Cryptid_Larklin

milf hunter

[boguncle]

after inputting some complex algorithms into my super computer i’ve determined what tumblr will look like in the year 2020

[drbrianbae-deactivated20150616]

i love how this comes back after every shitty update staff makes

[longfurbyhusbandry]

watch my son spin

[aceyboos]

Old photo!! I need to take a new one with my updated suit, and updated mini me 🥰

[bugsoda]

SCROLL BREAK

use this break to:

drink unholy water

stare at The Figure

creep around

[smirking-olimar]

you are all going to see this post whether you like it or not

[bugsoda]

live your life to bewilder others and also eat pretty rocks. perhaps dirt as well

[inlovewiththenights]

[nyancrimew]

bwaaaah

[sentient-tent]

[cryptid-larklin]

Highkey love how fucked furbies look when they're only half put together

[mothman-suggests]

I aspire for your tomato plants to grow the biggest and strongest . and I do hope they are full of love and joy .

[mirkwoodest]

The "If you were over 6 feet tall and living in Wellington in 2001 you didn't have a choice my dude" is killing me, like I'm just picturing the LOTR casting directors running around Wellington with a measuring tape, black-bagging tall guys and shoving them into vans.

"You're a Lord of the Rings extra now."

"No! Please! I have a family! I'm supposed to work the closing shift at the Pita Pit tonight!"

"You serve at the pleasure of the Steward of Gondor now."

[frightstricken-deactivated20260]

i avoid printers at all costs but deep down i think i should've been a printer. life so easy. i sit there all squarelike and when someone has a minor task for me i goFUCK YOU

[afatlittledog]

me @ the demons that stand at the end of my bed:

it’s a lot warmer under the covers if you wanna come cuddle

[furbinthewoods]

dinner is finished and i'm gonna start skinning the new furby

[cryptid-larklin]

For desert?

[girlfromenglishclass]

“A modern retelling” oh so you mean worse

[disgruntled-neighborhood-wife]

“A Muppet retelling” oh so you mean better

[theaceneedsspace]

Meet my son he has every disease

[zack-the-robot]

drag king named Jay Peg