Conceal don't Feel

Annie Leonhardt "I just want the weak who do get swept along with the flow to be considered human too." ┲ Independent Annie Leonhardt RP blog ┱ Tracking: crystallizedannieleonhardt

[arminthestrategist]

since the last goodbye

[arminthestrategist]

“Pinky promise,” he says seriously and holds his hand up to the screen to mime hooking his pinky around an invisible finger. “Okay, I know, I know.” Armin knows she’s joking, but he can’t help but sigh and lean back in his chair. He glances over at phone where it sits on his coffee table and feels the same echoing pang of guilt he’s been feeling all week. Every time he’d thought of Annie or his friends, he’d been in the middle of something or other, busy — but had he really been too busy to stop and send a text? He chews at his bottom lip as he nods along to her story. Even though he smiles where he should, he’s not so sure his smile is as genuine as it should be considering the occasion. At her questions, he straightens up, letting go of those heavy negative feelings in favor of focusing on the moment. He’s even got a headache brewing behind his right eye, but he refuses to let anything ruin his night with Annie. “I’ve been alright,” he says, meeting her gaze with a sheepish grin. “Your intuition is uncanny, but I promise I am getting at least six hours of sleep every night and having two proper meals a day. If dinner gets a little lost in the mess, well, it seems that’s part of grad school. But hey—” He goodnaturedly turns the tables on her now. “You’ve been as busy as me, I trust you’re taking care of yourself too? The same rules do apply!”

[crystallizedannieleonhardt]

Annie cant help but laugh at his actions holding up her own hand pretending to shake his pinky. "Thank you"

She chuckles once more leaning back to just look at him. Only now actually seeing his face did she realize how much she had missed him. How hard it was not to see him every day. She had all but lived with him at one point and now he was on the other side of the country. Really it was crazy, but somehow she had failed to feel what she was feeling now until she had heard his voice, seen his bright blue eyes and that button nose she loved so much. God.

"You better be. Unless you want me to call up someone on your building just to make sure you are doing ok. Wow that sounded creepy" she laughs once more reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

"You look a little tired. I think you need a little more than 6 hours tonight" she wrinkles her nose jokingly. "No more studying tonight Arlert" 

She wrinkles her nose once more nodding slowly. "Of course. Mostly eating, mostly sleeping. But did I tell you about the new job? I mean its in dad's business but not the building he works in. I feel very adult" idle chit chat. They could do this. She could do this. Just three more months. Three more months.. 

[wickxdgames-deactivated20150622]

[alouxtte-blog]

missing puzzle piece

someone give me an au where muse a and muse b are a newlywed couple or even a long-term couple who are at a downfall in their relationship. cuddling sessions turn into barely touching, date nights become a rarity, most of their conversations turn into fights,. they yell, they curse, they shove    usually leading up to muse b leaving for the night, returning before sunset smelling of alcohol and perfume, sometimes adorning lipstick stains on his neck. muse a pretends not to notice and/or care when it reality it’s tearing her up inside. both muse a and muse b feel as if their relationship is nearing to an end. until one night when the pair, who have both had a few too many drinks, find themselves in bed together for what they believe is the last time. that is, until muse a discovers that they are expecting. both know what it’s like to come from a broken home, not wanting the same for their unborn child. they decide to stay together for their baby. together, they’ll learn the ropes and experience the struggles of being parents. and through all of the hard times, they’ll fall in love with each other all over again.

[peppertarii]

[crystallizedannieleonhardt]

but I swear I’ll find your light in the middle,

where there’s so little late at night, down in the pit of the well.

"Palace" by The Antlers

[crystallizedannieleonhardt]

5 o'clock Somewhere || [arminthestrategist]

[arminthestrategist]

Armin stands just inside the doorway, gaze averted to give Annie some semblance of privacy as she dresses to go out. His cheeks are slightly flushed, but he hopes the darkness hides that fact. Clearing his throat, he says, “I know you haven’t been outside yet. At least not for more than the walk it takes to get from here to Hanji, so I … pulled some strings.”

