[the-memedaddy]

Me irl

[inamoratabythehour]

Wow inspiring, life goals

[afeelgoodblog]

My life has significantly improved after this

[googlemenot-deactivated20230921]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[skywitchmaja]

when you’re out at a restaurant or a coffee shop or a target or whatever with your friends and you overhear/eavesdrop the same snippet of some stranger’s conversation, and you look at each other for a second to check that you both heard this stranger say the same weird/funny/baffling thing and just break out in knowing grins and quiet laughter… that’s a love language

[blooming-conifers]

I was eating alone at a mexican restaurant once and a group of college kids were chatting over tortilla chips. There was some jabber and then..

“ ..we had to climb over the bob wire!”

“Dude, did you just say ‘bob wire’?”

“Yea man, that spiky shit!”

“You actually think it’s called bob wire? Like fucking Robert wire? You think it’s called Robert wire?”

“Well what the hell do you think it’s called?”

“It’s BARB wire you idiot! Like Barbara wire!”

*the third guy* “Oh my god. You guys. BARBED wire. Because the wire has barbs, it is BARBED.”

“Oohhhhh!”

“Fucking Robert and Barbara wire. Fuck you guys.”

[bisexualbaker]

Robert Wire/Barbara Wire OTP

[aegissi]

I have to admit. I am not living la vida loca

[the-clown-wars]

[antisisyphus]

why the fuck would i check my email, thats where the fucking emails are

[iamnotheretoamuseyou]

[rationalisms]

literally sitting here hysterically laughing and close to tears because the UK government missed over 16,000 covid 19 cases in the past week and therefore failed to trace them or publicize correct infection statistics BECAUSE THEY WERE USING EXCEL TO KEEP TRACK OF THEM AND THE SPREADSHEET RAN OUT OF COLUMNS

every week there's another news item that immediately tops the list of real life events that sound like an overwrought politics SNL sketch and every week all i can do is laugh because otherwise i'd be resorting to arson

this year is a cosmic joke and i am absolutely terrified of the punchline

[rationalisms]

i'm sorry i'm not done they have spent MONTHS now gassing up their ~incredible world beating test & trace system~ that they spent 12 BILLION POUNDS ON!!!! and it apparently consists entirely of a single fucking microsoft excel spreadsheet i can't fucking take this anymore i want off mr. johnson's wild ride

[andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels]

[decembernovemberoctober]

[sadclowncentral]

today i intimidated a men's barber into cutting my hair??

[sadclowncentral]

barber: sorry we don't do women's hair here.

me: okay.

(stare at each other for thirty seconds)

barber: I have an appointment free tomorrow at 2?

[sadclowncentral]

[pleatedjeans]

[clown-gf]

THIS IS IT. IVE FOUND THE FUNNIEST THING ON THIS PLANET.

[tastefullyoffensive]

via pleated-jeans

[panelshowsource]

# when u get beat at ur own game

[anxietyproblem]

[shrekyourself]