Who Do You Think You Are I Am

[assyrianjalebi]

[tarokomain]

[myboyfriendpetebuttigieg]

Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.

Trying to prove a point to my divorce lawyer.

[shewillbelubed-deactivated20201]

i didnt choose the thug life my mom picked it out for me

[biscuitsandtee]

it was on sale

[shewillbelubed-deactivated20201]

thanks mom

[fruitgushers]

a dead scene kid is trying to contact me through captcha

[wizardbreasts]

[awidevastdominion]

a viewing tower for fish made with an old fish tank and a couple of cinder blocks

[fini-mun]

Whenever I see these ‘observation towers’ they’re always jam packed with fish. Do fish just enjoy being able to see over the regular water level that much? Is this a good method of enrichment for fish?

[my-cat-said-no]

If you could hang out in space, wouldn’t you???

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[thisisalsoyou]

woops

[thisisalsoyou]

[nokiabae]

Casey Frey makes me feel like I’m awake during surgery 

[yllcm]

if you decide to unmute anything on this hellsite today please for the love of god let it be this

[mjalti]

nothing is real and then all of a sudden everything is very real with no warning

[i-am-a-fish]

click for better quality

[anotherpapercut]

apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

[anotherpapercut]

this is the phone. he apparently was in the middle of a meeting with the department the other day and got annoyed so he pressed a button, said “I have to take this” and left

[beka-tiddalik]

David’s co-workers probably: “This is a valid tactic to embarrass him into buying a mobile phone, right?”

David: “Bold of you to assume that I get embarrassed.”

[weaver-z]

I despise having lucid dreams when I’m in the throes of hyperfixation. I just fell asleep and had a dream where I was talking to Beelzebub in a really casual way and I asked “oh so was Crowley the first demon to defy Hell and go native?” and Beez said “No, someone else did before him, here he is now” and it was Gordon fucking Ramsay

[poisonedcure]

okay but that’s a galaxy brain take

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

[donnasweettttttttt]

if you don’t currently have any weed, you’re so fucking brave, hang in there, i’ve been where you are and i promise it gets better, you’ll have weed again soon, i’m blessing you all with that energy

[stability]

im so tired but ill probably be awake until 3 am for no reason