Cryptid Roots

Sibling team making patches that are cooler than you.

[cryptidroots]

Pack an order with me; patches inspired by project hail mary!

[cryptidroots]

Project hail mary inspired patch! It's the fox face from the cardigan Grace wears - we want to make the full fox as like a back patch soon.

Let me know what you think! And if you like it, consider checking out our etsy shop. <3

Love,

-Cryptid

[cryptidroots]

New beanies on the etsy shop! I totally haven't been procrastinating putting up new listings, nope, not me, why would you even think that?

[savrenim]

......suddenly struck by the idea for a piece of worldbuilding of "fae don't like iron bc it is the most stable element*"

*as in elements higher you can extract energy via fission and lower you can extract energy via fusion but iron itself there is no excess binding energy to extract at all

[savrenim]

YOU. YOU SEE MY VISION.

[ospreyonthemoon]

People: exposure to the fae realms makes you weak and sickly. Because of the fae

The fae: wow wow wow i LOVE uranium!!!! We should put it ALLLL over our land!!! This won't cause problems!

[crowthekiller]

i agree with the fae

[officially-plutonium]

iron is a fae warding rock

i am a human warding rock :)

[cryptidroots]

Hey, so we passed 250 followers on twitch - which is insane, and amazing, and I'm still in shock about it.

So if any of our raccoon followers are also here on tumblr then first off, a huge thank you for joining me on our little adventures, it's been an amazing experience. ❤️

And also, I'm excited to see how our community will grow and expand in the future! I have a lot of big goals, and if even one or two of them get done it will be crazy.

We're always working behind the scenes to make the community a little better every day, so thanks for sticking around during the learning curve. I gotta get like, real streamer things - like mods! And a raccoon mascot! And like real sub rewards, lol.

[thedgeofsleep]

i can't stop thinking about that scene in the beginning where simon is at the control panel and that shadowy figure darts off to the side where the computer is. and then parallel to that scene towards the end where simon is at the back of the sub and looks over to the control panel and sees that horrific (almost humanoid?) creature with too many teeth sitting in the chair and simon quickly darts over to hide by the computer almost like what that shadowy figure did in that earlier scene

idk maybe i'm still iswm pilled but that felt like some eldritch time loop shit. or simon literally seeing himself for the monster he is (or thinks himself to be)? or both???

[crunchity-munchity]

Oh and also they are missing the same arm and the monster is mutated on the same side of its head that simon gets the injuries on btw

(Also the arm he loses is the one that had the leaf pendant)

The SYMBOLISM

[hollowboobtheory]

imagine hiring an assassin and they talk to you in a customer service voice

[teaboot]

"Hello, how can I help you today? Wonderful, can I get a first and last name? And how would I spell that? Awesome. And would you happen to have an address for this individual? And place of work? Fantastic.

Now, I'm going to give you a number, and I'm going to ask that you send in a photo of your target alongside any additional information you may have- family members, security, combat training, medical conditions, just anything you can think of that might be helpful.

Wonderful, you are all good. All we need now is a piece of government-issued ID, for insurance purposes, and a location for payment pickup. We accept cash, gold, processed uranium, and etransfer.

I'm sorry, we don't take american express.

Good, okay, so it looks like we are all set- when the job is complete, you will be notified VIA discreet codeword that a stranger will whisper to you on a crowded street.

We do not issue receipts, but if you'd like, I can arrange for a specific breed of tropical flower to be sent to your home address. Our associates will be able to validate it should the need arises.

And is that everything you were looking for today? Great! Thank you for coming to us. Have a nice day!"

[teaboot]

Alternatively,

"I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid the Pope is a high-status target that is beyond our area of service.

Yes, I- no, I'm sorry, I'm not able to do that for you.

Okay. Okay. Yes, I understand.

Sir, if you're going to use that sort of language, you should know that our HR department does operate in a hands-on capacity.

Wonderful. You take care."

[nebulousboundsfloof]

They create a perfectly normal call cemter staffed by decidedly amoral college students and paying them at least 4x minimum wage.

[hollowboobtheory]

hiring manager: you’re not concerned about the ah, services we offer? 

a college student who has eaten ramen twice a day for the past year: for $25/hour i’ll pull the trigger myself

[talvin-muircastle]

Look, the difference between Assassins and Customer Service is that Assassins are paid a lot of money to kill people and Customer Service isn’t being paid nearly enough not to.

[ghostofhelena]

What I am going to get the most amusement and joy out of from this whole experience (outside of the movie itself and watching Mark succeed and achieve a longtime dream of his) is 100% watching Hollywood (like mainstream Hollywood and the entertainment industry, who still do not see Youtubers like Mark as legitimate creators) lose their fucking minds over how successful this film is.

This movie is officially in more theaters than Zootopia 2 and I guarantee you there are going to be studio heads and execs banging their heads against the wall because how does a self-financed, indie horror debut feature film by a relatively "unknown" (unknown outside of the sphere of Youtubers and streamers/gamers; I known In Space got nominated for an Emmy but Mark did say he was largely ignored by the media at the ceremony) filmmaker, based on an indie horror game, create this much traction?

Mark is an anomaly in the entertainment industry and I love that for him.

[cock-holliday]

People love to say things like “Hiding Anne Frank was illegal, turning her in would have been legal” without like fully grasping the modern implications properly. You have tons of folks like “if WW2 happened today id have __” that do not realize what is happening around them.

We have this idolized AND sanitized version of what happened then, and so we do not recognize it when it happens now.

Resistance fighters assassinated nazis and blew up weapons and infrastructure and destroyed records and forged paperwork and raised secret funds and smuggled people in vehicles and yes, hid them in their homes.

