cshcliche

Time will pass and new people will love me

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My Blog

[starsinourparacosm]

yes he’s experienced but at the cost of my dignity

with every first i have with him, i’ll be scared he’ll feel like it’s plagiarism from the relationships he’s had before

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he probably told her that she was the most beautiful girl in the world and that he loved her .

he says the exact same things to me that he has already said to another girl and he fully meant it with his entire heart and mind.

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Jelousy

I feel like I'm so jealous all the time when it comes to him.

It's so pathetic and insecure of me, and it comes from the worst parts that I don't want to be seen, which is why I am crying alone in my room instead of in his arms. Of course, he has an ex, most people do and that is okay, and I can deal with it, but what I can deal with is having a box of pictures of her and things she gave you in your room. He compromised and moved it to a closet somewhere else in his house, but I am so angry. I hate how I feel, I'm so upset and mad, I hate that he's keeping it. He has a good reason and I know he doesn't miss her, and he likes me more, but it still makes me so mad: like, why do you need to keep a reminder of another girl, another girl that came before me and that you loved at some point, a girl that you dated and had sex with, you kissed her and held her, and there's a reminder of this under your bed. Figures she got you, photo booth pictures, and drawings etc. I wish I didnt care and I wish I had a good enough reason to feel like this, and honestly I just wish he would get rid of that stupid fucking box but I cant force him and I dont want to force him because then he will be upset, which isnt fair.

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I feel like I give so much love to my boyfriend and i’d do whatwver he asked and i’d put up with so much because ai reslly loce him.

But I know he wouldn’t do the same for me, he wouldn’t forgive me for doing something abd to him, he wouldn’t forgive me for something i’d easily let go of if it meant I could stay with him.

I would do so much for him, and I just know he wouldn’t not put in the same effort for me. Maybe I don’t ask for things enough? shoulf I need to ask?

All I want is for someone to say “this reminded me of you” with a song,maybe somwthing mundane like w flower? a building? a tree? anything. Maybe I just want someone to text me “I love you” just because they can’t take it, just because they miss me. These are all things I do, but I guess I just don’t cross anyone’s mind that often.

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why do people only take me seriously when I cry

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Lately ive been feeling so out of it, I feel like i’m on auto pilot mode, like om piloting a robot in a video game.

I feel like timr isnt real, like it does not exist to me, but it does exist to everyone else who is infront go em snd they are all in a bubble that i’m left out of, however they can all still see and hear me, but i’m not fully there with them.

I hate feeling like this, and I dont know who to tell because I don’t think anyone really cares enough to reslly figure out why, instead all they do is say “me too” or “why do you care” or “just ignore it”, I wish someone would ask me if i’m okay instead of me having to try so hard to get their attention.

I don’t like feeling like this. I feel passive, I feel like i’m pushing down all the love in me because it is not being returned baxk to me, naybe it’s better that way? maybe I should expect less?

maybe I hope someone I know woukf see this, just so they would really care, and maybe reply how I want them to. With love and understanding.

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TW!- (idrk for what but uhm something i’m sure)

how can my own mother look at my and say “I want to fucking punch your face so bad right now”

my own mother, who raised me, eho made my face in the image of hers, in the image of love.

How can she look at me and say that? to the face she made? the face she raised? how can a mother think that about the face of her baby.

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Boyfriend

I just want him to send me nice cute messages like he used to and I want him to say nice things to me and when im crying I want him to say its okay my sweet baby come here but he doesnt do that and when I asked him to say something nice he fucking said " uhhh idk" like what and yeah, he called me beautiful but that was after he said uhhh idk like im so fucking upset and and im crying and I just wanted him to say something nice to me why does he have to be like that I just wanted him to say something ice why do I even need to ask I just wish he could read my mind

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Getting older is such an interesting thing, as in it isnt good or bad.

On one hand, I hate the fact that I can tell time is passing faster; the car ride to my grandparents house seems shorter then what I remember, I no longer ask if were there yet, and I no longer complain about it because I suddenly realize we are already there.

I don’t t like that I can tell things are moving faster because it’s different, i’m not very good at different when it’s solely me.

However, there are some good things, more experiences, and my hairs getting longer I guess.

Everything is moving too fast

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I wish tongue piercings werent seen as so sexual :C

(especially on girls)

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my makeup is gonna be all smudged and then people can tell i was crying. My shorts are too short and i’m too full. I feel horrible.

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why are people so mean for no reason sometimes? especially when they know i was already upset about something else, cant they just be nice or even normal??? i hate it here i wanted to have a good thanksgiving.

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i’m sooo tired im so so so tired omfggg i literally UAAGHHH i hate math i don’t want to do my review but i have a test in thursday andddd dandnnddddd i have a uhhhhhehdbd i have a chemistry quiz right after this (which i’m failing the class btw) ugghdhdhdjdnf i have a 54% rn which is SO SO SO bad like idk how, i thought i was doing good tbh

the lion does not concern himself with being tired

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not stingy with gum because i didnt buy it anyways

[hunnyzpurity]

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guys help help i cant sleep all i can think about is how fat i am jesus christ