“There’s an art to low-impact, high-efficiency breaking and entering, but… [groans] Art’s subjective.“
“And you’re bleeding again.“
“You know, for a dude that runs around killing people, you’ve got this really strange thing about bleeding.”
“Well, you’re uninsurable, trust me.”
“Get in the fucking car!“
“What happened? Lose your edge?“
“[laughing] Played by the heart. Happens to the best of us, man.“
“Assassin and eavesdropper. You’re a real double threat.”
“Well, you were whining like a bitch so loud, I heard you through the wall.”
“So, she dumped you because of all your tight-assed, “Boring is good, look before you leap, put your seatbelt on” shit?“
“Oh, motherfucker, I know she dumped you. I’m just perusing all the reasons why, and there’s a plethora of those motherfuckers.”
“I know what plethora means! It just doesn’t apply here!”
“Not jumping off the top of a roof, that’s logical, that’s safe. You know, wearing a seatbelt: logical, safe.”
“Let me ask you something, how many times have you been shot?”
“Now, we both know that’s bullshit.“
“That’s not bullshit, okay? This was a little flesh wound.”
“That extra “A” in “Triple-A rated” stands for “ass,” yours, between mine and a bullet.“
“[Name], you cannot be prepared for everything!”
“That’s really beautiful, man. Do you ever just write stuff down? I don’t know, throw down a haiku or two?”
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