tips for new caregivers on how to help your partner regress - long distance ˎˊ˗
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I’m making this specifically for caregivers whose partner regresses in a different type of way than what’s usually shown. sometimes regression is not always about the physical aspect of acting like a child, sometimes it’s purely the emotional aspect of having the mentality of a child.
some people may never act like a child physically, they may only be in that type of headspace. sometimes in this headspace, it’s not always a bright and happy thing. they may only need you to guide them and take care of them like you would a child whose maybe going through some hard things.
they don’t want toys or to play dress up or to have childish things all around, they just want company and for someone to help them function / help take care of them while they’re in this strange headspace.
• ✩ go slowly, okay? sometimes the biggest mistake people make when starting this type of relationship, whether it’s platonic or not- is moving too fast. if they want to regress, there’s no need to automatically change your entire demeanor straight away, talk with them for a while, slowly start to say more things that would indicate that you are starting to help them regress / you are starting to show your cg space!
• ♡ give them little tasks to do / ask them simple questions. meaning- tell them to go try and get a snack or something to drink! or ask them to go brush their teeth / ask them if they did brush their teeth. this one is one that can help a lot- ask how they are feeling. see if they can tell you their emotions at them moment [ maybe see if they are feeling more regressed or see if they are stressed or calm, etc ] it can help you identify if you are doing the right thing.
• ✩ checking in with them is important / can make them feel more comfortable! this can go with the last one but asking them about how they are feeling or what they are feeling can help you read the situation and can help them see that you are paying attention / involved in the situation. you can ask them how small they are feeling or if they are feeling small at all, etc. this is also important since you guys are long distance, you can be there to read how they are truly feeling.
• ♡ here’s some more examples of what you can ask them since the emotional / verbal aspect will be at play more than the physical aspect, meaning there’ll be much more communication and verbal cues :
“what are you feeling, sweetheart / any pet name?”
“can you tell me how small you’re feeling?”
“what color is that, bub / any pet name?”
“are you feeling okay, hun / any pet name?”
“can you try and drink some water, bub / any pet name?”
anything like that! and you can follow up by praising them “good job, little one” and if they aren’t able to answer / do the task, “that’s okay, bub. thank you for trying, etc”
• ✩ make them a little self-care schedule. that could be just even having them decorate their own little list of written self-care steps or you both can make one so you can have it as well. just things like having them brush their teeth, wash their face, take showers, etc! you should not punish them for not getting these things done unless that’s something you and your partner decide that’s what they want / need.
• ♡ understand that this is not just roleplaying and you’re not just playing some fun game - even some age regressors themselves get this wrong and so many other do as well, they forget the reality of all of this and think they are just playing pretend and roleplaying some fanfic, sounding fantasy. if that’s how you wanna role, then okay but that’s not how this usually is half the time and you need to be aware of the reality whether you’re living it or not. you need to be educated on the dangers and the things that could go wrong. you need to understand the reality of emotions you are playing with if you do choose to ignore the not so pretend side of things.
• ✩ understand that your partner might not regress like all the stereotypes. they might not babble, baby talk, be energetic, be clingy, want attention, be whiny, want to color / do other child like activities, might not even be so verbal. I’ve seen people be in little space and they don’t show any signs of really behaving like a child that you would imagine, they have regressed to a place that just makes them more vulnerable to things and they may feel the mindset of a child but might not act it out. they might just need you to literally take care of them, be gentle with them, help them do simple things and talk to them as simply and softly you would a child. that could be their regression as a infant or baby, or it could not have a direct age or it could be older, that’s just their headspace.
• ♡ make sure to also be taking care of yourself and take needed breaks. It’s important that you don’t forget you’re human during this. If you need a break, you take a break. If your partner cannot understand that, then you need to revaluate your relationship. you as a caregiver is just as important as an age regressor.
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