FUCK IT I did a short one shot fanfic of this enjoy my cringe creation B)
IKEA-Feud (One-shot) (CW: Swear words)
KARKAT:
I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS. I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE BEEN DRAGGED THROUGH THIS HUMAN FURNITURE HELLHOLE FOR 5 HOURS BECAUSE YOU CLAIMED YOU KNEW WHERE THE FUCKING TABLE SECTION WERE!
ERIDAN:
kar i newwer said i possessed the entire layout at this miserable human labyrinth’ i merely suggested a most reasonable path and noww you’re actin like i committed some unforgivvable crime!
KARKAT:
THAT IS LITERALLY THE SAME FUCKING THING YOU IDIOT! YOU WALKED IN HERE WITH THE CONFIDENCE OF SOMEONE WHO KNEW WHAT THEY WERE FUCKINC DOING!
ERIDAN:
oh please kar do not pretend you’re above makin a mistake or two! you just enjoy screamin at my face because apparently i am the only one around here capable a annoyin’ you!
KARKAT:
THAT IS BECAUSE YOU KEEP DESERVING IT! YOU WALKED US INTO THE FUCKING LAMP SECTION, ERIDAN. WE ARE LOOKING FOR A FUCKING. *TABLE!!* WHY WERE WE LOOKING AT LIGHTING!?
ERIDAN:
because the lamps wwere clearly in the general direction at the tables section and i refuse to be blamed for the incompetence a these ridiculous human signs!
KARKAT:
THEY WERE THREE FUCKING AISLES AWAY YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT!?
ERIDAN:
three aisles is hardly some impossible distance! you’re bein dramatic as usual kar!
KARKAT:
NO. IT WAS NOT THAT FUCKING CLOSE! THAT IS THE KIND OF PATHETIC LOGIC THAT MAKES ME QUESTION HOW YOU MANAGE TO FUNCTION WITHOUT SOMEONE FOLLOWING YOU FUCKING AROUND WITH A FUCKING MAP!
ERIDAN:
oh wwonderful another insult from karkat vvantas the great master at navigatin. clearly my superior intellect mean nothing in the face of your endless screamin!
KARKAT:
YOU DO NOT GET TO ACT LIKE SOME GREAT GENIUS WHEN YOU GOT LOST IN A STORE WITH GIANT ARROWS ON THE FUCKING FLOOR! THOSE ARE FOR NAVIGATING THIS FUCKING BUILDING YOU IDIOT!!!
ERIDAN:
i did not get lost! i wwas simply explorin alternate routes and unfortunately none possess the vvision to understand that!
KARKAT:
YOU WERE WALKING IN FUCKING CIRCLES FOR 5 HOURS!!!
ERIDAN:
*scoff!* that is a vvery cruel interpretation a my tactical movement kar!
KARKAT:
YOUR "TACTICAL MOVEMENT" BROUGHT US BACK TO THE SAME FUCKING CHAIR DISPLAY!!
ERIDAN:
wwell maybe the humans wwere simply moving around the fuckin’ chairs all this time! i don’t know howe these land dwwellers fuckin do kar!
KARKAT: THAT’S IT!! I DON’T WANNA FUCKING DEAL WHIT YOU AND YOUR INTELLIGENCE OF A DEAD FUCKING FISH!
ERIDAN: …YOU TAKE THAT BACK THIS FUCKIN INSTANT YOU PATHETIC LOWWBLOOD!!!!
Meanwhile whit Feferi and Gamzee:
FEFERI:
)(ey Gamzee? do you )(appen to know where Karkat and Eridan are at? I thoug)(t they were coming for ice cream too! 38(
GAMZEE:
nO MoThErFuCkInG iDeA sIsTeR :o)
GAMZEE:
bUt yOu WaNt MoRe MoThEr FuCkInG SpRiNkLeS iN tHe NeXt IcE cReAm LaTeR? iM mOtHeR FuCkInG lOaDeT :o)
FEFERI:
)(a)(a! of course I do!! sprinkles make every treat a little more fintastic! glub glub! 38D
i had a dream last night that there was a new deltarune character named krailey and it just looked like a weird knockoff of ralsei that danced in place like a peanuts character and it pissed ralsei off like crazy
dailybridgerton
yousharknotpass
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