All ‘pulled some strings’ really meant was that he was loosely interpreting Hanji’s order that Annie couldn’t go anywhere without an escort, and he’d rotated Connie and Sasha into her guard detail so he could take her out without any questions. But he’d also gone beyond that and let Mikasa know, settling for her discretely tailing them and watching in case Annie did try anything, even without her shifting abilities. Armin’s fairly confident that won’t be an issue, but he did it for everyone’s peace of mind. Better safe than sorry. Annie doesn’t need to know all the details, but he’s sure she’ll put it together on her own anyway. That’s besides the point. He just wants to get her some fresh air. Get her outside the four walls that have been her holding cell day and night. Armin walks her out, past his stoic comrades, hand on her elbow, speaking softly as they pass empty storage rooms until they emerge into a courtyard illuminated by the full moon. “We have until the next shift change. I’m sorry this couldn’t happen during the day, but at least it’s a clear night out.” The stars spread out vast and bright above them, a beautiful celestial canvas for their admiration.

[crystallizedannieleonhardt]

Annie simply stared at him, more than a little unsure as to why he was in her cell this late at night and once he started to explain she was even more confused, sure she knew that he had a lot more power than the last time she had met him but was he really able to take a prisoner out at night? No surely not even he could manage that. He must have done what he does best, come up with some sort of sneaky plan to get her out and get him in as little or no trouble at all.

"Oh I am sure you did" she mumbles as she stands ignoring the aching of her body. Surely none of that mattered now, nothing else but the fact that he had come for her, that he was offering her more kindness than anyone had in so long.

She should have known he would, if for no other reason than because he had always understood her better than anyone else, understood that the things she had done weren't as simple as everyone wanted them to be, they weren't simply about killing or death, it was so much bigger and he. He understood without having to be told.

"It's fine. I have always preferred the night." she stretches her tight limbs and splashes water in her face, shackles clicking. Which reminds her. "So are you going to take some of these off or...?"

[arminthestrategist]

since the last goodbye

[arminthestrategist]

When the distinctive Skype tone for an incoming call began blaring from his speakers, the rate of his heartbeat doubled. For a moment, Armin was reminded of the early days of their relationship, when everything was novel and he still couldn’t believe Annie Leonhardt, out of all girls, was interested in him. With that thought on his mind, he accepted the call, smiling widely as her face came into view. She was pixelated at first because of the crappy connection, but he heard her clearly.

”Hey there handsome”

He laughed and leaned forward to get a better look at her, tilting his laptop back as she finally came into crystal clear view. The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could think twice, “You look beautiful, Annie.” He realized he must look a little lovestruck and dumb, but he didn’t even care. It felt like it’d been an eternity since he’d seen Annie, and now he never wanted to look away. Beyond that, he felt better about having dressed up too, since he was wearing his best clean button-up and even nice slacks, although he’d forgone the shoes because he’d never learned how to be in anything other than socks at home. Home. It was only now that he was face to face with Annie that he felt the true pangs of homesickness for the first time since he’d moved. Distracting himself with school and networking events and new acquaintances had helped of course, since he’d slowly started carving out a space for himself in this new city, but he couldn’t deny just how much he missed his real home. "Let’s agree to never go that long without talking again, okay?"

[crystallizedannieleonhardt]

Her smile widens at his reaction and she too adjusts her computer screen leaning closer, almost as if it was going to make a difference in the distance between the two of them. The distance that seemed further than ever in the last few weeks. Reality was starting to sink in, the truth of just how hard it was to love someone that she couldn't hold or see everyday, yet seeing him, seeing him live almost as if he was right before her was almost enough.

"Promise?"

She chuckles nodding before readjusting herself in her desk chair. "It really has been too long babe, I was about to text you yesterday morning when I ran into Mikasa actually, she started going off about something or the other and it wasn't until I got home that I realized the text was only half written. By the way our friends keep asking about you, you might want to be better at keeping up with all of them" she continues to joke.

She knew that none of them really minded, they were all equally as busy be it with work or with grad school, besides that Armin would be home for the holidays and they all had plan together. They had been friends long enough to know that a few weeks made no difference.

