I tapped my fingers against my desk as I watched the boy I was madly in love with flirt with the girl he's been talking to for months, he's never asked her out though. They seemed so happy and I keep wishing I could be that happy. I kept thinking that maybe one day it might be possible, but I don't see it coming. I laid my head on my desk and choked back a sob.
"Hey are you okay?" His deep voice scared me and I jumped a little. He smiled at me and I just stared into his E/C eyes. I couldn't utter a word but I shook my head no. His smile faltered and I just sat there, with tears welling in my eyes. At first I couldn't breathe and I tried to blink them back but it didn't work. The guy that I cared so much about was right in front of me asking if I was okay. My tears trickled down my face and I got up in a rush and pushed past him.
"Y/N! Please wait!" He yelled and I just ran to the bathroom and let it all out. I sat on the floor and sobbed. My body was shaking I couldn't hear anything over the sound of my crying and sniffling. I wiped my face and I heard his voice again.
"I'm coming in and I don't care if you don't want me to." He spoke softly and I cried even harder. I do care, he's all I want. He walked in slowly trying to make sure that it was okay he was in here. He finally got close enough to crouch down next to me. He went to touch me but I backed away.
"I'm fine C/N please leave..." I choked out and he flinched and gave me sad eyes. He opened his mouth and closed it. He stood up and turned around. He took one step and then sat down beside me.
"I'm not leaving." He said firmly as I closed my eyes and leaned back against the wall. He did the same thing I did. I opened my eyes and he was just staring at me.
"What." I choked out as I cleared my throat.
"I just want to make sure you're okay, you haven't been texting me back much and I want to talk to you but I don't want to force you to do that. I just wanted to check on you." I nodded and he wiped his finger under my eye.
"I'm sorry, I just can't talk to you." He gulped and looked at me sadly.
"It's fine, I just miss you so much." He said with a sad smile, I smiled at him and he hugged me. I shifted a little to get into a more comfortable hug and I ended up in his lap.
"I miss you too." I mumbled into his neck as he squeezed me tighter. I sighed and he shivered as my hot breath fanned on the back of his neck. I closed my eyes and just sat there content. I started crying again because this is all I want with him. He sighed loudly and it felt like he kissed my neck but I didn't want to assume. I leaned back and he had tears in his eyes, just like me. I put my hand on his cheek and he looked up at me.
"Whoa, whats wrong?" I asked slowly, trying to clear my voice. He cleared his throat and waited a few seconds before answering.
"I- Oh god... Y/n I love you. Like I actually care about you wholeheartedly, but I can't be with you right now..." I nodded slowly. I was too scared to speak. The boy I've been in love with since I was 16 just confessed his love for me, but he told me he couldn't be with me. I got off of his lap and he stood up with me.
"Please talk to me. Tell me you hate me or something..."
"No... I could never ever hate you. Not a single bone in my body could... I've loved you for a long time. That's why I stopped talking to you, it hurt me too much to talk to you. I just couldn't do it and I'm so sorry I stopped talking to you the way I did. " I cleared my throat and continued talking. "God I miss you and I get it. You're talking to someone and you can't do that to her, and if you like her that's fine..."
"No I don't like her I've been trying to let her down easy but she's persistent. She aggravates me. I love you Y/n, i'd rather talk to you every minute of the day than have to see her." I smiled at his kind words and he got closer to me. I looked up at him and he smiled down at me. I wanted to kiss him so bad but I couldn't do that. Not here. Not now, so I backed up and wiped my tear stained face. I couldn't do that to myself.Â
âI just need you to wait, please Y/n understand youâre who I want to be with." I nodded and he came and kissed my cheek. My breath hitched in my throat and I just took in the feeling of his lips on my face. He backed up and walked out of the bathroom with the saddest look on his face.Â
I splashed water on my face and finally walked out of the bathroom and headed back to class. I opened the door and everyone was staring at me and Ashley the girl that likes C/n was glaring at me. I looked at c/n and he just had his head down. I sat in my seat beside him and I grabbed his hand. He squeezed it tight and sighed. I smiled at the gesture and went back to finishing our work.
"Y/n?" I looked up from my work and stared at my teacher waiting for her to say something to me.
"I need you and C/n to go to the library." I nodded and he grabbed our stuff and I lead us out the door.
"Wonder what they need." He asked quietly as I just shrugged and smiled at him. We walked so close together that our hands touched every second. We made it to the library and no one was in there. C/n decided to sit on the couch and wait. I stared around the room for a second and then decided to sit with him.
"Why are you being so distant? It never stopped anyone before..." He asked randomly.
"I just thought that my feelings for you would go away but it hasn't happened yet, obviously." He chuckled at me and I rolled my eyes.
"Well why would they, I'm amazing." I slapped him and he smiled at me.
"Okay, but why are we even in here? The library is closed." He shook his head and got off the couch. I stared up at him as he smiled down at me extending his hand out for me to grab.
"Come with me." I grabbed his hand as a lead me out in a crowded hall. Mrs. Melton stood in front of the crowd and handed me balloons. I took them with a smile. I looked over to my side but C/n was gone, somewhere in the crowd. A random freshman handed me a leash and C/n's dog  stepped in beside me wagging his tail like this is the first time he's met me. I knelt down and rubbed behind his ears causing him to bark in excitement.
"Oh  I love you so much you sweet boy." A lot of the kids 'awed' at me but I just walked into middle where more balloons gathered. The next thing to be handed to me was a collar, it wasn't the right size for C/n's dog, more like a puppies collar. I stopped midway as soon as I saw C/n standing in the center of everything with a puppy in his hand and a card.
"What? Are you surprised?" I glared at him, but then I placed the leash, collar and balloons down. I ran towards him with the hugest smile on my face. I grabbed his face and kissed him so hard. He handed the puppy off to one of his friends and grabbed my waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he smiled deeper into the kiss.
"I just had to wait a couple more minutes." He winked at me and handed me the puppy and the card. It was a good wait.
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