alerie hopes for a reprieve from the feeling that starts to grow in their chest the more they think about all that has happened. the loss so felt in every tyrell heart as senya and the child leave a world that was not ready to say goodbye to them yet, the loss that her heart seems to be set on never letting her go of. a loss only daemon seems to quite understand, her mind tells her, for none in her life knew how much pain the loss of a velaryon love leaves behind. alerie feels his presence, the way he puts a plate of food between the two of them ( alerie is sure whatever it is would be as tasty as anything they’ve ever tasted but their chest is so full of wanting something they can’t have that they’re sure it presses down and there’s no space left for anything else ), the way he sits down so quietly next to them, the way they both want to take his hand but are just as scared of what the comfort will invite. daemon’s hand comes as a much needed anchor that alerie holds, while his words come as a rude awakening. all alerie can hear is that not even time will completely free her heart of this tight feeling, a fear of letting it beat fast for anyone ever again. their other hand comes to rest on their face, their elbow resting on the arm of the chair. they beg their tears to not fall for the tyrell knows they won’t be able to keep that from bringing all that they’ve avoided along with it, months of grief unleashing right there and then if they were not careful. “he was going to show me life on a ship, he was going to ———” a lump forms from the words that get caught up in their throat. they had spoken so much of their life together that they’d forgotten how the gods have their own sense of humour. alerie can’t even say his name. “we talked so much of a life together and now…” alerie shakes their head, eyes finally meeting daemon’s violet ones for a moment before avoiding them again. now, their own gaze is on their belly, their free hand coming to rest on it again. “what am i supposed to do with those dreams, daemon?” a genuine question, wanting to know how to deal with all that would never be.
daemon never expected the loss he’s held so close to his chest to become a lifeline extended, a beacon of light guiding ships home. he knows the lost look in their eyes, not like they can’t find their way home, but as though they have lost the very home they clung to. his heart ached for it, ached for her, for the way the gods have taken and taken from alerie with no end in sight. if his company can be only a slight comfort than so be it, but he remembered distinctly how much he longed for quiet company after laena died, longed to know that he was not as alone as he felt. to have someone at your side constantly and then to have them ripped away, it was a feeling he’d not wish on anyone. even if the food goes untouched, it’s important to him that they had it, that they had something at their disposal to keep their strength up, now more than ever. daemon gave alerie’s hand a gentle squeeze, letting his thumb rub absently along the back of her hand. it makes his chest ache, wondering how long they’d been tamping down those emotions just beneath the surface, letting the storm of grief build. ❝ you do not have to hold yourself together for me, ❞ he offered quietly, voice nothing but a gentle murmur between the pair of them. it was hard to plan for a future, to detail your wants and your endeavors with the one you love, and then know they’d never come to fruition. like he and laena wishing and planning for children they’d never have, or charting the beaches of dragonstone like pirates for treasure; a happy marriage that had cost her her life. it is the motion to their own swollen belly that pangs him, reminder of what the gods keep out of his reach even still. ❝ you share them with your family, with your child. you teach them to love the sea, show them great ships and let it be what brings you close to him again. ❞ it is sound advice, and he was sure they’d heard more than enough to not seek it out. from people that didn’t understand, that didn’t know the grief of a wound that felt as fresh as any flesh one. ❝ you mourn them, but then you make new ones. it is all you can do. ❞