Pregnant Jurdan, part 1
Part 2
Being High Queen means always being busy. Always being busy means a lot of the time I have no idea what day it is or how much time is really passing.
It isn’t until I’m sitting in the brugh during a revel that I notice a full moon in a sky. Something about this seems significant to me, and I force myself to think as hard as possible.
And then I realize.
I’m late.
I can already feel my heart pounding loudly in my chest.
Turning to Cardan, trying to seem as calm as possible, I say, “I’m going to turn in early. Enjoy yourself.”
I don’t give him much time to respond before I’m taking my personal guard back to our chambers. If anyone notices something off about my mood, they don’t mention it.
I’m slamming my door and pacing the parlor before my mind can come to any decision. I’m positive I’m late because the last time I remember bleeding was two full moons ago.
Suddenly I feel dizzy.
“This doesn’t mean anything,” I try telling myself. “Stress can make things irregular.” Even though the last time I was irregular was when I was 14. I know that this isn’t merely a missed cycle.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I crack the door open and call Fand over. I keep my voice steady but quiet while I say, “Please send a healer. And be as discreet as possible.” Without waiting for questions I’m back in the parlor.
I’m already coming up with plans in my head. If I am... pregnant then it’s not the end of the world. I’ve been queen for almost eight years now. Cardan has briefly mentioned wanting children with me.
I’m most scared for myself. Which already gives me evidence that I’d be a terrible mother. I was raised with too much hate and destruction to ever be a good mom. But now it seems I won’t have a choice. I don’t know what to do to ensure I don’t screw a baby up like I’ve been screwed up.
A light knock comes at the door, and when I give the okay an imp hobbles in. She reminds me of Tatterfell, but with a face that seems less kind. Perhaps I’m just used to Tatterfell’s fondness.
“Your majesty,” the imp says to me, bowing her head. I’m too panicked to get annoyed that she doesn’t kneel. It will take far longer than eight years for a kingdom of immortal beings to accept a mortal as their ruler.
That seems like a small worry now.
“You’re a healer?”
All she does is nod.
“If anything we discuss in here tonight leaves your mouth outside this room I’ll have your tongue cut out, and I’ll throw you up into the Tower of Forgetting.” When she looks slightly alarmed I continue. “I have a suspicious I might be with child. What can you do for me?”
“May I touch you, my lady?”
I don’t particularly want her to, but I give a stiff nod. She motions to my body, and then I understand she means to touch my skin. My stomach. I don’t care much for modesty at the moment, so I strip out of my dress so all I’m in is my mortal undergarments. At least they’re not polka-dotted.
She approaches slowly, and then places one of her gnarled hands on my stomach. It’s cold and not soft, but I say nothing. She can probably hear how fast my heart is beating. I definitely can.
Minutes pass, and she moves her palm several places around my stomach. I’m getting anxious. I know getting mad will do me no good, but it feels like a can of soda that’s been shaken. Too much is going on inside of my head.
The imp clears her throat and steps back respectfully. “You are with child, my lady. In fact, I believe you are with two children.”
And then the world goes dark.
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When I wake, I am in my bed. A damp cloth has been placed across my forehead, and I can feel someone holding my hand. I already have a sneaking suspicion who this someone is.
I turn my head to the side to see Cardan sitting in a chair at the edge of the bed, forehead resting on his forearm. He’s still in the clothes he was wearing at the revel. He must’ve been called when I passed out.
The anxiety is still there, but I’ve built a wall around it. I can’t let it all flow out yet. I need to be smart about how I handle this situation. I need to treat it like every other obstacle I’ve ever approached.
Minus the murder. But that’s what Cardan is here for.
“Cardan,” I whisper, squeezing the hand he’s holding mine with.
He immediately stirs, a sleepy smile on his face when he sees me. And then is immediately replaced with a look of concern. “Jude. What happened? All I was told is you asked for a healer, and then you fainted. She wouldn’t tell me anything else.”
His worry over me makes me feel guilty even though there was nothing I could do about passing out. I was a slave to my body’s whims. But I need to tell him. I’ve learned from my mistakes in the past of keeping things from him. He doesn’t appreciate it, and it only leads to problems between us. We don’t need anymore of those than we already have.
I squeeze his hand again and motion for him to come onto the bed with me. “I’m okay.” Not a complete lie. I’m not dying. “But I have some news.”
His large black eyes feel like an unescapable tornado. I’m being sucked in. Before I can think of a good way to explain, I’m saying, “I’m pregnant. With twins.” Maybe that is the only way to explain it actually.
He sucks in a breath which does nothing to ease my anxiety. “Are you lying?”
That’s offensive. “What? No, of course not why would I lie about this?”
“I’m sorry, I know, I’m just...” Seeing Cardan at a loss for words is half exciting and half terrifying. A smile breaks across his face. His perfect face. “Jude!” He’s laughing now. I wonder if fae are able to become psychotic. Or more psychotic than normal. “That’s amazing! Wait, twins? I’ve never heard of Faerie twins. Are you sure?”
I’ve never heard of it either, but I doubt there have been many twin mortal consorts to begin with. “Unless imps have learned to lie, we are having twins.” Saying it out loud just makes my head spin more. Two of them?
He grabs my face and slams his mouth against mine. It’s quick, but it translates all the excitement he’s feeling. “This is wonderful,” he says breathlessly.
His happiness is infectious. I wouldn’t say he’s unhappy most of the time, but I’ve never seen him like this. Right now I’m looking at the person he would’ve been without the horrors of his past. A person full of light and love for everything. I hope he can pass it on to our kids.
“You think we can do this?” I ask. I’m skeptical, but I remind myself we have more than enough help should we need it. And Taryn has been doing it for almost eight years. She was always the more adaptable type, but I have to figure that child rearing can be no more difficult than kingdom building. I hope.
Cardan gives me a soft look. He’s smiling, but I can tell he sees my worries. “Yes, Jude,” he says sincerely. “Our pasts don’t make us unfit to love. They show us why it’s so important to be good. And we will be good parents. Better than either of us ever had.” He kisses my forehead. “We have each other.”
He can’t lie so he must believe these things are true. It does make me feel better. He’s already proving that he’s more cut out for this than I am. Too bad I’m the one who will provide housing for the next nine months.
I pull him closer so that both our heads are on one pillow, and his head is in the crook of my neck. He lazily runs his fingers up and down my arm while he verbally daydreams about what parenthood will look like. He talks of reading faerietales to our children at night before bed. He talks of showing our kids all the different kingdoms of Faerie. He talks of loving them unconditionally, no matter what happens.
He talks until I fall asleep, dreaming of tiny feet and pointed ears.
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@gloriouspalacebakerylawyer @bookwyrminspiration @fallingstarsandeagles
I tagged those that requested this prompt! If this does well I’ll post part 2! It’ll include cute moments of Cardan helping out a difficult pregnant Jude and announcing it to the kingdom probably! Hope you guys liked this!