"How have you been baby? Getting enough rest and food? Because knowing you, you are probably up all night trying to figure something or the other out" she rolls her eyes tilting her head, icy eyes meeting his own. 

[crystallizedannieleonhardt]

Mistake worth Making ✐ arminthestrategist

[arminthestrategist]

Armin can’t help the laugh that escapes him at Annie’s irregular tone of voice, but he tries to angle the phone away so she won’t hear it. It’s obvious she’s had more than a few drinks. While it’s funny, it’s also strange to him. Annie has never been so warm or bubbly. He’d gotten to know her over the past few months but not like this. “You know me, staying in on Friday nights is practically my second job.” His self-deprecation is only half a joke, but he smiles as he says it. “I don’t know, though, are you sure…” He gets up, starts pacing as he talks. “You’re out with friends, I’d be intruding.” He doesn’t even know why he’s contemplating this. It would be crossing some sort of line, wouldn’t it? Wait, would it? He and Annie are just friends. “I know I’m not doing anything but…” Even as he says this, he opens his laptop up again so he can look up the club she’s talking about on a local news website. It comes up immediately, very popular and sure to be packed at this time. “How would I even get in alone?” He sighs into the line, almost absentmindedly.

[crystallizedannieleonhardt]

Annie reaches up readjusting her hair followed by her phone. Her smile only widens at his joke which was simply so Armin she was reminded why she was even calling him in the first place. "You study too much. Aren't you already smart enough?" 

"Intruding? Psh none of that! I mean I'm the one calling you after all." at his next objection she stops her eyes roaming the packed club and she realizes he is right, there was no way anyone was getting in at this time especially a guy, even one as good looking as Armin was. "How about this? Take a cab here and pick me up. We can head towards nice bar I know nearby. The girls are too drunk to really care if I am here or not and I am honestly too tired to stand for much longer" she giggles once more. "Come on Armin don't say no! I am texting you the address now and I will be outside in thirty minutes. Don't keep me waiting too long!" with that she hangs up quickly sending him her location. Thank god for the iphone because she honestly had no idea where she was. 

[arminthestrategist]

since the last goodbye

It’s the end of a long day, but even though exhaustion settles into his very bones after a shower, Armin can’t think about anything else except Annie. Nearly a whole week without hearing her voice or seeing her beautiful face. Neither of them can be blamed; suddenly, they were both busy at different times, and planned dates were canceled left and right until it was Friday and Armin was having dinner with some classmates when he realized he hadn’t heard from his girlfriend all day. Immediately, guilt had rushed him, and he’d sent her a text asking for her forgiveness and pleading for a call that night, no matter how late. He has the weekend, after all, and he doesn’t think he would be able to sleep thinking about how long they’d gone without talking after three whole weeks of nonstop contact, which had eased his transition. It’d only been a month since they had parted at the airport and the semester had started, but he thought: This is how it starts, and then they would blink and find themselves distant. He refuses to allow that to happen. So he settles in front of his computer with his nightly tea and waits for her Skype call to come in, anticipation causing his heartbeat to flutter.

[crystallizedannieleonhardt]

Annie had known going in that long distance relationships took a lot more work than any other, she knew that missing someone was always a challenge but she hadn't expected it to hurt as much as it actually did. She found herself turning to him when she should know by now that he wasn't going to be there. He had gone for about a month and already it felt like so much longer. Seeing Mikasa and Eren around always was hard as well seeing as she kept expecting to see his blonde hair following not too far behind. It was strange to hang out and know he wasn't coming but she would never admit any of this out loud.

No saying this would sound like she was doubting their relationship or wasn't happy with what she did get of him and that, that couldn't be further from the truth. Armin was and always would be one of the best things in her life and simply because she couldn't be with him physically at the moment it made the fact no less true.

It was truly amazing how a week could pass in a flash and neither of them even notice, she was so busy with grad school and the same could be said about him that when she least expected his apology came in and she found herself doing the same. It was date night and even if she felt slightly ridiculous putting on make-up and a nice dress for a cam date she wanted to enjoy her time with her boyfriend. Fixing a stray lock as she sat at her desk she quickly fired up her laptop opening skype and clicking his name. After a deep breath to calm the nerves she wasn't sure she understood she clicked call smiling widely when his face popped up on her screen.