“Well it’s sad he got sent to an ICE camp but he faked his permit :/“

Whoever helped him fake his paperwork did what fighters in ww2 did. People who cut through chain link fences do what fighters in ww2 did, people who blow whistles chasing after ice cars do what fighters in ww2 did, people who destroy arms factories and cop city cranes do what fighters in ww2 did, people unmask agents do what fighters in ww2 did.

People are doing it now! They’ve been doing it now! You keep saying “oh if this happened here__” it HAS! It IS!

What are you doing about it?

[theivorybilledwoodpecker]

ICE agents forced to flee Minnesota neighborhood due to car alarm alert system

Frustrated Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers fled a Minnesota neighborhood after residents alerted each other by triggering car a

Basically, people are using their key fobs to set off their car alarms when they see ICE.

This is effective for several reasons:

Obviously, it alerts everyone that something is wrong. Given ICE has been terrorizing Minnesota, people are likely to immediately know it is ICE. This gives people time to flee or barricade themselves in their homes.

ICE loses the element of surprise.

If one person hears a car alarm go off, they can trigger their own alarm, alerting even more people, but also making it really annoying for ICE. Annoying sounds petty, but it can be effective. Have you ever been in a building when a super loud fire alarm went off? It's very hard to concentrate. You can't hear much else. You just want to leave. ICE experiences this when a whole street if car alarms go off. Which means they make mistakes.

[eddieisanidiot]

This was how we were alerted to ICE attempting to gain access to our apartment building. This 100% works.

[headspace-hotel]

People see that agricultural technology in the 20th century basically eliminated non-human-caused famines (correct) and conclude that current agricultural practices are ideal and that improving them is impossible (devastatingly stupid)

[headspace-hotel]

The US agricultural system is in crisis right now because common agricultural weeds are developing resistance to basically all safe herbicides. "Roundup Ready" corn is already obsolete in some states.

I'm reading a book called Where There are Mountains by Donald Edward Davis and some of this guy's takes on Native American practices feel really simplistic, and he says a lot of things that have me like, "Hey. I bet you could just ask a Cherokee person."

But he mentions that early settlers thought Native Americans were lazy because they didn't weed their fields, and outlines how that is wrong because the common "weed" species were themselves semi-domesticated and used as supplemental food sources.

Amaranth (a genus with several species) is one of the worst agricultural weeds in the Midwest, and huge amounts of money and pesticides are spent trying to contain it.

It also happens to be edible, and grain from it may have been the main source of calories for some pre-columbian civilizations.

THEY WON THE WAR ON WEEDS. BY RECRUITING THE WEEDS.

[headspace-hotel]

This past year, when we first tilled our vegetable garden, literally thousands of Amaranth plants popped up. An absolute WALL of them. We couldn't weed the garden fast enough to keep them down.

But this was the year I started hardcore delving into learning about nature, and, okay, several things:

Amaranth is the first plant in the ecological succession process. It thrives in the most devastated, empty environments but the mycorrhizal fungi hate it, so it disappears in places that don't get tilled or disturbed.

The Japanese beetles usually skeletonize our bean plants. This year, when the Amaranth got out of control, they were all over the amaranth and mostly left the rest of the garden alone.

This shit pops up by the thousands in any tilled patch of soil, and is almost unkillable. The more the soil sucks, the more the Amaranth thrives.

And you're telling me it's edible?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Amaranth is edible to humans but toxic to chickens. If you’re growing amaranth and you have chickens, don’t let them be in the same place because some chickens are stupid enough to eat it.

[mrsjdavis]

Recruit the weeds!

[cryptidroots]

The derpy tote bag is in shop; it is, I totally didn't procrastinate getting photos of it done or anything, don't worry, stop asking questions.

[cryptidroots]

<Insert some spooky pun here>

Heya! I think we've been holding onto this design since.....last year....but hey! It's in the shop now! Yep, right now! Go get it! Fetch! Ignore how long it takes me to update etsy listings, go on, get going!

....are they gone? Phew, hope they didn't notice all the other beanie designs I'm still adding to the shop, that would just be embarrassing.

[cryptidroots]

Ok; so I've sold one-off clothing items I've made in the past; and the items sell well and get positive feedback.

AND YET I STILL HAVE IMPOSTER SYNDROME AND BELIEVE NO ONE WILL BUY THE NEXT PIECE.

Every time; I get ready like ' I could make a collection of this, multiple people want it, I could be successful at this' - but after selling the one my brain believes it was a fluke and I just got lucky. I don't make more of them.

I literally have successfully sold clothing items I've made for years. I have a degree in sewing. Like the reality is I'm good at this thing.

Anyway; the lesson here is that I'm finally shoving the imposter syndrome gremlin into a dark basement and starting to work on a clothing line for Cryptid Roots.

This is one of the first pieces - I've been thinking of doing this design for months - the blank shirt was bought in bulk but the machine and hand embroidery is all done by us.

If you're also a creative suffering from the imposter syndrome gremlin; I totally get it, but I hope you're able to sit down and create still in spite of it.

Lots of love,

-Cryptid

[cryptidroots]

Derpy tiger blue beanie in the etsy shop now!

Working on a yellow version as you read this ( yes, you specifically).

If you aren't obsessed with kpop demon hunters know that we're currently tracking your location and the problem will be solved shortly. Don't run. It won't help you.

Love,

-Cryptid

[cryptidroots]

Derpy tiger patches from kpop demon hunters in the etsy shop now - I only listed a few so as to not get overwhelmed with orders, but thank you guys for the support! <3

[cryptidroots]

New patches coming soon to the shop-

'wake up' and 'no signal'

Stay tuned!