hey im moo

tw disordered eating ❤ pro recovery just in the thick of it rn ❤ she/her rn ❤ 24 ❤ (((autistic fucking clown)))

[cryingcatclown]

hi, i'm moo!

♡ my blog is 18+! i'm 24 and will not interact with minors here. i won't give advice/encourage negative or harmful behaviors to minors. get out while you can

♡ TW! this is an ed blog and i catalog my progress here under #moo's food diary, but i'm absolutely pro recovery (and have been in and out of recovery) and anti-fatshaming

♡ TW! i also struggle with substance abuse (mostly alcohol) so if that's a trigger for you this may not be the blog for u ngl <3 my drunk posts are under the tag #moo is drunk again

stats & goals

Height: 5'10"

CW/HW: like 230

GW1 (1/1/26): 220

GW2 (2/23/26): 200

GW3 (5/1/26): 180

UGW: as low as i can get without losing my ass, perhaps 140 :)

[cryingcatclown]

hiiii does anyone have recs for a calorie/exercise tracker that isn't obviously for eds/losing weight? ive been using samsung health and i love it bc it also tracks water intake and my period but im getting an iphone now ✊😔

[cryingcatclown]

oh also on the ed side of things rn im eating like someone who isn't disordered but i haven't given up on losing weight, now that i have Big Girl Money from my very good job im gonna start doing a ton of boxing classes and get so toned and so hot. im becoming what i hate (gym bro who clearly has an ed but nobody cares bc they have muscles and aren't bone thin)

[cryingcatclown]

sooooo uh update time ig for anyone who's still here bc it's been awhile 😭😭 ive been busy ok

i lost my job in september and couldn't find a new one bc the job market is shit rn, my gf cheated on me by kissing a friend while visiting her hometown for christmas, i decided not to break up with her about it but said she was on thin ice, and then the ice turned out to be thicker than i thought bc i kept accepting her being kinda mean to me (she has bpd and was trying to push me away type beat), then we moved into her mom's basement (half of which is currently being renovated and will be a full apartment that we can live in soon) in the hopes that the job market would be better here and i could actually find a job, i became friends with the girl my gf cheated on me with bc she's actually chill and Didn't Know, she got me a rly good job at her workplace which i really like and am doing really well at and im making a bunch of friends there, since we moved my relationship with my gf has improved sososo much which i can get into separately tbh bc i think there's a lot to why it got better so fast, and i have employer paid healthcare so i can get back on my meds soon so im actually really happy and satisfied with my life rn?

still an alcoholic though (my current work hours are helping me drink less though) so im day drinking on my day off rn

[cryingcatclown]

she: asked a probably rhetorical question about a comedian we both like and his potential queerness

i: answered non-rhetorically with an opinion i assume she does not share but that i believe and don't think is super far removed from her opinion

she: completely ignored what i said, being on her phone the whole time I was talking and not saying anything in response, and then we watched some of a show that she really likes

i, later: brought up that i felt ignored when she didn't respond to what i said about the comedian and his potential queerness

she: said "im sorry," but really quickly and nonspecifacally, so it felt like she was only apologizing in order to not fight about it and not because she actually felt bad about ignoring me

i: didn't let it go, and instead kept insisting that I felt ignored and that she do something different so that I wouldn't feel ignored in the future

she: said she had to go to bed because she has to work tomorrow morning, which is true but when she's having a good fun time she never has a problem staying up late the night before she works, so it still feels like an excuse to get out of the conversation just so she doesn't have to confront doing something wrong

[cryingcatclown]

ive been meaning to talk to my gf about something she said that rly bothered me but i keep putting it off bc the stress of not knowing how that conversation will go is making me constantly nauseous which means im eating less 😭😭 never let anyone tell you an ed won't affect the rest of your life

[cryingcatclown]

my dumbass forgave my cheating gf just for her to be a cold bitch to me 2 weeks later and say she doesn't care if we break up

[cryingcatclown]

and yes i will forgive her if she wakes up in the morning and says she was just drunk and her bpd was acting up and she was getting scared of commitment. i never said i was smart