    "Hey there handsome" 

[thewrittenart]

I don’t know when we’ll see each other again or what the world will be like when we do. We may both have seen many horrible things. But I will think of you every time I need to be reminded that there is beauty and goodness in the world.

Arthur Golden (Memoirs of a Geisha)

[crystallizedannieleonhardt]

Worlds Apart → Arminthestrategist

[arminthestrategist]

Armin hums contentedly when Annie leans in to kiss him, arms tightening around her to pull her flush against his body. He runs a hand up her back to her hair so he can let it down and run his fingers through the short length, letting the familiar scent of her shampoo wash over him as he deepens the kiss and moves to lay her down on the couch. “We’re good at time management, so I think we can make them all happen,” he mumbles against her mouth, lips curving into a smile as he slips a wandering hand under the hem of her shirt, smoothing across the warm skin of her stomach.

The afternoon passes by too quickly, Armin wrapped up in memorizing everything about Annie — her voice, the way she looks underneath him and above him, the intensity in her expression, and the emotions in her eyes. He loves her so completely, and he makes sure she knows it fully, imbuing every touch with the depth of his feelings for her. He’s so entranced by her that when the alarm rings, bringing him back down to reality, he can’t help but groan in protest, hiding his face in her hair as he turns it off and tosses his phone back onto the night table.

“I wish you didn’t have to go,” he whispers, and it’s a confession he has no right to make, not now when Annie has to get on an airplane in a few hours, so he follows it up with an apology. “That’s selfish of me, I know, but I just— I’m going to miss you so much.” Pulling away just enough so he can look at her, Armin cups her face in his hands, his thumbs sweeping across her cheeks. He stares at for one long moment, trying to commit this last afternoon together to memory.

[crystallizedannieleonhardt]

Annie has always thought time went too fast when she was spending time with Armin and this was even more true when it came to spending that time between the sheets. Years together meant he knew her body better than she did sometimes and with each kiss, each touch she loses herself completely. It goes too fast, each minute passing in seconds and before she knows it the breathless kisses turn to soft caresses and his alarm is ringing. Their time is almost up and as she gazes into his blue eyes a part of her doesn't want to go. Doesn't want to get up or get dressed because suddenly the thought of leaving him behind is too much for her to bare.

He voices feelings and for a moment she wonders if her face had betrayed her once more, if she had let on just how hard this was or her but he continues to speak and all she can do is press herself closer to him, pale fingers tracing his chest as she speaks. "It's not selfish.. I don't want to go either. I wish I could stay here at least one more day but we both know I wouldn't want to leave tomorrow either" she chuckles sadly trying to cover up the sudden knot she was feeling. She couldn't cry. Not yet. Not while he could see.

They do dress eventually, her pulling on one of his cardigans and winking at him playfully. "Just going to pretend I can take some part of you back home with me" as if she didn't have countless hoodies and shirts that had once belonged to him. The ride to the airport is too short even in traffic and they walk hand in hand towards her gate. They had never been good at goodbyes and had both agreed to not be the cliche movie couple. She kisses him quickly blinking back tears, strokes his cheek one more time and lets go of his hand heading towards the plane. One step closer to New York and one step farther away from home.  

[thegalwholived]

Visit Original Link

[crystallizedannieleonhardt]

I shouldn’t go on hoping Oh, that you will change your mind & one day we could start again Well, I don’t care if loneliness kills me I don’t wanna love somebody else

[aruanidefensesquad]

Source

[faxiaozhi]

considerate boyfriend

[crystallizedannieleonhardt]

Worlds Apart → Arminthestrategist

[arminthestrategist]

Armin turns his head into her touch instinctively, closing his eyes for a second as he tries to memorize the feel of her fingers running through his hair. How many times had she carried out the same action over the years? He’d never appreciated it as much as he did in that moment, knowing that he wouldn’t have any of this, any amount of physical contact with Annie, for a few months. Until the next holiday at least. 

