ok but one of the worst feelings is being touch starved
You want to touch, but it can’t be someone you don’t kinda trust, and you’re afraid to ask let alone do it because it fucking sucks when someone belittles your needs or thinks it’s silly, or worse, thinks it’s pathetic
like you’ve gone so so long without the touch you need that you are just desperate for it
but you feel stupid for asking, for needing it, so you usually don’t
which makes you need it more, because it’s like every day you don’t get nice touches the problem gets exponentially worse
and someone touching YOU is like heaven… but if you ask for that, it’s gonna nibble at your brain that it’s artificial, that they don’t really mean it, that they’re just humoring you
and it doesn’t get better in days or weeks or months, because it didn’t get that bad to begin with in days or weeks or months
and the literal WORST thing is someone scorning you for touching them, even though it’s perfectly within their rights to not want to be touched, it is just devastating to the psyche to have someone that you care about enough to want to touch get angry or disgusted or annoyed at you touching them
I just want kisses down my spine, on my forehead, someone nuzzling into me, someone hugging me so tight it’s hard to breathe, petting my hair, scratching my head, idly rubbing my back
I want to hold someone, hug them with all my strength, bury my face into their clothes and skin and hair, kiss someone all over, touch them everywhere and do it over and over, run my fingers through their hair, play with their hands and kiss their knuckles and the veins on their wrists
and it hurts, like, I get physically ill if I don’t get touch when I have those moments I desperately need it but feel too afraid to seek it
it doesn’t even really have to be sexual, or romantic
And I haven’t had enough of it from the people I loved.
So now it’s kind of like a condition. Touch-starved.
janainaart
origamiaround
germansingergirl
2087
blakekathryn
jacobvanloon
jbbartram-illu