[cryingcatclown]

my dumbass forgave my cheating gf just for her to be a cold bitch to me 2 weeks later and say she doesn't care if we break up

[cryingcatclown]

i feel like multiple things can exist at once and these are the things that exist at once for me right now:

i am kind and i believe in showing others kindness regardless of if anyone thinks they deserve it bc even if they don't currently deserve it in someone's opinion, the only thing that will show them that kindness is worth it is for them to receive forgiveness and kindness

i forgive others because i believe nearly everyone is deserving of it, but i do not forget that they did once treat me badly. i will forgive them one more time but i will not forget either time, and if i feel that they're taking advantage of my kindness i will no longer show it to them.

i expect people who I've forgiven to grow, in ways that we've talked about and in ways that they've discovered for themselves. i will lay out the ways that i expect our relationship to improve, but it's up to them to improve it.

if i don't feel treasured and valued in a relationship for a significant amount of time, i will leave it. it doesn't matter if I've previously felt treasured or valued in that relationship. if i feel like i haven't been treasured or valued for too long i will bring it up, and if things don't change then i will leave.

i love very hard and might excuse too much. when this happens, i will forgive myself and take whatever action is necessary in my relationships, including cutting people off. i may take every action i can before that point because i am kind and forgiving, but i will cut people off if needed.

[crunchbuttsteak]

[transexualpirate]

"at least venezuela lost a dictator" "the good thing about trump's invasion" "maduro deserved it" oh my god some of you are dangerously susceptible to fascist propaganda.

unfriendly and honestly hostile reminder that trump isn't invading venezuela because maduro is a dictator, or because of drug cartels. he's doing it only and exclusively because they have desirable oil reserves and no other reason. reminder that venezuela is a comparatively poor country that will never financially recover from this. reminder that venezuelans are suffering with the bombing and the air strikes. reminder that trump did it to steal from them and no one did anything. reminder that this sets a dangerous precedent and now all trump has to do to invade another country is claim they're in a dictatorship. reminder that trump is a fascist dictator.

this will only be bad, for venezuelans and for all of latin america (and possibly the whole world) in the long run. trump did this not to help the venezuelans or their country, but to steal their petrol and get away with it. and he will. because that's what dictators do.

[cryingcatclown]

on the bright side i haven't eaten in almost 24 hours bc im so stressed that i haven't stopped feeling nauseous this whole time

[cryingcatclown]

gf cheated on me

[cryingcatclown]

i literally don't know what to do. she kissed her friend on the dance floor during a night out and then instead of telling me she tried breaking up with me for bs reasons and then eventually told me it was actually bc she feels guilty bc she cheated on me. and obviously im mad that she cheated on me at all but im so fucking pissed that instead of owning her shit and apologizing and seeing if i would want to work through it she just gave up and tried breaking up. like i might be willing to work through things but only if she's also committed to working through things and making it up to me and rebuilding trust and based on how she handled it i just don't know if i can believe that she would be. and it sucks so fucking much bc i have no plan b, i fully trusted her 100%, i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, i was bragging abt her to my friends and family and strangers even, and now i just don't believe that she feels as strongly about me. it's so fucking unfair and idk what to do about it ive been crying basically nonstop all day

[cryingcatclown]

gf cheated on me

[mapleejay]

kitty cat purring gotta be in the top 1 sounds ever invented it's so awesome that there's a creature that can just be sitting and staring blankly at me but I know she's happy cause she's going brrrrrrrr

[cryingcatclown]

im so glad my best friend has always spoiled me and treated me well bc it made me not settle for less in any relationship and now I'm always treated kindly in my relationships

[cryingcatclown]

12/12/25

🤍 Lunch: Yellow tofu curry +420 cals

🤍 Dinner: Veggie stew +456 cals

🤍 Snacks, etc.: like 7 shots +700 cals

🤍 Exercise: Fitness Marshall -550 cals

🤍 Net cals: 1576