His heartbeat stutters sadly in his chest, but he swallows past the sudden lump in his throat. “Oh yeah, we did a great job. I need to send pictures to Eren and Mikasa because they were doubting our ability to build Ikea furniture.” He takes her hand as she stands, casually bringing it up to his lips so he can press a kiss to her knuckles, dusty from the books she’d been handling. “Going to the beach won’t be any fun without you, or our friends. Who else is going to indulge me in long walks at sunset?” He’s recalling one of many fond memories they’ve had on vacations on the East Coast, a dangerous road to sentimentality. He wants to be strong for Annie, to not make their goodbye more painful than it already will be. Following her, he flops onto the couch, tugging her down with him so she sits on his lap, his arms wrapped around her. He nods along to her words, already envisioning all those things and trying to use the potential happiness in what was to come to squash the sadness in his heart. “I’ll take you, of course. I’ve got to get used to driving in this city.” He nuzzles into her, hiding his face against her neck. “Is there anything you want to do before you have to go?”

[crystallizedannieleonhardt]

There was so much being left unsaid, so much she wasn't ready to voice, if for no other reason than it was adding fuel to the fire of how hard this was going to be, each kiss felt like a goodbye and the closer her departure came, the heavier her heart felt in her chest. It was hard to say goodbye but she knew it wasn't forever. No that was the point of all this, sure long distance was hard, was something she wouldn't have even considered before he came into her life but this, they were worth it.

She watches as he lifts her hand to his lips, icy blue eyes intent in memorizing the moment, remembering what he looked like when he looked at her, what his voice sounded like when they were alone, but most of all she wanted to capture what it was like to be in his presence, the indescribable warmth that only he seemed to provide. He melted away all the insecurities and maybe clinging to that thought would help her deal with the very long wait. "They have always doubted us, remember when they thought we wouldn't be able to out drink them? Proved them wrong" she chuckles fondly at the memory. They had all always been close, something that came with dating Armin meant basically dating his friends too. "Oh I am sure you can mange, plenty of pretty girls in bikinis and plenty of marine life to keep you busy.

She scoots closer to him on the couch sighing as he nuzzles her neck, an action so familiar it has her chest tightening all over again. "Yeah I think thats smart, I mean wouldn't want you getting lost all that often and its LAX maybe we will see someone famous.." with that she turns to face him, face drawn before nodding her head bowing to capture his lips. "I can think of a few things." she mumbles before kissing him again her arms coming up to curl around his neck. 

[crystallizedannieleonhardt]

Worlds Apart → Arminthestrategist

[arminthestrategist]

Armin cannot imagine what his life would be like without Annie in it. While everyone had known him for his close friendship with Eren and Mikasa, his relationship with Annie had always been the most interesting aspect in his life, even when they were just children on a playground and she was pushing down a boy in the mud for trying to pick on Armin. She had grown up introverted, labeled by so many as seemingly unapproachable and cold, but Armin had always seen past that. 

She had a good heart, a wicked sense of humor, and ambitions to rival his own. That was how they’d made it to where they were now: Armin moving into an apartment thousands of miles away from home, set to start grad school in a few weeks at UC San Diego to work toward a degree in the marine sciences. He’d hesitated, fought with himself and what seemed like half of his friends and family, but Annie had just stood by his side. Yes, he’d been accepted to a school much closer to home, but here his opportunities were even greater. She understood him, and she loved him, like he did her. Truthfully, it wasn’t easy. They had many difficult conversations, but what mattered was that he hadn’t lost her. A bit of distance couldn’t dim how much he loved her. Armin laughs, standing up from what feels like the hundredth box of books to stretch. He might have exaggerated, but how else could he make this place feel like home? “You know that could never be possible,” he says, walking over to her. He leans down and presses a kiss to her cheek, whispering, “How about we take a break? Honestly, I don’t want to waste the rest of the time I have left with you unpacking my books.”

[crystallizedannieleonhardt]

The smallest smile plays on Annie's lips at his words and she knows it to be true. Considering how much they had been through and just how deep their loyalties laid when it came to the other she doubted there was anything or anyone the other could love more than each other. She herself who was a self proclaimed bitch knew there was nothing or anyone she loved more.

Her nose scrunches playfully as his full lips make contact with her skin and she reaches up instinctively. her fingers running down his golden locks. "Yeah I think that would be good, I mean I think the place looks pretty good, all things considered." she unfolds her legs carefully standing she stretches before turning to look at her boyfriend. "Going back to New york is going to suck without you. Lucky you, get the beach year round" she tries to smile falling short once more.

"I will have to come back during the summer, make sure I get plenty tan before coming back" she continues taking his hand to lead him towards his couch. "We are going to skype every night. And text all the time. So it won't even feel like you are gone." if she was trying to convince herself or him at this point she was no longer sure. "Are you the one taking me? Or am I getting a cab" 

[toutlefromage-deactivated201603]

How about some cuddling AruAni?

I uh kinda forgot the cuddling part haha sorry bout that -sweat-

[crystallizedannieleonhardt]

Worlds Apart → Arminthestrategist

    Annie had known Armin Arlert her whole life, to think of a time where she didn't have him was hard to do. They went to elementary school together, watched each other grow through the awkward middle school years and had finally gotten together their senior year. All their friends had seen it coming, they had skirted around each other for so long it was truly only a matter of time.

   Prom came and went and eventually they were off to college together in the Big City. New Jersey was a boat ride or a car trip over so they were never far from home and with a new school came new adventures, they grew together and the more time passed the more everyone expected from them. Moving in together, marriage, kids. The whole shebang. Everyone wanted to know when and while they had talked about it they both had plans. Big plans.

 Armin had been accepted to a Grad school in California and after much consideration and deliberating he had accepted. Annie had supported him and when the time to move came she found herself in his apartment helping him set up his abundance of books. It was hard, hard to know that her long time boyfriend would be so far away, yet she wasn't about to give up years of her life because of the distance, She idly brushes a blonde strand away standing and looking at the book shelf before turning towards Armin himself. Her flight was in a few hours and the goodbye was eminent. "You and these damn books, sometimes I am almost sure you love them more than you do me..." she teases half heartily wondering how she would deal without him for the next few months. 

[crystallizedannieleonhardt]

Mistake worth Making ✐ arminthestrategist

[arminthestrategist]

Armin hadn’t lied to Annie when he told her he really didn’t have any plans for the weekend. He had a paper due on Wednesday, so when her call came in late that night, he was curled up on his couch, laptop burning through his blanket as he chipped away at his assignment in between commercial breaks on House Hunters. His ringtone startled him, and he nearly knocked over his pile of textbooks as he scrambled for it, searching in between the sofa cushions in his effort to reach it before it kicked the call to voicemail. 

To say that he was surprised to see Annie calling him at half past eleven would be an understatement. He hesitated for a second, insecure and a little concerned, but then he moved himself to swipe at the green button. “Hi Annie,” he said into his phone, turning down the volume of his TV and setting aside his laptop at the same time. He could hear the noise around her; it was clear she was out, apparently having made plans with her friends after all. It made him wonder why she was calling, even though he wasn’t bothered by it. Quite the opposite. He was a little too pleased to be hearing her voice again, that she’d thought of him even after they’d said their goodbyes earlier. “I’m not busy, no, what’s up? Is everything okay?”

[crystallizedannieleonhardt]

Annie smiled to herself when she heard his voice, she couldn't help it there was something about Armin that simply made her day better. That wasn't a thought she allowed herself to have while she was sober, no that was a thought she reserved for late nights and drunken escapades. "Hi there I thought you might be out! Its friday night ya know?" she giggles waving Sasha away as she cradles the phone closer. "You should come see me!" she continues to giggle stumbling over her heels she grabs the wall for stability.

"Im in that new club, the one they just opened down town and its great! It's a lot of fun and waiting to see you until monday sucks" she continues to giggle in a very unlike herself manner, the alcohol clearly getting to her at this point. Sure she knew she was a married woman and she shouldn't be calling her trainer but then again, they were friends, and friends could go out... Even if she thought her friend was a little more attractive than he should be. That was besides the point.